Eldergays, tell me about store-bought breakfast shakes

Carnation Breakfast drinks are loaded with carbs.

If you have to drink them, drink Glucerna, which at least is low-carb.

I don't think Eldergays are the ones who were into store-bought breakfast shakes.

Orgain. Better quality ingredients than most of what else is out there.

I subscribe to a newsletter that tests products for nutrition, metals, if the products is what the label says.

A protein drink that made the cut was GNC Total Lean Shake 25.

Orgain was tested but didn’t pass because the drink contained more sodium than labeled. But if that doesn’t bother you, then that is an option as well.

My dietician recommended Fairlife protein shakes. The one downside I see in that, is the amount of calcium it contains—670mg. Your body can only absorb up to 500mg at a time. But again, if that is not a concern for you then go for it.

All 3 mentioned taste good. (Chocolate)

I don’t think I need a protein supplement per se. It’s just that even the idea of eating a full meal when I wake up turns me emerald green and I feel like I need to unswallow. Carnation Breakfast was tolerable but it’s got a lot of added sugar, and like I said it’s not very broadly available.

Was your carnation instant breakfast made with REAL WHOLE MILK??

Take a look at Huel. 400 cals per serving.

I use 2% milk usually. Is that the wrong move? I live in a small-town and typically don’t have access to oat or nut milks. I’ll sometimes crown it with a little drizzle of cream if I have some in the fridge and am feeling decadent.

I’m skittish about these engineered foods because of things like kidney stones. I’d be interested in one that gives your body vital nutrients but not so much of any one ingredient to create other issues.

My brother lived on protein powders and veggie burgers to stay thin in his late 30’s and early 40’s, but now at 64 looks rough and has issues with his live function and blood composition. I’m not sure if this is related to his extreme dieting in the 1990’s or not.

Drink Carnation Instant Breakfast if you must, but a lovely breakfast at your favorite coffee shop is best, especially when served by lovely staff!

R8. Your ideas intrigue me, and I may include them in my online newsletter. I’m a very busy person, running from show to show to gallery to staged reading. Sometimes I just want to plop. I thank you for your kindness…I SHALL pay it forward.

Drop a link to the newsletter. I always like to read up when a fellow DL’er ssums it up.

The only shakes I can recommend now are the Atkins shakes, 15 g protein and 2g net carbs. I used Met-Rx shakes back in the day but they're not readily available.

I like to make a smoothie regularly with a healthy plop of spinach. It looks like diarrhea but the taste and texture is tremendous.

I’d be interested in that recipe for my newsletter…I bet it also smells *HEAVENLY*…I like to get as much protein in as possible before my morning walk, for you see, I don’t drive. It gives me much needed “me time”….I commune with nature, silently talking to the world around me. A stranger is a friend you’ve never met.

The cross-purposes conversations on this thread are making valuable connections

If you’re planning to journey about on foot, I want caution you from experience (one eldergay to another) - bring a map and keep your eyeglasses on a tether around your neck. Last thing you want is to get lost without even being able to read road signs.

Just make your own shake and add whey protein to it. The processed shit is no good.

R10 nailed it, and maybe consider sliced tomatoes or fresh fruit instead of hash browns.

My kind of breakfast shake, vanilla ice cream in blender , cup of raspberry.

My A1-C would go haywire, r20!

I clipped a Carnation coupon from the Courier, so against advice on this thread, I’m ready to restock my reserves.

The thought turns me emerald green, but would it be too wild to blend in some spinach and a raw egg? Maybe a drizzle of EVOO?

R17. I shall do just that! I get lost at the drop of a hat. The light usually guides me…or I ask a friendly face. Be it human, feline, or canine.

Strangers are friends we haven’t met yet r22! Be it a barista, librarian or a young person seeking a mentor, an Aunt Mame, if you will.

I like Boost Glucose Control in the rich chocolate flavor. Very low in sugar and pretty filling.

I def need to up my protein tonight!!…I’m making my big return to the theater and it’s about to piss down BUCKETS of rain….i did buy a can of boost at the cvs and used my “Extra Bucks”!! Wish me luck folks…I’m GREAT with accents, but I’m still a nervous wreck!!

It sounds like you’re going to make a splash with the Cool Kids tonight. Best of luck; follow The Light and you’ll be alright.

Gosh, I miss those days in my 30s and 40s and even 50s where it seemed like I had a bottomless well of “energy”. After moving away from small town Manhattan, I had to take 12 or so steps away from my usual fountains of energy. I’m better off theoretically, but I just don’t get the same kick from my morning glass of Ensure or Boost or any of the other so-called “old man” drinks lol. Well, on-ward. I need the protein and vitamins, so I’ll continue choking down my morning chocolate beverage even though it’s not cutting the mustard.

Well, R26, I *certainly* made a splash with some young children the other day!! They call me Uncle Cray-Cray, and on GUNCLES day no less!!…I skipped my morning Ensure™️, because I knew I was gonna have an ice cream cone later that day. I need to be careful with dairy, queen. It gives daddy the Hershey squirts! Not like there’s anything wrong with that!!😉

r2, My mom was always on different diets so she had me on various diets, Lean Cuisine, Dt Coke, carnation instant breakfasts, Slim Fast, and Dexitrim. From 14 to 29, I was the sexy little thing I always wanted to be, after that the transformation was like Vanessa becoming Ursula.

I sure hope there are yummy protein drinks where I’m going….!! Looks like a lot of drama has already imbued my pilgrimage…so I’m gonna need more than spinach to give me energy before I plop! I’m not Popeye!!

I wonder if delicious breakfast treats such as this can be found in far-flung places… North Africa perhaps?

R30. I sure hope so…maybe they have something made with WHOLE CAMEL MILK!!?

😂😂😂 🐫 🥛

As long as there’s a bazaar in town where I can have my late 1990s Donna Karan cardigans dry cleaned, I don’t care if they only drink wildebeest milk!

R33. Is there a Medina? A FUNKY COLD MEDINA?? By the by, apparently if you do a few “gigs”, hosting, and such, you are rewarded with a FIRST CLASS ticket to North Africa as “payment”. Granted, your “benefactor” probably has a zillion frequent flyer miles, as his company employs 80 (!!) people working projects all over the globe. on ward!

Kevin Sessums is an asshole, but he is a human asshole who isn't famous enough to be incessantly stalked here, have accidents and ill health wished on him, and to have his health problems mocked.

[bold]Prologue for anyone new to the Sessums Stalkers[/bold]

Within a web of shadows, dark and deep,

A crew of malice doth their vigil keep.

With coded tongues, their plots they do unfold,

A twisted tale of vengeance, dark and cold.

On Kevin Sessums’s life, their eyes are ever bent,

A cruel delight in his torment spent.

With veiled threats, their malice they impart,

And seek to pierce his solitary heart.

Let’s watch this drama, fraught with wicked glee,

As shadows dance and secrets come to be

[bold]Attributes of Online Brigades Stalking Public Figures [/Bold]Online brigades, often driven by political, ideological, or personal motivations, engage in coordinated harassment of public figures.

