Let's be MELANIA'S 55th Birthday Party !

I'm another Trump thread.

I'm her step-daughter Tiffany, and I showed up with a bottle of expensive champagne for her. Unfortunately, no one here knows who I am. Not even my daddy. He keeps asking 'Who's the fat ugly girl with no chin walking around the room ?'

I really don't care, do you?

I'm the dwindling number of contacts on her cell phone - reasonably handsome and sexy men aged 30 to 59 who GET HARD and will fuck her for free and enjoy it.

As strong Taurus woman, I want wish me happiest of the birthdays! I stay in room while nice Baron child whispers at door that pretty Mommy be best Mommy. Why my life end up like this? Orange man hopefully die soon, is my wish when blow out the candles. Maybe start house fire.

I’m the Secret Service guy. I can’t believe, after all the training I did, that I’m going to spend another day standing around, watching this woman do and say absolutely nothing. I’m not even going to get a piece of cake out of it.

I am poosey. I am at party covered up all day will not be used but will clean out anyway.

she's a whore

Wait a minute... *who's* 55th birthday party, did you say?

You know issactly who, Shiksa Barbie girl. You not fool me with regift fake wrapping present again. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well look at me, I have to make the Creesmoos decoration again. You go sit on the orange lap, I no have the time.

So her age finally caught up to her IQ?

Not really beink 55, teats is just 3 years old, poosey got rejeoooved last year, hair is being replaced on annually

I’m the Tiffany’s head of security excited to get head from Melania

I’m the rape kit for Donald’s friends.

I'm Kimberly Gargoyle. Anyone remember me ? I used to be at the top of the guest list. Now I'm scraping the bottom of the list. But now I'll bring my new Greek God of a boyfriend, and show Junior Mint what a REAL man looks like.

We're the ICE agents standing guard near the three tiered birthday cake to handcuff Melania and ship her to El Salvador with her anchor baby.

We’re her staff’s endless gag gifts of crotch-less and butt-less pantyhose!

What does one gift a 55-year-old mattress?

I heet you witt bag!

I’m the ping pong balls shot from my cooche

I wear this to Pope funeral because I have birthday party after.

I’m the party train.

All aboard!

Choo-Choo!

I’m the tasteful, arty nudes from Melania’s past. Not to be confused with the lezzy ones or where she fingers her poosay.

Like that architecture degree

I'm special guest Ramon the donkey. I remind Varist Letty of her party days in Tijuana.

I’m the next iteration of the pre-nup that’s her present from the Orange one.

Thanks everyone - some of these answers are laugh-out-loud funny ! Keep them going, please - the celebration has just begun !

This party so boring, and the shoes, they hurt. Funny people looking at Donuhld and the snickers. Point at me. I tell him black suit Be Best, he not listen. Why the Popeyman ruin MY BIRTHDAY? I say to Clockstop Orange, they better be big diamonds in pretty box when get back to hotel, or Melania fly home and plan the revenges. I say Be Best, but no one listen to what Be Best for me.

[quote]Why the Popeyman ruin MY BIRTHDAY?

I have tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard !

I pout so Donalt get me this.

Melania threads always crack me up!

I bet my fat daughter is there cosplaying Tiffany just to get her hooves on a slab of cake.

Is she even a "thing" anymore? Are her twilight-years birthdays ("late-middle-age birthdays" if you're feeling charitable) still a thing? I thought she was basically a hologram at this point.

Thank you nice gay, R29. I dodging fancy mascara boy who keeps grinding behind me when music start. He worst dancer than my Manchurian Cantaloupe and Seinfeld woman combined. No, NO the dancing, JD. I said the no! Is too much to ask how much longer to stay and squint at all the boring peoples? Also, where can find Lorezepam? The lady penguin people in the john say not knowing...

Only 55! Looks years older.

She's looking particularly haggard at Pope Francis' funeral.

She’s probably wondering if they are going to burst into flames R36.

They almost look the same age.

55 has hit her hard.

Wonder if she will have a little 'surgery' while in Italy ? Maybe Donald's birthday gift to her ?

Are we surprised at what Trumpie is doing to this country? Look at what he did to his wife's face.

[quote] She’s probably wondering if they are going to burst into flames

That would require self-awareness. This old whore doesn't have that.

You homosex men very funny, very haha. Will show this to husband next month when meet him, see if still laughing after. Will now admire new italian jewelry and maybe eat bonbon.

You think I look hag? I don like be this close Slovenie,it make me nerve. You know what I do to get out of that toilet?

New York is where I'd rather stay!

You looka lika hag!

Orange man will not stop farting. He’s going to blow out my candles at party again, no?

I'm an envelope with cash from one of her former johns.

[quote] She's looking particularly haggard at Pope Francis' funeral.

Maybe, the whore is starting to get the face she deserves. Fucking cunt deserves it.

What's the new divot on her cheek about?

Daddy should have taken me to Rome, he knows I look RADIANT in black lace!

That Slavic Jezebel looks old , and dried up, and haggard! Daddy loves how moist my pussy gets!

[quote]What’s the new divot on her cheek about?

I get hit by wayward ping pong ball from my cooche.

Lady bathroom penguins keep saying Ciao, Strega Nona! Must be birthday happy wishes to me, yes? They so nice except one. She say back, back Satan's harlot, and hid in stall. Was not Be Best moment, silly lady penguin. Time to go now, please. So bored, and tired of looking at drooling Pumpkin Spice Putin. I get holiday pay for this, yes? Or at least time plus the half?

R52 You should write your own blog - I can't stop laughing.

You too nice, kind gay boy. If you single and ready to mingle, I may have surprise for you! You like nice tall college boy? I have one for you. He good at heart, but don't look to close at birthmark on scalp. They just numbers. If you no like my son, I find you wealthy sugary father. Just need to sign this piece of paper first and then I get direct deposit of your allowance. Like lady penguins say, Capisce?

I'm Pete Hegseth, or as the ladies here at the party like to call me, 'Pete Hegsexy'. For Melania's birthday, I brought my hard tattooed cock for her to enjoy. I also brought my cell phone with Signal messenger so I can do a group text with everyone at the National Correspondent's Dinner in DC, and share top secret information from the DoD. I also want to do a 'group chat' on speaker phone with Putin in front of all the guests, and discuss attack strategies against Zelinsky. Anyone here at the party can join in at any time. You're on speaker phone !

R55 All of that I perfectly possible these days.

R46 is she posing for a death mask?

I am her Slovenian Passport, that was never relinquished...

I'm the donkey from Tijuana, being treated for STDs I got from the First Whore.

That is Third Wife, First Whore

Eet my burfdey,but I had to go funureal for dead guy.