DL Event Planners I need your advice for my Big Birthday

Oh, It's 40 people. So not huge, but big enough.

Why pay a DJ? Get your people to offer song ideas and shuffle a playlist.

You could hire a couple of strippers for the money

[quote]My 50th Birthday party is coming up in May and I am planning a big shindig for my family and friends to get together. It's really not about me

OF COURSE it's about you, you narcisisstic black hole of attention twat.

Hi Op, soind

The odd thing is R4, I wouldn't put that feeling past me. But it's not what I am feeling. My parents were divorced when I was a baby. I have lived my entire life with two different sides of my family, two side I love very much. This will be the first time in my life that both sides will be together -cousins from one side with the other. There is absolutely no bad blood or anything, it just never has happened. So in a way, it is kind of selfish - I want to see all my family together once in my life before I die.

R2, That is what I am thinking too. I have a playlist of music that can go for six hours. My thinking is that that would be perfectly fine as well. But again, I have never done something on this level before, and I was seeking advice from people who might say from their experience - it's totally worth hiring a DJ, they make all the difference, OR it's completely unnecessary for 40 people at a restaurant.

I did a very similar thing for my 50s, Op, two years ago, also a terrace with city views in the summer. Slightly more people (70) and it went from 8pM to 3am. I did get a dj and there was some dancing, but if your party ends at 11 I wouldn’t bother. Even in my case the dj only started dance music quite late - lots of people were late, cocktails, dinner took quite some time, etc

Hope all goes well. It takes lot of planning but i enjoyed it.

(Re: decorations, keep it simple)

Thank you thank you thank you. R8. That is the kind of advice I am looking for. There's not even really a dance floor for people to dance - just space around our tables and the open bar terrace.

What are you wearing? Caftan?

Oh and I have to imagine that having traveled all that way, and with an open bar and a sit-down dinner, and people seeing people they haven't in decades or meeting new people, people will not get bored in that span of time. That's my biggest fear, a boring dinner that peters out.

Funny you ask R10. I am the same op who started "I just picked up my wegovy pen" a couple of months back. And considering the shit hasn't worked for me, I Just might be wearing a caftan.

Spend the $900 on getting refreshed so you look great ahead of your big day. Maybe some fillers if you'd benefit from them. Have them all say "He doesn't look a day over 40!"

BOTH sides of a broken family getting together for the first time?!? Just make sure you don't serve any DARK LIQUOR, 'cause those families with turn ALL THE WAY UP!

Hey Op, another thing: use the money of the Dj and hire a photographer . Sure, everyone takes pictures now, but he will concentrate on you and getting good pictures of the party.

Baked potato bar.

This is my idea for my cake, minus one tier. I don't think I need that much cake.

A DJ doesn't have to play dance music. A nice Bossa move vibe from the DJ throughout the party would be nice

A 3-tier cake? Whattaya, marrying yourself…?

Wouldn’t a sheet cake be more discreet?

[quote]My 50th Birthday party is coming up in May and I am planning a big shindig for my family and friends to get together. It's really not about me

It couldn't be any less about your family and friends. Nor any more about you and your 5-hour Florentine birthday bash.

It would cost about the same to hire a small bossa nova cover band for a few hours. I feel like that would be a more appropriate and memorable experience for a family-heavy outdoor 50th birthday party.

Put "40" atop the cake like a true DLounger

OP I'm amazed that someone with your atrocious grammar and writing skills has the earning power to afford such a "shindig" as you called it.

If your family and friends can afford to stay at a resort or nice hotel for a night or two, make reservations if you haven't already. My favourite cousin and his wonderful wife did just that for their wedding party of 50 (they'd be together a decade and decided to legalize it). The food, service and guests were wonderful, but the DJ was awful; today's DJs are deaf! The music was so loud it scared the wits out of Oakley the Golden Retriever and sent me fleeing for a quieter area - outside. Fortunately it was in Whistler, which is magical but expensive - I paid $22 in full for two drinks, one of which was a Shirley Temple made with a Luxardo maraschino cherry.

DJ's are tacky. Get a 3 or 4 piece jazz combo. That cake is WAY too large. Take off 3 layers. 5 hours is too long. 4 hours is enough. I hope you weren't being literal when you mentioned the open bar cocktail HOUR. Keep the bar OPEN for the entire party. Serve wine with dinner. Champagne with the cake. Forget the decorations, "masculine" or not, as well as the centerpieces. Waste of money. Have fun. You must be well thought of to have guests fly in for a 50th birthday party.

[quote] It's really not about me,

Sure, Jan.

I find your narcissism exhausting, OP.

Get over yourself.

For everyone suggesting a band, there is no room. The terraces themselves a relatively small. If you look at the link you’ll see what I mean.