Their behavior typically exhibits the following attributes: [bold]Behavioral Attributes[/bold]

[bold]Coordinated Attacks: [/bold]They operate in a synchronized manner, often using similar language, hashtags, or tactics.

[bold]Persistent Harassment: [/bold]They engage in relentless and sustained online attacks, targeting the individual's personal and professional life.

[bold] Amplification: [/bold]They leverage social media platforms to maximize the reach of their attacks, often using bots or automated tools.

[bold] Doxing: [/bold]They attempt to reveal private information about the target, such as home address, phone number, or personal details.

[bold] Swatting: [/bold]They make false reports of emergencies to law enforcement, leading to armed police responses to the target's location.

[bold]Cyberbullying:[/bold] They engage in personal attacks, insults, and threats, aiming to intimidate and humiliate the target.

[bold]Motivational Attributes[/bold]

[bold]Political Ideology: [/bold]Often aligned with a specific political or ideological group, they target individuals with opposing views.

[bold] Personal Grievances: [/bold]They may be motivated by personal vendettas or grudges against the target.

[bold] Financial Gain[/bold]: In some cases, online brigades might be hired for financial compensation to harass a specific individual.

[bold]Thrill-Seeking[/bold] Some individuals may participate in such activities for the excitement and sense of power it provides.

[Bold]Technological Attributes[/bold]

[bold]Social Media Proficiency: [/bold]They are adept at using various social media platforms to spread their message and coordinate attacks.

[bold]Technical Skills:[/bold] They may possess technical skills to create fake accounts, manipulate online content, or launch cyberattacks.

[bold]Access to Resources: [/bold]They often have access to resources, such as funding or technology, to support their activities.

It's important to note that these are general characteristics, and the specific behavior of online brigades can vary widely depending on their goals and the target.

A funky medina stench is detectable in this thread….like rancid camel milk after a long trek…

I agree you should make your own, OP. Much better. Just mix together almond milk, almond butter, banana, cocoa powder, dates, hemp seed, himalaya salt, vanilla, and vegan protein powder. You'll be sated for at least 4 hours.

R39 that sounds good; would you want to give specifics on how much of each ingredient?

I couldn’t afford to keep all those vegan ingredients stocked in the little kitchens through which I sojourn. I know Carnation Breakfast may sound dreadfully “déclassé” to DL doyenne, but when you’re a citizen of the world on a pauper’s budget you sometimes have to set pride aside.

Well, I’m off…I’m a bit frightened, as there isn’t the culture I’m accustomed to where I’m going. Nor is there the free meals, free accommodations and other people to sponge off of. I’ll make it work tho, I’ll find SOMEWAY to apply my “skillz” to get what I need! If I need to milk a camel to make my instant breakfast, so be it! I think the toilets are just open pits in the ground, so I’m excited about that!!!

A dearth of baristas and a cultural desert, if you will. What’s a cultured fellow to do?

A truly healthy breakfast shake does not exist.

Eggs are a wonderful protein forward breakfast. It’s nice to spice things up and be inspired by travels…shakshuka is a peppery delight with delightful aromas

When I was in the hospital they served me Boost. One taste and I never let it touch my lips again.

My mom was addicted to Carnation Instant Breakfast. I believe it was the chocolate malt flavor. Didn't like that either.

Instead of these shake drinks why not have real food like maybe a banana?

R45 “delightful aromas”. We all know where THOSE will come from. Sure, eggs will help…and yes, so many new spices to explore….oh my, i’m GETTING AN AROUSAL “DOWN THERE”!!!

I always fly Business Class or better, but I try to always use the lavs in Coach. I want the other passengers to know that I’m another noble itinerant just like them. Plus the aroma on those long hauls 😙

hashtag #grateful

It’s useful to have a hearty breakfast when travelling to build strength for sightseeing and even traversing some rickety stairs!

“DADDY MADE IT”…

🤮🤮🤮🤮

Gross 🤮

"Daddy always said you can never lose your talent!" Uh-huh...

This place has more dental atrocities than London!! Daddy like….DADDY LIKE!!…..

CUE: 🎶”I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here!!”🎵 from “ANNIE”.

So typical to post a pic insinuating a young man in the background is a homo. Especially in an unstable region where being openly gay can be VERY problematic.

Still, our global hobo lives in a consequence-free environment just north of utter catastrophe.

R54. I’m glad you said it. He’s utterly clueless.

I like the Bolthouse Farms parfaits that have fruit, yogurt, and granola. The regular version has only 11 mg of protein though. The Protein Plus versions have 30 mg. but the fruit ones don't taste as good. Dutch Chocolate Banana is the best.

If I’m feeling decadent and have a couple nickels to rub together, I’ll sometimes zhuzh up my Carnation with a scrape of fresh Moroccan vanilla. Don’t ask what I have to do to procure that, lol!

R57. Does it involve CAMELS? If so, POST PICS!!

No, no Camels involved. I was a Lucky Strike daddy for years, but I finally got that monkey off my back once my Bell’s Palsy lips couldn’t hold a ciggy erect anymore.

Headed to the beach tomorrow to commune with some of the local impoverished cool kids. I’ll take notes in my Blue-Jay notebook to update y’all, or possibly start a new serial novel which I’ll stop writing after volume 6 of 14.

[bold]Prologue for anyone new to the Sessums Stalkers[/bold]

Within a web of shadows, dark and deep,

A crew of malice doth their vigil keep.

With coded tongues, their plots they do unfold,

A twisted tale of vengeance, dark and cold.

On Kevin Sessums’s life, their eyes are ever bent,

A cruel delight in his torment spent.

With veiled threats, their malice they impart,

And seek to pierce his solitary heart.

Let’s watch this drama, fraught with wicked glee,

As shadows dance and secrets come to be

R59. You complete me

Today I ran around the ruins like a demented queen, and tomorrow I’ll shit stack my experience, so you can all see what a loser I am!!

Small town-ing the shit out of life!

Speaking of which, I wonder if any of these random young men can direct me to the nearest Starbucks.

R64….gotta take a dump? Or maybe you want to sample the local “aromas”??? Be sure to make a big production over the “feral cats” you see everywhere….glossing over the fact you ditched Finn and Matty so you could be 🎶a free man in Tunis, you were unfettered and “alive”🎵…😂😂😂😂😂

Now she’s “awash” in the Tunis light. Maybe she’ll “awash”those crusty jeans.

My friend Julie met a stranger and then she died, R15.

Yes r66 the light, the LIGHT is unforgiving when it comes to those dusty old threadbare threads. Buy some cheap light linen caftans for lord sake!

Wrong bus, wrong bus stop, completely unable to communicate in local language or most common local second language. So far no lost glasses, so thank heavens for small mercies. Or thank the Light, I suppose.

Pray for the continued freedom for feral kitties in the funky hot medina.

We have an accelerated effort to snap stealth perv pics of young and VERY young men.

The opening run-on, word salad, sentence in the weekly shit-stack mess.

