Im in the waiting room. Furst therapy appt.

Seems like you're doing exactly what you should be doing to address your unhappiness, OP. And I wouldn't be afraid of crying, I'm sure your therapist has seen it before. Good luck, I hope this is the beginning of a turnaround for you!

I've been there --- I remember my hands shaking uncontrollably while I dialed the phone to find a therapist. It will be FINE, and perfectly okay to cry. And I'll share one of the best things.a therapist ever told me: Just because it feels bad doesn't mean it is bad.

OP - You smell like doody and everyone in the waiting room AND the doctor are grossed out.

Get help!

OP, the first meeting is a lot of intake. Who you are, who’s in your family, your history. It’s quite painless and oddly comforting as you talk about yourself.

Good luck. It's a good step.

You'll do just fine, Your Highness.

Furst? Oh DEER!

Keine Sorge, Fürst – die Fürsorge für Prinzen ist die gleiche wie die für das gemeine Volk, nur dass der Bezug des Sofas aus echtem Leder ist.

Dude. Get a grip. You get ONE chance at this amazing thing called life and yes there are ups and downs. But you MUST be strong. And YOU make that choice.

Kurfürsten - damn! Liebchen pull yourself together.

Nothing to be afraid of, if they're good they'll put you at your ease. Hope it helps you OP X

R9 is Orpah Winney.

be honest or it's a waste of time and money

OP, hopefully this will be your first step towards the psych ward.

1st Rule of Therapy:

1. ALWAYS BE HONEST. NEVER TELL A LIE IN THERAPY.

AMEN R14-

We support you OP!

Most therapists are mediocre at best. Seriously, the AI Chatbots (Grok, Gemini, GhatGPT and yes DeepSeek) all are VERY sophisticated in helping you sort out the nuances of your issues. They are free and you direct the conversation by simply typing in feelings. It is like having 10,000 therapists in the room and all the experience of dealing with millions of pretty much the same types of mental challenges you're holding.

Try it.

Echoing what R13 said … don’t slide into the trap of trying to please your therapist, just get as absolutely honest as you can. That’s what the 1:1 professional is there for, and earning $$ for. It can be helpful, even profoundly helpful. Xo!

I hope you feel free to cry and say whatever you need to say in your therapy. That's what it's for! Your therapist won't be inconvenienced by your emotions, in fact he/she will be better serviced by your not holding back. Congratulations on choosing this path to a better life. I hope it works for you as it has for me.

I wonder what percent of AI chat sessions are either medical or psychological/self help in nature. A big percentage of my interactions are along these lines

OP, If you end up in jail or a rubber room and there is doo-doo (feces) on the walls-

You are home!

Good luck OP.

Please don't expect miracles out of one session. It will take several sessions for you to begin to have clarity. In those first few sessions, you may leave sessions feeling bad because the therapist's questions and analysis has opened up old wounds or old memories for you. It's necessary to open some old boxes, so to speak, to properly deal with and sort out those issues.

OP. What, exactly, are you scared of?

It should be just a conversation.

Run if the therapist pulls out a syringe, especially if you see a bathtub full of ice.

If your therapist comes at you with a skewer and a pick hammer - run!

Good for you, OP.

And it's okay to cry, especially in therapy. Don't feel bad about it and definitely don't hold your emotions in therapy. Let it out, that's what they're there for.

Relax. Put your full faith and trust in me.

I'm not a therapist but I have learned one thing about coping and that's to take any strong feelings you have and stuff them way down deep inside you so that you can never access them. Alcohol and drugs help but that's temporary. A therapist will try to get you to talk about what you're feeling and that's why everyone blathers about being traumatized nowadays ad nauseam. Therapists just want your money. Run!

OP, whatever you do, don't do ANY of what R28 suggests!

100% agreed w/ the folks about being honest. I can't help but lie to other people because I value my objective comfort over any subjective truth, so therapy is completely useless for me. I can't trust other humans, therapists included. Why would I put effort into doing anything they ask me to? Yikes.

Yes, OP, completely ignore R28 and anyone in your life who sounds like them. They are the problem.

The first therapist I went to lasted two or three sessions. He would do the occasional "and ...", "So?", etc. but otherwise I did 99% of the talking "free form." Went on to a much more involved guy for a year or so.

R32 I've had a therapist or two like that, too.

I totally get that the therapist isn't supposed to be a super involved director, but more of a guide that gently questions or prompts you into getting to the core of an issue on your own.

But there's a balance in there somewhere, and some are too disinterested or disaffected.

My last therapist was phenomenal. Just kind, warm and I built so much trust with him.

R29 R31

FFS I can't believe I have to put /sarcasm next to my posts. I thought Strangers With Candy was more recognized here.

I've tried therapy. I didn't last long. I just couldn't seem to put into words what I needed to talk about. Couldn't get it out of my right brain. I think part of it was I was unimpressed with the therapists I tried. They should have been able to help me express what was wrong but none of them even tried, which made me even more reticent.

Sometimes sensitive and compassionate friends can do all or most of the work that a therapist does, without the expense. But many people are unable to expose their deepest fears and most painful memories with friends. (That takes a great deal of trust and many people who need therapy have come from backgrounds where trust has been betrayed). So I can understand why OP was scared. By now, if this was a real post, he's been through his first appt. I hope it reassured him.

No matter how great friends are, they will always bring their own perspectives, biases and wishes to any conversation or advice.

Can I have your stuff?

I hope R28 is joking.

R39 I know you are scared but you’ve taken the first step. It’s always kind of awkward at first with lots of questions.

Get a blog

The fear and turmoil isn’t about therapy or the therapist. It’s about how you feel about yourself, presenting your true self to other people, etc. Feeling unworthy of attention, being ashamed of yourself, feeling incapable without ant future, this is why you feel unhappy. These are all thoughts in your head, OP, a way you’ve been conditioned to see yourself, probably by your parents.

You’re in the right place. Keep going. Your therapist should be capable of empathy. You should feel safe there - not better - but safe, so you can do the work you need to do. If not, you may need to find another therapist. But whatever you feel about them, talk to them about it. If you feel disappointed or uncared for or like it isn’t working - tell them that. Talk about it. This is the work. Therapy isn’t an advice session. It’s a process. What you’re experiencing with them, is often the nature of and how you form relationships with other people, etc. For instance, if you go for two sessions and think you’re done, you probably use people and aren’t very interested in others, etc. You’re probably in denial.

I referred a friend to a therapist once, years ago. She told me she went once, did what she needed to do, cried and was done with it. Twenty-five years later she’s still a nut case, kind of arrested in her development because she’s never dealt with her mother’s death at a young age, other than to use it as an excuse for all her own failings, and to make other people feel guilty and compete with them. Therapy isn’t a massage. It’s a process. You define it. You generate the material. At the beginning of each session, you need to take however long you need and locate the moment, locate what you’re feeling in the moment and start there. It’s not a soap opera. It’s not episodic. If your therapist is suggesting material at the top of the session or telling you where to start or what to talk about, consider finding a new therapist. The material comes from you. Not them.

Hope all that helps. Stay in it. Do the work. It’s an investment in yourself, your future. It’s about realising your full potential.