The bar is open all night and I’m paying for a three course dinner. The entire thing is $14,000, no joke. I’ve worked and paid off half already. The rest I’ll charge and work off. I’m hoping my dad cuts me a big check - I’m gonna need it.

The cake is fine with two tiers. The picture is just to get an idea. Thanks for the recommendation about centerpieces r25. I like hearing that anything is a waste of money at this point so I can scratch it off my list.

People do like me but it’s really an excuse for most to get to Italy. I don’t even pretend to believe people are coming JUST for me - except my mom, dad and brother. Half are local friends, expat friends here in Italy.

[Quote] There is a cocktail hour with an open bar I am providing with finger foods

Make sure you have something for the vegans as they won’t eat fingers.

OP, don't listen to these vile cunts. I think you're doing a great mitzvah, and I completely understand the impulse to want to bring your family together more than anything. I hope you get your birthday wish and get this one memorable event with everyone you love not hating each other at one time in a beautiful setting. Godspeed, and Happy Birthday.

Have you selected the Angel Terrace? It looks fabulous. Gorgeous cake.

You may have to play it by ear re DJ and dancing.

People at a sort-of reunion will have plenty to occupy themselves for five hours. And if some people leave earlier you can crank up your playlist and have get the holdouts dancing if that’s what you want.

Great gift for your family. They'll enjoy themselves. Good for you.

Will you be doing the Chicken Dance? Macarena?

DJs scare me.

I agree with the up post - 6-11pm is a looong time, but it may be appropriate. I presume people are flying to Florence for this? That is a lot of money they are spending.

I would get a DJ - primarily because they have tons of music at their disposal and they can play the right music and get people up and dancing. Plus their collections are usually huge.

You have enough stuff to worry about then to have a set of music that isn't setting the right mood or you have to shuffle through is annoying.

Also a DJ acts as an emcee for the party - making announcements, etc.

You're going to be VERY busy trying to get to talk to 40 guests. That leaves you about 3-5 minutes per guest (excluding time eating, bathroom, cutting cake, getting drinks, etc.).

You're going to have ZERO time to pay attention to the music - if you want to actually talk to people. Trust me - you're going to have ZERO time for anything besides being the host.

Gurl just hire an escort and get a frozen Peppridge Farm Cake from Walmart and call it a night.

Nice looking venue, OP. $350 a head seems they better go all out for you. Don't bother for $900 for a DJ. Get a videographer for yourself, the memory of turning 50. The house should have a sound system out there to play soft cocktail&dinner music. You don't have room for dancing. Use a house sound. Hours? Cocktail hour, dinner ... think about cutting event to four hours. Use house centerpieces for your centerpieces, they all get thrown away after the event anyway, so money is lost. Stick gold-glitter 50 on sticks in rosemary, you'll be fine. Cake? Not needed. Have house clear tables, set plated cake slices .... or small cakes ..... and have 'em wheel in one SMALL cake for you to ceremoniously cut and thank your guests for coming. Make your guests your star. Have house staff two additional staff just for your event, to wander room with water, wine, champagne with cake. You're buying the event, get what you are used to and want. What you're doing, is lovely for your family & friends.

[quote] Cake? Not needed.

Three words that should NEVER be put together!!

OP, a thought overnight: do check with the banquet manager and find out if the Hotel Calimala has other bookings on the other open terraces the evening of your event. Of course you’ll be told your event will receive their utmost attention, but there will be no surprises for you if other outdoor events are going on nearby.

A DJ? Really, for a dinner party on the Angel Terrace you don’t need one, don’t need dancing. Use the money for something else …. check with the hotel for some amenities … at table have a small gift bag for each guest …. you know the gym or health spa will have some trinkets, a memory of Florence …. better, something lovely, perhaps a small glass or metal Florentine Lily, or a simple paperweight encasing the look-alike iris that is much loved by Florentines and found throughout the city. Or simple embossed soap, a candle. You know, something simple to take home.

I kind of agree that for a 50th birthday party you're not likely to see a lot of dancing in that age group, but it all depends on the crowd.

Actually there are not a lot of pics of the Angel Terrace on the website that I could find. Just a long narrow outdoor terrace - is there any room for dancing or a DJ? I don't see it.

OP What will happen if it rains?

Do not hire a photographer. I attended a small wedding (35 people) and the photographer must have taken 50 pictures of each guest because what else are they going to take pics of with such a small group?

It got so annoying that people were actually hiding from him.

Hire an italian opera signer to come in and preform one, two songs, max - maybe after dinner and before cake. It would be a nice interlude for guests to focus on something other than each other and will give everyone something to talk about.

