Are you on the autism spectrum?

This should've been a poll.

Yes.

I'm "quirky", and asked my family if they ever thought I was on the spectrum. I got three yes votes and one non-committal!

R1, You're right, it didn't occur to me until after I'd posted. I first suspected I was autistic in my late 30s. I'd taken a couple of those online tests, and one said it was pretty likely, and the other was pretty much, yeah, you're autistic. I asked to get tested by my therapist's office, and I got my answer at the age of 41.

None of your fucking business OP.

But paint a target on your back, by all means good luck.

Just curious, R4, WTF were you diagnosed with?

Yes and I have the numbers and the receipts. And my shit together.

None of your fucking business r5

So much rage here, that's how your autism comes out when you're triggered, here's a tip, the people around you just think you're a cunt.

Yes. Neither I, nor anybody, nor anything around me is allowed to EVER CHANGE!

Yes. I was just diagnosed this year.

I doubt anyone here is surprised.

Do you think Nate Marston was?

R4/R7 isn't autistic, they're just a cunt.

I think he was just bipolar.

It was actually kind of a relief getting the diagnosis. It made a lot things make sense for the first. I’m not sure why no one suggested it before now, but my boyfriend raised the issue with me gently, saying something like “How many other people can give a thirty minute lecture on the difference between different cruise ship classes from memory?”

I'm not autistic, my mother had me tested.

[quote] I’m not sure why no one suggested it before now

We knew. Everyone knew.

R8 Were you abused by a mommie dearest like mother?

I’m on the brink of Aspie. One point away. I’ve always been socially inept.

Most smart people are.

R8 no just married to an absolute aspie robot who has no clue, no intuitiveness, no empathy.

‘’oh dear’’ she is clearly a member.

I sometimes think I am. No cap.

Yes, I also am an aspie. Thought for most of my life – until very recently, actually – that I was just "weird". But turns out, that's just what people like me used to be called when others didn't understand them. This popular girl in high school once told me I reminded her of the protagonist in Camus' The Stranger when we were reading that novel, and it stayed with me for the longest time, like a mantra ringing in the back of my head. I don't resent her anymore, people tend to reject anything that deviates from the norm, it's just how our society is structured. And they get rewarded for it, too – she's now incredibly rich and influential, while I'm poor and posting on an obscure American message board.

Yes. Dx at 36. I’m 55 now.

We used to just call it 'assholism'.

considering how wide they've made the spectrum, you ought to ask who ISN'T!

I have Ass Purger's.

Me SPESHUL.

No, but I have traces of schizotypal personality disorder (which is really a schizophrenia spectrum disorder and not a true personality disorder), which has some overlap with the symptoms of autism.

Many years ago we were at the park with our 2 dogs. They were very poopy that day and unfortunately we ran out of bags. We find a paper bag on the ground and use that, ok fine, but there were no receptacles nearby whatsoever. We return to the car and I'm thinking we'll stop on the way out of the park to dispose of the bag.

HE REFUSED to stop. I'm pointing to numerous trash cans as we are driving by, he still refuses to stop, wait until we get home he says. That's 20 minutes away minimum so I throw the bag under his feet as he's driving. HE STILL DID NOT STOP. Huge fight, I'm in tears.

Years later he admitted that he refused to stop because he was so spun out at the dense traffic right outside the park. Fucking asshole weirdo.

R29 You threw a bag of dog shit under the feet of someone while they were driving. I'm not sure you're in any position to call anyone an asshole.

R30 You're an aspie cunt too, I'm sure.

Is there a dating site for autistic people?

List of dating sites that I know of, that are intended specifically for autistic people:

- Uneepi (based in NYC)

- Hiki: Friendship and Love for the Autistic Community

- AutismDate

- Disabled Mate: Autism Dating Club and Asperger's Dating Club

- Aspie Singles

- Date Singles With Aspergers

I miss the days when we would call you a weirdo.

I learned the truth at seventeen.