“I was not heedless in Carthage, Tunisia, in the presence of this Headless Stillness yesterday and thus asked permission of this goddess - not a ghost but a permeation - before putting my arm around her form and placing my own head within the hollow of her where humanity could still be found, mine within the ancient mass of it all, fumbling about in her hallowed nothingness which, yes, permeated everything everywhere there on the stark magnificence of Odeon Hill overlooking the Mediterranean.”

Then he blathers on about some queen approaching him in Provincetown about how much his grim pillage means to him…and they both began blubbering like two old queens. How fucking pathetic. I’m sure a lot of this is embellished for dramatic effect, because that’s just his way. But two queens sobbing in the parlor of the Mary Heaton Vorse house is a picture Norman Rockwell forgot to paint.

Ironically, he also permeates everything...

Looks like “Daddy” 🤢 has found a new breakfast friend in the funky old medina!

He posted his “restaurant meal” which looked like a disgusting plop, as usual…a chicken leg, a thing that looked like a log of shit (big surprise), and some weird doodie colored rice. THE ENTIRE PLATE WAS BROWN. They must have known he likes it like that. I’m certain the tip was minimal, if at all. Tipping is weird overseas so who the fuck knows.

How many times since arriving in small-continent Africa has he been recognized by fans begging to have their picture taken with him? Have he and they been moved to tears together?

Travel drama at breakfast time right on cue. People obviously givin this addled cunt advice at train station but of course utterly incapable of listening. So now there’s a sweltering bus with no aircon - unfit for a global grim pillager schvitzing through black rags! Dry beg for a fund top up as may now be forced to use a taxi.

Utterly insipid. What a fucking idiot.

“Small-town Tunis. My street. Light. Cat. Stillness. A feral solitude. A pilgrim’s Saturday at dusk. A long pause with paws to appreciate the blessing of my loner’s life. Then: onward …”

Squirrels. Death.

This pilgrim’s life, this woman’s work.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN….I present to you…TUNISPLOP!”

From tins! 🤢

Kevin Sessums is an asshole, but he is a human asshole who isn't famous enough to be incessantly stalked here, have accidents and ill health wished on him, and to have his health problems mocked.

Eldergays? Ensure Max Protein

The dry beg for beach breakfast must have worked! Our erstwhile traveler is even staying the night there (yep we had a pic of his shitter) but his “hot” host refused to pose for a pic. Watch your step, pilgrim.

R84. He’s flirting with danger as usual. He’s not as “hip” as he thinks. His “hot” host I'm sure LOATHES him, and is grateful he’s only staying one night. The picture of the toilet is his “signal” to other “like minded” queens…have doodie, will travel!!

Was amused by his anger at getting gouged for the cost of dinner... How ironic that he should not only pay for once, but overpay!

R86. I *HOWLED* over that also…then I had to read about “the light”, and how someone couldn’t tell what nationality he was! “Everything Connects!” he exclaimed fruitily. Then, a selfie…toad face squints into the light with his contorted “smile”. I had to massage the bile back down my throat, as I began wretching violently.

The cunt has a new affectation - describing people as “cool as merde” or men “hot as merde”. Truly committed scat queen 💩

R88 Just like the corn studded logs of merde he likes sliding down his throat! ALLEGEDLY!

You’d think his fascination with dung would have dissipated when he got cut from the herd and brought into the fold of fame.

There’s a dry beg afoot even as he enjoys the sea air at his temporary shitter.

So even though he’s a self-described “poor pilgrim on a budget” (aka homeless grifter) he tipped his hot as merde 🤢 driver for a cab ride though he could have taken a bus for just 33cents!

He’s had to spend $100 on a small town beach trip so he can regale his subscribers with his muddled meanderings.

The peppered-in French is so fucking pretentious, even when it’s just profanities. He was telling some story from his early 20s in his shitstack the other day and said something along the lines of “the French have a saying for it: the jeunesse d’orée”. First of all, no they fucking don’t. And secondly, if they did, just say it in English. That’s not some whacky, enigmatic metaphor.

It’s all a piece of the pathetic “a few quid” affected in London. A self-styled world citizen 😂: “A cultural and spiritual pilgrim, he lives in London and Paris for most of each year.” What a creative way to describe homeless grifter.

He’s becoming more insufferable, if you can believe it. The dry begs, the fake spiritualism, the droning on about being a fucking grim pill… it’s stultifying. He really is a broken record… nothing new….as someone so astutely put it a while back…

BLATHER, WINCE, REPEAT.

(Some of you guys are very funny) 💋

Reply 94, The Pillager sounds like our former President!

“Small-town Tunis. Where I am right now. Lunch in the Médina. A restaurant I am writing about in my Wednesday Newsletter from (REDACTED) @shitstack. Heading back to finish it now that I have finished lunch. A morning at my desk. Now time for an afternoon there. Writing ain’t easy but it rights me. It’s all I have really. It’s all I have left: I am a writer. I write. Onward …”

MAYBE IT’S TIME TO GIVE IT UP, MARY!!

Oh, do finish that summer poem, Cousin Sebastian!

R97. Writing ain’t easy, but it rights him!!

WHAT A FUCKING DUMMY.

Buy a Nutri Bullet and then make your own, there are thousands of recipes to be found online.

Is there a reason he doesn’t work? I realize living in Airbnbs is probably cheaper than having a home, and I know you can get tickets on EasyJet for a song, and plops are likely cheaper than cans of Fancy Feast. Nevertheless, without any income, a very meager savings would dwindle pretty quickly if one spent ones time traveling the world, even if it’s on a shoestring budget. Is it that any legitimate paycheck might be garnished by the tax authorities?

Well, he does do freelance jobs (for z-list magazines) like “Appalachian Woman” and there’s his Shitstack “column”….he has MAJOR IRS problems and it’s simply uproarious, because he thinks the rules don’t apply to him. So he has an issue, and has rooked his Dr. brother into sending “post dated checks” to the IRS for restitution. Long gone are the days of expense accounts and swanky hotels…now it’s just threadbare womens thrifted sweaters, crusty, musty jeans that ache to be scrubbo’d…and shared bathrooms in rotted hostels. That’s our grim pill!!

He also manages to spectacularly burn every rickety rope bridge lifeline he’s offered for his “writing”. Grazing correspondent, CDFA articles?

All gone could it be connected to numerous posts about how he was on deadline and late delivering copy. When all he had to do all damn day was neglect his pets and harrass baristas!

He doesn’t want to do any actual work - if he expended half the energy he does on his pretentious pronouncements he might even keep a freelance gig.

R102. AMEN. He’d rather lie, and say he’s “press”, grifting free tickets and never reviewing anything (unless he finds someone “hot”)…and skulking around coffee shop bathrooms. (remember “I SHIT IN STARBUCKS!”?)😳. If that’s how you conduct yourself, and you’re utterly SHAMELESS about it…why try to get “honest” work? It was hysterical watching him drool and phumpher his way thru the Doris Kearns Goodwin “interview”…this was a crowd that WAS NOT gonna buy his “shut yo mouth” chicken-fried HUSTLE.

And what a gaping lopsided maw it is r102! I’m sure some of the hot as merde people he encounters pray the he will keep his rotting, fetid orifice closed.

