Valerie Bertinelli reflects on 'emotionally excruciating' past 8 months

Even the Darfur Orphan pities the struggles of Our Gal Val.

Barbara is EXHAUSTING!

What’s she gonna do, go on a diet?

Mac Phillips is starting to look perfectly mentally healthy by comparison with this bitch.

[quote]the actress joined The Drew Barrymore Show as a lifestyle expert

Would you take lifestyle advice from her? She sounds like a mess.

Her divorce, EVH death, her weight, her mental struggles...doesn't this tiresome bitch have anything else to talk about?

[quote] the actress joined The Drew Barrymore Show as a lifestyle expert

I was surprised by this, too.

It sounds like Drew did her a big favor, after Valerie got fired from the Food Network.

And yet she's still complaining....

I liked her Food Network show. You'd never be able to tell she was such a mess. I wonder why they canned her.

Why was she sacked from Food Network? I didn't watch her cooking show(s), but I did enjoy her on the Kids' Baking Championship.

Oh ffs just enjoy your money and shove off, Val.

Does this bitch ever watch the news or read a newspaper?

She could learn to live one day at a time…Sweet Jesus. I haven’t suffered from this much over-sharing since McKenzie Phillips.

Val hopes that she’s dead before a Van Halen biopic is released. If it does happen, she hopes that Selena Gomez plays her as Val thinks she would be “amazing”.

Thank god for the update, it's been gut wrenching not knowing her mental health status.

In a month, she'll be back in another relationship and telling everyone how she's in love again and so incredibly happy!

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Adults making a big to-do over a birthday seems silly, I get going out with a couple of friends.

What is this, The Daily Frau?

"Also in today's issue: how is Chrissy Metz adjusting to life in Nashville? Plus: See why Hoda Kotb is loving retirement!"

DAMNIT BARBARA!!!!!!

Sad last days for her. I offer my thoughts and prayers.

Oh no!! This should be her new sitcom.

I didn't slap her enough, did I?

Yeah lifestyle expert on What Not To Do.

Those cheek implants. Like a clown doll.

r23...I'm sure you're joking.

Those aren't cheek implants. She's always had quite chubby cheeks. ALWAYS.

EVH and Val were both cute when they were young. Too bad Wolfi didn't take after them. He got the least attractive features of both...particularly Val's weight issues.

You would think she'd share some Weight Watchers tips with Wolfie. She was their spokesperson ffs.

This woman is so tiresome. Who cares about her drama?

DRAMA

Can she not retire?

She's 65.

Isn't there a spot at the Hollywood Motion Picture Home she can claim?

The bitch's gigantic head is more horizontal than vertical.

R30 Yes, she has to pass through doorways sideways.

She even gets passed up for her son!

R30 don’t be jelly because she’s a hot babe

It took a while but I now believe David Lee Roth.

Our Gal Val... alone with her thoughts, which disturb her, which she should talk to a therapist about (or just push aside and get on with a life that is quite nice) reaches for her phone instead and throws up her emotional stew.

Christ Val, it's no longer entertaining.

I'm sure being with 2 nobodies after being married to a famous rock star did a number on her psyche, as it did Heather Locklear.

Can't she take a page out of the Pamela Anderson playbook? She's not getting any good rock star cock and you don't see her falling apart.

What did DLR say about her r34?

Does this bitch ever watch the news or read a newspaper?

She probably reads old magazine articles about her and Eddie, and watches reruns of One Day At A Time, while she cries and stuffs her face.

Val and Wolfie got matching tattoos for Mother’s Day. I’m betting she’s the mother-in-law from hell.

And you all wondered why I drank so much. I rest my case.

No wonder Van Halen kept touring even though the lead singers kept quitting. Eddie couldn't stand to stay at home with Our Gal Val.

Just tap your troubles away, freak.

Does her publicist have People on speed dial?

I don't get this - I know she has a strong Q rating with older women, but do they really sympathize with this when other women her age are dealing with so much more?

She does sound like a handful. I think she walked all over Eddie. I remember seeing a couple of interviews where it seemed as much.

R39 Fucking weirdos.

This woman has apparently learned that she can maintain some level of cheap tabloid fame if she shills a new “struggle” every few months. She’s begun doing it like clockwork and the frau-centric media eats it up.

I hope Val doesn’t read the IMDB reviews for Bingo Blitz the game show she’s hosting as they may push her over the edge.

Sorry Val. You can’t edit these.

R45 - yes, or she really is that histrionic and drama-focused and this is just an outlet to keep views and clicks going. It's like the worst way to produce content.

I think she's had such a long life of fame and money that she doesn't know what real life is like. And she doesn't care.

Her ex said: “Valerie is in a war with her ghosts. I’m just the guy who catches the bullets. And that isn’t new," he wrote at the time.

I believe him.

Val, this is it. This is it.

This is life. The one you get.

So go and have a ball!

Ok but when you rouge your cheeks so they appear as implants….

Count your blessings Val at least you weren’t cursed with fried egg titties.

And, in spite of everything, you had Eddie at his cutest.

