What is the meanest thing you can say about an ex?

He lied to his wife about hi Heroin addiction.

He lied to his wife about fucking me.

I hate him and hope he burns in a sulfur bath in hell.

That fucker wouldn’t send me the link to Manvox….

The Rogaine wasn’t working.

I think “he” is a “she”, and I think she is a changeling.

He was a psychopath, a liar, he had bad skin, smelled like bandaids, and had weird wiry hair. Also he was a BAD KISSER and I hope he rots.

One had QAH and the other had a pencil dick.

R5 That's MEAN!

My life is so much better now that he’s dead.

Lazy, drunken bum.

Now he's a lazy sober bum.

Would rather let his place of residence fall down around him from neglect rather than get off his fat ass and clean or make repairs.

Expects to be waited on hand and foot, as if he were to the manner born (which couldn't be further from the truth). .

Bad taste and a bad dick.

He had a half-butt, literally, it was like flat, then a shelf, then half a butt.

His dick was tiny. Despite what I said, it wasn’t satisfying

He'd fart nearly the entire time I fucked him if he ever had more than one beer, which happened far-too frequently.

He called people "rockstars" constantly like a millenial wine-mom.

He had an 'Atlas Shrugged' poster above his bed.

Therapists kept taking his money, but surely they'd given up on him if they had a few brain cells.

^^*milennial

R11 So that’s why you broke up with me.

[quote]He had an 'Atlas Shrugged' poster above his bed.

Now that's just mean.

R16 = Hank Hill

He’s a bedwetter when he drinks.

Nothing at all. It wasn't them...it was me.

He had a great dick. Too bad it was attached to a bigger one.

He also has birthing hips.

Whatever the meanest thing is, remember - *you* picked him.

[quote] as if he were to the manner born

Oh, dear.

But I didn't pick his nose r23. That was all him.

I don't really have many bad things to say about any of my exes, we wouldn't have gotten to the point of seeing each other if they weren't good guys. If we expand the field to hook-ups, I can sling some mud.

R6 - wtf is QAH?

He's a DLer

R27 Queen-at-Home

Total fucking loser. I should have known he was a loser when he was still living at home with his parents at 28. He’s now 45 and still there.

R29 - One had a Queen-at-Home?

Meaning a side-piece?

He lived in torment of his own making. Poor thing, he'd hate me even more if he knew how I pity him.

Nothing to say. They are utterly unremarkable.

r24, Oh, dear to you. The actual phrase *is* “to the manner born”. Go back and reread your Hamlet, there’s a good boy.

vindictive

beautiful, but simple. And he didn't know he was simple.

Sociopathic tendencies

So far not a single "He drained his pasta".

Two words: soiled caftan

He was overly materialistic, kind of shallow, couldn’t sustain a conversation, used the word “supposably” a lot, kissed with his mouth held rigid, didn’t know the difference between your and you’re, obsessed over making the bed with hospital corners, refused to ever allow us to eat in bed…

but he was actually a really decent guy.

You won’t ever get a guy who will go that deep again!

R34 I will double oh dear myself. My sincere apology. I've only heard it said as some kind of reference to royalty or aristocrats which is clearly incorrect. You impress me.

"A perfect ass"

I would never share petty shit like this about an ex were it not on anonymous thread. But this is fun and cathartic. The fact is, everyone is blinded to their partner's flaws to some degree during the honeymoon phase when we're still thoroughly dickmatized and our brains are bathed in feel-good chemicals. No one can be blamed for missing/forgiving lots of these red flags in the early days.

That said, if you've collected quite a few sociopathic exes, that sounds like something you need to do some personal work on. The fact that you continue to be attracted to them is a you problem.

R42, if it helps you to forgive yourself, “To The Manor Born” was a multi-season BBC comedy series, its title punning off the Shakespeare phrase and adding to the confusion.

Every time I start writing something here, I end up criticizing myself for getting sucked into their world and putting up with their bullshit.

So, not worth it.

It was 40 years ago, and I still think the best thing that ever happened to me was catching him cheating and throwing his ass out of my house.

He kept shitting on my dick

Jeez - you guys picked some bad ones. How long were you all together?