Sorry r103 I was replying to you!

Nearly as addled as grim pillager

The Wednesday Shitstack is up and boy is it a dilly. TONS of Moronic wordplay, Magooey stupidity, and shoving his grim pill status and “narrative” down everyone’s fucking throat. He was CLEARLY being hustled (by a guy 40 years younger) to buy a tapestry…but decided to fall in love in his head instead. It’s simply pathetic. He didn’t buy a thing, and admonished the poor kid for calling him “Sir”…..TWICE. The kid was just being nice to a queen 40 YEARS OLDER. He didn’t know you had nothing. FOR GOD’S SAKE GRANNY, CALM THE FUCK DOWN. I honestly can’t wrap my head around his delusional behavior. I urge you to read it, it’s a new low in indulgent navel gazing.

Dripping with carnal desire and stupid cuntery 😂 a shitstack for the AGES

Oh Christ. A major “teaser” regarding some “upsetting” drama at the beach….followed by a repugnant photo of an open shirted Bav and her newt-like soft white underbelly 🤮🤮🤮🤮. stay tuned in TUNIS!

I posted about a real shake product up top. What in the fresh hell is going on in this thread.

Reply 108, it's those distracting rough trade beach boys, I tell you!

R110. We all knew he was gonna get “Venable’d”….😂😂😂 Apparently it was a distressing situation he “witnessed”. Stay Tunis’d for more!

Is this thread still about breakfast shakes?

R112. Yes. Post your fave recipe or tip. We love protein shakes with added fruit, chocolate, or probiotics.

On a fashion note, does one wear jeans with cuffs up to the knees after Labor Day?

OP here. This is certainly still a thread about breakfast shakes for us 👴🏼non-young’s. I’m still running down my latest (and hopefully last!) Sam’s Club bulk-buy of Carnation Breakfast. I am earnestly seeking new product recommendations. Also, I feel like Carmen san Diego getting all these responses about far-flung destinations like Tunisia and Massachusetts. I’m also befuddled by all the references to “plops” and “the light” and treacherous young trade of color. I’m only looking for a quick and easy breakfast that will fill me up without weighing me down. Im even ok with shakes that cause gas or other bowel distress, I just want something quick and easy for the type of gal who doesn’t have a home or friends or family or income.

R115. I second that emotion! If I happen to MAKE a shake where e’er I may be, and find myself with the “bubble guts” on my morning meditative meander…well, I just pop into a local coffeehouse…and yes, I SHIT IN STARBUCKS. I like to savor (and contribute!) to local aromas, and find this part of my day most invigorating. A smug selfie seals the deal and I’m off to irritate people that I deem “cool as merde”. If you are black, please allow me to annoy the flaming fuck out of you, and come thisclose to asking to touch your hair! I’m *THAT* queen. Surprised? SHUT YO MOUTH!!!

I’m crying as I type r116 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

The teats are out for breakfast! Daddy has plans to be on the beach sans jeans (they could walk the Camino themselves by now) or shirt - look out beachgoers!

The “part two” of her beach drama is on shitstack. It’s a terribly written account of a poor man drowning at the beach. He was CLEARLY too preoccupied by a “beautiful boy” in the water, and searching to compare himself to the old queen in DEATH IN VENICE, to *really* give a shit…so please don’t buy into the drivel about how it “profoundly affected” him. IF IT EVEN HAPPENED AT ALL. The writing on this entry is DREADFUL. Please seek it out and tell me I’m not crazy. There’s so much TYPICAL “me me me” in it, personally, I’m having an issue buying the entire thing. But as he always reminds us “You can’t make this shit up, well, you can, but I don’t!!” (AKA- THE BATTLE CRY OF A PATHOLOGICAL “EMBROIDERER”!)

Yes r119, he certainly made that guy’s purported drowning and death all about himself. He makes sure the reader knows how generous of spirit he is: after hightailing it away from beach to buy a cookie, he didn’t even burden the random snack bar boy with the knowledge the somebody drowned. As if that would have been in any way a normal or relevant topic to raise to a completely uninvolved stranger working (a probably single-digit dollars a day job) in an African beach town.

R120. Agree. The more I read his shitstack, the more this entry just doesn’t pass the “smell test”. It just doesn’t add up. Plus the dramatics of “Breathe, Breathe, Breathe” is just too fucking corny. If a man did pass away, may God rest his soul, but so much of this entry is “Bav-centric”, it actually makes me cringe. Let's face it, had the “beautiful boy” bobbling in the water given him the time of day…he’d be so dickmatized that World War 3 could have broken out. Plus the weirdness of his CONSTANT self body shaming, the reposting of the young Bav “swimsuit pic”….well, dear, if at 68 you haven’t come to terms with aging…you are doomed. If you actually thought about how many others your age would have LOVED to be 68…you’d sing a different tune. PS: and if you really cared about looking good, you’d fix that open sewer of a rotting mouth.

Ugh. She called herself “Daddy” again. I just vomited.🤢🤮

Oh my. The digs in tangiers look really grim. 3 months is a long time. I’m betting he bails. He crowed boastfully that if cafe baba is good enough for Barbara Hutton and “Anthony Boudain”, well it’s good enough for him! The place he’s staying looks more like a youth hostel, and I’m sure he’s the oldest fossil there. He mentions the bathroom and shower (on different floors), and I’m sure he’s delighted at the rotating cast of characters to feed his masturbatory fantasies. EW!!

The dry beg is on careful mention of how carefully he’s budgeted to be able to stay, wistful regret at not booking a double room (he slept on the fucking floor in the “loft”) and how grateful for advice from his acolytes that he should jump a plane to Paris if he can’t hack it. Time for a go fund?

Daddy is looking hot as merde in his “vintage” Talbots separates. The Maghreb climate really agrees with him 😋

R124 bingo. Plus the sly mention of the 17 dollar chicken dish he can eat “three or four times a week” as his “one daily meal”. As always, nothing is genuine or heartfelt…he always has an ulterior motive. I’m sure he keeps a few fraus on the hook via Facebook, and they “put money on his books” now and then. It’s repugnant, actually. It was SO CLEAR in Provincetown that he knew he was a fraud, and his face was a twisted mask of secret shame. I found it hysterical. You reap what you sow, CUNT.

Well, he’s camped out at Cafe Baba and this looks like his new “office”. He was able to equate himself with Barbara Hutton and Keith Richards… ”We’re from the same club!” he crowed to the owner🙄🙄!!. He’s made 3 “meet (BLANK)” posts, of folks he deemed cool OR hot as merde💩. PLUS, someone thought he “owned the place”, because (I’m sure) he was all splayed out, with tattered papers and books and his crusty laptop everywhere. Performative, attention seeking, and pathetic.

What’s next? An impromptu rendition of “Floozies” in the town square? The mind REELS.

Gross! Now he’s feeding feral cats bits of chicken and weaving Finn and Matty into his “narrative”. ZERO GUILT, ZERO SHAME.

