The network is demanding a new Lucille Ball project

*of coming up with a

I don’t have a pitch, but Helen would be perfect for this!

Weekly horror anthology collaboration between Ari Aster and Eli Roth.

The only point of continuity between episodes is when future victims encounter Lucy, smoking a cigarette and scowling, alternating in appearance amongst her most beloved characters, Lucy Ricardo, Florabelle the bag lady, and most frequently, Mame. She’s a foreboding signal to the audience, a harbinger of doom for unfortunate characters. Kind of like Hitchcock’s cameos, but more sinister.

Gale Gordon bookends each episode as the show’s host.

Auntie Mame: The Musical: The Movie: The TV series

It’ll be so meta!

“I, Lesbo Lucy”

All kinds of wacky shenanigans ensue when Lucy comes out as a late in life Sapphic syster.

Uh oh - who misread the menu as “meatloaf” instead of “nutloaf” at MichFest while on kitchen duty? Luuuucy!

Lucy tries to become a feminist folksinger but all she knows is “Oh, Susanna” on the banjo. Special guest star Alix Dobkin.

Sisterhood may be powerful but can Lucy and Ethel’s friendship survive when they both have a crush on the tabouleh factory foreman (Elvia Allman)?

"Lucy In The Sky With Dustin Diamond"

Hijinks abound in the final frontier as astronaut Lucy Winters tries to return to Earth but her clumsy sidekick keeps foiling her plan.

Will Lucille be playing herself in the show?

"Life Support Lucy" - Set entirely in the Cedars-Siani ICU after her aortic aneurism; America's favorite comatose comedienne is attended round the clock by Head Nurse Mary Wickes and Chief of Cardiology Gale Gordon. Bedside, Lucy's two adult children constantly bicker - sensible Lucie wants to pull the plug, but ever the romantic Desi Jr. is convince "mom is nodding and smiling." Special Guest Star Vivian Vance occasionally appears as a Candy-Striper who offers everyone instant coffee.

Situational Bonus - because of the ventilator, Lucy is unable to sing.

Of course not, you moron. She’s dead.

r5: I would SO watch that

DISCO LUCY!!!

Mrs. Lucy Timmons is a widow and recent empty nester who decides to open THE BEST DISCO IN TOWN! Hilarity ensues as Lucy balances running a business and dealing with the polyester leisure suit wearing seniors who are entranced by the disco beat and Lucy, and the youngsters in platforms who just want to cut a rug on the dance floor!

Gale Gordon is Morris the snobby doorman and Vivian Vance plays Gert, Lucy’s wacky bartender trying to figure out what all of those new and crazy disco cocktails the kids of today are drinking!

Special guest stars Pat Harrington Jr., Betty White, Linda Blair, Sian Barbara Allen, Lance Kerwin, Linda Blair and Judith Lowry!

Plus each week a special musical disco star will perform their latest dance smash! This weeks disco star is Vicki Sue Robison singing Turn The Beat Around!

Stoned Pillow

Dropping acid with Lucy and watching that kaleidoscope opening to The Lucy Show and that marionette opening to Here’s Lucy over and over, interspersed with a loop of her famous EEW and WAAAH things, and out of context clips of she and Viv in the shower, Lucy in the freezer, Lucy being lowered from the helicopter and falling off Cornell Wilde’s balcony, Lucy disguised as a chair and the cuckoo clock bit, the egg bit, the twins tying her up, and the burglar tying her up, and the charm school dresses, and the Italian wig flirt scene. Oh and manipulated clips of Lucy manipulating herself and calling for Viv!!!

Too soon, R8.

Wish y'all could hear me laughing at these.

R3, you forgot Sassafrassa!

Lucille Ball is coming back to television on The Golden Girls when she guest stars as Blanche Deveraux’s slutty nice Lucy or Loosey!!!!

Two words...bad clams.

Four out of five comediennes smoke Luckies!