All of my long-term relationships ended because of circumstances, not because they were bad people. I don't hate any of my exes - but I don't speak to them either. They all had some fantastic qualities and were great in bed (luckily).

He's overly critical, he never listens. He…he doesn't understand. It's not fair!

" ... if you've collected quite a few sociopathic exes ... "

It was one the one, dear. Thanks anyway for your concern.

"I'm not able to decide if I am gay or straight" - cute for about a minute in his twenties. Not so cute when his balding ass is spending school nights cruising the adult bookstore.

His favourite TV show was "Just For Laughs Gags"

"Is it in yet?"

When we had a Grindr account for threesomes, I had to change the profile pic from my face to his face after a few days.

The reason for the change: guys who messaged me kept backing out after they saw what my BF looked like. I never told him because I knew it would humiliate him. He thought he was so much better looking than he actually was.

R55 - so guys thought they were hooking up with twins? How can you have 2 pics of the same person - and what did the guys say when they showed up?

I hope the fucking I got was worth the fucking he was getting.

We never consummated our marriage. And that's fine.

I explained it badly, r56. I was running the account and had a pic of my face as the profile. Guys would message me, I'd send my BF's pic and they'd say no thanks to a threesome. I changed the profile pic from my face to my boyfriend's face to weed out all the people who wanted to fuck me but not my boyfriend.

We didn't have a couple's pic as the main profile pic because we were trying to hide our threesome hunting from our friends and coworkers as it as was a small city.

Tldr: he wasn't very attractive and didn't know it.

R59, so you just took what would come to fuck him? Once they saw you, was he ignored in the threesome? This fascinates me more than it should.

[5].

[quote][R24], Oh, dear to you. The actual phrase *is* “to the manner born”. Go back and reread your Hamlet, there’s a good boy.

The most entertaining part of this thread was waiting for someone to "oh, dear" that and then get slapped for the utter failure.

"to the manner born” makes no sense. Manner of what?

I have good taste so I have nothing bad to say about my exes.

[quote]"to the manner born” makes no sense. Manner of what?

"To the manner born" means someone has a natural aptitude or is accustomed to something from birth, often associated with a particular skill, behavior, or social class. It implies a sense of ease and familiarity, as if they were born with that particular way of doing things."

I needed the third person to find my boyfriend attractive or the threesome was a non-starter, r60. I had standards in addition to that. I don't want it make sound like I would fuck anyone who said yes to my boyfriend.

Yes, I would get more attention than him and had to work hard so that he didn't feel left out. It was a pretty bad relationship, but those were the kinds of choices you make when you're 24.

R59 Norman, is that you?

Hey R11 at least he had half an ass. My poor late 1st husband had no ass . Even after we were together for years and he put on 60 lbs,his ass stayed as flat as a pancake . Thank god he had a lovely big dick to make up for it . Had he not died Ive no doubt we'd still be together. In fact Ive had 2 husbands die on me . I dated way more than my share of psychos though. It wasnt really my fault,my apartment was right around the corner from a probation office so I developed a taste for ex con cock .

R68, I’m curious, was your late husband a back sleeper? I had an ex (well, just 2 dates and a sex romp) who liked to guess people’s sleeping position based on their looks. Back sleeper = handsome face, square shoulders but flat ass.

He guessed mine, side sleeper = some degree of facial asymmetry; not-so-good posture; but a very nicely formed ass

I don’t really hate any of my exes. But I do have LOTS of regrets about the one I spent most of my adult life with.

We parted ways and are still friends. But I wasted so much time and the chance to have a real life with another adult.

He is and always was a sorry ass. A man baby. Sweet natured, but totally irresponsible and with very little ambition. His family is also fucked up, so I missed out on having a normal extended family as well.

I made some really bad decisions in an effort to build a life with him. Those mistakes are my own responsibility, but I hate that I spent so much time pretending his idiocy was normal.

[quote] I had standards in addition to that

Even in the gutter one must look up at the stars.

He used the shower as an activity center - brushing teeth, conditioning hair, shaving, shower beer…

I bet he’s brought in bolognese at least once.

How long were you together, r70?

DUIs, bedwetting.

He thought "Auld Lang Syne" was "Old Land's Eye."

