Let's create a movie for Cynthias Nixon and Erivo to star in!

Featuring Lens as the Stank family's zany, bedbound non binary neighbour.

OK thread closed, OP. You've created the movie. Well done, marinated in savory snark. There's nothing more to say, is there.

Thank you, OP.

I'm laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face!

It's very good OP.

Oh, get a sense of humour, Rojo Caliente @R2!

Secrets And Lies (dir Judd Apatow)

In a remake of Mike Leigh's Oscar nominated movie from1996. Cynthia Nixon stars as Cynthia, a sad and lonely woman working in a factory and living with her resentful daughter Roxanne (Florence Pugh). Cynthia's brother Maurice (Matthew Broderick) and his wife Monica (Laverne Cox) have been trying for a baby without success. Their lives are changed when a young woman Hortense (Cynthia Erivo) begins a journey to find her birth mother who gave her up for adoption.

Sparks fly as the Purley family come to terms with their secrets and lies.

OP there is no beating your genius suggestion (thanks for the great much needed laugh!!) here’s an attempt though:

Oppression:

The year is 1887. Arivo plays Shavante a runaway slave. Whilst running in the forest she collides (quite literally) with Amy-May (Nixon) who is also running away from her loveless lavender marriage with Trey.

What ensues is four hours of verbal sparring between the two about who has it worse in life. Expect monologue after monologue after monologue filled with hysterical crying and jaw jutting expressions of indignity.

The debate concludes with Shavante and Amy-May realizing their love for each other and they head into the wilderness together as common law partners for life.

That sounds like a fantastic project for The Cynthias but more suited to off Broadway perhaps?

Remake of Some Like It Hot Arivo and Nixon are two Dumbo housewives who see a gang killing and need to flee the killers. They join a touring Blue Man Group bound for Utah, where they are mentored by fellow troupe member Jackie (Laverne C9x.) The gals pretend to be guys as much hilarity ensues, until the troupe's gay manager Bryce (Mathew Broderick) falls in love with Nixon and she doesn't know how to tell him she's a lesbian who has fallen in love with Arrvo.

The M-15 members get a glimpse of the gals on Tiktok and hightail it to Utah but make the big mistake of thinking this is a remake of Sister Act and shoot up a bunch of nuns. The nuns survive, singing "i will follow him:,: and makomg cookies for all, Trump acolytes drive the criminals to the Canadian border where they are given jobs as lumberjacks. Cynthis x 2 announce their love and are arrested for public indecency when they soul kiss over the rolling credits. i

It’s a travesty (and a sign of Arivo’s colossal overinflated ego) that Arivo essentially stole Jodie Comer’s role in the film version of Prima Facie. NOBODY can come close to Jodie’s performance, even Meryl.

The Green, the trans, and the ugly

R2 obviously doesn't remember the DL classic "Let's create a Jennifer Aniston film."

MICROS (d. Ava Duvernay, from a treatment by Meredith Talusan)

Ava Duvernay dips a toe into comedy with this tale of two professors of LGBTQA2S studies from different colleges who meet at a retreat on sacred Waswansipi land in Quebec.

Cara (Cynthia Nixon) and Ashtara (Cynthia Arivo) are immediately offended by the other (Cara finds Ashtara's blithe use of the phrase "skin a cat" to be dangerous to wildlife, while Ashtara thinks Cara's dangling earrings are cultural appropriation from the Ma'sai people of Africa). Each goes to the retreat host Zenibba (Murray Hill) to register accusations of microaggressions against the other.

Zenibba's verdict? Put them both in the same cabin for the remainder of the retreat! "You'll just have to find a way to get along, drop the micros, and work out a two-state solution," xe quips.

The two hate each other more than ever, and one day they get into a fight over a 29 and Me report: "It's mine!" "No, it's mine!"

That's when they discover they're identical twins — separated at birth! Ashtara was raised by their mother (Academy Award winner and mother of a trans child Jamie Lee Curtis) while Cara was raised by their father (Morgan Freeman). That's when they hatch a plan to switch places. But will their parents be able to tell these mischievous twins apart?

