Tasteful Friends: What Have They Done to This 1784 New England Farmhouse?

Tragic. And for the love of God, stop hanging TVs over the fireplace

[quote]What could our Tasteful Friends do to remedy this?

1. Forget about the paint colors, forget about the shitty furniture, forget about the TVs and where they are placed, and the superabundance of canned lighting.... You might as well criticize the owner's choice of clothing in the closets, or their preferred dog breed, or the brand of ice cream in the freezer Any reasonable buyer would be expected to introduce their own furnishings and taste.

2. Buy a better house. This was never more than a quirky very modest farmhouse of a few rooms that was expanded and reworked various times from the 19thC onward. You can see its age clearly enough in the form, proportions, scale, and a few surviving details, but there's not much historic about it other than its form and shadows of its former self.

If you want an historic house rich in period details, this isn't it. If you don't mind spending $1.4M on a really modest house with tragically low ceilings and portly selected, low grade renovations and modern finishes, then look no further.

There's no point sinking money into this dog trying to tart it as some sort of Fauxlonial 'Upon Downs.'. There's not enough there there.

If you like that style of house and are willing to expand your search in the same county, here's a much better house for the same money in Darien.

And if you have an extra 400,000 and want an old house in the same county, more than double the size and many times more impressive...

(Neither alternate is perfect, but both are much better choices)

r3 that one is basically on I-95

Somebody REALLY loves animal prints @ r4.

My rich low-brow-taste sister did this to a fine house in the Hudson Valley. This is what people like. I actually enjoy visiting because it's very calming.

This is my dream, just further north in the MA hilltowns.

R8 that's a nice house. I used to summer in a house like that on Long Island sound with wraparound screened sleeping porches. Beds on a porch by the shore do get a bit damp, however. And the cats fuck all night.

Love r8.

Zillow links aren’t working for me. I see the page for a split second and then it goes blank. Anyone know why? Happens in Safari and Firefox.

I'm using Firefox and had no issues seeing any of them.

OP's house is what happens when you have so much choice online and you get overwhelmed so you go for 'safe' and basic. Or you spent all your money on the renovation and have very little for decor.

It's so offensively bland and everything is from HomeGoods or some similar knock-off price reduction home furnishings store.

I can understand how people get stuck - I've been there. This house is in dire need of an interior designer's help - it would have made it so much easier on the owners .

The finishes are Menard’s-grade retail. Two Nipple lights. If you go to the streetview, this was once a lovely mustard.

Good fences make good neighbors, but that area is too hilly for a fence. Also, I don’t like sacrifice pits in the back yard.

Tried my phone and it works there (also Safari)

So I got to see that front entry…thing. Some attempt at Victorian gimcrackery?

The exterior of OP's house is beautiful, I even like the colour. But Damn they really sucked all the soul and life out of the interior. Holy Griege-o-rama!! I really wouldnt know where to start, although a good set of "before" photos showing what it looked like before they did THAT to it would help immensely. And I suspect R2 is right, it may never have been all that great even in its original form.

The house at R3 hasnt been "renovated" by Chip and Joanna Gaines and is all the better for it. Kitchen is a bit tired but perfectly usable. House at R4 really is nice although I dont like all the current owner's stuff, that'll all go, the good along with the bad, the house hasnt been messed with like OP's and at least there is plenty of colour

R8, I need the rugs and furniture. You keep the house. Oh, and I get the painting and the karate trophies.

Tear out the addition(s) and strip the place back to 1784. Build it back up with high quality materials including salvaged old growth lumber. Allow for electricity, indoor plumbing and a laundry room, keep the late 18th century look as authentic as possible and people might be interested. I certainly would.

Bland, bland, and more bland. Did a robot design these interiors? Or just someone with a sterile, homogenized design aesthetic?

r19 Bland (or more accurately, "minimalist") is all the rage these days. v8fairy: I agree about the Gaines couple. They're nice people but their layouts are all the same, especially the kitchens. Johanna has a thing for bulky oversized islands. It's depressing seeing them turn MCM homes into cookie cutter early 21st century nothing burgers.

I love the house at OP. Wouldn't change a thing.

R20 - that's not minimalist. It's just basic and bland. Not a single item looks unique or delights the eye.

Here are some minimalist interiors - I don't really love any of them but they at least have some unique elements.

Sidenote, to me, minimalist means half-done and giving up. I hate that it's even a thing - it feels like a marketing setting for selling products. You have the items you're trying to sell highlighted but not crowded with a lot of other furnishings to distract you.

R22, include those who are house poor - or Lutheran - or recovering from a meth addiction (you see candles everywhere if they’re a meth addict).

This gray hellscape was imagined by someone with very big hair.

Sorry - I didn't put the link in my post at R22.

I think the exterior's as ugly as the interior. It looks like a bunch of manufactured housing units shoved together.

R24, this one offends me deeply because it comes close.

The color wall with bullshit granite isn’t the problem - it’s the cowardly paint on walls and ceiling.. The whole room feels like it’s 3:45pm.

Agreed R26. I'd rather see someone aim for their own look and miss than the timidity of most half-assed spaces masquerading as Minimalist or Mid-Century Modern. Too often it's the interior design equivalent of the Garanimals clothing brand, where anything safe goes with anything safe.

R26 - yeah - like I said - I didn't really like any of the minimalist examples, but this one is among the worst. It's an irrational fear of accessories.

I hate it - and I don't know who wouldn't like the spaces better with some more art, objets, etc.

The absurdity of R26's office is that no desk is ever empty with just a lamp. Never.

I feel like it's a design-trend created just to fill some content need and to make people with little taste or afraid of decor feel at ease with their shitty decisions/indecision.

NOT an attractive house. End of story.

Decorated and furnished by your Wayfair Design Consultant!

I'm sure the cringy furnishings are just staging by a cheapo local realtor, but the structural work inside is tragically basic.