Oh my Gosh, such great ideas and advice from everyone. Thank you r38, r42 and r43. DL can be such a crapshoot of either getting good solid advice or 50 posts of people just shooting you down. I like the idea of the singer.

Outside there are four terraces - two small higher terraces that flank either side of the long angel terrace. My party will be in the Angel Terrace with the open bar on the Signoria Terrace. The other terrace will have regular dining. I’m assigned two waitstaff AND and event manager and bartender.

If rain is scheduled, the party moves indoors to the dinner club.

I think if you’re going high brow with the opera singer then you need to go a little low brow and hire a male stripper too.

In all things, balance.

I don't like the idea of a singer. If people want to eat or talk they may feel like that they can't interrupt the singer

I love a centerpiece that makes an entrance.

For centerpieces, maybe do something with lemons. They are cheap, adds a pop of color, and very Tuscan.

It's your party, so everything I'm suggesting is just an opinion.

I would veto the idea of a DJ. Your guests are mostly the wrong age for a DJ. DJs almost always crank the music higher than is appropriate for the venue. If I were on a rooftop in Florence, seeing people I rarely see, or have just met, on a trip of a lifetime, the very LAST thing I would want would be music assaulting my ears, forcing me to shout or shriek to ask my tablemates if they had had good flights, or if they were planning a trip to the Uffizi. . Moreover, it sounds as if your guests are a mix of Italians and Americans of different generations. What possible music preferences would they have in common? Soft background music (could be Italian pop or American jazz) at a volume that is easy to talk over would be the way to go.

I would probably encourage guests to get and mingle with other tables in between courses. 4 hours is a long time to sit in one spot, and with 40 guests, there should be plenty of interesting personalities. Tell your guests to grab a glass of wine and say hi to people at one of the adjacent tables.

Given the views of the Duomo in the background, rather than have a wandering photographer or videographer, have one pre-vetted stationary area for people to go for a single souvenir photo of the evening with Florence as the backdrop. A fancy cake would mean setting aside a fairly substantial part of the narrow room for an item that just sits and takes up space. All chatter will have to cease while candles are lit and you blow out candles - then there will be a long wait for cake to be cut and distributed. If the restaurant has an assortment of nice pastries or desserts, you can have one brought to you with a candle, people can sing to you, and then everyone can quickly be served the pre-plated desserts that they chose for themselves at the beginning of the evening.

The party and the venue sound like a lovely idea, and certainly would be the event of a lifetime for you as well as many of your guests.

Is it possible that I just scrolled through and read this entire thread and none of you gay men suggested a [italic]pianist?[/italic]

OMG, OP -- this venue is just crying for gay piano bar music. If the musician can't get a real piano up there, bring an electronic one that can be made to sound like a real piano, and play softly and sweetly (and gayly?) in the background.

And someone versatile enough to play some "dance" music if asked.

Happy Birthday, and have a blast!

PS Europeans tend to dine SLOWLY, and restaurant service is usually leisurely, so I wouldn't be surprised if dessert were just being wheeled out at 10 pm

Given your time frame, people will probably be served cocktails between 6-7 with some sort of antipasto available on the tables. Your primo piatto would probably make its appearance at 7. (probably a small dish of pasta). At 7:45 you'd probably be getting your secondo piatto - maybe a bit of chicken, fish, or veal, with a side of a nice vegetable. At 9 pm. that would all be cleared, and the waiters might bring a platter of cheeses and fruits (formaggio e frutta). Then at 9:45 would be the cake and/or slices of other desserts. Finally, maybe around 10:30, there would be caffe, possibly with a side of some sort of digestivo (grappa, or something similar).

Yay, letsh have a Penisht

[quote]A fancy cake would mean setting aside a fairly substantial part of the narrow room for an item that just sits and takes up space.

Also, please, if you must have a cake, NO FONDANT!

So it's a solid no on the DJ idea, so that makes me feel loads better. That was the main reason I started the thread. I have a play list in mind of late 70s/80s dance music I remember from being a kid and spending time at family reunions. I would want into reference the 50 years I have spent here. Think Earth Wind and Fire, Kool and the Gang, Heatwave, Shaka, Prince mixed with Tame Impala, Air, Empire of the Sun, Phoenix. The song below is on my mood board. My uncle also told me that for some reason as a toddler, I was obsessed with KC and the Sunshine Band's "Keep it Comin' Love." He said every time he played it I would beg him to play it again.

I am still partial to a cake and a "Happy Birthday" moment of blowing out candles. I mean it's 50. Of all the birthday's you celebrate, I really think that is the biggest one, AFTER 1.

Is OP the troll aka Gerg?

Who has dinner at 7.00?

Savages

Dinner isn’t 7pm r57. Most likely 8/8:30. Cocktail or Aperitivo is from 6-8.

