We need some levity after all this doom and gloom, and since we're starting the holiday season

I realize there is a "We need some joy" thread, but that's all about movies.

I'm talking about in general. Just ways/thoughts/fun/laughs for those of us who are alone and depressed to get through the holidays after some really negative months in our lives.

Reaching out, DL.

My cat has feline AIDS….again

I'm so sorry, Debbie Downer.

(smirk)

I'm alone, too, but I'm looking forward to the 2025 FOX Sit-Com about the zany adventures of the new President of Magalandia and the wacky members of his Maladministration!

Episode 1: "Vaccine, Schmaccine." Hilarity ensues as cases of measles, mumps, and chicken pox triple amongst schoolchildren! Watch as Sec. Kennedy tries not to laugh when saying "Monkey Pox"!

Episode 2: "Elise Goes to the U.N." Oh, oh! New Ambassador Elise has mistakenly switched headphones with her French counterpart and has him arrested as an assassin when she overhears the delivery of his lunch order: a "Croque Monsieur"! Alors!

Episode 3: "A Rose Is a Rose." For Father's Day 3rd Son "Lurch" gives Dad some "Poo-Pouri" spray, engraved with the Presidential seal! Titters of relief erupt as the President sprays some on as cologne!

I'm going to make a whole turkey breast for Thanksgiving. It's just me and my dog now, everyone else has died on me but I won't be defeated! I will make a separate stuffing which will include raisins, onion, celery and red bell pepper. Fresh green beans if I can find some, otherwise asparagus or broccoli. Pie for dessert, whatever I have a taste for at the time. Oh and my boomer childhood taste insists on a jar of mixed sweet pickles.

r5, I'm in the same boat. Me and my shadow (dog).

But where I used to love cooking (just a year ago), the fact that no one else will enjoy it but me (which was a huge motivation and people loved what I cooked), it's hard to really cook so much food for just me and my dog. And it's sad because Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday, about family, cooking together, laughter, etc. And it's not that anymore. It just makes me sad now.

I applaud you for not being as cynic as I am now. I went to dinner with a friend tonight and saw they will be serving on Thanksgiving between 11 and 3 this year. I may attend, if not so to feel as alone and also enjoy traditional food without preparing it myself and crying all the while knowing it's just me and this isn't what the holiday has ever meant to me.

I want to make coconut chess pie, or buttermilk coconut chess pie whatever, sugar and fat, I'll eat half and feed Eldergay the other, he's half dead anyway and I'll just lose another half pound toward emaciation, live bigly then die.

r7 I encourage you to "you do you" with all your faves.

You can always Ozempic after the holidays.

Re-read that again r8

A group of rhinos is called a crash. Who came up with that? And all those others like a murder of crows.

In answer to OP--from my saved examples of the wit and wisdom of DL, a couple of good ones:

From a Theatre Gossip thread: The great thing about a show with Philip Glass music is that the whole audience can leave their cell phones on and nobody will know the difference.

OP: How do I make my uncut boyfriend squeal with delight? R2: I give mine a Pottery Barn gift card.

Heading: Nestor Berchot, One of Argentina's First Married Gays, Dies At His Own Wedding R1:Who would have thought the "something blue" would be the groom?

A group of pugs is called a "grumble" r10

My roommate from the living room: Do you know where the other throw pillow is? Me: Oh sorry, I have it in here. Why do you need it? Roommate retrieving pillow with an understandably irritated expression: WHY do I need it? Because I want to fuck it?

Which haircut was most flattering on Bonnie Franklin between 1975 and 1984?

I'll post some random holiday themed stuff that tickles me. Here's Mystery Science Theater 3000's riff on the oddball Mexican film, "Santa Claus" (aka "Santa Claus vs. The Devil").

And my favorite holiday tune.

This is ancient, but it still makes me laugh. Use the "X" key to select and throw.

A group of Frenchies is called a bushel.

I’m lying here feeling my balls with one hand and typing and scrolling with the other’s

Not for years but I’ve spent holidays alone before. I made sure I had my favorite foods/snacks/drinks. I have to add that I’ve never felt alone having dogs. I’d usually walk them or take them to the park. There’s always streaming movies and the cinema. Hot chocolate. Tea. Dessert. Books. It helps because I’ve always enjoyed alone time.

You can order a Thanksgiving dinner from your local supermarket. I enjoy football so there’s that.

Maybe you could invite another friend (who is also alone) to spend time together on the holidays.

Thanks, r20. The Thanksgiving dinners you can order from the grocery stores around here are meant to serve 5 - 8 people (so at least $100), otherwise i would totally do that. I appreciate all the suggestions, though.

Also, I really only have one friend, and she is going out of town with her boyfriend.

OP, would a bad dad joke help?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did the transgender man eat a salad?

He was a her before.

OP, are you spending the holidays alone by choice or not? I hope it’s the former. If not, I’m sorry.

Not by choice, r23

R15

My family’s annual holiday movie - it’s NUTS!

I'm already planning putting up my Christmas tree! I think I'm going to put it up early this year and enjoy the lovely sparkle for an extended time. I love getting stoned and staring at the lights of an evening. I really love Xmas.

I decided to turn this on tonight R15

I'm having second thoughts on attending my cousin's Thanksgiving dinner this year. This is the first time he's inviting a large gathering since before the pandemic. I accepted the weekend before the election and was cautiously optimistic that Harris would win. My concern is the MAGA asshole brother in law may be there, triggering the dinner guests with his politics and using bad faith arguments to defend Trump. I guess I'm going this year regardless since I haven't seen a lot of the relatives for a while. But if it turns out to be a shit show, I doubt I will accept any future Thanksgiving dinner invites.

