Colonoscopy

Ask your doctor these questions, not a gay gossip board.

They make you drink some vile liquid. I have my colonoscopy scheduled for Tues, Sept 3

Yes and no. It depends on your insurance. If you have a good policy you can take a few pills to clean out, and avoid the noxious two-gallon cocktail.

Also, there are different drugs they can give you during the procedure. The standard one will put you in a twilight state, and you won't have memories of the experience. But there is a more expensive drug that will actually keep you from feeling pain, and you don't have the memory loss. My gastroenterologist is a saint. I experienced a lot of pain during my first two colonoscopies. I didn't remember that, but he did, and told me about the other drug. When number three came around if turned out that my insurance wouldn't pay for it -but my doctor used it anyway.

Talk to you doctor about all this -There ARE options.

I did the big jug of stuff.

Frankly, it wasn't that bad at all. I was running clear before I finished the jug and it was nice to get a reset.

I got propofyl and was knocked out.

My doctor was very handsome.

R4. Was it Dr. Conrad Murray?

No, but after I tried Propofol, I could understand why MJ liked it. It knocks you out, instantly.

AND, my doctor was a lot better-looking than Conrad Murray.

These days, the liquid really isn't so bad! It's an electrolyte solution with another substance that your body can't digest, so it travels to the colon and draws water in. I could honestly do a colonoscopy every month if I had to.

My doctor had his own homemade mixture, which was basically powdered laxative and Gatorade (better than paying $70 for a prescription like my mom). I also had Propophol for the procedure. I shit myself a lot the night before, but the procedure was fine. I just hated the fasting. I ate three Taco Supremes on the short ride home.

I was given a big jug GaviLyte with a packet of lemon-vanilla flavor to mix in, which was not bad at all.

As your doctor about Colonguard or some other FIT+DNA test as an alternative to colonscopy. A negative colonscopy result gets you "off the hook" for 10 years, but a negative FIT+DNA test can get you as much as 3 years, and you basically just poop into a provided container and ship it to a lab.

[quote]It's an electrolyte solution with another substance that your body can't digest

Polyethylene glycol (PEG), a fucking microplastic. Actually, a significant portion of microplastic pollution in the world. It's deplorable that they give people that shit to drink.

Where are you people going that a colonoscopy is painful? What did that monster do to you?

Dr. Wilbur

With a colonoscopy, the doctor can spot precancerous polyps and remove them immediately. A DNA test kit can detect cancer cells after they've already developed, so they're not as thorough as colonoscopies.

Clearly OP is one of those messy bottoms that doesn’t know how to properly clean out for a long weekend’s breeding. Nor does she seem able to navigate her HMO’s intricacies to make sure she can pick the orderlies and interns that will tend to her.

R13. The people! The people!

I had one last month. The liquid stuff is disgusting, but I found it tolerable alternating sips with diet soda (clear, like 7Up). Last two colonoscopies they found (and removed) polyps. Both times they were benign but that means I have to have another in 7 years (instead of the normal 10.) I don't have any family history of colon cancer.

OP, know that when you are 80 years old, you don't get colonoscopies anymore.

The best part for me was the Propofol.

I am terrified of being sedated. I asked if they could do it without. They said sure. I was in and out of there in 30 minutes and could drive myself home.

I was knocked out with Versed and Propofol.

So many DLers pine for q big one up there and here you are complaining about a little thin scope.

So many DLers pine for q big one up there and here you are complaining about a little thin scope.

My doctor has been kind enough to have me skip everything except a douche, doesn't give me anesthesia but suggests I take poppers just before he goes in, and then he has the device attached to the end of his cock so that as he fucks me the colonoscopy thing can do its work.

It's so much better than the old way of have this necessary procedure done.

Sometimes I go in every couple of weeks for a "test," because it's cheaper than a rent boy. With insurance, of course.

You can do Cologuard but be advised - if your insurance pays for Cologuard and then the results indicate you need a colonoscopy most insurance providers WILL NOT pay for a colonoscopy too. Which is exponentially more expensive than the Cologuard pill.

Honestly, the liquid wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be if you mix it with 7Up/Sprite. It ends up tasting like, well, flat 7Up or Sprite, but far better than expected.

I had a beautiful tech with massive biceps doing my colonoscopy (the doctor beside him) and I hope I didn't say anything about wanting him inside me quite deeply while I was under.

I wanted to do it without heavy sedation and the doctor said no and it turned out it was because he had an assembly line colonoscopy process so he could get dozens done in a day, and he didn't want to be bothered with me and my special requests.

He also gave me a hard time when I said I wasn't sure I could find someone to drive me home afterwards. So basically, be sure you have a good doctor. They're definitely improving the process because they know it stops people from getting a colonoscopy done, and I think in a few years the vile liquid will be history. (It helps to fast for a day or two before you start taking it.)

