Lauren Sanchez IS The Bachelorette (in Paris)

She’s so gross.

Paris is so basic bitch. I love Paris - lived there. But it really is the dream destination of every basic bitch in the US.

That woman has a *lot* of taste. Unfortunately it's bad.

Is her nickname Jugs?

Not since 1940 has Paris suffered as horrible an invasion as this one.

Did she get those tits on Amazon Prime?

I thought Juggs Magazine was about porcelain and pottery. Boy was i wrong.

"The coterie got together for a dinner at the iconic Lafayette’s Restaurant, with a menu consisting of fried chicken, Norwegian smoked salmon, and mushroom rigatoni"

What? Nothing screams Paris like fried chicken for dinner at Lafayette's! (it's not on the menu - I checked).

And why would you pair that with smoked salmon and mushroom rigatoni? Am I the only one weirded out by this?

R6 - She may have bought them on Prime, but her prime is far in the rearview mirror.

Bringing not only fried chicken to Paris but the height of Maga fashion. Cleavage, ostrich plumes and extreme decotellage with a tractor cap.

Such dull writing, even by "Tatler" standards. Sorry about that. Barring the Instagram reference, it could have been written in 1935, 1965, or 1985. AI could do a better job (then again, it probably *was* AI).

Id feel safe flying with her, or traveling by boat. She must have enough CCs to keep a dozen men afloat.

It sounds God Awful. What a heinous, mismatched menu. Couldn't she have had real French food and learned something?

That pre-wedding party pic looks... well worn.

“Glamorous”? Either Tatler has shifted its upper class focus or this whole article is shade.

“With Kim herself commenting praise for the journalist” - this could have been lifted straight from the Mail Online’s intern “journalist” days, before they switched entirely to AI.

The article is almost certainly all shade.

[quote]With Kim herself commenting praise for the journalist

Translated from the Chinese

I swear to muthafukin god she has a penis.

It's so strange to me that of all the women Bezos could have, he'd pick this loud, plastic, nightmare.

There are untold numbers of hotter women who are far less trashy.

I can only imagine that the thing I think is a flaw is actually the key benefit for being with her for him.

Was Lady Nicolas there???

Did they compare nipple size? I know Lauren specifically requested this.

I guess I'll post the spanking, since nobody else wants to.

R18 - my theory is Jeff had midlife crisis, getting older - he wants to see what his money can get in terms of sex and other things. Mackenzie was't down with that.

Lauren is highly connected in Hollywood (ex was CEO of biggest talent agency) - she can introduce him to tons of stars AND she allows him to play around with other women (or men).

They both have the 'sexy' swinger couple vibe for sure. It's too over the top - they're advertising that they're open to others.

For a former nerd like Bezos - THIS is the life - tons of sex, hobnobbing with celebrities, and all that comes with it. Mackenzie certainly would not do ANY of this.

She is such a trashy whore.

Tacky, tasteless, and just too much

Love the photos I’ve seen of her exposing her armpit… allowing you to view her breast implant scar lol.

R21 “toned beach body” lifted straight from the Mail Online journalism style guide. At least Page Six didn’t refer to “bikini body”, “ample assets” or “TINY Daisy Dukes”.

Apparently, cheek implants are a requirement for the Paris trip. Every woman in those IG pix has them.

R5 for the win!

Mother Jugs on Speed

She went to El Camino College. That’s the local community college for the South Bay Area in LA. The dearest of the brain dead and slow learners of my high school found a home there. Apparently she went on to “study communications” at USC…sounds about right.

Though, she did get to fuck Tony Gonzalez for a while who was a college basketball star (at Berkeley) before becoming an NFL legend. She gets +1 for that.

[quote]spending 11 minutes up through the atmosphere with the likes of Katy Perry and Gayle King

What an embarrassment.

R22 theory makes sense as to why he's with this trashy heaux. I couldn't figure it out. He can buy a much better wife.

The woman pictured in OP is Kim K. She and Sanchez look very similar. And the menu is indeed revolting. So much trash at one party.