Lucy! A situation comedy about Lucille Adair, an old TV star who is irascible as hell, and everyone is scared of her, including her Jewish Husband, Mel Meyerwitz, a bad comedian, played by Shecky Greene, and her poor former acting partner, Viv, played by Ann Sothern.

HEEEEEEEEEERE'S LUCY!

Set at the Overlook Hotel, the Cardon Family (Lucy, Gale & Lucie) agree to take a winter job being overtakers of the famously haunted inn.

All is not as it seems as Gale is drawn to Room 217 only to discover a dead, naked Vivian Vance taunting him and laughing maniacally driving him to the edge of insanity.

Lucie begins using her index finger to speak in a mysterious voice known only as Desi Jr.

It's been done, OP.

In these uncertain times, I think the public would like to see Lucy as we’ve always known her. Bring back Viv and Mr. Mooney. Bring back her kids. It would give Desi Jr something to do. And bring back the celebrity guests. I’d love to see the Joan Crawford episode redone with Faye Dunaway.

Lucy at Mar-a-Lago

With JD Vance in the Vivian Vance role

You'll love the seeing all the plastic surgery addicts in the Don Loper fashion show

"Up with Lucy"

Lucille Ball plays Lucy Merriweather, a recently widowed former Civil Rights activist, who has packed up her Westport, CT home to spend her sunset years in Port Charlotte, FL, with her unmarried daughter, Hildy, played by Lucie Arnaz, and her teenage children-- lively and flamboyant Kit, and earnest and non-binary Blue.

In the pilot episode, Lucy's tolerance is tested as she reacquaints herself with her daughter and grandchildren, whose life choices perplex her. Hijinks ensue after a series of misunderstandings lead Lucy to believe Hildy is having an illicit relationship with a married neighbor. Later, she butts heads with angry townsfolk and local politicians as she helps Kit put together a drag ball to raise funds for homeless schoolkids.

When Ricky gets deported, Lucy and Ethel must figure out a way to break him out of the prison in El Salvador and get him back to the Tropicana in time for the evening show.

You all need to remember that her character's last name MUST have "AR"......she got her start with "Arnaz," then was "Ricardo," then moved to "Carmichael," followed by "Carter," ending with "Barker."

Lucy Shartface.

"Gary Told Me To"

Sacks

Lucy stars as Debra France, a popular comedian know for funny hats, issues with reclining chairs, and nosy neighbors. Feeling behind the times, she hires writer Ava Vance (played by Vivian Vance) to come up with some new routines that don’t involve lapel flowers that squirt. However, speaking of squirting, both women enter an unlikely lesbian relationship and have loud arguments in restaurants. Viewer discretion advised.

Lucy marries a guy named Brad Goosey. Hilarity ensues.

R26, if she can be Lucy Collins ("Lucy Gets Lucky") or Lucy Whittaker ("Lucy Calls the President"), she can be Lucy Clump in our story ideas.

A gritty backstage drama covering the week at The Lucy Show when Joan Crawford guest-starred. I smell Oscars!

R31. There was something called "Lucy Gets Lucky"?!

House of Lucy

Nighttime soap starring Lucy as a hard-as-nails self-made billionaire

I see a weekly series where Lucy makes some crazy plan or gets some nutty offer and her husband, played by George Lopez, talks her out of it.

The last shot of each episode is Lucy with a black eye and a tooth missing.

Breaking Lucy - you'll love Lucy's wacky meth-dealing antics!

Last-Century Modern: Lucy teams up with Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, and Nathan Lee Graham in a twist on last season's Mid-Century Modern. The guys all play the same characters, but Lucy is Matt Bomer's ex-wife, forced by circumstances to move in with him. Hilarity ensues when Lucy catches Nathan Lee trying on her clothes while she was supposed to be out. Nathan Lane enters and can't tell the two apart. Matt Bomer gets a shit-ton of fan mail saying they now understand why he went gay.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Lucy will be killed off in episode nine.