Mark Consuelos Named First-Ever Stuart Weitzman Men’s Global Brand Ambassador

Mutton dressed as lamb.

Who?

Impressive physique. By the amount of work, abstinence and deprivation it takes to look like that post-50 is just not worth it.

Stuart Weitzman - never heard of it. Mark Consuelos - would do - but I'm too old. He's half Italian and looks it. When I was in my 20s and 30s I liked to fuck tight Italian daddies in their 50s. Or get fucked by them. Hot look.

1) It's his job to look good - he has the money to do it and he can write it off his taxes as an expense.

2) His wife doesn't eat - no really. There's articles online about what she eats in 1 day. It's very very little. I'm sure she doesn't allow much unhealthy eating in that house.

3) He's VERY SHORT. It's much easier to get a buff look when your muscles are shorter. Online they say he's 5'8" - but I don't buy that. He's like 5'6.5" - and then wears high heels.

I imagine he and his stick insect wife are no fun to be around as neither enjoys food.

I've found people who starve themselves to be unpleasant and controlling.

I met him in college when he was working as a stripper.

Extremely short. Five foot five if he’s an inch.

Wee.

I saw “Mark Consuelos…ambassador” and honestly thoughtTrump had appointed him to Japan or France or something.

R9 - I believe that. His wife is 5'2 and wears 3-4 inch heels. He's around the same height as her when they stand up - just a little bit taller.

He's a handsome man - no doubt. But that's tiny. The end of his nose always bothered me - not sure if a nosejob was involved. And you know you're too skinny when you smile and you have multiple lines - like there's just not enough fat or skin to do the job so it looks like his face has to stretch.

They do seem like a happy couple and their kids seem respectful and relatively well-adjusted. I like them both - seriously.

Very faggy.

Son, Michael, is a screaming queen.

He looks sickly.

Of course he looks good! It's lots of Photoshop!

But I do admire the discipline to keep in shape...both of them!

R15 - you act like they working in accounting and HR at some mid-sized company in Ohio.

She makes almost $2 million a month on that show. She's loaded - they have chefs, nannies, masseurs, personal trainers, machines to melt fat, etc.

It's not that much discipline when you have a team of people and 'coaches' to keep you on schedule.

Yes - they do have to turn down a lot of food and drinks offered to them at events - but I don't necessarily considered that brave and disciplined.

Wife Kelly is super skinny, like Posh Spice. I give her credit, though, for not getting bolt-ons.

I think they should have brought down the shine on his calf muscles. His right one looks like an implant of Goop's marble vagina egg. Or a big hard chicken cutlet.

Yes, the calves look like implants.

It’s called steroids.

The wife had huge tits when she was a kid dancing in some tv dance show out of Jersey. She had a reduction early on.

Only weirdos strip. How the hell did they get married? Lavender arrangement for both?

r22 Rumor has it Andy Cohen is the third in their marriage. He and Mark have sex while Kelly watches.

Why would Kelly give a shit.

Their daughter had a HUGE chest. Distractingly so.

*has

r23 Rumor has it she gets off on seeing Mark with men. Andy has been friends with them both and it was convenient for Mark and Andy to hook up so Kelly didn't have to worry about Mark fucking around with guys and getting caught when it was all controlled at home. This is a big reason why Cohen has never been in a serious relationship for a long time.

That and Kelly has morphed into a flat chested twink with zero muscle tone.

R27 - bullshit. You just made that up.

I've never heard of Stuart Weitzman but apparently he is a shoe designer.

Encouraging to see Mr Man Meat's meat is still marketable in his golden years.

R16, and yet Oprah has much more money and, except for rare instances, hasn't kept it off for very long.

You can have all the advantages and still be fat; you can have NO advantages and still be in shape.

He's the proverbial Himbo- there's nothing else but his appearance, certainly not his acting, she pays the bills.

His llower leg “muscle” look scary and fake.

People recently named him Sexiest TV Host for the second year in a row.

r29 Nope, it's not made up at all. I think they have even joked about it. It might be more of a local NYC rumour, but Kelly, Mark, and Andy all vacation with Barry Diller and DVF on their yacht. Have you not noticed all of Andy's BFFs are in Lavender marriages?

Stuart Weitzman is better-known for women's shoes.

Anyone else suddenly craving jerky?

Shrimp is what comes to mind for me.

Does Andy enjoy grandpa Barry's enormous schlong? I can't see Andy going for ancient meat but who knows.

I find it revolting that Mark would hook up with that vile incubus Andy Cohen.

Kelly Ripa was chubby when she first started on All My Children

r42 and then she met her good friend --- cocaine.

[quote][R16], and yet Oprah has much more money and, except for rare instances, hasn't kept it off for very long.

That's why Ozempic is such a game changer. Oprah has always been a fat pig who could never keep the weight off. And she OWNED Weight Watchers. Now that she found the magic injections, she's skinny and keeping it off.

I happen to know this, Oprah is not on Ozempic but Mounjaro. Mounjaro is the preferred one of celebs (Christina Aguilera, Oprah et all) as it produces faster and more weight loss than Ozempic...and you can say "I am not on Ozempic!"

Why he got no lips?

Where is that video of big fat Opie taking a loud gushing piss?

Go away “Dad” and take your rake wife…