Gullible Travels

Thelma (Cynthia Nixon) and Louise (Cynthia Erivo) play a mismatched couple travelling around America grifting from unsuspecting businesses. Louise creates a racialised situation and Thelma offers her experience as a DEI consultant who can restore the good name of the business.

But their grift hits a snag when a Louise tries to embarrass the staff at Freya’s Tuck, an inclusive start up run by Freya Mind (Laverne Cox) that helps disadvantaged trans sex workers find their true selves

The Carpet Munch

The Exorcist. Taraji Henson stars as Chris McNeil, a desperate mother trying to save her daughter Regan (Cynthia Nixon) from the white privilege that consumes her. After exhausting all other options, she calls on the priest Father Merrin (Cynthia Erivo) to exorcise all whiteness from her. If she doesn't succeed, Regan will be relegated to a life of bland red meat and saltine crackers.

R16 wI’m type confused. There is some Benjamin Button type supernatural thing going on?

Im guessing you just mixed up the names. It’s funny cause Taraji is old enough to be Eviro’s mama but they look the same damn age.

Ok, fine, Oprah will be Chris McNeil

Glove At First Fight (dir Lisa Cholodenko)

Patricia "Trish" Routledge has it all, a handsome husband (Matthew Broderick) a beautiful daughter Alicia (Maya Hawke) and an Olympic gold medal from the time Trish became the first woman to win an Olympic boxing gold, back in Atlanta 1996, even though in reality it was introduced in London 2012.

Trish has her own boxing club for women and gender non conforming AFABs called "Trish's" but Trish's head is turned when the current Olympic champion Louise "Lou Lou" Llewellyn (Cynthia Erivo) turns up one day. As Trish is sparring with a 12 year old girl she is distracted by LouLou's presence and she takes a hit to the head from the girl and briefly loses consciousness, but when she wakes up Trish thinks it's 1996 again and she's in preparation for the Olympics. LouLou has always been in awe of Trish's success in the ring so takes the role of Trish's trainer

Trish and LouLou become inseparable as they spent every waking hour in the ring, awakening Trish's lesbian longing that were suppressed by her love for her husband.

Will Trish make it through the Olympic qualifiers or will her illusions be shattered along with her clit?

Featuring Laverne Cox as Trish's sassy best friend Margarita who offers pearls of wisdom to Trish, such as "Oh honey, you don't wanna know what I know, girl, Because If I tell you then you know, and if you know, then you know. You know what I'm sayin' boo?"

R20 I believe you’re OP and if you are, please keep these suggestions coming. You’re making me laugh so hard I’m almost forgetting my depression 🤣

Screenplay by Roxane Gay

Kwanzaa (Director: Janet Mock)

Nixon is Deborah a meek and mild lady devoted to her church where she plays the organ. Although she knows she’s a lesbian she has been celibate her whole life to align with her beliefs.

On her way to organ recital one evening she has to pass through a Black Lives Matter protest where she locks eyes with Manny (Erivo). It’s love at first sight.

Manny has one condition for them to be together, she is to attend Kwanzaa with her and her family this upcoming holiday period. Will Deborah choose her true love or stay true to her devotion of the church and celebrate a conventional Christmas as she has done for the past 63 years?

Why do all these films even on the Anniston thread love them some Laverne Cox in a supporting role. Laverne that you making these threads?

[quote][R20] I believe you’re OP and if you are, please keep these suggestions coming. You’re making me laugh so hard I’m almost forgetting my depression 🤣

Thanks boo, you know what I'm sayin'.

[quote]Why do all these films even on the Anniston thread love them some Laverne Cox in a supporting role. Laverne that you making these threads?

Honey, you can never have too much Laverne, or too much Cox, always giving that little something extra, you know what I'm sayin' boo?

