Tasteful Friends - relentless hideousness in Michigan

The wine racks are designed to kill alcoholics who over estimate their reach.

The wall mural pairs well with the stairs and this could be a retro 80s vibe, but the rent-a-center furniture has to go.

I’d make wayward go-go boys live in that basement and THINK about what choices led them to Michigan of all god forbidden places.

I think it's pretty cool. Some adjustments needed. At least the price is near realistic. The office though looks like it was decorated by picking up free stuff posted on craigslist.

1538 SQ ft???

The lime green really pulls it all together.

It is undoubtedly hideous but appears to be fixable. Unfortunately the house + location aren't special enough to warrant putting any money into it.

So many ideas. All of them bad.

I'm more curious that this is a condo. It seems to be a big clump of garages with multiple front doors. How novel. How very Ohio.

I don't like glass railings

All of those mirrors and glass everywhere.

It reminds me of an episode of “Miami Vice” where we see the drug kingpin’s lair.

And I fucking HATE that idiotic garage setup of one two car garage then a separate one car garage, both in front of the front door. Like the garage is the list important part of the building.

It's giving "Divorced midlife crisis guy with a coke habit"

I'm getting fat frau who got away with killing her daughter.

What R1 said about the wine racks...Do you lean over the balcony to grab a bottle.

And if you stage a bathroom, do not put the towel rack in the shower.

The crucifix on the wall in one of the bedrooms is one that you get from a funeral home at a Catholic wake. It's either placed against the inside of the coffin lid (if it's an open viewing) or on top of the coffin at a closed viewing.

No room to practice my tap.

Chartreuse and Dove Gray are the avocado green and harvest gold of the early 2000s. Suburban fraus thought it was so sophisticated, but in reality, it was just a sign they watched too much HGTV. Just like their ‘70s counterparts, these colors didn’t age well. Once trendy, they now just scream Property Brothers, with a side of Craigslist 'lightly used' listings.

The square footage is confusing me too, R3. My house is only 200 sq ft smaller, and it's on one story. And it doesn't have all those rooms. The rooms in this house must be small. Or somebody doesn't know how to measure rooms.

Add some Nagel colors, and change the temperature of all the lighting to high CRI and warmish. IT could be very stylish, in that sort of dated style.

R11 and if you do manage to grasp one after performing acrobatics you’ll find the wine’s gone off from all the heat rising up the wall from the back of the refrigerator.

Looks like they poured a LOT of money into this - over-upgraded, but in questionable taste.

This is frau decor - and it cost her husband/partner a mint. I can see her being "this is MY space - let me handle it - I know what I'm doing" - and she just kept spending and spending.

It's unexpected and I do like SOME elements - so it can be fixed, but damn I feel sorry for that man who has the one office to himself. There are so many mistakes.

Low-end furniture EVERYWHERE. You spend all your money on these construction projects and then buy the cheapest shit you can get your hands on.

For a townhome, it looks like a great layout - but JFC.

I looked up the owner - it looks to be a much older (late 60s) Polish woman.

Probably from Poland - now it makes more sense. Eastern European 'glam' - but just shocked it's owned by an older woman, if I'm right.

Then again - she could have had this all done 10-15 years ago with all the Ikea cabinets.

The brown office furniture was a real shock to the system after all that gray.

That's the standard late 20th century Detroit area suburban home.

It's crying out for a Nagel.

Is this located in a colored subdivision?

These people don't understand the Kelvin concept and have blasted 5000K hospital lighting in the whole place. I can't be bothered to look at anything else.

In the south we call that a duplex. A side by side duplex. A hard no for me.

Its crying out for a complete set of Arcoroc Octime

Boring.

Duplexes don't have HOA fees and they have duplexes in the Detroit area. They're sold as "fee simple" units (no common area fees).

This is what briefly was called a "cluster home" development in the 70s. Basically you have condos clustered together in various numbers of units, but thee exteriors look more like houses than condos. The idea was to sell the concept of a condo w/o making it seem like an apartment. This was done where townhouses were not common as condos or private homes. I'm surprised this was built in 1997. Except for the gigantic role of garage stores in the facade, this looks like a cheap, rather sad tract 1970s house.

[quote] Somehow manages to be dull and garish simultaneously

Well put.

I live in California so these RE prices look like fire sales but what's the deal with a HOA of $250/mo? Where's the fucking pool?

How many fake ficus trees does one house need,ffs??

Basement bars are always sad.

The interior is an homage to grey.

I love this part:

“ Entertain like royalty in the finished basement”

I cannot ABIDE a washer/dryer in the kitchen, let alone exposed. It’s so trashy, I had to make sure this wasn’t Buffalo. Or worse, Philadelphia.

The washer/dryer is not in the kitchen. Clearly it's in a laundry room which is just off the kitchen and it has a door to close it off if desired.

[quote]I cannot ABIDE a washer/dryer in the kitchen, let alone exposed.

I have some bad news for you, R33...

He's just posing R35. He probably washes his clothes in his apartment complex's laundry room, when there are any free washers and dryers available.

See, that’s where I’d get found dead with my foot stuck in the water dispenser. The clear path to the wine is to start at the right counter, place left foot in water dispenser, lift yourself up onto the refrigerator top, wipe away film of grease and dust, grab wine bottle, place foot back in water dispenser, fall backwards causing blunt trauma, dying with bad wine and a foot attached to an LG.