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My nieces are bullying me. Please help!

I have three absolutely horrible nieces who make Cinderella's wicked step sisters look good.

These hideous beasts are about 10 years younger than me, and they have bullied me for years. They are my older sister's kids.

They would tease me and make up songs about me, calling me a nerd and saying that I have breasts like a woman. (I don't)

They have always made my life hell, but this past Thanksgiving, they really did something horrible.

I live in my parents basement, and my sister and her family stayed over at the family home for Thanksgiving weekend.

One evening, as I was leaving the shower in just my towel, they ambushed me.

These bitches got their younger brother (my nephew), a strapping young man built like a shit brickhouse, to hold me still while they marched me in front of the family. He's 6 feet 2, masculine with shimmering blond hair, and belongs to the Delta Delta Delta fraternity in college. For the life of me, I can't understand why he's single. He says he's just focusing on school for now.

Anyway, as sweat glistened off of his bulging muscles, he paraded me into the living room where everyone was sitting, and yanked off my towel!

These nasty girls pointed at my puny cocklet and laughed. To my horror, so did the rest of my family! I heard comments like, "Look at how puny it is" and "How humiliating."

I was mortified!

After what seemed like an eternity of being ridiculed, my strapping young nephew released me, and I ran into my room to put on my clothes.

Needless to say, the rest of the weekend was quite awkward.

I really don't know how I can face everyone during Christmas. And I'm terrified that these witches will try to humiliate me again with one of their "pranks."

I'm a divorced gay man. Please help me.

by Anonymousreply 19December 16, 2024 3:31 AM

Find a skyscraper and throw yourself off the top floor. If that doesn't work, find a taller skyscraper.

by Anonymousreply 1December 16, 2024 2:30 AM

Home Alone 2 is on. It's really bad

by Anonymousreply 2December 16, 2024 2:40 AM

Kill the little monsters!!

by Anonymousreply 3December 16, 2024 2:41 AM

[quote] He's 6 feet 2, masculine with shimmering blond hair, and belongs to the Delta Delta Delta fraternity in college.

That’s a sorority.

-79/100.

by Anonymousreply 4December 16, 2024 2:44 AM

This is obviously fiction. If it wasn’t, you’d deserve to have your ass kicked by every man, woman and child on the planet.

I cannot imagine being such a pussy.

by Anonymousreply 5December 16, 2024 2:46 AM

"This is obviously fiction"

r5 You are one sharp tack!

by Anonymousreply 6December 16, 2024 2:57 AM

This was funny once, OP, but it went on for too long.

Everything has its season, and yours expired.

by Anonymousreply 7December 16, 2024 3:01 AM

The “strapping young man” description must have been lifted from Barbara Cartland. And the term is “built like a brick shithouse” not shit brickhouse. Overall, 1 out of 10.

by Anonymousreply 8December 16, 2024 3:10 AM

Give them each a beautiful Easter bonnet!!

by Anonymousreply 9December 16, 2024 3:13 AM

Sounds like naughty nephew wants his way with you. After everyone goes to bed, soak in a warm tub. Then splash on some Jean Nate. Thoroughly pre lube. Slip on your best shorty kimono. Sneak into nephews room and present hole.

by Anonymousreply 10December 16, 2024 3:16 AM

OP, your story is trite and jejune.

by Anonymousreply 11December 16, 2024 3:17 AM

[quote] I have three absolutely horrible nieces who make Cinderella's wicked step sisters look good.

Kick them in the cunt bone!

by Anonymousreply 12December 16, 2024 3:18 AM

Uncle Gay, we aren’t going to be ignoredddd.

by Anonymousreply 13December 16, 2024 3:20 AM

I'd call them up and belch at them over the phone myself.

by Anonymousreply 14December 16, 2024 3:22 AM

The saddest part of this story is that a lot of people are this spineless and put up with family treating them badly.

Of course, this story is silly. But, being the family scapegoat and target of bullying is not uncommon among gay people.

by Anonymousreply 15December 16, 2024 3:22 AM

Impostor shit brick house troll! Only men gather round and laugh at the puny cocklet in the authentic stories. Also, Colton and Packer are missing.

by Anonymousreply 16December 16, 2024 3:25 AM

Obviously, this is not an example of "Write what you know."

by Anonymousreply 17December 16, 2024 3:25 AM

What a waste of time. OP wasn't gang-raped by a succession of unwashed ranch hands and there was no mention of a "quivering filth trench".

Study up and try harder next time, OP.

by Anonymousreply 18December 16, 2024 3:25 AM

OP made appropriate use of "shit brick house" and a "puny cocklet," a stealth allusion to being "Uncle Bottom," and receives extra credit for the sly use of a Serial Mom reference at the very end.

Overall grade = 3/10.

by Anonymousreply 19December 16, 2024 3:31 AM
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