Off Court (dir Alan J Pakula)

In an adaptation of John Grisham's novella "Off Court" Cynthia Nixon plays retired tennis champion Kimberley "Kimmy" Kieslowski, a three time grand slam winner turned state prosecutor, determined to send accused serial rapist Martin Parkinson (Elliot Page) to prison. Defending Parkinson is hotshot British lawyer Maudie Mabuse Akindele, a brash British lesbian with a bad reputation.

This is personal for Kimmy as she was raped at the Wimbledon Champions dinner by American hero Paul Daniels (Matthew Broderick) and she wants to see Parkinson's victims receive the justice she was never able to get.

As sparks fly in the courtroom will Kimmy serve an ace or will she double fault leaving Maudie to take the game?

Featuring Laverne Cox as Judge Mary Louise McGee, a sassy magistrate with lines like "Honey, this is my courtroom, and if I say you're overruled then you're overruled, you get me boo?"

R26 OMG lol.

Why do Laverne Cox’s characters speak the way Teacake writes?

And besides marrying Seabiscuit and killing those Irish women, why is poor Matthew Broderick being dragged into this mess?

Laverne's characters speak like that because she's been stereotyped as the black sassy best friend and Wanda Sykes said she's too old to play those parts now.

Matthew Broderick needs the work. Be grateful he's getting cast!

I have never seen Laverne Cox in anything besides I want to work for Diddy, and some episodes of Orange I’ve seen over the years. 🤷‍♂️

I accept your reasoning r29. Carry on!

Treat Or Trick

Maybelle McCorrigan (Cynthia Nixon) has it all - a handsome husband (Matthew Broderick) two non binary child (Emma Corrin and that funny looking boy from Heartbreaker) and a successful job as prison governor at the maximum security Lizzie Birdsworth Memorial Detention Center.

Rosie West (Cynthia Erivo) also has it all - a 10 year stretch for grand larceny and blackmail, an impatient girlfriend Caitlin (Laverne Cox) waiting for her on the outside and a cell mate called Big Sue (Gabourey Sidibi)) who has regular yeast infections.

During a prison riot caused by the misgendering of a prisoner by deputy governor Michael Prince (Dev Patel) Rosie, Big Sue and other prisoners break into Maybelle's office and summon the spirit of Googie Withers, a 17th century slave who struck down her captors with spells. But Googie is a bit rusty and gets her spells wrong, and accidentally swaps Maybelle and Rosie into each other's bodies with hilarious consequences.

Maybelle (now played by Erivo) needs to reverse the spell but Rosie (now played by Nixon) is enjoying her freedom so much she doesn't want the spell to reversed.

[quote]accused serial rapist Martin Parkinson (Elliot Page)

This is where I lost it.

R26 plot twist, viola Davis plays Shavanliza. She speaks out against Daniels as she’s been raped by him too. Nixon goes onto find Shavanliza was also raped by Parkinson. Her powerful testimony (a 15 close up shot of tear induced shot gushing out of her nose) sends them both to jail.

Which one has a part for me as a renowned model and the world's youngest and most gorgeous "It" girl?

R35 Fuck off you big nose cunt.

The Press (dir Aaron Sorkin)

Go behind the scenes of the Trujmp and Biden Administration with his dramatic imagining of the machinations of the White House press corps with Cynthia Nixon as Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Catherine Zeta Jones as Stephanie Grisham, Anna Faris as Kayleigh McEnany Bryce Dallas Howard as Jen Psaki and Cynthia Erivo as Karine Jean-Pierre. Featuring Anthony Hopkins as both Donald Trump and Joe Biden.

Thank you, R32! I was catching up on the thread and thought to myself that our little Precious hadn't been cast in any of these films yet. I got to your post and let out a sigh of relief and a cackle of laughter.

