How do you handle bad things?

I shop for books to make myself feel better.

I go to a gun range and blast away.

What about for people who don’t read?

I’m not Christian, r2

In the past: alcohol, cocaine, and cigarettes.

Now: food, mindless scrolling on DL, classic film.

I try to completely immerse myself in movies. Like back-to-back, don’t-move-from-the-sofa movie viewing for a good 2 days. Eat good foods.

On day 3, make a point to go for a long walk. Listen to an engrossing podcast so your thoughts don’t have a chance to surface.

Then, do a bunch of errands you’ve been putting off. The business will distract you.

By day 4, you’ll start to feel a bit better. A bit.

It’s called repression, OP!

Dr. House says it’s making a comeback.

OP -WHAT HAPPENED?

Have you tried alcohol? A lot of people swear by it. Very popular remedy - been around for thousands of years.

It depends what the bad thing is.

You can be talk to me when you haff to fly to see dead Popeyman steal all attention from you BIRTHDAY. Easiest to be doing? Making Tannibal Lecter to be putting the check on dresser. Also to be checking routing numbers matching.

Hi OP. Sorry to hear you had something bad that happened to you. I hope you're ok.

Firstly, give yourself some time to decompress. If you like walking, you can take some time outside; spend time with animals or in nature, hug or be with your pet. Listen to some music or relax with a good show. Secondly, after the initial shock of what happened has passed, decide if you need to do anything about it or if you can let it go. If you need to take action, try to figure out what the best outcome for yourself is, then plan accordingly. Seek help from friends/family if necessary. Or further, depending on the situation. Don't panic. If you need to take small manageable steps, do so.

Sometimes I just like to sit outside and listen to wind, read some poems and then go be with my pet and love on her. God bless and God speed, OP.

Am I the only one who has 'bad days'? If a day starts out with something bad happening, I avoid any decisions, choices, activities, conversations, etc. that could backfire and become problems. Conversely, if the day starts out as a 'good day', I make lots of decisions, have conversations with lots of folks, and generally proceed as if the results of my interactions will result in positive outcomes. Yeah, I know it's silly, but it strangely seems to work for me.

McDonald's and Adderall or your favorite doctor-prescribed medication.

H-A-L-T

Try not to make decisions or take action when you are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.

In other words, what r12 said.

Mind you, it’s a tall order.

R12 when I'm seemingly having a good day and acknowledge it, I end up being jinxed. Everything goes to shit. I haven't had an entirely good day in years. So, I drink.

Define "bad." Is it "bad" as in you got in line behind someone in the 10 items or less lane at the supermarket who had 12 items "bad," or is it "bad" as in you were diagnosed with an incurable disease or suffered a severe injury in a car accident "bad?"

A little more insight will help us determine some methods for handling it.

[quote]How do you handle bad things?

denial

Excellent advice, r14

When in doubt, wait it out.

I have a couple of drinks, put on music that I know will make me cry, and just lay on the floor and let myself sob for as long as I need to like an unabashed Mary. I let myself feel the pain while telling myself it won't last forever and that I'll be there for myself the whole time. Usually it only lasts about an hour or so and when I'm done, I pass out and usually wake up feeling about 95% less bad about the bad thing and am generally able to find some insight. If there's still more bad left, I have another weep-and-sleep the next night.

I have found as I get older the only way to get past pain is straight through. Distraction only prolongs the process and it almost always pops up as some other neurosis if it's left to its own devices.

Compartmentalize, for a time, then I research the hell out of the issue, and try to keep moving, the more answers or tips I can find the better, but I don't jump to trying to fix, need time to process.

Chicken tenders and Drop Dead Gorgeous.

I try to focus on something positive even if it’s a silly thing like shopping or a show

I'm stewing about a handful of bad things right now. But after the initial shock of the bad thing, I try my best to find out if there's something/s I can do about it. If not, as the say in AA (which is where R14 got that acronym) I try to give time time. Nothing ever stays the same for very long. Some things actually do sort themselves out.