When I was in preschool my mom asked a clinician if I had some autism but I don't. I do however have nonverbal learning disorder which is like the hell spawn of Asperger's and Attention Deficient Disorder without the perks of either.

I'd honestly prefer being on the spectrum because people have heard of autism. The vast majority have never heard of NLD nor do they understand it so they think I'm just not trying, which is a childish mindset.

I’m Bipolar. Diagnosed.

No.

I sometimes wonder. As a kid, I engaged in a lot of repetitive behaviors and had very weird obsessions with maps, street signs, and dates. When my grandma would visit from out of town (we lived in a semi-major city), she’d take me with her everywhere because I knew all of the routes to the grocery stores and other shops, street by street and turn by turn. I could get us anywhere. For fun at home, I would make street signs out of paper based on the maps of our neighborhood, plaster them around our house, and “drive” my toy cars around in my make-believe universe. This was going back to when I was around six years old. I was also obsessed with books and reading as far back as I can remember. I started reading around age 3 and excelled in reading/composition and languages from elementary school through high school. I was always placed in advanced courses in those subjects, but I struggled significantly with math and, to a lesser degree, science.

I never considered the possibility until I was in my twenties when someone pointed out to me that I tended to rock back and forth while sitting, especially when on the floor. I’d always done this unconsciously, but this person had a parent who was autistic and told me that this was something a lot of people on the autism spectrum do.

I rarely am uncomfortable in social situations and feel like I’m highly perceptive to people’s emotions and body language though, which is apparently NOT something most autistics navigate easily. I do need decompression time if I’ve been around a lot of people for extended periods, but I always just chalked it up to my personality being more on the side of a loner/introvert.

I think my dad is probably high-functioning autistic to be honest, and there is some crossover in our behaviors. I know he also had preoccupations/repetitive actions he engaged in as a child. He also has very niche interests and obsessions. As I’ve gotten older, I can see that he’s far less comfortable in social situations than I am—I just never noticed it as a child. We’ve both always been self-sufficient people though. I’ve worked since I was fifteen, put myself through college and grad school, and have had a relatively typical social life (albeit my circle is small). Still, looking back, I’ve always been a bit “off” in a way that I was not cognizant of for much of my early life. Maybe it’s autism, maybe not. I don’t really care either way.

R36 And what’s ironic is that none of us here on the internet can help you learn it because you wouldn’t be able to comprehend what you were reading.

Does it really matter? It is not like it is fixable or anything. Who gives a shit?

What is the best treatment for autism, autistic people?

How were you treated?

R42, how do you like to cook your eggplant?

Wrong thread.

My college alumni club has been dormant for years. About 4 years ago, someone revived it. I went to several events. The guy who revived it is deeply on the spectrum. EXTREMELY intelligent, but wedded to his stims. He brings his wife and child to many events, and they are also both on the spectrum. As an example, this guy loves to schedule alumni event at Trivia nights at local bars. He knows there will always be a category related to popular music. He started downloading the Billboard top hits weekly charts starting in the late 1990s and making physical copies until they stopped issuing them that way and he spends his free time memorizing them. There must be 5000 hits on those lists at least. I would describe him as "unconventional" in his social interactions, but he seems to enjoy being with other people. I doubt that he could have a one-on-one conversation in which his feelings would be a topic of conversation, but I'm sure he is good at whatever jobs he takes, once he understands what his duties are supposed to be. I wouldn't necessarily feel comfortable with him as a co-worker, but I don't think he would be poisonous, sociopathic, or even mean. Just a bit odd. Unlikely to understand humor or wit.

Unlikely to understand humor or wit.

I am somewhat autistic, but I have a great sense of humor!

MAHA wants to put autistic in “rehabilitation farms” where they pick organic produce to get better. y’all are foolish to admit to anything online.