Ebony & Ivory (dir Wachowski brother sisters)

Ebony Llewellyn (Cynthia Erivo) is a slave on a Louisiana cotton field and Margaret Ivory (Cynthia Nixon) the wife of the plantation owner James Ivory (Matthew Broderick). When Ebony's husband (someone from a tv show) is caught stealing an apple, Ebony sneaks in to to the Master's House and pleads to Margaret for her husband to be saved. Margaret, a liberal woman with suppressed lesbian desires, tells Ebony she will save her husband's life. After James Ivory kills Ebony's husband as a lesson to all the other slaves, Margaret is haunted by Ebony's piercing scream and plans their escape, a journey that will put both their lives in peril and highlight the racist and patriarchal nature of Louisiana in the period in which the film is set.

Featuring Laverne Cox as a sassy brothel madame who entertains her clients with witty repartee including "Oh honey, we've got all the kind of girls a man can need, Big girls, small girls. fair girls, dark girls, girls with that little something extra if you know what I'm sayin' boo?"

R39 please never ever stop posting these!

The Tonight Show (dir Mimi Leder)

Sharon Tracey (Cynthia Nixon) has it all - a handsome husband (Matthew Broderick), a gender non conforming child (Emma Corrin) and the dream job, hosting "Tonight at 6" on the IDF network. When when the IDF faces a hostile takeover Sharon is told she has to change her presenting style to boost her ratings. Sharon's producer Emily Tennant (Sarita Choudhury) tells her she's getting a new co-host and to make it work. But when social media influencer and TikTok star Kemi Adelope Adewale (Cynthia Erivo) joins Sharon at the news desk, sparks fly. Will this dynamic pairing help ratings explode or will they burn the house down?

Featuring Laverne Cox as sassy meteorologist Esther Crickhowell who delivers her weather forecasts with sassy lines such as "Now I'm not sayin' it's definitely gonna rain boo, but if you don't take you umbrella you a fool girl, you get what I'm sayin' boo?"

I know why the cage bird doesn’t sing. Dir: Oprah in her directorial debut).

From the makers of ‘I am not your show pony’ comes an anti musical.

Erivo plays Shannane, a happy go lucky girl next door who has been cast to play the lead in a new movie version of Hairspray. There quickly becomes a problem though: every time the music plays, Shannane has a psychological awakening that she’s been cast as the African American girl next door to appease white America. In protest she does not sign a word and looks straight down the lens in silence instead. After the music ends she goes into an impassioned 5 minute speech about how African Americans are used for musical troupes and are not seen as 3D. This makes for an awkward first half of the film, with 20 minutes worth of what should be songs actually bring Erivo looking searingly at the audience right down the camera lens.

Enter Cathy (Nixon), Shannane’s plucky agent who producers have brought in to bring Shannane to her senses. Cathy goes on a journey of self discovery though after hearing Shannane’s plight. Will she force her to sign for the big bucks she craves from her client or will she join her in silent allyship instead?

Look out for Gaboury Sidabey who plays Erivo’s understudy, Shugg, who is scheming in the wings hoping to crush and flatten Ervio’s message and dreams.

Going For Gold! (dir Frances McDormand)

Going For Gold tells the inspiration story of Zina Garrison (Cynthia Erivo) and Pam Shriver (Cynthia Nixon) when they teamed up to win the women's gold in tennis at the Seoul Olympics in 1988, with Garrison also winning an individual bronze. Featuring Gabourey Sidibe as Ben Johnson and Laverne Cox as sassy sprinter Florence Griffith Joyner.

[quote]Featuring Gabourey Sidibe as Ben Johnson

That made me snort up coffee.

Ice Ice Baby (dir Sean Baker)

Beth Wieserschnatz (Cynthia Nixon) has it all - a handsome and charming Jewish husband (Matthew Broderick) and a couple of quirky Jewish trans kids (Emma Corrin and the funny looking guy from Heartstopper). When Beth gets a promotion in work she worries about how her family will cope with her around less so hires a housekeeper from local company Yamoussoukro Home Help. When Aminata Haidara (Cynthia Erivo) arrives as the new housekeeper Beth initially takes a dislike to her, but the eventually bond over non chemical oven cleaner. But when Aminata is arrested during an ICE raid at the local waxing salon and sent to the Texas border the Wieserschnatz family must make a decision - do they want their beloved Aminata back or do they just get a Mexican to replace her? Featuring Laverne Cox as the sassy waxing salon owner who says things like "That's the price list there honey, but if you be needin' extras you just pay up front, we don't want no surprises here, you know what I'm sayin' boo?"