Since 2006 when this CD was released, whenever I have something horrible happen to me or I'm going through a rough time, I honestly play Olivia Newton-John's album 'Grace and Gratitude' - especially the songs "Let Go, Let God" and "Instrument of Peace". It makes me see things more clearly, and more forgiving.

OP, I never thought I’d say this, but can you get to a cheesecake right now?

OP, I hope you are doing better.

Ohh, I just bring them for a walk by the water or invite them for tea with my dolls in our basement.

Well, I'm an alcoholic, so that was the way I coped until a few months ago.

Now I try to take my mind off what the thing is for awhile because I have the unfortunate habit of catastrophizing things and convincing myself there is no way through it. I try to play some relaxing games (like Jigsawscapes or Mahjong) and give my brain a break for awhile.

I come back to it when I'm feeling less emotional and raw. I don't make great decisions when I'm in that state.

I escape into books, other people's experiences.

Focus on all the good you do have, not the bad.

r30 I read some experiences from NDERF from time to time as well! I have for years.

[quote]How do you handle bad things?

I usually try, but fail, to not obsess about it. And then try not to beat myself up for obsessing about it.,We’re all human.

I blame it on republicans.

R29 yeah! I'm sure there are a few nutters but sometimes you find interesting things.

Yep, r35 - completely agree. Some are interesting, others are clearly projecting what's been drilled into them all their lives.

Weightlifting. Boxing.

Smoke copious amounts of pot silly!

I’m depressed. I don’t go to FB much but now I’m getting pix of dead animals, animals eating animals, tortured animals. Is this some MAGAbot that is retaliating if you post anti-Trump stuff? One reason I don’t do SM is that tracking crap. Also why I don’t log on Google.

I watch those YouTube videos where they make fun of ridiculous trans and nonbinary people. Knowing that I’m normal compared to them makes me feel better.

I go to bed early. And then when I wake up in the middle of the night, I take a laxative, and a my own secret combination of sleep meds that I know will put me out for a very long time; then when I wake up 12 hours later, I repeat the process. Anywhere from 2 days to a week!

Then when I finally wake up, I have one, maybe two really strong cups of coffee. I distract myself reading up on the news I missed. Within about 30 minutes, I'm able to take a huge dump!

You know that saying "it takes a tremendous weight off my mind", but therapeutically, it really does feel like flushing all the harmful garbage out of your system.

And I swear, I have never told this to anybody. Only an anonymous forum do I feel comfortable extrapolating it.

^^Oh, it's also good for weight loss.

This is a very timely thread! I'm embarrassed to say I was inspired by The White Lotus and the feeling that you're trapped but there is another way if you'd just choose it. I've been listening to audio books about buddhism and trying to meditate. I don't know that it's necessarily helped, but at least i've found another coping mechanism besides overeaeting/drinking/shopping

OP, I guess it depends on what the bad thing is. If it’s an ego-driven “injury” or insult, I do struggle with it - I’m not proud of this confession, but I tend to get bent out of shape over smaller things more than bigger things. I’ll ruminate and try to push myself past the unimportant issue but it’s not easy for me.

Case in point: I felt very mildly rebuked by another shelter volunteer on our group FB page and was angry about it for a good while. I’m playing down the overarching issue but my personal, internal reaction was outsized. At the same time, I found out that my friends’ 24-year old daughter had died the night before of sickle cell anemia, which made me sick and heartbroken, but I was able to “move on” in a sense. Obviously, it’s not my pain, but it still left me reeling.

My novel is basically to say that I mix good old-fashioned psychoanalysis with a bit of Buddhism. More superficially, I will get outside and work in my garden - studies have shown that there is a bacteria in soil that helps with depression, and sunshine helps with mood.

I’m sorry - I don’t think this comment is helpful, but I hope it is in some small way.

I look in the mirror and remind myself that I’m beautiful, men find me attractive, and people want to be my friend.

I poop in a cookie box and leave it at the bus stop.

R41 What you have there is a laxative addiction. Bulimics would say the same thing about vomiting twice a week.

I cut down a tree in the garden with an axe wearing a ballgown.

What’s your address^^?

I slap faces viciously