You've been kidnapped. The cast of the last TV show you watched is coming to rescue you.

Star Trek: Enterprise.

Hell, YES they'll succeed. Nobody can beat Captain Jonathan Archer.

The cast of Falcon Crest is on the way to help me. That old bitch Angela Channing said she will only help if I give her my grapes. At least Lance is in a speedo for some reason.

OMG! Im going to be rescued by The Beverly hillbillies? Maybe Jethro will take his shirt off.

I am stuck with Doug and Carrie Heffernan from THE KING OF QUEENS. There isn’t much of a supporting cast - so it will be mostly them and the aged father-in-law.

My only hope is if I hit Carrie over the head and Leah Remini emerges.

30 Rock. Jack Donaghy is the smartest person on there and his wife was kidnapped in North Korea and held for over a year. I’m screwed.

Walker Texas Ranger.

I hope that short clip of "Mid-Century Modern" doesn't count.

The Walking Dead. Daryl and Rick will kick some ass, but get caught and Carol will free us all, only to be killed by Bigfoot.

Diego Luna and Stellan Skarsgard from ANDOR are coming to save me! My prayers are answered.

Thanks to DL I had just watched LARAMIE so Jess & Slim are on the way. I have every confidence I am in safe hands.

Tony Soprano is coming to rescue me as I’m snorting blow with Christopher Moltisanti.

The ladies of The View. My kidnappers will go deaf.

I’m doomed with Gordon Ramsay and the fat owner of the Simmer Down cafe and his staff coming to rescue me.

R12 I shot myself.

Dark Winds. Joe Leaphorn and Jim Chee are on their way.

I guess Big Ben from HGTV's Home Town will be coming to save me.

I'll have to cling to his bare, hairy chest as he picks me up to carry me away........

The cast of FX's "Rescue Me."

Starting to wish I was r16...

Hercule Poirot is on the case. I know I'll be rescued post haste.

The Pitt. Save me, Noah Wyle!

I like my chances, there’s some crafty doctors on there and some who aren’t afraid to use power tools on people.

I just watched Less Than Zero, from 1987.

Lord help me if they are my rescuers.

The Law&Order team, which makes sense.

Unfortunately, they'll probably do an illegal search, almost blowing the case. Hope they can pull off a surprise win!

Jack Reacher will make short work of my captors.

R21 Maybe they'll trade the kidnappers a baggie of coke for you.

Nahhh...

Perry Mason

Lord Jesus, my life is gonna depend on the cast of Sister Wives.

The White Lotus! Sritala can distract the kidnappers with her elegant melismatic singing, while Chloe bites off my ropes with her scary teeth.

The Righteous Gemstones , lol. Maybe God’s on my side?

Rewatched an episode of "Mary Berry's Quick Cooking" last night. I might be okay, though - you know Dame Mary keeps her knives sharp, and there were some Moroccan fellows who looked like they'd be up for a rumble if need be.

The cast of " The Pit" is coming to my rescue!! Dr. Robbie take off that shirt first !!! I will tolerate the mean narcissistic Indian doctor but only in an administrative role. I want to borrow cigarettes from the head ER nurse she is cool.

Law & Order for me... whew! Definitely going to be saved, Dennis Farina and Jesse L Green are on the case and the rules of law is a bit fuzzy for Joe (Farina).

Severance! I’m glad too. Helly could unleash some serious whoopass

Tatort - Falke

After Anna DeVane, Jason Morgan, Jack Brennan, Curtis Ashford, Laura Collins, Carly Spence and new WSB agent Josslyn Jacks, among many other characters from General Hospital, finish rescuing OP, they're headed over to save me as well.

Given there are over 50 characters in this cast, I should be in good hands.

But I'll especially put any bedside care I need into the hands of Valentin Cassadine, Gio Palmieri, Ric Lansing, Lucas Jones and newcomer Marco. I expect to need around the clock attention from them to heal properly.

Watched The Next Three Days (2010) (good movie, worth watching) last night so I’m all set, thanks.

The cast of The Love Boat Season 8.

Considering Gopher’s such an idiot on screen and off I’d be better off with the cast of Gilligan’s Island.

Seinfeld. I'm doomed.