The Exorcist, Part IV. Cynthia Nixon plays the mother of poor Regan, played by Arianna Grande, who has become possessed by the demon Pazuzu (voice by Billy Porter). At one point, poor Regan's head begins to simulate a Bobblehead that bounces back and forth on her emaciated body. Cynthia's wife, Christine Marinoni, is the troubled priest who senses an evil presence at work while being tormented by the apparition of his mother, "Demi, how you do this to me!", played by the ghost of Christine Jorgensen. It all becomes too much when the possessed Regan shoves Cythina's face in her crotch and begins a slobbering segment of unrestrained carpet munching. An exorcist is called in, played by Cynthia Erivo, dressed in the native costume of her ancestors -- bald head, many tattoos, a nose ring, and talons -- who worshipped Pazuzu in the long-distant past. Featuring Gayle King as the clueless maid, and Eliot Page as a possessed friend who is thrown out the window by the demon and bounces down the cement stairs outside the house. The end.

Thank you for bringing back my favourite thread from last year

A all girl remake of THE DEFIANT ONES.

THE DINAH WEEKEND (written and directed by Joey Soloway).

Chris (Cynthia Nixon) is a recently retired pro golfer who worked so hard on her game she neglected her other game: women! When the Dinah Shore Weekend invites her to be a guest and speaker, she hesitates, but her wacky assistant Viveca (Megan Stalter) RSVPs for the two of them and secures flights and a room.

Ca'Mille (Cynthia Erivo) is a freelance writer for them.us speaking on the same panel, where she criticizes the Dinah weekend as "paradoxically patriarchal, leaning on gender stereotypes and exclusionary of trans, ace, and other valid lesbian identities." Ca'Mille has arrived with her freespirited friend Deena Marie (Laverne Cox), who just wants Ca'Mille to "have a little fun. And maybe get laid."

It's all fireworks on the panel when Chris and Ca'Mille speak, and not even the moderator (Jane Lynch) can break up the fight. But that night, when Deena Marie signs up Ca'Mille for Dykeoke, Ca'Mille surprises everyone with her rendition of "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" *. Chris and Viveca are in the audience and Chris finds herself strangely attracted to this woman who is her complete opposite. But will these two ladies who are so unlucky in love find that changed due to the magic of Dinah?

* [italic] "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover [Cynthia's Version) is available at the iTunes Music Store.[/italic]

Coming Soon!

Not Without My Jewish Trans Kid (dir Mira Nair)

In a heartbreaking remake of the 1991 Sally Fields Classic, Cynthia Nixon plays a devoted wife and mother to a beautiful Jewish trans kid played by the weird looking kid from Heartbreaker. When Fanny Clipper (Nixon) meets handsome Tal Wetterschnatz (Adrien Brody) she initially has reservations due to Tal being a citizen of The ZIonist Entity known as Israel. But being one of them tricksy Jews he seduces Fanny, they have a child and he persuades her to move to the Zionist entity. Once there he commits unspeakable human rights abuses, like taking the Jewish trans kid to the Western Wall and arranging a bar mitzvah. Fanny then decides she and her Jewish trans child are unsafe in the Zionist Entity and hatches a cunning escape plan with the help of anti Zionist social media influencer Joy Brie-Anna (Cynthia Erivo). Featuring Laverne Cox as a sassy Palestinian drag queen Beth Le Humm who gives Fanny sage advice like "Honey, if the olives are dropping then run and don't think about stopping, you know what I'm saying boo?"

R50, holy shit, that's brilliant!!!! Cynthia is just missing the bovine ring.