What do you say when someone knocks on the bathroom door?

If we're talking public restrooms, I've had people knock back in response.

Occupied.

Where do you find this happening? I haven't had this situation in years. I would say "Someone's in here" if I were in a public restroom. If I were at family's or friend's, I would yell WHAT THE FUCK, YOU CRETIN, YOU SEE THE G.D. DOOR CLOSED!?"

Stealth scat thread...

"Hang on, I'm dropping the kids at the pool."

Get lost!

I scream!

"Do you not see the fucking Caution Tape and Skull and Crossbones I taped to the stall door!!!???"

Teafake thread!

I scream, “I’M SHITTING!!”

“How might I assist you?”

Don't shoot

Fuck Off!

Buzz off, I'm pinching a loaf.

Enter!

Come in.

No solicitations!

"Dropping a log. Be right out."

"Come out."

Pronto, chi parla?

Let me finish this line! ❄️

"Ave, Maria!"

You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes!

Wrong Address or

Leave the pizza outside. I've tipped on the app.

Not now I’m squirting.

Unless you are coming in to suck me off, get lost.

I'm TAKING A CRAP.

I’n making shit fuck off

🎶 In a minute.

(Manners dictates to pleasantly sing it, rather than scream, "Beat It"!)

Come in, I’m just rearranging my colognes.

Have you come to make the royal penis clean?

Mafuckin.

Depends.

I always leave the water on when I'm tinkling, or I have to make (Although I make it a clear rule never to make in a public or friends restroom unless I really have to.

Just saying "I'm busy" or I'll be out in a minute" suffices, but make sure to wash your hands and flush before you exit.

Nothing. Fuck those bitches who prioritize their bowels over mine. I'm going to take as long as I need to finish this shit, even if that means making you piss or crap your pants.

R33 u need to be more christian

I just got in here!

I’m crowning ovah heh!

Come on over baby!

The lock on our bathroom door didn't work and I was sitting on the throne when my dad suddenly barged in. He was showing someone where the bathroom was. He didn't even knock or notice the light on under the door. What an asshole!

"Well, lick my shitter!"

Dad, I'm prairie dogging!

In my gayest falsetto ever "occupado"

R38, thank God you chunky thighs covered all the nasty bits

HELP ME!

oh, la la!

Je M'excuse!

It wouldn't be an issue, I usually leave to door to the bathroom, or the stall door ajar.

Help me please wipe, I never learned.

"Room for one more!"

“Well I NEVER.”

I live alone.

If that ever happened I would scream I HAVE A GUN IN HERE!!!

R8 ???? You feeling ok?

I lean against the door and whisper "It rubs the lotion on its skin."

R51 Use the fucking bathroom in the basement.