How insensitive can some people be on Mother's Day ?
I have a long-time close friend who's in her early 60s, who lost her only child (a 25 year old son whom she treasured) to COVID in the summer of 2020 (he did have a respiratory issue from when he was born), and then lost her husband (64) to cancer a year ago last week. Needless to say, losing her son completely toppled her life and then - as she was slowly putting it back together again with her husband - her husband's diagnosis in the summer of 2023 was a major setback. I haven't seen her since the diagnosis (she completely secluded herself from the rest of the world to take care of her husband), and was out of town when she had a last-minute 'memorial service' last summer. However, I've reached out to her via text (where our conversations are brief) and I've tried to make plans for lunch / dinner on a weekend; we come close but then she backs out about an hour before. She's in a sad place (she has also posted on Facebook during holidays or birthdays that she doesn't celebrate them any more since the death of her son). I let her know when she's ready to meet, to let me know and we'll meet anywhere or anytime - she appreciates that.
Today, Mother's Day, she posted pictures of her son and husband, with a heartfelt message of how she remembers the two of them making Mother's Day so special for her, and even though she can no longer spend the day with them or celebrate the day, she will get through the day remembering them. It was straightforward and clear...it's a sad day for her without these two.
I, and many others, acknowledged her posting with a heart (or hug) emoji. Then there were the idiots who obviously didn't understand the message or didn't even read it - and wished her a "Happy Mother's Day", "Hope you enjoy your special day!" and "Have a Great Mother's Day!"
Do these other friends of hers (some who have been friends with her for a long time, and met when their children were born) - at last count there were 13 who posted these insensitive messages - have any idea what she's going through ? Didn't they read her message ?How can people be so thoughtless ? If they need to post something, can't they just post "Thinking of you today" or "Sending you love" ?
Sorry for the rant - it broke my heart to see these messages posted, when she has let the world know what a tough time she's going through today and for the past year.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | May 11, 2025 8:15 PM
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R1 No matter how many times you respond with that, it never gets old...or funnier.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | May 11, 2025 5:18 PM
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This is similar to Facebook posts wishing happy birthdays to people who have died. Pretty common actually.
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | May 11, 2025 6:03 PM
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I interpreted the comments to mean that they hope she has a good day reminiscing through the better times. I don’t think they meant she actually enjoys the day with her deceased son and husband. What should they write, “I hope you have a terrible Mother’s Day.”
I’ve always thought it best to say something even if it’s the wrong thing than to say nothing at all. I’ll never forgive some people for not reach out at all when my boyfriend died because they didn’t know what to say.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | May 11, 2025 6:09 PM
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People are often stupid when it comes to thoroughly reading and interpreting social media posts, responding inappropriately, but not necessarily with malicious intent.
Sounds like these people genuinely wanted to acknowledge this woman, but didn't necessarily have the IQs to say something more sensitive like, "Thinking of you on this day and wishing you peace and comfort."
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | May 11, 2025 6:15 PM
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Newsflash, OP. Most of humanity is quite low intellect and don't read very well or critically. They mean well. AND, they're imbecilic robots.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | May 11, 2025 6:26 PM
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Posting on Facebook with something very sad and maybe looking for attention on what should be a happy day? Is this how some may interpret her post? Maybe that's why people respond in an insensitive way?
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | May 11, 2025 6:55 PM
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R5, it just requires some thought. One could say:
“Thinking of you today. They were really lucky to have you as a wife and mother.”
| by Anonymous | reply 9 | May 11, 2025 7:04 PM
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OP, every day there are people posing for selfies in front of the 9/11 memorial. What are you gonna do?
They probably do the same thing at Auschwitz.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | May 11, 2025 7:05 PM
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R10 This is a true story. I visited Auschwitz back in 2012, and in the Auschwitz I camp, there was a section with a concrete wall and there was a sign that said that thousands and thousands of Jews had been machine gunned against that concrete wall. The sign said “out of respect for the people who were murdered here, please do not take pictures.” There was a dude with a large camera taking pictures left right and sideways.
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | May 11, 2025 7:10 PM
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Hi OP. I'm so happy your friend had a new baby 🚼 and now you are a guncle. Many happy returns! 🍾
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | May 11, 2025 7:18 PM
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I would have found her pity party posting on FB insensitive for Mothers Day; when others were celebrating joyously their living and deceased mothers, she was selfishly making it all about herself.
Her posting would have been better-suited for Fathers Day, the men's individual birthdays and the anniversaries of their deaths. Let's hope she refrains from posting anything other than "Happy Mothers Day" next year.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | May 11, 2025 7:23 PM
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They probably paid either no attention to your friend's tragic news in the first place or it had slipped their minds. The "social" part of social media is not that substantial in my experience.
One of the reasons I quit Facebook was that nobody was bothering to respond to anything I posted. I wondered, they too busy to read them or were my posts not interesting enough to acknowledge? I had to admit the posts I was seeing from them were mostly pretty blah to me. Whatever was going on, it just didn't seem like actual communication was happening and I felt my online time would be better spent on sites like DL which were at least amusing and informative, and where I did very occasionally get some positive acknowledgment.
| by Anonymous | reply 14 | May 11, 2025 7:33 PM
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[quote]I interpreted the comments to mean that they hope she has a good day reminiscing through the better times. I don’t think they meant she actually enjoys the day with her deceased son and husband. What should they write, “I hope you have a terrible Mother’s Day.”
They should write "Thinking of you today" and end it at that. It's not insensitive at all. Or if they're not certain - don't write anything, just acknowledge with an emoji like everyone else. Sometimes less is more - and if there's nothing to say, then that's plenty.
[quote]Get a blog? 0/10?
Once again, no matter how many times you post this - it never get funnier.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | May 11, 2025 8:04 PM
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The OP is almost as tedious as his “friend”.
| by Anonymous | reply 16 | May 11, 2025 8:07 PM
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Some people are vapid and voluminous on Facebook, they just skim the surface in an instant and post some cheerful banality and then it’s on to the next.
| by Anonymous | reply 17 | May 11, 2025 8:09 PM
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Do you think in 30 years, 50 year old Gen Z will have the lightest clue that social pleasantries were ever a thing? Be grateful for now that old folks bother with social communication no matter how piddling and mindless.
| by Anonymous | reply 18 | May 11, 2025 8:15 PM
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