His latest shitstack is just that. A stack of shit. He’s insanely jealous of “friend” Andy Cohen’s new 18 million dollar apartment, while he trudges his 68 year old bones up the hill to his spartan room in a sweaty, smelly, hostel. Maybe he should have thought of that years ago. He makes some stupid point about healing his “inner child” but it was so convoluted, my eyes crossed reading it. FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, MARY…get into fucking therapy! Oh, he actually calls himself “unhoused”, which I gather is the new “woke” way to say “homeless”. Maybe Andy can hook him up with Dorit’s charity “Homeless not Toothless”! 😂🦷🚫🪥

Before I inhale the ripe as merde blatherings on shitstack I’m loving the pouty posting about a bookstore where for once our pilgrim was told to stop taking unsolicited snaps of people at work! So incensed was he that he didn’t even purchase the book he alleges he was going to buy. Personally, I would apologise and buy out of shame. The bookstore owner just popped up in his comments and explains it makes people uncomfortable to be photographed as they go about their work - I love her! She’s being very polite about it. I note she says to him he was likely greeted by her employee who is a man. I wonder if our creepy old fester was up to his old lascivious tricks snapping pics of young men?

R130. That’s EXACTLY it. He was creeping, got busted, then got all butthurt about it. Just like he did in Hudson. He’d mope up and down Warren Street, with baggies of cat hair “cake” and take creeper pix of young men. I’m still standing on the square that SOMETHING HAPPENED, and all that ABRUPTLY stopped. He went from being “mr big deal” at local coffee shops, to the smelly weirdo all splayed out “working” at the library. Either way, people were FREAKED OUT.

He’s posting his plops. We’re back to eggs, spinach, blue cheese and garlic. NO TEETH NECESSARY! Plus, lots of “fragrant” flatulence on the “back end”. I’m sure he calls this a “win-win”!🤢🤮

Avoid Metrecal!

R132 his fellow hostel pilgrims will be able to share in the aromas via their shared shitter 🤢

Somebody be a love and tell this eldergay what trainwreck substack person you all are reading to flith, as I quietly sip my mocha Orgain with a straw. Thx xo!

R134. I’m CERTAIN he’s eating these things on purpose. You know how 💩“those people”💩 are ……ALWAYS RECRUITING!! You never know!

Well, we now know the Bav’s turn in “Eqqus” was opposite George Maharis in some dinner theater in Atlanta. How fitting. So when he posts that 50 yr old pic of him flitting about…realize it’s NOT on Broadway…I guess he though it was time to “get real”.😂😂😂

R135, Kevin Sessums writes Ses/sums it up substack. He is an Instagram personality.

R126, did you attend the P-Town event?

R139. Did you?

It was the event of the season, a veritable who’s that of the world of 1980s magazine publishing and the handful of elderly salesbottoms who admire them, still yearning to be cut from the herd.

He’s now hyper qualifying every pic with “I got permission to post this photograph”… I guess someone FINALLY ripped him a new asshole for his creeper pics…he also believes the hostel owner “has star quality”…:(see below)

“Small-town Tangier. This is my new friend Anas who helps run the Dar Gara hostel where I am staying until the end of November. I posted a video of him playing the guitar and singing the other day. He is as sweet and professional and kind as he is attractive. I got permission from him to post this photo of him on the beach. We’re going to build up your fan base, I joked but was sort of serious too. I am certainly a fan. And understanding star quality has been my job for over 30 years. He’s got it - humbly so - which is the best kind.”

I mean, he’s not UGLY, but having the Bav deign to call you a STAR would be like having “career cancer.” EW EW EW EW EW!! I’d rather have an ape rip my face off and frisbee it down the sewer.

Surprise Anas!

You in danger gurl

Anas is sweet as merde and just as attractive! 😋

R144. I wonder if the bav is aching to watch him “log out”….or at least bathe in the afterfumes!😂

All Kevin Sessums threads are scat threads. 💩

Jesus Christ. He had oysters for lunch with a bunch of weirdos, and the mere thought of him slurping them down has me gagging. I hate when REGULAR people do it, so watching *him* eating them would make me throw up. It’s just nasty, and I’m sure he’d be very theatrical about eating them “indulgently”. They are a nice departure from eggs and blue cheese…but they’ll stink up the bathroom just the same. Another win-win…AND OF COURSE HE WASN'T PAYING.

Dine on a dime!

Yeah, someone else’s. 🙄

Ugh. He wrote this long winded, effusive, ass-kissing post about the birthday of this weird, dumpy, woman who is the “treasurer of Burning Man”. I’d rather gouge my eyes out than attend THAT NIGHTMARE. But, I digress. He used her birthday to post himself wearing “Ella Fitzgerald’s sable” (ratty and tattered) that this weird bitch bought at auction. WELL, YET ANOTHER CHANCE FOR THE BAV TO CROSSDRESS!!! If she’s not running around in strange thrifted women’s separates, or posing for a picture “in couture” standing in some shit-ass boutique in Hudson, run by a fat fag with rosacea,, he’s simply not being his “authentic self”. An ancient crossdressing hag who is homeless, shits in Starbucks, and sponges off everyone and everything. Oh I forgot…allegedly enjoys merde in EVERY WAY possible!!

Good lord, he found some local elderly woman in small-town Tangier to scrubbo his crusty drawers for him and then proceeds to post a photo of his “clean” briefs hanging out to dry on the clothesline. The gross-out factor obviously gives him some sort of perverse thrill. But what on earth would possess someone to post so extensively about their learned helplessness and mooching off strangers and exhausted family?

Followed by a “Pick-a-Plop” series of recent dinners! A veritable “Choose your own Adventure!”….as long as all roads lead to the Hershey highway! ALLEGEDLY. Finding some poor woman to scrubbo fits right in with his “khandness of straainjahs” pathetic pilgrim “narritive”, and I’m certain he masturbated over the thrilling grift of it all. The funk coming off those drawers must have been nauseating, and he became aroused knowing he’s rooked some old fool into doing his fucking laundry

Perving over a new young gentleman he’s crowned “cool as shit” 🤢

R153 It’s repellant….if it’s not a perv pic, it’s a plop. Always “crowned” with something, doncha know…cuz he’s a writer!! Running around with these skeezy jeans on…why didn’t the old woman scrubbo those?? At this point, I’m sure they smell like merde. Oh, I forgot, that’s his “end game”.

Those filthy jeans are ready for their own pilgrimage- they’re so crusty they can stand alone!

The objectification of young men continues - saddo.

He just teased that “a melding has begun”…🙄. I bet those rotted jeans finally fused themselves onto his scaly lizard legs.

The indignity of having to eat scrambled eggs for dinner four nights a week! I know it’s a hell of his own making, but I sometimes feel sorry about his “pilgrim’s life” (which is the most lipstick-on-a-pig way to describe statelessness and total dearth of retirement savings).

R157 I think it’s a combo of finances and the fact that everything he eats is soft and mushy. His mouth is a train wreck, and TBH, no shade, I don’t know how one can prioritize travel & “kultcha” over dental health, knowing how important it is ….PLUS he has two dentists in his immediate family. I guess they are SO over his bullshit, or he’s too ashamed to ask. Either way, I shan’t e’er shed a tear for him. He’s a nasty cunt, and you reap what you sow.

