Question to those with sobriety of over 5 years
I'm about 4 months newly sober (not for the first time) and I just realized I haven't thrown out my wine bottle opener. Is this a bad sign?
Some background: Although I'm in my mid 50s, I'm not a lifelong drinker, having only developed a taste for alcohol in my mid 30s. I have quit a few times before on my own for longer periods of time (year and a half stints, usually), then have fallen back into heavy drinking when too many things hit me at once and it all seems so painful/overwhelming.
I don't want to go back to drinking...and it was indeed, very heavy drinking. The wine bottle opener is one of those multi-tool deals with a little knife in it, etc. I just realized this morning it's sitting in my drawer. I don't have wine glasses per se (I used to use a regular small juice glass when drinking) so there's nothing to throw out there. I haven't had any thoughts in my head about "when I drink again..." etc.
Should I be worried that I didn't think to throw that out? I also wonder if there is a workbook or something I could use to work through some of my bad coping habits for when (not if) the shit hits the fan again so I don't fall back into a vat of wine. I have gone to AA in the past and it's just not my thing (although I don't begrudge others their patronage and use of it) and it has been helpful to be at times. I've considered trying therapy again, but there's so much to cover there. Anybody have any useful workbooks or thoughts about how to tackle/target poor coping methods that cause a person to think "oh, i'll just start drinking again and stop thinking about the pain"?
I'll probably get crucified for this post, told to get a blog, someone will say they love drinking and don't want to be sober, etc. But on the off chance somebody has something useful to offer (besides suggested I give AA another try - believe me, I've been to my fair share of meetings everywhere over the years and it's just not for me), I'm throwing it out there.
Happy sober Sunday to those of us who are anywhere within their own sobriety. I'm happy to wake up to another day not hungover, dizzy, shitting my brains out, worried what I texted, stomach churning, fat with no plans for the day but to recover and get sober enough to drive and buy more bottles of wine and do it all over again!
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | April 27, 2025 6:22 PM
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Go back to AA and bore them with your stupid problems. That's what it's for.
| by Anonymous | reply 1 | April 27, 2025 5:26 PM
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Your drawers are no place for a wine opener with a little knife.
Unless you keep posting on this thread, especially with an overabundance of barf about past drunken behaviors that WE don't want or need, posed nastily as a "have a happy day" greeting.
Yes, get a sponsor, go to AA, talk to a shrink. We're not here to unknot you, sis.
| by Anonymous | reply 2 | April 27, 2025 5:31 PM
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I'm sober for thirty -seven years and if I look hard enough I might find a corkscrew in my apartment.
Don't pick up that first drink and don't worry about wine openers. If it's bothering you then give it away. If you need one you can go buy another.
| by Anonymous | reply 3 | April 27, 2025 5:35 PM
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Why not throw out the bottle opener right now that you've thought of it?
| by Anonymous | reply 4 | April 27, 2025 5:42 PM
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Here it is in a nutshell, OP: when you feel like you want to drink, [bold]do something else![/bold] It's just that simple.
If you can't stop thinking about horrible things (that make you want to drink), see a therapist and/or get on anti-depressants. I was sober for 22 years (and going to meetings), and yet I still needed anti-depressants (which I had hitherto refused to take because of AA) to really make me feel like a normal human being (or as normal as I was ever gonna be).
As for the corkscrew? Whether you keep it or not makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. Keep it or re-gift it. If you want to drink, the possession (or not) of a corkscrew will make no difference either way.
Hope that helps, assuming you're a real person with a real problem.
| by Anonymous | reply 5 | April 27, 2025 5:43 PM
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Keep the corkscrew for an occasion when a guest has a glass of wine.
| by Anonymous | reply 6 | April 27, 2025 5:47 PM
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Fuck off, R1. You didn't have to reply/bump this thread, dumbass.
| by Anonymous | reply 7 | April 27, 2025 5:51 PM
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Fuck off, r2. You didn't have to reply/bump this thread, dumbass.
| by Anonymous | reply 8 | April 27, 2025 5:51 PM
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Thanks, everyone. It's really not that big of a deal, but I wondered if it should be. I was thinking of how I was going to clean my kitchen today and get rid of some stuff to Goodwill in preparation for moving out in June (hopefully), when it suddenly occurred to me that was still in my drawer of kitchen gadgets that I don't go into very often. I just wondered if I should be worried that it didn't occur to me months back, that maybe it was something I was holding onto "just in case," and that I SHOULD be more worried about the fact that I didn't eradicate it back in the first days of January when I stopped drinking.
I tend to overthink things and this was one that gave me pause today. And r5, you're right. I've been very good at "doing something else" for the past several months - whether it be exercising, hiking, playing stupid puzzle games or mahjong just to occupy my brain sometimes. I plan to keep that up.
| by Anonymous | reply 10 | April 27, 2025 5:57 PM
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I'm not a drinker. I watched older generations of my family drink, be abusive, and play the fool. If you're so weak that you don't know what to do with a corkscrew, then you've got bigger issues. Be better...
| by Anonymous | reply 11 | April 27, 2025 6:00 PM
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[quote] I just wondered if I should be worried that it didn't occur to me months back, that maybe it was something I was holding onto "just in case," and that I SHOULD be more worried about the fact that I didn't eradicate it back in the first days of January when I stopped drinking.
You're talking about this as if you have no responsibility for your actions--as if you are out of control.
throw the fucking thing away before you even clean out the rest of the kitchen. Just do it. Stop acting like a baby. You are responsible for your actions starting NOW--the past is the past.
| by Anonymous | reply 12 | April 27, 2025 6:05 PM
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OP, this kind of question is what AA meetings were designed for. You could join one online if you don't want to go in person, but if you're fixating on a bottle opener, you have bigger problems. You're not going to find the help you need on DL, no matter how jovially you try to dress it up.
| by Anonymous | reply 13 | April 27, 2025 6:14 PM
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r13 would make anyone drink.
| by Anonymous | reply 15 | April 27, 2025 6:22 PM
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