R69 He was a back sleeper for sure .I loved that man with all my heart but handsome he was not. He knew it too. In fact he asked me out for months before I finally went out with him. I was just that superficial a queen . He picked me up on a friday night and we fucked until monday morning. I moved in later that month and we were together 12 wonderful years.

Missed with cow tongue.

^ Kissed. 🙄

I know it was said before, but a decent dick attached to a rude dick.

He had the Irish curse

[quote]He had the Irish curse

Drank too much and then pissed in the closet thinking it was the bathroom?

He could be very empathetic and kind but dammit, he was the most awkward person socially, and he dressed like an 80:year old. Same erection problems too. Always talked about his stupid cars. A Jeep Compass? So what.

R81 I'm guessing micro-dick.

R24 oh dear yourself. The poster used manner correctly.

R45, that’s really no excuse.

Your high school English teacher.

R54 really?!

The full quote is “I am native here and to the manner born.””—i.e, Hamlet is well-acquainted with how things go at Elsinore.

For R63^^

R71 - I know that's from Wilde, but for some reason I heard Oscar the Grouch's voice from "Sesame Street" saying it, and it kinda fit.

Mr. Micro Penis who tried waaaa-aaaay too hard to compensate by an oversize personality. He was cheap, too.

Dabbing at his stinky dick with a piece of toilet paper was his idea of adequate hygiene.

I have had only one ex and he died far too young; 36 years ago. Half a lifetime: he’d be 72 were he still with us.

I can’t say much bad about him. He fucked around a lot, enough for us to break up and later, to kill him. It might have just been a blip in our relationship (or maybe not: he was fucking someone I knew) but I met someone else by that weekend, long before I thought to go looking, so we never got back together but stayed friends. He was diagnosed with HIV five years later and his then-partner died a year after he did.

The worst thing I can say about him is that he’s gone. He was a slut, but I loved him.

I left him because his dick was really too small.

[quote]What is the meanest thing you can say about an ex?

Andrew Cuomo is a tired old cunt

"To the manor born," alluding to the British sitcom, actually makes better sense in R9, since the line in Hamlet "to the manner born" doesn't refer specifically to the high-status lifestyle that R9 is referring to.

I'm sure one of my exes is entertaining his neighbors.

In prison, where he's been for a few years.

R77, you reminded me that my first boyfriend was a terrible kisser. He had many good qualities that outweighed that one bad one, though. I'm pretty sure he's a great husband to the guy he settled down with.

He was a professional singer, yet he couldn’t carry a tune.

That's a fascinating theory, R69. Amazed that I had to turn 60 before I first heard of it. Easy to prove scientifically.

He seroconverted and did not tell me about it. I found out through a bottle of AZT in the glove compartment.

R27: QAH = Questionable Anal Hygiene.

Better than Qanon Ass Hole?

You can’t hose down Qanon, can’t be cleaned up.

The funniest guy I ever knew, but a terrible lover.

He is profoundly superficial while being incredibly patronizing with no justification.

He had small Wallet and big Penes. Professional architect lady which is myself was highly disappointed.

It was like being a babysitter. Psycho drunken adolescent (age 30). Tantrum after tantrum. I KNOW he’s an unhappy loser. He’s unhappy that I hate him. Good.

[quote] "to the manner born” makes no sense. Manner of what?

Let me get this right. You're complaining that one of Shakespeare's most famous phrases "makes no sense"?

You signifying nothing, son.

You actually do have a small dick and a lot of the guys you’ve hooked up with have said so.

His teeth were perfect, but they fell away from the magnets too often.

Also, he was a bigot not working on anything. Done with that shit and I don’t want to backslide.

My last ex was a narcissistic asshole with a pencil dick.

R100 - THANK YOU! lol I Googled QAH and of course the internet knew nothing. I had completely forgotten that this was a DL-coined expression.

He was a glutton and whenever I went to parties with him or other situations where food was available he always pigged out and always went for thirds. Sometimes, people commented on this to me. Rude of them, yes, but also embarrassing.

One time, some queen (who didn't know he was my bf) dryly remarked, "That man looks very hungry!"as my bf wolfed down a plate of deli sandwiches.

Oh ICK R113 ! That wouldnt have happened but once and if he did it again that'd be the fucking end .

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. He did look like John Travolta somewhat.

I could only wonder my exes said about my dick.