Some people on the spectrum are very funny and socially adept. To some extent, comedy and social skills are forms of pattern recognition, and autistic people are often very good at pattern recognition.

r47, And when those concen... err, farms, get difficult to manage, the pri... um, guests, become the fertilizer!

I know it's a shitty thing to do, but I recently decided to break off a friendship with a friend of mine who *claims* to be on the spectrum. He was assessed by a psychologist maybe seven years ago, but refused to tell me the outcome of the test (I realize it's probably none of my business, but we'd been fairly good friends for a few years at that point, and he'd told me he was getting tested and talked about it quite a bit). He often said it took a ton of energy for him to "mask" his autism..

There was a build-up of small annoyances over the years that ended up becoming too much for me. For example, he cannot watch a movie with another person. He's unable to see watching a film together as a social activity. I'd suggest we watch this or that movie, then he'd say: "Why don't we each individually watch it at home and then discuss it and compare notes next week?". The main reason I had to part ways with him, though, was that he is a terrible listener, just the worst I've ever met. I was surprised by the way he would constantly interrupt me in mid-conversation, as there's quite a social taboo around talking over people--it's considered rude in just about every culture and is usually socialized out of you by your parents at an early age. I would mention the name of some actor or politician or author, and he'd excitedly say, before I finished my story: "Oh! Did you know that his/her father had Norwegian and Welsj ancestry, and their mother was of Malaysian descent?" Just trivial facts, uttered out of the blue like that and completely irrelevant to the topic. It always threw me off. At restaurants, he would always order either a burger and fries or steak and fries (it always had to be skinny fries). He would scan any menu in any restaurant for either of these dishes, and would feel a mild panic if he didn't see them. He's never had Thai food (he's 55) and claims not to like any Asian food at all. He would leave salad and vegetables on his plate uneaten, like a seven-year-old. Doesn't drink tea or coffee or any hot beverages, only Coke and Seven-Up. I'd occasionally send him news and political articles on WhatsApp and he'd get angry/paranoid, afraid that it would somehow be incriminating: "Do not EVER send me that!". He'd get into short-relationships with women and I'd never hear from him while he was dating. Then, following the inevitable break-up after a few weeks or months, he'd suggest meeting up again (He is straight and I am gay, so there was zero sexual tension or romantic interest on his or my part).

Maybe he was just a shitty friend or an eccentric person (not everything is necessarily clinical or neurological--some of it is just personality) and maybe he diagnosed himself as autistic to explain away some of his failures and shortcomings, who knows. I know it's cold to end long-term friendships abruptly, but at least I didn't ghost him. I told him to his face why I could no longer be friends with him, as kindly as I could.

"Welsj" - Welsh, obviously. Sorry for both the typo and the long-winded post.

Yes, OP - I am on the spectrum, as are you and every famous person with a low blink rate who you have ever found attractive! Every single one of them!

Feel better now?

Judy was said to be on the spectrum and the best way to diffuse that white hot anger was to make her laugh.

I meant dissipate not diffuse.

Oh OP honey everyone is on the spectrum now. It’s utterly boring, as are you.

My sister is non verbal and i sat with her when being assessed. Almost every question they asked, in order to verify if she is on the spectrum, ui was answering yes, also lol.

[quote]I am, and I was just wondering if I had company.

Fucking hell man, are you Rip Van Winkle? Have you been asleep for 20 years?

You can't spit in the tiniest of crossroads and not hit six self-absorbed people talking about "being on the spectrum" or people speculating about others "being on the spectrum."

Try going a whole day without hearing the sinking sound of those words.

It would be easier to do a show of hands of people are NOT on the spectrum than of those who are.

R48 That comment on pattern recognition is so interesting. It’s a marker for intelligence and raw intellectual prowess. My work is very public and very social, and I see some of my peers succeeding in some complex social environments like Board Retreats and research panels by practicing a form of behavioral economics. I’m a loner and an introvert, but sort of “muscle through” by getting others to talk and reveal things.

