Women in gay men's kink, cruising bars

I'm a woman & I'm not there. I've read about this. To the degree that women are unusually present/present in a disruptive way, I'm sorry. Don't know why.

Where else do they get to masquerade as queer and gawk at us like circus animals?

OP is posting from the year 2002.

They never bothered me at all when there were gay bars all over but I thought there were only a handful of legacy bars left in the big cities? And no, R3. OP is posting from the 50's

There weren't a lot of women around in gay bars when I was livikng in SF. I found it weird and not as fun.

I have an issue with straight women and their friends going to these spaces to watch the “freak show” but I’ve never seen an issue with gay women.

I have a British F friend (kinda leather-friendly) who hangs out at the Eagle, and I asked her what she gets out of it. Her response was "I get to hang out in an intensely sexual environment and feel absolutely safe."

For what that's worth.

Women say that gays bars are where they can go and not get constantly hit on.

Yes, R8. In other words: It's all about them.

They can be rejected for something other than being fat and ugly.

[quote]For what that's worth.

Not much.

I say sit your nude ass on their table, pull out the lube and ask the first passing guy to fist you.

I do, R6. They're there on nights not for them.

Do you think you would be welcome as a man at some lesbian night or bar?

What makes them think they are?

Girls?? EW! They have COOTIES!

They do, r13. They stink up what's supposed to be an environment of male pheromones

[quote]Though various researchers have investigated the possibility of their existence, no pheromonal substance has ever been demonstrated to directly influence human behavior in a peer reviewed study.

That's because the never interviewed me while I was smelling a guy's balls, r15.

Your ball sniffing is pseudoscience, but I bet it's still fun!

I've been to gay bars outside of my area with my (then) GBF, and a sibling, who is gay, I'm bi, F. I was just hanging out and not trying to gawk, with my friend/family. Only once was I taken to a leather bar, & I'll never make THAT mistake again. I didn't know I was getting a show along with a drink. The other bars were more friendly gayborhood bars and no one seemed to mind, ,FWIW OP, what gay bars are you speaking of? They are a dying species, sadly- ESPECIALLY after the pandemic. There's 1 in my specific area, until you go to Weho or Long Beach. ONE. It takes everyone, because it is the ONE bar around.

Last year, 3 women who were NOT pretending to be men were at the sex party in The Hole at Jackhamner at IML.

They all fashion harnesses over their shirts to pass the requirements that “fetish gear only”.

They definitely killed the vibe.

Gay men need to unite and grab them by their pussies. After all, the cunts have entered gay men’s spaces and they deserve to be tested as such.

Finger all their holes with lube and they will learn their lesson.

A friendlier gay bar for whom, R18?

[quote]Women say that gays bars are where they can go and not get constantly hit on.

The worst is that now some straight men are going to gay bars.... to hit on those women.

The best bars are the ones who show hard-core XXX gay porn. That'll keep the lookie-loos away.

R8 I'm sorry and that's our problem because?

As long as you don't bring your bachelorette party to bars without drag queens, stay out of the darkrooms and other sex spaces, and don't turn me into a zoo exhibit, I'm cool with whoever wants to be in a gay bar.

I still don't get why we're supposed to tolerate women in gay male spaces. Lesbians don't with men.

There are no lesbian bars anymore, r25.

[quote]I still don't get why we're supposed to tolerate women in gay male spaces. Lesbians don't with men.

In related news, the current number of women's bars remaining in the US is...12.

R26 Is that gay men's fault?

Maybe lesbians shouldn't be so damn cheap.

R26 aren't lesbians far more tolerated in straight spaces than gays?

FINGER

FUCK

THE

STRAIGHT

WOMEN

WITHOUT

LUBE

Most of the straight women fakely claim to be queen because they feel that gives them a license to invade.

They have pussies?

Grab them by them

Lift them up real high

When they shriek and beg say “get out here cunts”

Scream in triumph as they stumble out the door

women in "kink" and "cruising" gay bars are a bonus, making it kinkier. Bonus if they are lesbians.

That would certainly be odd. Lesbian and queen women always appear to be the scolds trying to cancel gay male kink and nudity at Pride. This would be out of character for them.

that's surely an american context. America is filled with dreary kill joys of all sexual orientations.

R35 aren't lesbians and queen women the ones complaining about Misogny! and getting groped by gay men? As If

why do you keep typing "queen women"?

Queer R37. Autocorrect and what a stupid label anyhow

Gay or lesbian bars of any kind are dropping in number. The lesbian bars are all but dead and true gay bars have been steadily declining.

The younger generation is not as interested in drinking and not interested in limiting their socializing to only gay men or lesbians.

And what about a queer queen? Am I not welcome?

R39 that's not what I've heard younger gay men say. They want a space for themselves and the outside world is more hostile to them than so called queer women.

They ruined Folsom Street.

R28 ask any gay bar owner and they'll admit that lesbian nights are a financial loss.

I don’t know if it “bothers’ me like coco Peru bother, but yeah, not my scene

Mixed clubs and lounges are fine for this. I'd question why any woman wants to be in any space where the primary function of the place is for men to seek out sex with other men.

OP is this you?

Does anyone still go to a gay bar?

This is still one of the funnier things I’ve read about a girl going to a gay sex party.

R8 It’s invasive. Gay bars were made for gay people to escape from straight people, not for straight women to escape straight men.

Straight women, especially in groups, at a gay bar is like a man walking into a woman’s bathroom.

are there still hen parties at the Eagle?

