Skin-tightening or plumping creams that work?

Lay off the booze, lose ten pounds and get a decent haircut.

Have you tried jizz OP? I've heard it doesn't help.

Get a plasma separation OP.

What do you look like OP? Do you drink lots of water?

r4 Pretty good - and yes, lots of water, but I suppose I can always drink more!

I don't look any older than anyone else, really - just pointless vanity at work!

r3 Is that the Vampire Facial?

Micro needling will help stimulate collagen production.

If you are just looking for a temporary cream, Insta-tox can tighten some wrinkles for a few hours.

Lots of hard alcohol the night before will give you a rosy complexion and puffy bloat

Preparation H.

Low molecular weight hyaluronic acid. Cheaper versions will do the trick as well. It will plump up your skin on the day of the event, although you can use it before that also. You can use a sheet mask containing it overnight, so it traps as much water as possible. And hydrate with plain water, which you should be doing anyway, not just because of your skin.

For deep lines on the forehead, you could use the Snap-8 peptide. It only works as long as you're using it. Or you could use a cream with lots of collagen to optically fill those lines.

If there's still time, you could order marine collagen capsules. I shit you not, you see the effects within two days. It suddenly feels like you're washing a baby's tooshie when you're washing your face. Shaves five to ten years off you.

No one expects you to look great.

OP, Elizabeth Bathory’s method is foolproof.

Do it.

The plasma separation is a very traumatic process to the body!

OP Do you want to turn up like Helen at her book launch, looking killer and knocking all your old enemies dead?

OP, I think the best you can do is to keep taking that jizz on your face and try not to wear out your knees at the glory hole.

Also, if you leave your teeth at home that glory hole action will be good for your gum health. Just a thought.

Take the potion OP.

R12 would be my answer.

A hyaluronic cream at the grocery store will help short term. Also you can buy some red light therapy sessions somewhere - but you'll need to go 3-4 times a week for about 3 weeks.

Long term - take daily collagen powder (dissolves in liquids) and oral hyaluronic acid supplements. But it will take a few weeks to see the difference.

R12 What brand Marine Collagen capsules do you recommend?

Buy a glycolic or lactic acid peel from Amazon. The brand Perfect Image makes some decent options. Do the peel a week before the event, and make sure to wash it off after 5-8 minutes if it's a higher percentage, as you risk chemical burns otherwise. Your skin may have some peeling in the days following but it's worth it.

I micro needle with a Dr. Pen every 6 weeks or so, and that definitely keeps wrinkles away, which someone else suggested here. But you can try a cheaper "stamp" type of device to get a similar result. Microneedling is certainly not painless, however, regardless of the tool used to do it.

Oh, and also starve yourself and don't drink alcohol for couple of weeks beforehand. Save the drinking for the event itself, where the lack of any alcohol intake prior will quickly lead to belligerence and comedy.

R22 - yo - 5-8 minutes is a LONG time for a beginner. I'd say start with 3 mins. 8 minutes??? That's hardcore.

Also stab yourself in the face with a machete for about 60-90 minutes-

That will get the collagen moving and get you plumped!

Come see me...

Insert yet another Death Becomes Her reference here.

Strivectin neck firming cream is fantastic Vital Proteins collagen in your coffee every morning, 2 scoops

How about a nice collagen buff?