OP, Have you alerted the press? Surely you have a contact at Town & Country.

Op, you’ve had great if sometimes conflicting advice. My main point of disagreeing is that 6 to 11 isn’t that long a time so forget that, it will fly by, specially with an open bar. Don’t worry about this.

In fact i would suggest looking at some bar where some of the party survivors may wish to move on to. You’re turning 50, not 80. 11ppm is not that late in Florence.

Finally, it is your 50 anniversar, so t is inevitabili

^Inevitably about you. Nothing’s wrong with that, embrace it (and have a great party)

If you really want your guests to be comfortable and enjoy themselves, start thinking about what you can do to make that happen.

Maybe consider a spot for an after-party for those of your guests who are up for it. Also, perhaps a list of must-see attractions in Florence, advice on public transit, that sort of thing for people who have never been there.

R62, I’m starting to do that stuff now - booking reservations at the Accademia to see the David, reservations at the Uffizi.

Off topic, but the two things I find very American (trust me I was exactly the same before I moved here) about people coming to visit is one, not realizing that Firenze IS Florence. Some of their travel info says Firenze and they think it’s a different location. And two, that Florence is in Tuscany. People say they want to visit Tuscany while they are here. I’m like well you already are. Tuscany is the “state” and Florence is a city in that state.

You hang out with very stupid visitors.

I think your party sounds extremely nice, OP : )

$350 per person seems exceptionally pricey - even with an open bar. But costs have gone up everywhere.

R66 shockingly anything dealing with a hotel in Florence is expensive. I had been looking around everywhere to no avail for a while. There are cheaper options. But it’s just one of those cases of being so tired of looking at so many different places that don’t work and running out of time, that you just throw money at the thing the comes the closest to offering what you want. I regret it in ways because I feel I could have negotiated better.

OP do you get much Italian cock?

A flighty American queen with no good sense at age 50? I doubt it.

He's not a queen, he's dead masc

I’m married r68, I’ll just put that out there. But they didn’t really stop me in NYC. I don’t know of anyone else with experience living here can back me up, but Italian men can be sexy but not sexual. It’s not a hook up culture where you meet a stranger out at night and go home with them. Even on Grindr guys want to meet up for coffee. Plus the language barrier makes it difficult. Knowing how to say “I want to suck you dry” is different than just saying “I like penis in my mouth”. So there’s that. And Italian men’s dicks on anverege are on the smaller side. And if they’re not small they’re comically huge. So my sex drive, which was bordering on addiction in NYC, has petered out to a 3 here.

Just to let everyone know, my party was a huge success. I took a lot of the advice on here. I invited 40 people and 40 people showed it. It was truly a magical night.

R72 did you get a horny birthday BJ? If not, come here and drop your pants (if you're still hot)!

Happy 50th!

Is there an overflow space for Dataloungers that may show up uninvited?

R72 - so - need more details. What went well, what didn't. What were you worried about that turned out fine? What would you have changed, if anything?

How was the food? Did people dance? Any Dynasty-level fights? Any scandals? How was the wait staff and service?

You can't provide all of these details about your party at the top of the thread and just tell us it was fine afterward and no other details.

Yes, we need to know about whether or not you got a cake, whether or not you got a band, etc.

It went “best case scenario” well. Ten days out there was rain forecast off and on. As the day approached the forecast changed and it was perfectly sunny. I kept it as simple as possible. The view. Panorama was the star.

I was trying to take it in but I was anxious everyone would enjoy themselves so I wasn’t 100% present. But it was a perfect mix of friends and family. People connected with others, made new friends. Exchanged contacts. People I hoped would like each other hit it off. Family members told me it was the best birthday they’ve ever gone to. The setting was just beyond.

I was worried that the time frame was too long, but by the end I had to wrangle people to leave because they had to clean up. I was worried about music but I did an AI assisted Spotify playlist of 70s/80s - Diana Ross, Stevie Wonder, EWF, etc… - about 50 songs that just shuffled all night. It was perfectly fine. I wasted too much energy worrying about the music.

4 tables. 10 people each - main family, cousins and friends, expat friends, and a table of 30 year olds. Everyone got along. It was great. Absolutely beautiful perfect night.

Good for you, op, glad everything went well. Good memories, and happy birthday .

I'm happy thet everything worked out for you OP. Next time, if there a ppear to be hangers-on-ers, offer them a nearby location for an after-party and be prepared with a source of goos music, a spotify playlisgt will suffice, and a small amount of finger-food, and floppy furniture to let whoever shows just chill out any way they choose, Like at your own hime if its nearby. Be prepared for no one to come, but also be prepped for a handful of guests as well.