I don't think people do all the things they say they do in the Times' "How I Spend My Sunday" articles

SUNDAY STROLL We were thinking we’d go down to the park, but it was so windy by the time we got to the corner of Atlantic and Hicks. We had a nice little walk on the Promenade. The girls played. They climb everything they can manage. We got home around 2:30 or 3 p.m.

BOOK BREAK I read with Eta. We read a story from “The Big Pink Book,” we call it. It’s Tomi Ungerer, a facsimile of Tomi Ungerer stories. Then we read by ourselves. I’m reading “Kitchen.” It’s a Japanese novel, and it’s very quirky and sensitive. Eta was reading a graphic novel by Raina Telgemeier, and Lowe was doing homework in my bedroom. We read for probably 45 minutes or an hour until 4 p.m.

SUNDAY ROAST We had a really nice meal. I started on dinner, and everybody else just kept playing and hanging out. I made roast chicken, roast veggies, potatoes, carrots, brussels sprouts — a nice, big Sunday roast. We had dinner around 5 p.m.

MOVIE NIGHT Right after dinner, we left all of our plates and went to BAM for a movie. We saw “The Legend of Ochi,” which was unbelievably good. It was completely magical. It’s about a young girl that meets a creature that is a misunderstood beast, and they become connected. It was lovely, a coming-of-age tale. It’s an A24 film, and I think they’re improving Western cinema so much.

PLAYTIME The movie ended at about 8:30 p.m. Everyone was so excited that I thought they might fall asleep on the way home in the car, but we were just talking nonstop and trying to do the Ochi sound. We got home more riled up than was helpful, and then the girls showered and went straight to bed. We didn’t do our usual reading routine because it was already 9 p.m. I get up at 6 a.m. to do school routines every morning during the week, so I’m usually in bed by 10 p.m. on a Sunday, if not before.

I don't believe this made-up SHIT for one minute.

She makes scones, then they go out for pancakes and waffles and a family lunch.? And then they eat dinner at 5? Three meals between 10 and 5?

What do you want from a fat whore, r3?

Unless this bitch has nannies, with two little girls, there's no way she'd get them bathed, dressed, and out the door before noon. And according to this article, she's already had her tea and scones, played with the kids, and headed to the diner by 10:00 am, even though she didn't get out of bed until 8:30.

Yeah, right. Cue eyeroll.

Facebook syndrome: Life minus the fights, the misery, the bloodletting, the general savagery

Wait, people make stuff up or exaggerate online? That’s not nice.

Up next: the NYT goes to a greasy spoon diner in Bumfucke, Ohio to ask methed out, toothless, yet very real Americans, how they spend their Sundays.

Lots of people get up at 6:30 and get their kids and themselves fed, dressed and out the door by 8:00 M-F. Why can’t she do that in an hour and a a half on a Sunday?

The posts are obviously tailored to create a certain impression and, as R3 points out, the amount of eating is the biggest misstep in the fakery. But the overall level of activity for someone with two young kids isn’t unrealistic. Not at all.

R9 You don't have kids, do you?

The creation of such an idyllic, conflict-free day is ridiculous.

Erma Bombeck, may she rest in peace, was a great demystifier of this perfect family shit.

Here's how I'm spending my Sunday:

6:00 am - Woke up because I needed to pee. Went to the bathroom. Peed. Came back to bed and went back to sleep.

8:15 am - My dogs woke me up because it was their breakfast time. Let them out in the backyard to do their business.

8:30 am - Fed the dogs.

8:45 am - Made myself a cup of coffee.

9:00 am - Plopped my ass down on the couch. Opened my laptop and checked in on Datalounge. Found this thread.

The following is my projected plans for the rest of the day.

10:00 am - Take my morning poop.

10:15 am - Continue scrolling Datalounge and other websites.

11:00 am - Wrap up some work I should have finished on Friday, but was too lazy to do.

12:30 pm - Eat lunch - leftover take-out ramen from Friday night.

1:00 pm - Finish the work from 11:00 am that I didn't wrap up because I was still procrastinating. Turn the TV to a baseball game and let it play in the background.

2:00 pm - Do a few household chores - laundry, dishes, etc.

3:30 pm - Finally take a shower.

5:00 pm - Hop on a weekly Zoom call with a group of college friends. We started these calls during the pandemic and have made them regular weekly events since then.

6:30 pm - Eat dinner with my family.

7:00 pm - Plop my ass on the couch and scroll Datalounge some more. Maybe watch some TV or read a book.

11:00 pm - Go to bed.

Where's my goddamn NYT feature?

The real question is: why would anyone bother to read this stupid weekly feature?

Nobody has "really good gluten-free pancakes".

White people are so predictable

R13 You might browse it if you're looking for a new place to eat or an activity to do in your area, but this woman is a horrible writer. Everything is "good" and she's so bland in her descriptions that she offers the reader no incentive or enticement to want to do anything she does or go anywhere she goes.

[quote] The girls are good about letting me sleep in on Sundays.

[quote] They make really good, gluten-free pancakes, and they have really good country, thick bacon.

[quote] We stayed for a good hour and a half.

Good God.

The reality was somewhat different.

If her timeline for making tea, eating scones, playing with the kids, and getting out the door to the diner is just an hour and a half, that can only mean one thing.

No one in that family showers.

Blech.

R12

r17 Some people shower at night. I used to think it was gross, but I now do that versus a morning shower (excluding if I worked out or something). Over the course of sleeping at night, you won't be smelly or gross.

You just know she pronounces it "skawn".

How many carbs does this family eat? Scones, pancakes, waffles..

I know her from her time as a buyer at McNally Jackson Books. She went later partnered with Sarah McNally the store owner to open a Goods for the Study store. If there was ever a “Cuntessa of New York” competition, it would be a neck and neck race between these two.

They always remind me of a book William F. Buckley shat out in the 80s called "Overdrive," which was basically a ridiculous vanity piece about how fabulous and hyperprogrammed his daily life was.

Narcissistic people love to tell you about how busy they are so they feel they are doing something with their lives.

I assume people include things they did once or twice over the last few years and compile them into a single day. Like last Tuesday, when my grandmother died, I went to a Bjork concert, deadheaded some zinnias and flew to Honolulu.

I know someone who was featured in this column a few years ago. He said they take a composite of various activities he and his family do on Sundays and in no way was it a typical day.

This woman’s shop is beyond twee—the white organic cotton Marie Antoinette nightgown!

Her commentary reminds me of the dog diary in the classic dog vs cat diary (linked below):

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM – Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

PS The cat diary is much funnier

Coming Next Week: The Sunday Diary of An Extremely Handsome And Extremely Energetic Homosexual Sex Maniac

r26: even funnier is Roz Chast's "Diary of a Cat" from a New Yorker cartoon from years and years ago.

R17 They probably also didn't brush their teeth.

I wonder if she's ever bothered GPS tracking flower-loving Carson's "morning routine" run...

R14 she’s not white, she’s Indian.

She sells some ugly shit.

R22, please feel free to elaborate.

R31 She's VERY white adjacent. And, yeah, she sceams Cuntessa.

Those clothes all look like shit from the SisterWives Collection available at your finer upscale Mormon boutiques.

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