I've never had one in my life.

Oh, hang onto your hats, fellas…this one is RICH.

Small-town Tangier. This felt as mystical as it was unexpected though I guess all mysticism is embedded in the unexpected. This lone white crane flew high up onto this cliff where I was walking today and intersected not only with my walk but also my life and this pilgrimage where I now live it. It came, alighted in my acknowledgment, then, acknowledged, left me in a kind of awe. I have been quite contemplative the last couple of days - not sad exactly, not lonely, but mindful of missing something without knowing if it were someone, unnamed, unmet, a longing to understand not an aloneness but a loneness. And then this: a loneness manifested as a winged creature of such beauty and magnificence, a lone white crane, who had within it - has - the ability not only to alight in a contemplative stillness but also to steady itself in flight. I more deeply steadied myself in the stillness where a lone white crane can come to rest in our shared contemplation, one where I cannot fly but can take flight. Onward …

The fumes must be affecting the affected spunky old medina relic. What utter horseshit.

I felt quite nauseous earlier when I spied him posting (yet again) topless pics from the past when he thought himself hot as merde. Even worse was other vile old eldergays thirsting after it 🤢

It’s one for the ages today, a Tangier-tastrophe. Someone stole our poor pilgrim’s berries n broccoli from the shared fridge, pauvre petit. Seems all the hostel dwellers aren’t his fans! He’s feeling butthurt and needs a few days private accommodation to recuperate- dry beg activated.

He also squeezes in mention of his “shared shitter”.

R162. He goes on to think that everyone in the hostel is making fun of him, which he brought in himself (he kinda admits) by being a fucking clown in the “common room”. His writing is deeply “embroidered”, ‘tis true, but I *FIRMLY* believe they are not only making fun of him, but they loathe him. Why? Because a creeper knows no boundaries. This is the same bav who perved in Hudson, perved in SF to the point of distraction (using drugs, and got fucking fired from two CUSHY jobs) and perved in Provincetown to the point the mere mention of his name elicits PEALS OF LAFFTER. Pilgrims existence? Try “plug n play”. The faces may change, but the song remains the same. We still don’t know what REALLY happened in Hudson, or on the Metro stairs in Paris.

R162. It’s getting worse…someone used up all his Mayo, and now he believes it’s a personal attack. From thinking people are laughing in his face, and talking about him…to stolen food and replacing the empty Mayo jar….THE BAV IS UNDER ATTACK!! The dry beg to stay with his new friend the “book hag” is well underway. STAY TUNED!!

Captain Queeg Goes to Tangiers!

Kevin Sessums is an asshole, but he is a human asshole who isn't famous enough to be incessantly stalked here, have accidents and ill health wished on him, and to have his health problems mocked.

He’s in Tangier? I’ve been waiting for this for months.

As ever tries to make Gavin Creel’s tragic death tenuously CONNECT to him. Pathetic wannabe starfucker.

To be fair, I think that cunt Kevin Sessums actually did fuck a star or two, and did have a tenure of starfucking at major magazines. If you're going to stalk, at least be accurate. It's not helping my argument that you're a bunch of past-it or never-was Hausfrauen fishwives (or equivalents) who have no concept of what having a life would be.

Get fucked you pathetic waste of life.

So angry! So resentful! So bitter!

Martha at r170 sent that from her iPhone

The dry beg is back in full force. Musing if it would be possible with constrained funds to cut time short in Tangier and go full Isherwood in Berlin. What’s promoted the sudden late summer exodus…lack of culture to give superficial reviews of? Too few hot as merde actors to fawn over? Or a funky COLD medina where the toothless “charms” have tested tolerances all round?

A crowd of saddos who refuse to let that minor cunt Kevin Sessums fade into the obscurity he deserves.

I didn't realize that carnation breakfast bars, the pseudo-healthy candy bar way to start off the day, had been discontinued.

It’s hard to distract from life without live performance art - opera, ballet, theatre - to distract.

"Bav!" A reflection of "just going from one goddamn frantic distraction to another..." Too bad our Mississippi Sissy can't afford someone to take dick-tation for him!

R173. “Mayo-gate” seems to have taken the wind out of his sails. Another hasty retreat, Mary? What happened THIS TIME?? Did you finally realize not everyone is transfixed by your “charm”(and creepy eyefucking??) I knew things would go sideways the minute you got rooked into that “tapestry” scam. Fucking idiot. So yes, R173, you are completely correct…the dry beg is in full effect, as he muses aloud about “crunching the numbers” to make a “month in Berlin” work. He’d love it there…all the merde queens seem to rave about it! Maybe he got a hankerin’ for a nut studded LOG.🤷🏻‍♂️ As all this is unfolding, he says an online “Brav-OHHH!” to that highly overrated Justin Vivian Bond on her(?) MacArthur Park Genius Grant. Someone left the cake 🎂out in the ☔️rain, indeed. What’s next? The Nobel Peace Prize to Joey Arias for hosting “Zumanity” in Las Vegas for 9 years?

I’m crying r178 😂 cannot wait for Goodbye to Berlin

If he’s not trying to centre himself in grief over Gavin Creel - he interviewed him, don’t you know? He’s try7ng to slither into the frame of infamy of cunts like Justi Viv.

OP this is all you need - unsweeteened cocoa powder, 1-2 bananas, pure whey protein powder, milk. blend and enjoy. freeze if you want a healthy treat that's even better than a frosty.

R180 ^ freeze bananas so you don't need to put ice cubes

I found frozen banana chunks at my Whole Foods, which seems like some Sandra Lee semi-homemade nonsense. They sell fresh bananas for a fraction of the price. I’ll stick to my Carnation Breakfast, which I can crown with my choice of toppings: bleu cheese, raw spinach, a sliver of gravlax, maybe some minced banana peel if I’m feeling my Carmen Miranda fantasy. Plus the Carnation has ample added calcium for those of us with brittle shoulders lol.

Excuse any typos, the power keeps going in and out at my council flat here in bumfuck UK.

I've blocked r182. 🚫 I'm sure it has something to do with the Kevin Sessums cult.

Yeah, that posting history is pretty oof and angry.

Being very careful about what personal details I reveal on this platform has yielded some hilarious conjecture!

OMG. The London Sexual Senior landlady posted a YouTube about masturbating. She’s fucking repulsive. Poor “Pan” having to deal with these two senior deviants skulking around the flat, the landlady’s quest for “self exploration” (call it what it is, bitch, you’re fingering your quim!) & the bav leering and longing for a fragrant movement to savor. (Allegedly) It’s really quite disgusting and I’m gagging just writing this. ew!!

Nooooooo she’s vile. Of course it explains why she likes Bav ewwwwwwww.

Well, we predicted it, the grim pill wore out his welcome in Tangier, and is off to Paris, before Vienna….As usual, we won’t get the full story, but I bet the missing Mayo was just the tip of the iceberg!!.

Maybe somebody stole Bav's mayo for lube at a freak-off!

