What has Matteo Lane done to his face?

And what happened to his husband?

The husband seems to have lasted a hot minute.

And, in that photo, Matteo looks really drugged out.

Somebody sat on it for a long weekend.

His eyes look completely different. He's not nearly as handsome as he was--he looks shellacked.

He is amusing but mostly in small doses. He can get insufferable at times.

The fact he's branded himself as being very ethnic is funny considering his actual name is Matthew Lane. His dad is muy blanco and it's his mom who is part Italian/Mexican.

It's going to be sad to watch his decline, he was so handsome.

Something about his eyes.

I don’t find him all that funny but I do like all his thirst photos.

A little of Matteo goes a long way. I used to think he was funny, but that has long since faded.

Plus his forearm tattoos are hideous. Remove them or wear a long sleeve shirt so that we don't have to look at them.

His friend, Nick, is total weirdo and not at all funny. The husband, oh Jesus.

Hair plugs and Botox? Poor Matty seems to be falling victim to the middle-aged gay vanity crisis. I wish he hadn’t—I agree that he looked much better before.

That buzzed hair looks muy trashy.

Usually male eye lifts are vertical, with the dreaded "round eye" result (think Bob Dole or Kenny Rogers). His looks horizontal.

He's aiming for "sloe-eyed vamp."

He looks Special Needs

Oh, lord...the friend Nick is such a gawdamned annoying idiot. So fucking stupid.

He’s just getting older

Frozen Marcia Cross forehead for starters.

He'll probably look good again in six months to a year.

People always get too much done, and then they make the mistake of going out in public looking like that.

He looks terrible. Fillers?

“A bungee jump with the elastic tied to the back of your head should get that back into shape.”

He looks sad. I mean his eyes look sad. I have been a fan for a while and actually saw him when he was doing a nationwide tour. I hope he pulls it together.

too much tape

I think he’s still cute.

An obvious eye lift that hasn't quite settled yet.

Better get that thyroid checked and cut down on the a.m. blow.

And the botox.

No, Matty.

No.

He's handsome. I love the name Matteo.

Eye lift and he looks 16, 25 and 60 at the same time.

He did get hair plugs, that was something he talked about in his act.

He did an episode on America's Test Kitchen with cutie Dan Souza, but I can't find it on Youtube anymore. I wonder if it was downvoted to oblivion. I certainly didn't need to see that.

I am no expert, but I have an interest in this subject.

A few things happen,

1.a patient goes in to a consultation for one procedure but the Dr recommends an additional procedure to balance out the rhinoplasty like a chin implant.

2.The patient becomes addicted to the transformation along with the pain medications.

The patient can never be satisfied with the end result, something else always needs to be fixed.

3.Dr's specialize in specific procedures and patients can not go to the same guy for everything.

The language people use to describe this is the tell, they will say their nose needs to be fixed instead of saying they desire to have a rhinoplasty.

Dude had an eye lift? An upper face-lift? And implants installed in the cheek or chin?

[quote]He did an episode on America's Test Kitchen with cutie Dan Souza, but I can't find it on YouTube anymore. I wonder if it was downvoted to oblivion. I certainly didn't need to see that.

I saw it. He was mostly plugging his cookbook. And here it is!

Some of this could just be Ozempic face and being high, but something has happened in the jawline/cheek area for sure.

He is the most basic of the basic gays. Of course he would go down this route.

His whole schtick is being an obnoxious gay person, as if being gay gives you a free pass to embody obnoxiousness.

The fact that Mariah Carey, Patti LaBelle, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, and Jennifer Hudson are his "favorite singers" tells me all I need to know (or moreover, what I'd rather not know).

[quote] The fact he's branded himself as being very ethnic is funny considering his actual name is Matthew Lane

Is funny, no?

Buzzing his hair off like that was a major mistake.

Nah he looks better with short hair.

Who?

Would you rather go down Matteo Lane or up Hershey Highway?

Always thought he had a handsome face - but the constant thirst traps, the tattoos and the heels/lifts (he looks very short) - just turn me off.