The cast of the EastEnders

Will they bring me a cuppa and a bacon butty? I'd actually be okay with this. It'd be like one of those caper films they made in the 70's.

The cast of Friends is coming to save me.

Rachel and Ross will provide the diversion; Phoebe and Joey will kick their asses and set me free; Monica and Chandler will clean the mess afterwards.

So Peggy Cass and Kitty Carlisle will be coming to rescue me?

This should be interesting.

That would be "Reacher."

I'm assuming my kidnapper will end up drawn & quartered. (By Reacher personally, not four horses.) But I have zero fear of not being rescued.

How adorable, OP! The last TV show I watched was that terrible Netflix movie with Glenn playing Cameron Diaz's mother, requiring an even bigger suspension of disbelief than that time she played a man.

We all know I'll have to rescue myself, as per usual.

The Pitt for me as well.

I'm confident Dr. Santos can kick some ass.

Real Time With Bill Maher.

Fuck.

the cast of severance.

no thank you.

Hey -- they rescued Gemma!

[quote]Hey -- they rescued Gemma!

Only to destroy her life by showing that her husband fell for another woman while she was gone!

Oh fuck! The cast of ‘Last one laughing’ UK version. Praying Bob Mortimer might have some wit.

Oh, YAY!!!

The cast of "Married To Real Estate"! Egypt Sherrod (well, she can stay home) and her hot, hot, HOT husband MIKE JACKSON will come save me!!!

Luckily I watched 9-1-1 which means Peter Krause will rescue me. Yay!

Me too R50 - You can have Bobby. I'll let Buck come to my rescue.

Damn, that leaves dumb Eddie for me.

I guess I’ll be rescued if “The Price is Right”. Screaming loons charging as I await my fate in the Plinko machine.

I'll be fine if I can stay away from the dragon's mouth when he incinerates my captors. Dracarys!

Thank God I changed channels before I saw this post. Otherwise, it would have been Novaxx or Mensik.

The cast of Summer House on Bravo and I'm in serious trouble. They're all very hungover to 2 or 3 espresso martinis in. And self involved! I don't think any of them could mastermind a rescue. Maybe Ciara. She is or was a nurse and it one of the more competent mature ones.

R41, just watched that too!! W00T!

I think the obvious answer is Tracker

Damn, I wish I'd watched Green Acres last night.

I'm not sure they'd rescue me, but I really want to see what happens.

Law and order. Season 6. Curtis and Brisco. McCoy and Claire. Adam and Anita.

High Potential.

Kaitlin Olson will figure out what happened to me.

Glad I didn't watch Hazel or Small Wonder today.

Could be worse r61. Could be the poor bastard that watched CSI.

"Damn, we're too late. Oh, well. Let's get cutting, and find out what happened here!"

The cast of Big Boys is coming for me. I feel most confident about the mother and aunt.

X-Files.

I hope I'm not mistaken for an alien

Reacher. Any of those big muscled oxen are more than welcome to rescue me.

I must amend my original comment at R16 to stipulate that not only big hairy Ben but his friend, the short king Josh, will also help rescue me....right before I become a Josh and Ben sandwich in gratitude, of course.

Heartland: Lou would have another neurotic meltdown. Amy would be too busy talking to a horse who had a bad interaction with a rabbit. Jack and Tim would argue about who could do it best.

One of those cool horses would have to save me.

The cast of “The Gentlemen”

Poor me. I watched an episode of "Grantchester" this morning, so I guess my rescue is reliant upon Geordie, Alphy, Leonard, Dickens, etc.

I wish it had been an earlier season with Vicar Sidney (James Norton).

I wish I'd been watching Mad Men. Don Draper and Roger could come rescue me, and bring Ken Cosgrove and Stan Rizzo along to help.

The Vienna Philharmonic will be able to swarm the hideout quite easily, and also has many cute guys to help comfort me afterwards.

Barney Miller. I'm in good hands.

The Pitt staff are going to be very busy!

R72, that would be my dream team

I'm in clover. Neal Caffrey and the FBI are on their way, Mozzie having calculated my location from the age and type of the mortar between the bricks behind me in my proof of life photo.

R72 Wojo can save me any time!

Captain Man and Kid Danger. Thank God it wasn't one of the episodes with Frankie Grande.

