What last name would you change as soon as you could

Kuntz

Knew people with the last name Kuntz and Smellie

Dick

All of those.

I had a neighbor with the last name Assman... I babysat for them a few times and they were constantly getting prank phone calls.

I had a teacher in middle school named Mrs. Hardick - pronounced "Hard Dick." You can imagine what fun a room full of 13 year-olds had with that name. To this day I wonder why that poor woman didn't just keep her maiden name when she married Mr. Hardick.

Is this the Cocksucker residence?

Trump

In college I had a summer office job opening and preparing the claims and related mail for a dental insurer. One day we received a letter from the Smelley family notifying us that an entire large branch of the Smelley clan has legally changed their surname to Shelley.

Good for them, I thought. I couldn’t answer the poll here because I would adamantly change at least half of these.

OP—this site is for adults.

Slutzky is a great stage name if you're a Jewish porn star, but like all of these is not one you want to have foisted upon you.

I’d carry the name Thigpen with pride.

Ima Hogg.

She bore the name with great dignity and patience and had many opportunities to do so. She died (as the result of a cab accident) at the age of 93 while vacationing in London. The old girl never married and had style and a lot of oil money, which I imagine helped her deal with her name.

Slutzky can go, though.

Slutzky is a name that must be earned

R13, thanks for linking to right-wing propaganda

Oh fuck off r15, the NY Post is a NY institution. Everybody reads it.

Fagiola is Italian for "bean."

It's pronounce "fah-`jow-la," idiot.

Making fun of the name wouldn't last long.

R16, the article you linked to is pure propaganda

r18 I am not the same poster. And that cunt in the article is insufferable.

Right-wingers who read the Post are insufferable

Everybody in NYC reads the Post, it's just a thing. It's for amusement because it's such a rag. Fuck off about shit you know nothing about r20.

I can’t think of anything.

I can't think of anything either.

Hole

Why would anyone want to change their last name?

R22 & R23 - OK, we get it.

I knew someone whose last name was Fagman. Seriously. At least change the spelling - felt so sorry for his son.

Remember Castro Convertibles? Sofa beds, lots of TV and print ads in the ‘50s and ‘60s, stores all over? The founder was Italian.

But fearing that association with the name would be bad for business, the Castros who owned the company supposedly offered Fidel a million 1959 dollars to change [italic]his[/italic] name.

Fuchs

Fagbenle (see: actor O-T Fagbenle)

Hitler

Dick (Tim Allen's real surname)

Manson

Hung

Needmore-Cox

Golden-Showers

Dick Little

Faggert

[quote[Remember Castro Convertibles?

🎶It's incontrovertible! That the first to conquer living space. Is Castro Convertible!”🎶

Thanks, R28 - now I got that fucking song stuck in my head! lol

Fingerhut. Ugh. Gross.

Hershlag

Geographic, not personal, but why did they name it Little Dix Bay?

The Rockefellers built the resort. It’s a Rosewood now, but surely they got it back then.