Ranker's Hottest Football Players 2024

OP is sight-impaired. Jimmy Garoppolo should have been #1. How is he not #1?

This list was obviously compiled by cisgender white women.

New to the list has to be rookie Carson Schwesinger of the Cleveland Browns. Show me another player whose package is so swell displayed in football pants.

Carson is hot.

Though I never met him myself, I know a number of people who socialized with Jimmy Garoppolo on occasion in RI when he played for the Patriots ten years ago. (I believe he lived in RI at the time, or on the RI / MA border). He would attend / host some local children's charities. Also used to frequent many restaurants and businesses. Only heard great things about him - never heard a negative word about him in public and engaging with fans.

I like Robert Woods. He looks like a nice, normal, handsome man.

Don’t know a thing about him, but he seems less dramatic and flashy than some of the others.

Butker is MAGA

I'm smitten with Bengals WR Andrei Iosivas.

So. Much. MAGA

[quote]Jimmy Garoppolo should have been #1.

Go to WeHo or the Pines and find a dozen who look just like him.

Saquon is a thing of beauty.

Kevin Byard, # 8, has great lips.

Jeez, look at the write up on Aaron Rodgers at 51. Was all that necessary? No, it wasn’t.

I saw Christian McCaffrey in person the other night. He's shorter than I expected, but built thick and solid and with skin that doesn't have a single flaw.

Joe Burrow gives me strong BI vibes.

Now I know why I’m a baseball fan.

C'mon Red Sox let's go! I'm with you R15.

Burrow has buttahface. Purdy should be on there.

But, has Purdy ever flashed his naked ass on television? Burrow has.

Joe Burrow could chew me up and spit me out any time he'd like.

Barkley is an Uncle Tom MAGA. Burrow definitely gives off bi vibes. The wardrobe, the bitchy cockiness, the look of wanting to fuck anything in his way. It's all there.