I use Boost Plus, chocolate. I can't eat enough to stay healthy without the help of these, they've come in handy when older relatives get sick and have no appetite too.

Ensure, however, can be covered by insurance, but it has a chalky 'undertaste' and isn't a nutrient rich as a Boost+.

Yep r188 we called it. He must have managed to scare up a few dollars of dry beg cash, Paris for a month will be a lot more expensive than Tangier. He has done fuck all writing in the time he’s been there apart from streams of drivel on socials and shitstack - surely a couple of features could have been written? Nope, too lazy and entitled to be bothered doing real work.

What ever became of First Dibs / Last Rites?

R192 it was a substance induced fever dream and went the way of Sessums Magazine and soon Sess/Sums it up - a name it seems he’s dropped as it’s patently not a reviews site but was set up to continue a cash and free tickets grift.

R192….when your first chapters are incest adjacent, and everyone has black wax streaming out of their ears …where do you really go from there??

I wonder how many subscriptions and followers old Kevin Sessums gets from the undeserved amplification of his name here. Any publicity is good publicity after all.

You bitch(es) feed his insignificant grift.

“Daddy” isn’t happy… ps: I do believe that “Zelle” snafu he’s referring to is when the hustler in Hudson tried to “extort” money from him. But he conveniently leaves that part out… It’s that evergreen adage all over again. “Here I sit, all broken hearted💔, came to shit 💩, but only farted💨. ——————————————————————————- “Tomorrow I catch the fast train to Rabat for a few days mostly not only to see a different part of Morocco but also to live in an apartment by myself. The young people who work here at the Dar Gara hostel are lovely and it is beautifully run and I have grown to feel at home in my tiny room because I have become rather adaptable in my pilgrim's life. But two experiences the last two nights have proved it is not only time to head to a private space for a few days but also to get to Paris on October 28th for a month before my Christmas month in Vienna.

There is an alternating cast of characters in the communal aspect of living in a hostel - some are lovely, some are problematic which is why overall I have begun spending more time out in the city and then in my room when not cooking my meals in the open air kitchen on the terrace above me. I feel so often, as well, a kind of bemused patience with this eccentric old guy in the midst of this young international crowd smoking their hash/tobacco concoctions and carrying on conversations in an amalgam of languages that I am incapable of comprehending. But sometimes being looked on with a kind of disdainful bemusement is better than not being seen at all - which is also part of being old in such a crowd.

Last night there was an American woman with a complicated narrative on her way to check out from spending the night here who let it be known to me that she was short 60 dirham to get her to her next destination. I gave her 20 out of my wallet but then I saw the way she looked at what was left in it as if I had pulled out my dick and she were horny. I registered her rather rapacious eyes registering the other money I had in my wallet. Then she immediately asked if I had a Zelle account and wanting to borrow money that way "so I can then pay you back easier." I once fell for someone who used the same line on me and Chase locked me out of my own account since the security red flags went up about the person I had loaned a very small amount of money that way because I guess they were trying to gain access to my account. I had to jump through hoops to get it unlocked. I'm an easy mark because I am always trying to find ways to pay kindness forward in my life. But that immediate Zelle request sent my own alarms ringing.

Then just a moment ago there was a beautiful young woman upstairs who does not stay here but lives here in Morocco and is from Russia. I have noticed how often she visits. I think she must have romantic designs on or a relationship with someone who works here. I heard her last week talking politics and saying that "Ukraine has sold its soul to Israel" and continued to demonize the country. Tonight she began to tell me how much she loved Putin and what great things he was doing for Russia. I held up my hand and told her, "I don't agree with you so we just won't talk about that." She was talking to a young French man and German woman while I was waiting to brush my teeth in the bathroom upstairs after the person who was taking a shower finished. We all fell quiet.

I brushed my teeth.

I heard them talking more quietly in languages I didn't want to comprehend.

I'm now about to pack the smaller of my two suitcases.

Tomorrow: Rabat.” 🙄🙄🙄🙄

LOLOLOL. “I brushed my teeth”….ALL TWO OF THEM!!

Everything but the bloodhounds snapping at her rear end 😂

R196 I’d wager all the earlier pics and vids of young men he was thirsting after - the cool as merde crowd - didn’t exactly endear him to other hostel dwellers who laugh at his pathetic ways.

My favorite is this: “I'm an easy mark because I am always trying to find ways to pay kindness forward in my life” - what utter self-serving horsemerde!

Humble bragging about sharing your day old baked goods or making a cake for someone that you then EAT or taking a plus one to a performance on FREE tickets isn’t paying fuck all forward.

Kevin Sessums 係個屎忽，但佢係一個人類屎忽，佢唔夠出名，唔會喺呢度不斷被人追蹤，出事同健康唔好，仲要畀人嘲笑佢嘅健康問題

The less Bav has a Suddenly Last Summer moment, the better. Pushing luck, he's a catfish in a hot pond and he needs to get back to Europe ASAP; back to Paris where people speak the same languages where he was at, but couldn't understand (French and Arabic).

أنا أعرف بعض العربية

“I noticed a group of lesbians at Cafe Baba a couple of days ago and this morning I walked by two groups of gay men being given tours. This second group in this photo was watching me in recognition walk down the hill toward them and when I passed them I raised a fist in solidarity and got some smiles in return and some nodded heads”.

As a counterpoint to his whiny griping yesterday, the Bav decides to regale us with how he “connected” with a bunch of gays… he “raised a fist in solidarity”… Sure, Jan. ARE YOU SURE YOU WEREN'T SENDING A SIGNAL THAT YOU WANTED TO BE FISTED? Talk about being COMPLETELY out of step and acting the fool. Jesus Christ. LOL “Raised a fist in solidarity”😂😂 OKAY GLORIA STEINEM!.

So these Kevin Sessums threads are mostly one person talking to themselves, with one or two throwing breadcrumbs to the main talk-to-selfer to get them to perform. It's like a bunch of mentally challenged children at a sock puppet show.

I deride this thing that I’m willfully participating in! You’re mentally challenged children. I’m a scholar and a lady!

Tonite “Cinderella” is having some sour cream and onion Pringles™️, “crowned” with some ersatz “Tuna Salad” she made. She’s calling it “Trailer Trash Hors’ doeuvres”…and claims it’s actually good! Now, one may make up little “treats” in the kitchen, but does it warrant a post? IF YOU LIVE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF DRY BEGGING, IT DOES.

He really doesn’t do anything without an ulterior motive. He’s THAT kind of queen.

Omg she got lost *again* today, and made a huge production of her phone dying, and seeking refuge in a hotel to charge her phone. I guess she’s not aware that portable charges exist, and carrying one in a foreign land may be a wise choice. But then again, it would eliminate the drama that swirls around a Magooey moron playing the befuddled fogey. I just couldn’t do it. I’m not a grim pill, and I CERTAINLY don’t like to make a nuisance of myself.

The lost in the medina narrative afforded the CONNECTION with a young hotel concierge - male, natch. He even made the poor guy pose for a pic. Bav never misses a chance to be a leery old letch dependent on the kahndnessss of strrrrangers.