I was advised to have no solid food the day before the procedure.

My colonoscopy discovered I was pregnant! With George Santos's butt baby!

My first colonoscopy went well (no polyps). I was dreading a 2nd one. Not because of the procedure, but just getting a ride there and back. (Call me a shut-in with no friends, I don't care.)

Anyway, the 2nd test turned out to be that mail-in sample (colorectal kit), the thought of which grossed me out. I procrastinated it for months, but finally did it. It wasn't bad at all. You do have to drop it off or mail it in right away. Obviously the 2nd test can't detect polyps. They're just looking for blood.

There WILL be blood.

[quote] I wasn't sure I could find someone to drive me home afterwards

This is why I've been putting it off. I mean it's not like the first time I've been drugged, violated and had to stumble home on my own.

R26, I was instructed to go on a low fiber diet 3 days before the procedure, then fast the day before, eating only broth and jello or pudding (but nothing red or orange), until 6pm. After 6pm, start drinking the GaviLyte only, then resume drinking it the next morning until 3 hrs before the procedure.

By the next morning, I was so sick of the GaviLyte that when I forced myself to take it, I was gagging and nearly puked it back out.

The fasting sucks. The prep is fine- Miralax dissolved in PowerAde Zero. The anesthesia is amazing. All in all- no big deal.

I just had one last Tuesday. Everything you need was over the counter. About 7 glasses of the laxative powder mixed with gatorade that you have to drink between 4-6 pm the day before and then another 2 glasses four hours before the colonoscopy.

The hardest part of it was drinking all of that within such a short period of time. It gave me a bad stomach ache. Seeing a gatorade bottle makes me want to vomit now. Of course, when I checked in and talked to the nurse she said you really don't have to drink it all within 2 hours and you can stretch it out as needed.

But the procedure and the recovery were simple. You're in the operating room one moment and then you're awake the next moment back in the room where you started.

I had an endoscopy a few months ago and the recovery from that was awful. The colonoscopy was very easy by comparison.

Well, you can eat Jell-O (just not red Jell-O, you should probably just stick with lemon Jell-O).

What I enjoyed (I think I got this tip on Reddit) was chicken broth. I bought Campbell's chicken noodle soup and strained out the noodles and chunks of chicken. (Better flavor than buying plain canned chicken broth.)

My first meal after the colonoscopy was a lemon grass tofu banh mi (Vietnamese sandwich).

Worst part: the liquid you have to drink

Best part: the anesthesia

Weirdest part: passing odorless gas afterwards. But that doesn’t last long.

Glorious part: how good your first meal afterwards will taste

It's not to be sniffed at, OP. But to be serious, please get your colonoscopy. I was scheduled for one, then COVID hit and then it was rescheduled to November of this year. They had a cancelation in March and I grabbed it. Good thing I did. They found cancer and removed part of my colon (right hemicollectomy). No bag, I poop fine, and they got all the cancer. After lots of screenings and precautionary chemotherapy, I'm fine.

Don't fuck with possible cancer.

R26 Thank you, Captain Obvious.

I've had GI issues over the last few years so I started prepping almost a week out. Kept it very simple, soups, "low residue" foods.

The more you do up front the less you'll feel like shitting your brains out the day/night before.

[Quote]and you basically just poop into a provided container and ship it to a lab.

Eeeeewwwww!!!!

If you do the FIT/DNA test, it is very helpful if you have more than one bathroom. That way, you can set up the little bucket and be ready to go.

On the medical report I was sent home with after my procedure, they rated my "Quality of Prep," which was "Good." I would've died if it had said "Messy!!!"

The prep process was quite inconvenient. But the upside is you will feel thoroughly cleansed and detoxified afterwards. And idk but I think that's good for your guts to undergo every now and then?

[quote] they rated my "Quality of Prep," which was "Good." I would've died if it had said "Messy!!!"

You should watch this video of Will Smith's colonoscopy. His doctor said the quality of his prep was not good and messy. He also makes a big deal in the video about not liking anything up his butt--uh huh! The doctor removed a worrisome polyp from his colon--the kind that leads to cancer.

I had mine a few months ago. No sedation, and it all went well. Don't have to do it again for 10 years, but it does throw them off when you don't want to be put to sleep. It's also nice to get a view up your colon; a view that only a few select cocks have gotten the pleasure of seeing.

I had mine done for the first time last year at age 62. Relatively easy, the fluid you have to drink is not a big deal, just a lot of liquids., and going to the bathroom until you are clean. The procedure was pretty easy as well. I spend more time waiting around before and after than expected. If they find a polyp or growth they remove it and send it for test to be sure it's a non-issue, which 90% of the time it is.

My results were I was clean as a whistle. They suggest you get one every 10 years once you pass age 50, and every 5 years after age 60.

