Hot Gays Body Image And Comparison

Based off what I watched, the guy just seems upset that he doesn’t fit in with the “hot gay” scene. He talks about being awkward, nerdy, not in shape, and not popular in high school — and now he feels like he’s still on the outside looking in.

The thing is, that group he’s trying to be part of — the muscle gays with abs, money, Fire Island shares, and matching swim trunks — that’s just one type of gay crowd. And yeah, they get a lot of attention, but they’re not the whole community. A lot of people don’t even want to be part of that scene because it can feel fake or shallow.

He described himself as a nerdy gay as if there’s not nerdy gay groups in NYC. He just didn’t want to be apart of that scene because he didn’t think it was glamorous enough for him.

And honestly, I don’t knock the gays he’s talking about either.

A lot of them grew up with money, had supportive parents, some played sports, some were even popular in high school or pulled off being closeted in high school. That kind of background gave them confidence, social skills, and a look that still works for them today.

Not everyone had that. A lot of us were weird kids, we were bullied, awkward, had families that didn’t get us, we didn’t understand ourselves, came out late and just didn’t have access to that world.

So you’re an outsider to that world, you can’t be mad you’re being left out of it.

It annoys me when people talk about international travel like it's an elite activity that only the rich can afford. I went to Europe twice a year when I had a job at an airport parking lot in my twenties. That guy should save up $3,000 and go to Greece if the lack of travel is making him feel bad about his life.

He's kinda cute in an average way. Does the datalounge agree?

This guy has a very different concept than I do about what constitutes a HOT guy.

I've always liked best- good looking SLIM guys with natural bodies- not muscular and not bear. Those types are not easy to find nowadays because most people today are either FAT or MUSCULAR or both.

There is in inherent visual repulsion to images like this because it combines hypermasculine attributes (hair, big muscles, tattoos) with inherently female characteristics (colorful bikini bottoms, excessive smiling, arms around each other)

The visual language of masculine desirability is rooted in the solitary male: Narcissus, Adonis, St. Sebastian, Michelangelo’s David, Bruce Weber’s Tom Hintaus ad for Calvin Klein, Herb Ritts’s Fred with Tires.

Female beauty is more commonly presented in group settings: the harem, Ingres’ odalisques, Cezanne and Matisse’s bathers, Las Vegas showgirls, “Beautiful Girls” from Follies, Peter Lindbergh’s photos of “The Group”.

Should read “facial hair, big muscles…”

Here, a visual

Note how Cézanne’s bathers appear in a vagina-like clearing while Fred With Tires recreates a penis and two testicles

[quote] There is in inherent visual repulsion to images like this because it combines hypermasculine attributes (hair, big muscles, tattoos) with inherently female characteristics (colorful bikini bottoms, excessive smiling, arms around each other)

?

These images combine hypermasculine signifiers (muscles, body hair, tattoos) with visual codes historically associated with femininity and camp—like:

• Synchronized posing

• Colorful or “playful” garments (animal prints, neon bikini bottoms)

• Exaggerated smiling and physical affection (arms around each other)

This dissonance creates an aesthetic uncanny valley, where the visual signals are mismatched. Instead of amplifying eroticism, they short-circuit it. It’s not that muscles aren’t erotic, but that their arrangement in a convivial, almost chorus-line display, echoes feminine-coded group imagery, which traditionally exists for heterosexual male consumption—not for male-male desire.

R9 girl go open a dictionary and look up inherent and then the difference between female and feminine. Also saying a line up of men is feminine and then using a Bruce Weber pic as a reference of what’s masculine seems a little something haha.

Oh, you’re one of those.

R9- The way you word things comes off as sounding a bit pretentious but I'm laughing at what you're say too and I like what you're saying.

The muscles and excessive smiling and sameness of the skimpy bathing suits etc doesn't come across as either heterosexual nor masculine.

R11 no I just like things to be worded correctly. There’s nothing “inherently” female about any colour, or smiling, or being in a group. Society has appointed certain colours to certain gender or sex groups so you could say bright colours or pink are “culturally feminine” but not inherently female, female relates to biology, feminine relates to objects associated with female people. You sound stupid when you say those things. Also there’s nothing “hypermasculine” about tattoos, or body hair, they’re just standard masculine (tattoos even atp I would say are genderless but up for debate).

Even what you say about being photographed solitarily, as if military / sporting lineup / lockerroom etc photos don’t exist and haven’t been a mainstay of male body desire imagery for centuries by now. You come across as dumb sorry!

He needs to reorient his whole psyche. A lot of gay men do. Find attractiveness in numerous 5s, 6s and 7s out there. Find it. You’re one of them. And we are all slowly aging; hotness is ephemeral even among the hot. And all of this is not a tragedy.

Let the sad ghost of Bob Bergeron be a cautionary tale.

R1 he does round out the conversation more if you listen to the entire thing. And I have to ask, was the use of "apart" instead of "a part" an intentional reference to the infamous Trevor Donovan post?

R13

A) you are hella autistic

B) “Even what you say about being photographed solitarily, as if military / sporting lineup / lockerroom etc photos don’t exist and haven’t been a mainstay of male body desire imagery for centuries by now. You come across as dumb sorry!”

Even the vernacular of gay pornography favors stone-faced solitary men.

R17 I’m not autistic. I’m just pointing out that you don’t understand the meaning of the words you’re using, to the point that what you’re writing makes no sense.

Obviously headshots for porn are going to be single people in a photo. How do you function in everyday life? You’re presenting objects that are to your taste and acting like those are the only objects that exist, and the way you deal with any critique of your half assed logic is by saying anyone saying so is autistic or non-binary. Get a fucking grip lol.

Life isn’t a dick measuring contest.

I think we don't recognise ourselves in the group and imagine being rejected by them...not allowed in the pic.

Like when you see a photo of Trumpettes, you know you just don’t belong.

He needs to get off the apps, etc. Cause he's cute and I'd hang out and potentially fuck around with him.

Actually only a small percentage of gays are actually hot and muscular, but they take up all the oxygen in the room. In fact, even on Fire Island and Ptown, only a small percentage are like these but many think everyone must be so are afraid to even go.

The problem is even he likely fawns over the 9’s and 10’s and rejects the 5’s. He’s part of the problem