MARY!

Wotan Wilke Möhring, a German actor who plays Thorsten Falke in the "Tarot" franchise.

I'm screwed.

I’m in the hands of the entire Nelson family.

The Neighborhood.

They are a bunch of bungling Keystone Cops, I have no hope but I do like Max Greenfield.

Will & Grace

Designing Women

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

The Powers That Be

Filthy Rich

High Society

The Dick Van Dyck Show

Charlie's Angels

R84 I think the man should kill the bug!

Downton Abbey. I'm sure if Barrow and O'Brien put their scheming minds together they can come up with a plan to save me but they will expect a hefty paycheck for doing so.

For me, it's this past Wednesday night cast of SURVIVOR. Please, oh please - let Joe rescue me with the help of David and let them each fuck the hell out of me when they find me.

The cast of South Park

The story of my life... I was watching old episode of McMillan and Wife. Could have been rescued by Rock Hudson. But no! I had to hang on for an episode of The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Now I'm awaiting rescue by Charles Nelson Reilly.

At least they're both gay.

Just finished watching an episode of the Spanish series Velvet.

Miguel Ángel Silvestre, take me away!

The cast of Season 3 of the White Lotus comes to rescue me; surely there's someone in that seedy bunch that knows how to deal with kidnappers

Slow Horses... Jackson Lamb and his crew 😅

The Hollywood Squares.

My fate rests in the hands of Paul Lynde.

This thread popped up again, so I guess I've been kidnapped again. This time, Rachel Maddow is coming to save me. (Watching her on DVR)

I guess I’m the new companion to the Doctor

Wings! They have a plane AND Tim Daly. Save me, daddy!

Bad news for me. The cast of “From” is coming to rescue me — all they have to do is get out of that town.

I’ll just patiently wait for rescue … right here ….

I Love Lucy.

Lucy and Ethel knocked several people out in ILL….

The remaining five or six teams from the current season of The Amazing Race so...maybe?

Sweet Jesus. Bill Maher and Al Gore?

ADAM-12 - Pete Malloy and Jim Reed to my rescue... please bring Mac along.

Golden Girls

Il Gattopardo sta venendo a salvarmi.

Eddie Muller from TCM I am doomed, but maybe he'll bring me a cocktail.

The Real Housewives of Bev Hills are rushing over in their new Range Rovers.

The cast of Six Feet Under is on the way. David is useless, but I have faith in Keith.

Oh god, it's "Bad Sisters" - they'll end up bungling it.

Abbott Elementary

[italic]Criminal Minds,[/talic] peak cast (Gibson, Mantegna, Moore, Brewster, Gubler, Cook, Vangsness).

I'm as good as saved and back home in my living room.

RIP, R108.

Mid modern century....im dead.

Marty and Wendy Byrde from Ozark spend so much time bickering about who is going to rescue me the Cartel think I’m valuable so they throw me in a dungeon in Sinaloa.

The Yellowjackets. Yes, they will succeed in rescuing me. However, they will probably also succeed in cannibalizing me.

The Last of Us. I am good unless those fungi zombies attack.

Hacks.

I'm definitely a goner.

Shady Pines, R116! Shady Pines!

Vicious - Derek Jacobi will bitch-slap my captors to death

Robert Fuller from the first season of "Laramie" is coming.

He left John Smith at the cabin to watch the kid because Spring Byington is nowhere to be found.

She runs off.

I have no fear. But I predict a long, long trip home.

The Closer - They'll get it done. I have it on right now. It's one of the Christmas episodes with Fred Willard as a drunk Santa. It's one of my favorite episodes.

Mary, Rhoda and Phyllis it is!

R125, that is a great episode of The Closer. Fred Willard as drunk Santa is amazing.

Tell me, do you want Julio to rescue you? Does he do it brutally?

60 minutes journalists I guess

Nicole Wallace to the rescue. I hope that adorable Tim Miller tags along!

Just Shoot Me just ended and Quincy M.E. just began. I know what the sensible choice would be, but I've *got* to go with Nina Van Horn.

The Jeopardy contestants.

Hooray, the Rebel Alliance idiots are coming with their ponderous melodrama and their low energy lead