When I worked at a college library (2014-24), one week out of each semester (Fall / Spring) we had a 'Week of Acceptance', which was designed to 'celebrate our differences and be accepting'. Wednesday of those weeks were dedicated to 'Autism Day'. Anyone - staff member, professor, student - who was diagnosed with autism or 'on the spectrum' was asked to wear a 'yellow smiley face' sticker once they entered the library. That showed 'inclusivity' and you were encouraged to open up about your disorder with others.

All of my Millennials coworkers were the ones walking around with the smiley sticker. Out of a staff of fifteen of my coworkers, 10 were diagnosed with autism or 'on the spectrum' (all of them were born after 1980). Those of us who were born before 1980 were not (a notable difference). My coworkers who were parents of young children (high school - elementary) said all their children were autistic as well. It was rather interesting to hear their conversations about how they were autistic, their spouse / ex-spouse was autistic, and now their children were autistic. They were convinced their future grandchildren would have the disorder, as well. They would encourage each other to participate in the 'new study' they found, and wanted them to join. The college would grant them plenty of free time to take this time off and participate in the studies. (Those of us who were not autistic got no extra free time).

Of the Gen Z students who came in that day, I would say mostly all of the females wore a yellow smiley face (a good 90 %). Of the guys, maybe 10%. Out of curiosity, during conversations, I would randomly ask the student when she was diagnosed with autism - at what age (I was always curious if they did the testing in their teen years or before) ? More often than not, the response would be, 'Actually...my roommate was diagnosed with autism, and I know I have it, too, because I act the same way as her'. (Okie dokie - so it's trendy). When my coworkers would encourage these younger girls to 'join the study' or to 'get officially diagnosed' they refused. 'I don't need to, I know I have it' was their response.

R50 I am in a similar situation with a friend I've had for the past 15 years, and I've cut my 'socializing' with her waaaaay back to maybe once a month. She's really a good person with a big heart so I don't want to completely end the friendship at this point, especially because I'm only one of two she socializes with, but I'm exhausted from being with her. She really lacks any social skills. She just turned 64 (I'm 61) and too far gone to be tested / diagnosed.

Her interest in conversation is limited, at best. She can't talk about politics, sports, entertainment, local news, national news, etc. because she doesn't follow any of that (she says, 'I don't have time' but I believe it's deeper than that). She's not married, has never been in a relationship as far as I know (never mentioned one in the 15 years I've known her), and lives at home with her elderly father (a very nice man) who's in his 90s and in failing health (she does have some health home aids helping her throughout the week). She manages a franchised family restaurant, and devotes all of her time - including her free time- to this. The restaurant is all she can talk about. The only thing she can talk about is her job and those she works with.

As soon as we sit down at the table and open our menus, she starts with taking out her phone and calling the restaurant (which she just left a few hours ago) to 'check in' because (inevitably) they're short-staffed for the night as someone called out. Then she tells me - by name - every staff member who is working that night, what section she had to put them in, who she left in charge, etc. (I don't care). After we order (she orders the same thing no matter where we go - grilled chicken Caesar salad), I may squeeze in the question of 'How's your dad doing?' which gets the response of a shoulder shrug and an 'All right, I guess. It is what it is."

Then it's back to the restaurant. She'll throw out a random question like, 'Did you ever meet my kitchen manager Carlos ?' I respond no, and then she'll tell me all about Carlos - someone I never met and have zero interest in. After about 30 minutes of listening to this, she'll start again, but this time with questions: 'Did I tell you Alyssa's out on maternity leave ? I have to find someone who can do the breakfast shift...Eric said he'd do it, but I don't think he's a morning person...' and then again, 'Did you ever meet Carlos my kitchen manager ? " Then she tells me Amy's been there three months and she still doesn't know how to enter a Veteran's discount in the POS, Cedric found a new job... It goes on, and on, and on, and on....only the names change every couple of months when the employees she mentions eventually get fired / quit. Same stories.