When is this whiny bitch going to get OVER herself? She's been famous since she was 15 years old. Never knew what it was like to struggle financially, married a rock star at 21 and lived an exciting life traveling the world.

What the fuck is she crying about? She gained a few pounds? She got divorced twice? Her ex died? Jesus Fucking Christ people go through more shit than that and still don't complain like she does.

She's a menopausal nightmare. Just shut the fuck up and be grateful for what you have. A lot of people would trade places with her.

DLR always has maintained that, despite her publicists' best efforts, Val was a drug snorting bitch.

She was very much like her husband who turned into a toothless meth addict.

The band all hated her. They hated Eddie too but he was the talent.

She's waaay past menopause.

Val would have been much happier if she had just dated her dad.

She's the dumpy garage sale version of J. Lo, she will have a new man in 2 months.

Even an armchair psychologist can see that Val needs a man in her life or she’s empty. Sadly, it appears her son has taken that role, from the matching tattoos to all her social media handles with “Wolfie.” The Oedipal undertones practically scream.

Val is a very mentally ill woman and a horrible bitch.

Was this time worse than the “Touched by an Angel, stuffing herself with jalapeño poppers and vodka” era?

R53 Valerie already admitted that on Rob Lowes podcast that she used to go on coke benders in the 80s. She cleaned up when she got pregnant.

I wonder if Valerie and Rob fucked in the 80s.

The past 8 months might have been emotionally excruciating for her, but it's been far more emotionally excruciating for the public to have to listen to her.

Poor Val. She posts a photo of herself being “vulnerable” and gets no respect.

R62 That picture reminds me to pick up my dry cleaning.

I think the Motion Picture Home closed.

Val looks like shit but any attention is still attention.

Would not put it past her to show her melting twat soon as a display of “empowerment.”

Does she not get any VH royalties to wipe her tears away?

[quote] Does she not get any VH royalties to wipe her tears away?

Those would go to Wolfie, which is why she’s dating him now.

Mama’s gotta eat. A lot.

I served two tours of duty under heavy fire in Afghanistan, but I cannot comprehend the torture it must have been to host a season of "Bingo Blitz" on the Game Show Network.

Few have suffered the trowma that I have, but I have to say it, someone give this gal a cap, because we've got a hero right here!

Her brand is "Chronic Emotional Excruciation." Seems to be working.

Those words from her msot recent ex were telling.

Thanks to DL i now know how crazy this bitch is.

Imagine a roundtable with Val, Academy Award Winner Jamie Lee, Vi Davis and Ms Cyn Erivo.

Poor Val! Is that the reason her visage has morphed into Roseanne Barr and Bowen Wang’s in vitro love child!?

This thread is filled with one Judy Mcjudgypants after another!

“Judy Mcjudgypants.”

This is what’s so obscene about Val.

She plays the dumb, corny, mom for the frau crowd when it’s obvious to anyone paying attention what a sick, manipulative bitch she actually is. A desperate attention addict that leaves every man she meets scarred for life.

You not fooling anyone, Val!

Her ex Tom Vitale is hot. I wonder if he'll write a tell-all.

Another bitter feeling that Our Gal Val has to keep feeding is that she had to pay her ex Tom extra money to agree to not talk about her.

[quote] Another bitter feeling that Our Gal Val has to keep feeding is that she had to pay her ex Tom extra money to agree to not talk about her.

I’d totally marry Val just to have her pay me to keep my mouth shut.

Several months of torture, for sure, but then you’re on Wolfie’s payroll for life.

Man, she needs to go back to work, stat. She won’t stop talking without a project or something to do, and I like her!

Val now YOU look like you smell like dirty pantyhose.

It’s a shame Boyd Gaines and her never did a Mark and Barbara spinoff. The material was there.

R82, but both characters were incredibly boring. Valerie was adorable and no doubt the primary reason why most people kept tuning in to watch the show, but Barbara was a boring character and so was Mark. To be fair, though Mac was a mess, she was a much better actress than Val (and to be honest, Bonnie, too) and really Julie's borderline personality disorder and looking at Mac's arms for track marks were really the two primary reasons I watched the show.

[quote] To be fair, though Mac was a mess, she was a much better actress than Val (and to be honest, Bonnie, too) and really Julie's borderline personality disorder and looking at Mac's arms for track marks were really the two primary reasons I watched the show.

Would you have watched if you knew I was doing reverse cowgirl with my dad?

A father and daughter having sex is utterly reprehensible. A mother and sone, well...

Val reveals what’s in her box. Hint, it’s not a man.

Does Val have compromising photos of the publisher of “People?” If this was your only source of information, you’d think she was the most important individual on earth.

Every time Val farts it’s like breaking news. It’s parody at this point.

Like clockwork, Val speaks and People listens.

She might even be more unbearable than my daughter, which I didn't think was possible...

Based on the photo at r88, Our Gal Val could make a triumphant comeback in her biopic of her fellow paisana Buffy St. Marie.

Slap a few feathers and a jingle dress on Our Gal Val and you've got Oscar GOLD!