I love you R5 and R6. I wish I could have Thanksgiving with you both. You are both very sweet.

R21 Well, eat, watch, do all of the things you enjoy. You could even volunteer to serve Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter. Take a hike.

However you spend it, I wish you a peaceful and happy holiday season.

R15 you are my tribe!!! I have been an MST3K and Rifftrax junkie for years. Always have them on at the holidays. Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny is my fave.

I listened to some late- ight Hollywood news radio program years ago that had a story claiming Shelley Winters auditioning for her first acting role by squatting and having an actual bowel movement onstage. Somehow that incited unstoppable giggles in me for hours. Possibly it can do the same for you during your Thanksgiving dinner?

Should have known there would be some MSTies among all us DL smart alecks. This year's Turkey Day online marathon looks especially good; it includes several fan favorites like Manos and The Final Sacrifice. They're also doing for the first time (I think?) guest celebrities hosting their favorite shows. It could be a nice distraction on Thanksgiving Day for those who might need one.

In the meantime, here's their other perennial holiday favorite, Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. This one features my second favorite holiday tune, "Hooray for Santy Claus!", and of interest to DLers, the screen debut of Miss Pia Zadora. This movie is so bizarre they were able to do two other subsequent riffs by MST3K offshoots Rifftrax and Cinematic Titanic.

Bitch, I’m Kate Lawrence, 53, stuck in 1970s Pasadena, California.

I’m unexpectedly (and unbelievably) pregnant, have at least one dyke child and second lezzie-leaning daughter who can’t keep a man, and my husband fucks around on me when he’s not working himself to death.

And I think my son is a fag — he needs to cut that queer hair and at least finish high school, that lazy-assed shit heel.

So you, random homosexual looking for a happy escape, find it elsewhere!

I'll give ya levity...

Madame and Wayland Flowers, from "A Solid Gold Christmas"

R14

Yes-early tree set up good idea.Like when folks decorated early stuck home during COVID. Here we are again stuck with a plague-an orange plague…

I already had a Turkey dinner so I may do pot roast or a steak.

More from "Adventures in Magalandia":

Episode 4: "They're Eating the Dogs...! " Oh, the hilarity! The famous Golden Throne sees a lot of action after the President finds out what's really in his Big Mac!

Episode 5: "Enemy At the Gaetz!" Laugh along with Congress when novice AG Gaetz seeks haircare advice from California Gov. Newsom, who gives the AG some "special shampoo" that's actually Nair!

Episode 6: "24 Hours From Tulsi!" Newly-minted Director of National Intelligence Tulsi sure is red-faced when she accidentally sends Top Secret documents to Moscow---Moscow, PA! Do svidanya!

the one thing i miss about attending a family Thanksgiving dinner is my homemade cranberry sauce.

When I make it, I include raspberries. People rave over it.

I also meant to add the from-scratch Hawaiian rolls I also love to bake.

My family always stuck to a strict script for Thanksgiving: all traditional turkey, potatoes, stuffing, etc - no deviations allowed! Since I'm spending my Thanksgiving alone, I'm looking for some new twists. I'm considering making adobo sauce for the turkey or maybe even jerk turkey. So I'm trying to distract myself from the current Daily Shitshow by thinking of different ideas.

Speaking of turkey...

Here’s a video of an officer testing a slide. The sound and his movements crack me up though he could’ve been hurt:

^its even better with the sound turned up

Well I just completed my organization of all my spices and cooking ingredients. All I have to do now is look at my lists, which I taped inside my cabinets, and see if I need to buy something or I already have it.

Everything is on multiple lazy Susan’s.

Feeling very accomplished. 🤗😬

r45 that *was* good. thank you for that.

I've seen more early Christmas decorations this season than I've seen before. I usually Bah Humbug that, but I kinda "get" it this year and may put mine up too.

Horses have the largest eyes of all mammals.

Speaking of horses, look at this small pony:

Stay in your own lane!

More announced episodes from "Adventures in Magalandia":

Episode 7: "Fool Me Once, Shaman Me!" There's dancing to "YMCA" in the streets of Magalandia tonight as the "J6 Political Prisoners" are granted full pardons! Can Medals of Freedom and hamberders be far behind?!

Episode 8: "X Marks the Spot!" With unbridled glee, Chairman Elon takes his "Musk Ax of Efficiency" to every government program, a modern-day Hercules cleaning out the Augean stables! Laughs abound as the irony of heading a newly-ADDED department slowly dawns on the Tesla Titan!

Episode 9: "If the Fates Allow!" Smile as the Vairst Letty "comes home" for Christmas to decorate the Magalandia Mansion in her favorite color, Concrete Gray! What will she give the President for Christmas? Depends!

Do RFK!

A Pomsky is a Pomeranian-Husky mix that looks like a fox.

[quote]I've seen more early Christmas decorations this season than I've seen before. I usually Bah Humbug that, but I kinda "get" it this year and may put mine up too.

I was thinking that too; I remember during COVID people put up their Christmas decorations early too and if that's what helps you get through these dark times, go for it. Better than sitting home and drinking your sorrows (though I'm doing that oo)

R54, If you mean me @ r53, see r4!

R41 I use mandarin oranges in it and cinnamon. Raspberries sound really good too.