Man up OP. I am sure you have had bigger things up your butt.

Think of it this way, for once you don't have to clean out before sex.

R45

Sorry, for my typo.

I had mine done for the first time last year at age 62. Relatively easy, the fluid you have to drink is not a big deal, just a lot of liquids., and going to the bathroom until you are clean. The procedure was pretty easy as well. I spend more time waiting around before and after than expected. If they find a polyp or growth they remove it and send it for test to be sure it's a non-issue, which 90% of the time it is NOT.

Great news, R36! I had my first colonoscopy done at 49, and the doctor removed nine polyps. They were all cancerous, but in a very early stage. If I had waited and put it off like most of my friends, I'd likely not be here now -or be faced with a catastrophic diagnosis. DO NOT PUT IT OFF!

R48 Good for you. Crisis averted. A coworker got their done recently and have 5 polyps, 3 were cancerous. He's going back in 3 years for a follow-up.

[quote] The procedure was pretty easy as well. I spend more time waiting around before and after than expected.

This.

Really the drudgery of it is the inconvenience of breaks in your routine. Not eating for a day or two, etc., the colon cleansing, and a lot of waiting the day of the procedure.

The actual procedure itself is really quick, and a well organized team can do 2 or 3 in an hour.

The flavor of the stuff they want you to drink is not the problem, it's the quantity. Close to 2 gallons of water. AND you are not supposed to sip it through the day, they want you to chug big gulps in a short time so you have full power to flush out your innards instead of peeing it out.

It's what r50 said. The actual procedure under anesthesia only took about 15 minutes. Don't remember a thing, other than waking up, lots of uncontrollable farting. Male nurse near by checking up on me.

Terrifying...

This has happened many time to people. They give you one drug to paralyze you so you cant move or speak and then something goes wrong with not putting you out so you feel and witness the entire surgery unable to scream.

I'm elderly and on Medicare, so I'm at the mercy of my evil HMO. They refused to pay for anything other than the 'vile liquid'. It would have cost me $160 out of pocket for the better option. But I didn't find out until two days before the procedure, because the HMO wouldn't get back to me about what they wouldn't cover. It was extremely stressful week.

A lot of posters including me are saying that the drink procedure isnt that bad.

Is Medicare Advantage another name for HMO?

No.

[quote]On the medical report I was sent home with after my procedure, they rated my "Quality of Prep," which was "Good." I would've died if it had said "Messy!!!"

This reminds me of some friends of mine who told me that they received a "report card" every day for their little girl in day care. It included a review of the quality and quantity of her BMs.

I was given a 1g jug, and a packet of power to mix in. I would add a teaspoon of Crystal Light and ice to an insulated cup, then the colon prep. I managed to get the whole thing down. My gastroenterologist used Versed and I didn't remember anything.

Suprep is the worst. I was almost in tears drinking it, and you have to drink 2 glasses of it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. There are lots of videos on Youtube on how to get through it.

Miralax is the best one. You mix it in Gartorade and it has no taste, other than the Gatorade.

I had one done, there was absolutely nothing wrong found. they said I have the colon of a 30-year-old (I'm in my 60's). I wanted to say they were wrong, I've had the colons of several 30-year-olds like most people here.

Just had one friday. Day before no food, drink clear liquids. AT 3 P.M. take two dulcolax. At 5 P.M. I started drinking one bottle of Gatorade with 119mg or Miralax dissolved in it. Then a second bottle (238mg of Miralax total.).. At the end of the second bottle, I took two more dulcolax. I felt bloated for hours then boom shit started flowing. Up till I went to bed and around 10 P.M. it was just Gatorade colored. I had a movement first thing in the morning - colonoscopy was at 9:15 A.M. Clean as a whistle.

I was supposed to have had one right when covid closed everything down....tried to go back after and they said I was required to have a driver wait for me. I said I would use uber as I have no relatives and all my friends have jobs. The Nurse/receptionist. basically hit delete on the form and said they couldn't do it.

Nice.

That was 4 years ago. Hope I don't have cancer.

r65 that is odd they told me uber was fine for mine.

I think Uber should be fine. Really sad that they don't allow it.

Frankly, I'm more loopy coming out of my periodontal cleaning appointments. I get multiple Novocaine injections. I usually do errands, afterwards. When I look at how my car is parked (when I park for my errands), I am surprised at how crooked I parked.

(I'm not the best at parking, but I'm usually not THAT bad.)

I asked about Uber ... my place said they would allow it (relucantantly) but you have to sign all kinds of paperwork absolving them of any responsibility.

I must say I enjoy all the one-on-one attention I receive the day of the procedure.

[quote] I asked about Uber ... my place said they would allow it (relucantantly) but you have to sign all kinds of paperwork absolving them of any responsibility.

Well, I would go ahead and use Uber.