Second r45. Based on many of these responses it seems even many gay men are not understanding the difference between a gay bar and a cruising/kink gay bar. Think tinder v sniffies.

No, we can. You just want permission and agreement for your dated misogyny that you're not getting.

R52 of course you CAN but your sense of entitlement is neither welcome nor wanted. They really should start charging you bitches something like $50 cover charge, with free entrance for men.

I'm male, and you're only proving my point.

R54 You must be one of those princess tinymeats who brings hens to the Eagle. You may as well have a pussy yourself.

Even if were true, it's a cheap shot to move to personal attacks instead of focusing on the topic at hand. You know what you're doing.

R30:

Google: Fag Hag dear

What is a lesbian bar even like? Are boundaries stated?

R3: From what I've heard, it's worse now thanks to the Rupaul Drag Race crowd

It sure is scary out there with all those vaginas. You can always pretend it's 1977 again from the safety of your basement, dear.

Lesbians have a different culture of lifestyle and interests so I can understand why lesbian nightlife is non-existent.

If I was a lesbian and wanted to meet and mingle with women, I’d join some sorts of sports activity or like a painting class or a library or things you’d see on EventBrite.

Also, motorcycle lesbians have died out or gotten older and so that’s who I always assumed dominated the lesbian bars.

I don’t care - I want the men; that’s my focus.

[quote]They really should start charging you bitches something like $50 cover charge, with free entrance for men.

I've read a couple articles about this and two points were made: these bars want to make money so they're not going to want to turn out paying customers. And unless it's a men-only bar, how can you police who is a lesbian or not.

I think that's the point, R64. Lesbians aren't paying enough to keep their own establishments open. And straight women are used to free ladies nights and men buying them drinks.

R65 So why aren't all of these bars being made men-only?

Because it's against the law, Einstein.

R67 So how can you keep women out legally then, Einstein.

R68 steep cover fees and no heels policies. Women have ladies nights where they get in for free and men pay. Why not the opposite in gay bars?

Straight women is gay men’s spaces are worse than rats or cockroaches 🪳

R26 could it be that there are fewer lesbian bars because there are fewer lesbians than gay men in the general population? Over 1500 species have homosexual organisms, and in almost all of them male homosexuality is more common than female homosexuality, so it makes sense that it’s the same for humans.

R71 I think it's because women have a lower sex drive in general and because women are socialized to be passive, so they don't have the same drive to go out looking for sex.

R3 your disbelief makes it sound like you think this isn't a real issue anymore when the likeliest explanation is that this is the same problem being experienced by new generations

Don't you like seeing your mother at the eagle?

Don't let them in. Simple. Say it's a private party.

Women in gay bars is almost as bad as women writing gay porn.

R75 The bar owners can't afford to turn away business.

R77 Two things. Women don't as much as men. Second they can't afford for 20 times more pissed off queens taking their business elsewhere permanently. Sometimes, you have to have the balls to do the right thing for your loyal customers and treasured friends.

A lot of it is the fault of these stupid femme queens who bring their gaggle of women with them

General gay bars are one thing. We lost those long ago. But cruising bars are a whole other world.

I have a simple rule: If gay porn is playing inside the place, women (or any variety therein) do NOT belong.

At the Stud in SF many times, invited by the best bartender (my friend). At the N'Touch for dancing. Went to the Lion Pub on Divisadero. And some over the top dive in the 'Loin.

Did not go to Jaguar Books of course.

What halcyon days! and daze.

There's no excuse for it.

Op didn’t say gay bars. He said kink bars and orgies.

Women are a curse and a pox

Yes.

Folsom Street Fair BONER KILLERS. Nobody wants you there. Stupid bitches.

They're a god-damned hazard in a gay bar.

There have been numerous bars where straight women accuse the straight bartenders of harassment, effectively bringing their straight problems to a gay bar.

Women are a cancer

If women want to be around gay people, let them go to a lesbian bar.

Leave us alone.

R89 Straight women don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of dykes.

Dykes disgust straight women. That's why they gravitate towards gay men.

Gay men are disgusted by straight women

Millennials drink every day.

Horrible. What next gays invading straight bars and spaces?

How odd that a bunch of women who hate men keep coming to bars filled with men.

Somewhat OT: I was a drag queen cigarette girl selling consessions at nightclubs when I first moved to L.A. My best customers and tippers were at a lesbian bar... I think it was called The Love Lounge.

Out of drag, I was sometimes invited to meet lesbian friends when they were hanging out at The Palms. Was never met with hostility there.

I think some of you are overstating lesbians' hostility to the occassional male in their midsts. When you live in a major city you come to expect a little bit of everything, and it doesn't faze you. If it does, you're not ready to live there.

Men's only gay fetish bars only exist in big cities R96. Every group is entitled to their own space if they want. You never see men invading women's gyms or bitching about discrimination if they wont let them work out there. Why is that ok? Are men's penises that scary? Why must some people insist in invading a tiny had full of spaces when they are not welcome?

And the few lesbian bars left are invaded by fake trans and straights looking for a 3 way. By fake trans I'm talking about men who would never go to a gay bar but want to stare and stalk lesbians in their safe spaces and maybe wear eyeliner...

A few years ago I read about some cunt who was suing a bathhouse for discrimination because they wouldn't allow her in. Does anyone know what happened to that?

R98 and here the dykes are fighting gay men.