Eurovision Song Contest 2025

First semi starts in five minutes and I have two job interviews in the morning, fucking kill me.

Anyway, the gays this year are: Austria, Belgium, Croatia, Czechia, Malta, Norway. I have strong suspicions about Cyprus too, but you know what they're like over there.

I'm happy Norway made it to the final.

Hard to reach the heights of those glory days of "Bing Tiddle Tiddle Bong," "Pif Paf Pof" and "My Lovely Horse."

The Norwegian twink with his most Eurovision song ever went through, no surprise there. The shocks qualifiers for me were Portugal with their mid song and San Marino with their ad jingle. I have rewatched the Cyprus guy delivering that high note with his butt in the camera a couple of times already, and I'll watch it again later.

Celine Dion must be in really poor shape if she can't even fly to Switzerland for a quick lip sync. That shitty disease must be progressing, I feel bad for her. But at least she called in with an apology.

Celine Dion Makes Surprise Appearance During First 2025 Eurovision Semi-Final:

R5 It all comes full circle!

Second semi tonight! Already cringing at the booing Israel's going to receive. They lifted the flag rule this year, so expect lots and lots of Palestinian flags everywhere.

Czechia is sending an impossibly tall and extremely handsome Slovak homosexual to represent them. He says he wants to find a boyfriend in Basel. Which is super relatable because don't we all just want to find a loaded partner somewhere in Switzerland and live out that Tina Turner life in peace.

I attended in Turin in 2022. Great fun, and I'd love to go again.

Yeah, those pre-Gaza Eurovisions were so much fun. Malmö earlier this week said Fuck No to hosting again if Sweden wins, they still have PTSD from last year. Probably because of the Dutch drama as well.

The Dutch kid is sweet but his song is so 1983.

It's so dated, plus the French parts of his song are just one clichéd phrase after another, making Frenchies everywhere cringe in the process. It's like something specifically made for a language learning class. Lyrics are at the link and you can immediately see what I'm talking about even if you don't speak French yourself.

I hardly paid attention other than Gabry Ponte represented San Marino but he’s Italian. I’m not lol if enough to follow their rules.

“lol if” I meant limber as in they really bend shit

I've always hated DJs at Eurovision and Ponte is no exception. His Tutta L'Italia "song" is a soulless stadium chant.

Last year was such an annoying shitshow that I think it turned me off from watching forever.

Italy for the win.

Here's a shocker: Kyle is NOT gay. He says he has only been with women, but won't rule out being with a guy in the future. I guess this means he is sexually fluid?

r17 Now that IS a shocker. I saw a Reddit comment where someone with insider info said he all but confirmed he was gay in the group chat all the participants are in.

He's only 19, is my explanation. I also was bisexual at that age. Not that those don't exist, but let's be real now – Kyle ain't one of them, he a showbiz homo through and through. He was basically bred for Eurovision.

R18 He literally says this:

[Quote]Jeg er åpen for forhold med samme kjønn, men per dags dato har jeg kun vært med motsatt kjønn. Jeg skal ikke utelukke noe.

English translation:

I am open to relationships with the same sex, but so far I have only been with the opposite sex. I won't rule out anything.

I mean, yes, that was also true for me at 19. It's not really indicative of anything, other people (i.e. bullies) clocked me as fully gay a decade before that already. And I'm calling it in his case as well. Let's wait a decade and check in with him then, that's all I'm gonna say.

Czechia's ADONXS apparently bombed yesterday's jury/rehearsal show. Sang off key, which is surprising because he nailed all the pre-parties. He came third to last in the audience poll afterwards.

Tonight should be interesting. I'm most excited about Australia, Finland, Britain, and Germany.

I know nothing about this guy. He could be 100% gay or he could be heteroflexible, but the "not ruling out" a same-sex relationship "in the future" statement is a cliché and the safest way for a celebrity to appear both securely hetero to their straight fans *and* open-minded enough to remain appealing to their 'queer' fans. Even Straighty McStraighterson Natalie Portman has used the tired old quote.

One thing is his "official" public statement and quite another his behaviour in the group chat and in those TikToks leading up to ESC week. He and the Austrian homo were basically Sissal's personal twinks during the entire pre-party season. She's the diva representing Denmark that all the gays naturally gravitate to. She got into some hot water last month because she took a snap of those two in her hotel room with her dildo out on the bed next to them. She obviously would never have done that with a straight 19-year-old hanging out with her.

Yawn