I try to schedule mine in the afternoon so the viscous liquid is limited to the day of. I used a lemonade Crystal Lite flavor the first time; I can’t drink lemonade any longer because of it. I didn’t flavor for the next two, but just chugged it in the intervals prescribed. I’m due for a colonoscopy this fall.

Versed and Propofol for sedation so I was quasi awake and I watched on the monitor. Thankfully every time my colon was clean. The scope has a light, a sprayer, and snippers so they can squirt away any leftover fecal matter and snip off any polyps. For me, the worst part of the whole thing is the IV since I am needlephobic. The best part is eating afterward.

Yeah, my pre-colonoscopy drink tasted just like Crystal Light lemonade. Perfect for DLers.

R65 I lied and said I will have my brother who will be coming in an Uber to pick me up. I then dialed myself and said my ride is here and I'm going downstairs to meet him. They bought it. I felt clear headed and fine and it was a relatively nice winter day so I walked home instead.

R72. And perfect for Miss Linda Evans.

The one thing Crystal has never been is "light"

The worst part isn’t even the nasty drink. It’s the part when your ass is on fire from wiping a thousand times.

Man, I didn't get wonderfully knocked out as many have reported. I got "twilight sedation." Twilight my (emptied) ass. I guess it helped with pain, but I was wide awake and watched the (w)hole show. I could have easily driven home, but they were very strict about having a ride. To confirm that the ride was legit, the nurses themselves call the person who is going to drive the patient home.

I'm 46 and I did my first one this spring. The fluid didn't taste terrible to me but the feeling toward the end of it was miserable.

Also, my procedure was at 7am, so I had to stay up all night drinking. Strange night.

It's not the TASTE of the stuff you drink, it's the TEXTURE. It's thick and viscous. Disgusting.

I've had 4 or 5 colonoscopies now. The first time I had to drink the awful - in taste & texture - stuff. But since then I've been given a much more pleasing liquid.

Yeah, the liquid I had to drink was not viscous at all. It was salty and it came with a flavor packet I am grateful I chose not to use because fake lemon flavor is disgusting to me and without it, the stuff just tasted like seawater, which was fine. I kind of liked it, tbh, until I had so much inside of me that I felt disgusted.

I could handle chicken broth.

Muriel’s playing a joke on you

More instructions pre-colonoscopy:

7 Days Before Your Procedure: Eat a low-fiber diet: Avoid nuts, seeds, corn and raw (uncooked) fruits and vegetables.

1 Day Before Your Procedure: No solid food for the entire day. You can only have clear liquids such as Jell-O, popsicles, clear broth, carbonated beverages, tea, black coffee and juice. (No milk or cream in tea or coffee.)

I don't understand why this medical procedure is so recommended. It's invasive, takes multiple days out of your life, can have drastic side effects. Is there any other 'preventive' medical procedure like this?

I'd rather my insurance pay for a full MRI body scan that can detect multiple different cancers and health problems than a limited procedure that will likely find nothing.

Colonoscopy is the most reliable way to detect an abnormal growth in your colon. Even if a growth is detected 95% of the time it can be treated if caught early enough. It's about timely prevention. I Know three relatives and two neighbors who died from it because they didn't find out until it was too late.

What ever you need to do get it done. Do not postpone it. It's maybe 36 hours of inconvenience, for peace of mind or early detection.

For many of us, it's the most action our asses will see for the entire year.

This thread has turned into what it was always destined to be…

The DL equivalent of those 6-8 old men at Panera at 7a getting their “Coffee Club” free Java and pastry, all telling the same story or tips about their medical experiences.

Sorry - FU, R89. You're shallow and a dick. Wait until you have to have a colonoscopy.

I have to get them regularly, every two years because of polyps. If you have one coming up, make it easy on yourself by eating very light for three or four days prior. low fiber diet. That way when you evacuate you won't have such a difficult exhausting time. The goal is to thoroughly clean out your entire colon so they can see if there is anything bad happening. Colon cancer is now 100% treatable and survivable if it's found early.

You can have it done in thailand for 100 bucks. There they give you a camera pill to swallow and then you poop it out several hours later. That's it.

Fuck that. I want Raquel Welch and Stephen Boyd in a miniature submarine exploring my colon.

[quote] Sorry - FU, [R89]. You're shallow and a dick. Wait until you have to have a colonoscopy.

I did Cologuard last year, and will eventually join the club in a couple years. It's not that I don't take it seriously, and I'm not ridiculing your experiences. I'm ridiculing the fact that you all are saying the same few things about your shared experience. THAT, to me, is a lot more unpleasant than the damn procedure in the first place!

My cousin's mother in law kept putting it getting a colonoscopy off for many years. When she finally got the procedure at age 69 they found significant tumors and was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. She was gone about 18 months later.