Just imagine the collective eyebrow raises amongst the average Parisian at this bunch of trashy basic American whores shovelling fried chicken into their mouths at Lafayette’s.

If they get the jewelry all oily with chicken grease it deters chain snatchers.

Yep, good old-fashioned anti-Americanism is back in Europe, alas, and pretending to be Canadian no longer works. Put those Canada Douche jackets away!

R8 all those items are on an older menu attached to the restaurant’s Google Maps, which the reporter likely copied from. These bitches prefer their carbs in the form of champagne.

You were likely looking at the menu of another venue.

I think you’re right r22

His ex was a class act

Was this a hen do or a humanitarian mission to liberate Paris? Either way, give Lauren Sánchez an award

The hemlines were high and the diamonds hefty as the world’s second-richest fiancee and her entourage stormed the Seine. Formez vos bataillons!

To Cannes, in the country of France, where last night Jeff Bezos’s fiancee, Lauren Sánchez, got what she deserves: a philanthropy award. Lauren was honoured at something called the Global Gift Gala, where she received the women empowerment award for her commitment to climate justice, social justice and coming off at absolutely all times as a woman who refers to her breasts as “my girls”. Regular readers will know I have a huge amount of time for her. She accepted her gong wearing a necklace with a diamond pendant slightly larger than an Amazon warehouse, once again redrawing the blueprint that other humanitarians will simply need to watch and learn from.

In other words, she has no real friends.

Ha! That gala was at La Môme’s beach club. That club is overdone, but their restaurant on Rue Florian is quite fun—the food and service are excellent.

R38 I love a good Marina Hyde shredding! Hilarious!

That was my first thought, r39. It's like when Britney Spears invited Madonna to her wedding.

Trashy hos

Born in 1969 as the middle child of eight children to a single mother who cleaned homes for wealthier New Mexicans, Lauren Gwendolyn Sanchez would struggle with her looks until a visit from the Titty Fairy in 1982 changed the trajectory of her life. Subsequent visits from various plastic surgeons and a career holding phallic symbols by her mouth would lead the way to her becoming one of the richest whores known to man.

On this day we celebrate you.

Middle of 8? That’s one neat trick in birth order.

Marina Hyde writes as only the ugly duckling cousin in the extended family can.

Does Jeff carry a bicycle pump in case one of Lauren's tits gets a flat?

She's take that as a compliment, R46

*She'd

[quote]In other words, she has no real friends.

This is probably true.

Kim K and her mother Pimp Momma Kris don’t show up to events like this unless they’re being paid or able to merch the event for cash.

Kris Jenner is a savvy woman. The payment for herself and Kim in this case is Keeping Up With The Bezos.

As for Katy Perry, unless they’re angling for a threesome with Orlando, I don’t see the appeal.

Re: Bezos relationship. She's the boss and he loves it.

Having Katy Perry at an event is one step above Meghan Markle.

I don’t know about that. Meghan Markle has yet to claim that she puts the “ass in astronaut”.

I will NOT hate her. If I were an aging, over-the-hill, fifty-something former sex bomb with grown children and a multi-billionaire begging to adore, marry and pamper me I would eat that sh*t like Chrissy Metz diving into a trough of Chicken and Waffles. I would not want to appear refined or cultured or classy, I would make Marie Antoinette look like Joan of Arc. I would be a MONSTER.

Lauren Sanchez is living MY best life.

lol at r55

I think after a while it would get old and you’d want to do something worthwhile. But, then it look at the Kardashian and they have lived vapid lives for decades

Then you too are trash r55. But by the sound of it, it’s a title you’re comfortable with.

I fail to see how getting married at City Hall and donating $10 million to charity, as suggested upthread, is “doing something worthwhile”. She’s been a member of the workforce for decades.

Show me where I mentioned “doing something worthwhile” R38 - the quotation marks are yours - because I didn’t.

Is Lauren wants to impress us, she can stop acting like a vapid 14-year-old and maybe use her time and energy to help the world, convincing her greedy, amoral fiance to use his cash to help make the world better.

Oh, my sides!