I got called a pick me gay

This person is a former friend, so why should you care? Move on...

I've been called worse.

Perhaps you misheard, they were probably calling you a Pigmy gay.

Maybe he called you a pig meat gay.

I went to Panera and they called me a You Pick Two gay.

This is so interesting.

If you expect to be praised for not being a "yass kween" then you are a pick-me gay. Your former friend is right to criticize you. I hope he's getting some primo cock right now.

R7 Who said I asked to be praised? I’m just saying that’s why he criticized me.

Did you have a visible booger?

Maybe you had a sign on your back, and he was alerting you you’re a “Kick Me” gay (?)

The fact that you used those words to describe femmy gays tells me that you have contempt for people like that and you're a little proud of not being like them.

Very basic pick-me attitude.

OT: I think the “pick me” designation is a strange one. Doesn’t everyone want to be picked?

I mean… do you know people who DON’T desire approval?

Ive never heard this term. Im surmising it means a gay who tries to look straight? Or is it a gay who alters his personality/image depending on who hes in company with? Can someone explain.

R12 I think the designation is entirely appropriate - it conjures the image of the kid in class whose hand shoots straight up in the air whenever the teacher ask a question: "Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!"

Obviously most people desire approval from others; its the degree to which some people need it and the lengths they'll go to get it which is problematic.

OP you self owned. Your ex BFF's characterisation is correct. A "pick me" refers to someone who behaves in a way that screams, “Pick me! Choose me! I’m not like the others!” - often by trying to gain approval from a dominant group.

A “pick-me gay” is a gay man who: distances himself from other gay men or gay LGBT culture to appeal to straight people (especially straight men) or mainstream acceptance. Might emphasize how “normal,” “masc,” “low drama,” or “not like those other gays” he is. May seek validation from outside gay circles, sometimes at the expense of that community.

Examples of “pick-me gay” behavior, in which you obviously indulge: saying things like “I don’t hang out with other gay guys—they’re too much drama.” "I'm not a Yass Queen!" Trolling online seeking to normalise your spineless judgment of others.

100% self own. Pathetic.

Also your x bff, behind your back, calls you a dim-witted dreary and unfuckable pick me gay.

Ignore R7/R11/15. You be you, OP. You don't have to be a stereotype in any direction.

A “‘normal-masc-non-flaming” gay has been a stereotype since the 90s. Let me guess, you especially don’t like Pride parades and need to be “discrete” (sic).

I sound fake af op, maybe that's why

I have been called an “Elf on a Shelf Gay”.

I haven’t been given any names, or titles[bold] : (

I know the feeling. There’s no truly comfortable place in life for people who aren’t maximalists, for true introverts. Someone always wants attention. They’ll call you anything under the sun to provoke a reaction that they can then react to, on and on. It never ends.

“Pick me, I’m not a whore with painted toenails !”

Are you sure he didn't say, pocket-gay?

I pick me! I choose me! Everyone else can fuck right off!

*dramatic turn and walks away from camera

Every minority group does this. Trashy uneducated Black people call professional well educated Black people who can speak proper English acting white or Oreo. Asian people call other Asian people who act “too white“ whitewashed or banana. Flaming queens call gay men who act relatively normal sellouts of some sort. It’s always the same story, and at the end of the day it’s probably some sort of resentment tied to professional success. You generally don’t reach the higher levels of the corporate world by acting ghetto, acting like a flaming queen, etc.

Being uninterested in gay clichés is not a character flaw.

I find it sad that the lesbian and gay community does not embrace Pick Me Gays. Even a person of beige aura is valuable and deserves love and praise.

Very sad.

What do they say about you behind your back?

That you rushed to DL to regale us with your horrifying tale of being called a pick me gay in a way underscores the point.

I got called a whore! I only had an open door at the Days Inn twice this week.

I'd never heard the term, but after reading all the Yass Queen comments, I'm now glad I qualify !

F*ck the girly drama attention whores !

I have noticed “pick me” is a go-to accusation used by insecure, lazy and jealous people

I can pick my own scabs thank you.

Yeah the "yass queen" thing in the OP was a giveaway.

Some of my friends say I'm not stereotypically gay but I've never been called a 'pick me' either, because I don't give a fuck how others act. As long as someone is themselves then it's fine by me.

I had a friend who was picked on for being gay in his early teens. I don't think he even knew himself if he was gay or not, but he had a higher pitched voice than the other guys. That's why I hate it when pick me gays or homophobes say shit like "ugh they just put on that queeny voice for attention" because I think of my friend in his early teens. If he could have done, he'd have spoken differently, but that was just how he naturally was.

Well, maybe ya are, Blanche. It’s not the end of the world.

[quote]R26 Flaming queens call gay men who act relatively normal sellouts of some sort. It’s always the same story

I’m of a certain age, and have never heard this “story” / line of criticism.