He's a step down energy-wise from Mario Cantone - but I feel like they are very similar in a lot of ways. (I also find Mario to be good looking).

It won't be long before he gets the Kristin Davis Joker grin.

I don’t find his act all that funny. But I do like his thirst traps because I am a ho.

[quote] The fact that Mariah Carey, Patti LaBelle, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, and Jennifer Hudson are his "favorite singers" tells me all I need to know (or moreover, what I'd rather not know).

R34 Who “should” be his favorite singers?

Matteo Lane's friend, Nick, should not be seen or heard. He is not funny, engaging or appealing in the least. A microphone and camera in front of his face does him no favors whatsoever.

I can tolerate Nick when he and Matteo are playing off each other. But Nick has his own YouTube channel and and can't sit through more than 30 seconds of his mincing silliness.

An extremely wearying sorta’ gal.

Who is Nick exactly? What’s his full name?

And who was Matteo’s husband?

Nick is a real estate agent in NYC who is Matteo's best friend. As far as the husband, who knows. He may still be around and just not want to be on Matteo's videos or they may have broken up.

This is the husband. If you think this piece of meat is 100% faithful when Matteo is out on his tours, you need your head examined.

just resting bottom face

He's Chinese now.

Ching Chong Dong Wong.

He looks like that guy who killed the CEO.

I agree with all that say he is funny is small doses, but that is true of many comics. Could you watch Seinfeld’s act for two nights in a row?

He is funny but plays to gay stereotypes (which can be funny, but again, in small doses).

Nick is Karen Walker. Amusing as a comedic foil, but needs the “straight” man to bounce off of.

I wouldn't sit through on of his performances. It's only when he speaks in a calm and conversational manner that I can sometimes listen and even enjoy him. In small does. And as R52 suggests, this is usually when paired with a straight man (in one sense or another.)

i like the dyke comedian he works with now and then. She's the only funny lesbian I've ever seen.

He has V For Vendetta face.

He's like most nelly bottoms. A little goes a long way.

Joke Smile. John Galliano face.

JOKER.

We've reached the saturation point for mindless online attention seeking. It's become a zero sum game where everyone behind the mask of dusk lips and humblebragging knows in their heart that they look crazy, but they have to keep it up. Because modern life isn't really about anything else. Maybe competing for attention is all human life has ever really been about 🤔

*duck lips

He can be funny but he’s falling into that trap of relatively young people messing up their faces or bodies with cosmetic procedures. You end up looking like Mickey Rourke if you aren’t careful. Also, his standup schtick seems played out. He should try for a supporting part on a tv show or do a play if he wants longevity.

Yes R60 ! He's filled his lips for "trout pout". A lot of porn guys get their lips plumped. It's feminizing but they think it looks good. "The most expressive facial feature isn't the eyes, it's the lips" - Diane vF

Trixie Mattel told the story on one of her shows that she had invited Matteo to her house to hang out one afternoon, and he brought his own serving of chicken and broccoli and ate it because he couldn't deviate from his fitness routine in the slightest way. Being dedicated is one thing, but that's just rude IMO.

It looks like he's had some work done around his eyes.

They're a lot less droopy and more "open" now - eyebrow lift?

Attention! Attention! This is Miss Schuster. Please listen very carefully. A swarm of killer bees is coming this way.

You just know he's a pig bottom and has a loose and sloppy hole

Shouldn’t he be acting by now?

I think he's ready to leave Nick behind. There's no humor or joy in their videos anymore. Just uncomfortable.

[quote] Attention! Attention! This is Miss Schuster. Please listen very carefully. A swarm of killer bees is coming this way.

Oh, [italic]dear.[/italic]

The actual grammatically incorrect line is: "A swarm of killer bees ARE coming this way."

He seems more annoyed by Nick now, R68, more than anything.

Who?

Just please do not translate that last name, I don't even know what it would be anyway. DL is the first place I ever heard his name.

😘 ✌️

Don’t translate “Lane”?

It means…

Lane.