She never ever asks me about my life, my job, my family - she has no interest. When I do try to change the subject (I'll even say outright, 'Let's talk about something other than the restaurant, please...' ) it doesn't last long, because she'll interrupt what I'm saying to ask, 'Did I tell you Cedric gave his notice? He's leaving in two weeks, so now I have to find someone to replace him..' So much for my conversation.

And we're back to the restaurant.

I skip coffee and dessert now, to knock off another 30-45 minutes of the restaurant update. As we're walking to our cars in the parking lot, she's still updating me on the restaurant. Then she'll always end with, 'It's so nice when we get together. We have to do it more often - too much time goes by. Let's try to get together once a week.' I answer, 'Sure' and get in my car, thinking - 'see you in a couple of months'.

Ui.

R60 She needs a life.

R62 She sure does. But this is the life she's been in for as long as I've known her.

I know RFK and his minions have no clue how to "cure" autism, but I hate being like this so much I'd be tempted to let them study me.

Rosie O'Donnell says we are all on the autism spectrum.

R60: they have a very narrow focus of interest, everything beyond that does not exist. My brother would call my mother once a week, going on and on about some specific incident in his life, that we might mention in passing quickly, while her eyes glazed over. One night after they'd hung up, she announced "He never asked how I was doing!"

I have a fairly-advanced spectrum neighbor who tries to manage socially, but it's never a great success, unfortunately.

I have some OCD, but that's another story, I believe.

R66 Very true. I know more about her job and the restaurant than I do about my job or the company I work for. She can't stray at all from her little world.

I must say, the only one I have interest in was Cedric. I met him a couple of times last year when I was in the neighborhood and stopped by the restaurant for breakfast a couple of times. When she was sitting me, I asked to be sat in his section. Beautiful Dominican guy with a great body and incredibly handsome face and smile. In conversation, he told me he washed /detailed cars on his days off if I was interested or knew anyone who would be. I made an appointment with him, and he came to my house to wash / detail for $225 (which is reasonable in my area) for a 3 hour job. He did a fine job, and I had a nice conversation with him - which did lead to an interesting conversation of what this cute straight guy would do if the price 'was right', and for me to call him if I was interested in other services (he's focused on making a lot of money before he hits 30 for some reason), but I never did. However, I may call him in a couple of weeks to detail my car again.

I tended to rock back and forth while sitting

R39 - Rock on!

[quote] I tended to rock back and forth while sitting

So do I.

It comforts me!

I was just on a jury trial this week for a rape case. Two of the other jurors announced they were both autistic and also had ADHD, and talked about it incessantly in the jury room.

I was grateful when the judge announced to us we could all go home because the accused exercised his right (under my state's law) to have his case decided by the judge rather than a jury.

Two of the other jurors announced they were both autistic and also had ADHD

Could they have told that to the judge during jury selection to get out of jury duty?

Maybe they could have, r81, but they didn't.

Soothsayer.

I remember when I had my store, back in the mid-2000s there was a college student who worked weekends for me. She was from a very wealthy family, drove a Maserati her parents bought her for her high school graduation, and had handicap plates on the car so she was able to park all day in the handicapped spot on the street close to my store. I was really perplexed by this - I believed it was her car (not her grandparents or parents) yet she had handicap plates (she was physically fine, never talked about a handicap).

So one day, a few months after she started, I asked why she had handicap plates. She told me she was both autistic and had ADHD, so her therapist filled out a form for her saying she was handicap - and she qualified for handicap plates/parking. For some reason, the registry of motor vehicles bought into this and gave her the plates. To this day, 20 years later, I still can't connect the dots on that one. Now when I see a car parked in a handicap spot with the plates on them, I always wonder if the driver of the car is autistic or ADD / ADHD.

If you have autism, you need to make it clear from the beginning. I have no interest in talking to you freaks.

I’m non verbal but I can flip you off.

It sucks and it's very lonely.

Autistics should unite and end their loneliness.