The sterile scent of antiseptic battled with the faint, lingering odor of stale coffee in the hospital room. Kevin Sessums, the Southern literary enfant terrible, lay motionless in the bed, tubes snaking from his nose and arms. His normally sharp, sardonic features were slack, his skin an alarming shade of pale. The culprit? A steady diet of "stra-fe" breakfasts – those hastily assembled, nutritionally dubious morning meals consumed on the fly. Years of black coffee and cigarettes had finally caught up with him, culminating in a spectacular digestive revolt that had landed him in a coma. Hovering over him like anxious angels of the absurd were three figures: Teacake, the flamboyant drag queen with a heart of gold; Defacto, the stoic artist whose every utterance was a performance piece; and Greg, the sensitive soul who couldn't stop crying. "Oh, Kevin, honey," Teacake wailed, dabbing at her eyes with a lace handkerchief. "You always did have a taste for the dramatic, but this is ridiculous! Waking up in a hospital gown? Where's the glamour in that, darling?" Defacto, perched on the edge of the bed, stared intently at Kevin's face. "His aura," he declared in a booming voice, "is the color of lukewarm grits. Not a good sign." Greg, meanwhile, had dissolved into a puddle of tears. "He promised we'd go to that new Vietnamese place! He promised!" he sobbed, clutching a crumpled napkin. The scene was a bizarre tableau of grief, camp, and Southern gothic. Teacake, resplendent in a feather boa and rhinestone-studded sunglasses, intermittently shrieked and offered Kevin sips of lukewarm Diet Coke. Defacto, clad in black leather and chains, periodically broke into interpretive dance, attempting to channel Kevin's subconscious. And Greg, bless his heart, just kept crying. Days turned into nights. The nurses, initially startled by the eccentric trio, grew accustomed to their presence, even developing a fondness for their peculiar brand of bedside vigil. Teacake regaled them with tales of Kevin's legendary wit, Defacto challenged them to philosophical debates, and Greg, well, he just kept crying. Then, one morning, a miracle occurred. Kevin's eyelids fluttered open. He blinked, confused, taking in the sight of his three friends. "What in the hell..." he rasped, his voice hoarse. Teacake squealed with delight. "Kevin, darling! You're back!" Defacto nodded sagely. "The grits have warmed," he proclaimed. Greg, overcome with emotion, simply threw his arms around Kevin, sobbing uncontrollably. "Get off me, you big crybaby," Kevin croaked, but a faint smile played on his lips. As the news of Kevin's awakening spread, the hospital room filled with well-wishers, a motley crew of writers, artists, and socialites. The air buzzed with laughter and chatter, a testament to the enduring power of friendship, even in the face of digestive disaster. And as Kevin, weak but recovering, surveyed the scene, he couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, there was a little glamour in this hospital room after all.

For somebody who lives to travel, our grim pillager sure gets lost a lot!

R209. It’s all part of his “schtick”…get lost, act bewildered, slither into a hotel where he really doesn’t belong (remember when he found one he *loved* to shit in? Way before Starbucks, mind you…long time Bav-ites will recall) and make a general nuisance of himself. I loved when he’d go to the Dior store in Paris and “camp out” on one of the sofas and “read”. What a fucking tool. Once again, hotel staff, baristas, retail salespeople…all “trapped”, and he knows it.

Those Dior vendueses are in danger - a Bav return looms!

on Frenchmen Street, Kevin Sessums, the acclaimed writer, nursed a Sazerac, his brow furrowed in thought. Across the room, Defacto, the enigmatic performance artist, captivated the crowd with their mesmerizing movements, their body a language all its own.Kevin, drawn to Defacto's raw energy, felt a familiar tug at his heart. He'd always been a sucker for the unconventional, the wild souls that burned bright. But there was another, a shadow lurking in the corner. Teacake, the reclusive painter, observed the scene with a quiet intensity, their eyes flickering between Kevin and Defacto. Teacake, known for their hauntingly beautiful portraits, had a way of seeing beneath the surface, capturing the essence of a person with a single stroke.As the night wore on, the air crackled with unspoken desires. Kevin, torn between Defacto's vibrant presence and Teacake's silent allure, found himself caught in a web of longing. Just when the tension seemed unbearable, a newcomer entered the bar. Greg, the charming musician, with his easy smile and soulful eyes, immediately caught Defacto's attention. The two fell into conversation, their laughter echoing through the room.Kevin watched, a pang of jealousy rising in his chest. Teacake, sensing his turmoil, approached him, their hand gently resting on his arm. A silent understanding passed between them, a shared acknowledgment of the tangled emotions that filled the room. As the night drew to a close, the four individuals found themselves at a crossroads. Defacto, torn between Greg's lighthearted charm and Kevin's intellectual depth. Kevin, wrestling with his attraction to both Defacto and Teacake. Teacake, the quiet observer, yearning for a connection they weren't sure they deserved. And Greg, oblivious to the undercurrents of desire swirling around him.The love quadrangle, a tangled knot of longing and uncertainty, was just beginning to unfold. In the heart of New Orleans, under the watchful eye of the moon, these four souls would navigate the complexities of love, searching for their own truth amidst the chaos.

[quote] I loved when he’d go to the Dior store in Paris and “camp out” on one of the sofas and “read”.

The gall!

The odor!

Kevin Sessums is working on his latest memoir. He's trying to decide on a title, and he's narrowed it down to two choices: "My Life with Teacake" or "Defacto, Greg, and me."

I don’t eat plops, & this latest entry from last night stymies me. But when you think your every bowel movement 💩 is a birthday cake🎂, you also think this worthy of a post.

“Small-town Tangier. Leftovers for Sunday dinner. When I save half the rice and roasted chicken from the day before and stir it into the garlic and green beans I have sautéed in olive oil and make a kind of good golly miss Molly that’s good goulash .”

How UTTERLY pathetic.

How pathetic it must be to try and summon your Sessums stalking friends, only to find they've ditched you for other sock puppet trolling pursuits.

R216 it’s a struggle not to retch when gazing at plops crowned with slops.

I see our aged desperado is affecting his leather daddy lewk in an effort to ensnare the young man from the hostel he’s currently fixated with 🤢

Nerve hit!

He’s just too old for all this gay posturing, MARY!

Over 30 posts on this Kevin Sessums thread (that aren't me) are by one user id. Here's the receipts.

And another

And yet another

Fuck off you tedious cunt - go play hall monitor on some other threads. FF for this cunt, pilgrims!

Kevin Sessums, balancing a precariously stacked plate of couscous on his head, declared to Defacto, who was juggling pomegranates while reciting Baudelaire in a thick Cajun accent, that Teacake had just ridden past on a camel wearing a fez fashioned entirely from Greg's discarded guitar picks.

Kevin Sessums, clutching his latest manuscript, tripped over a startled Teacake as they both emerged from the Parisian sewers, leaving a bewildered Greg and a surprisingly nonchalant Defacto to ponder the meaning of the "Eau de Toilette" sign.

Granny is at is again. Talking to “max” on the roof…”he’s 6’9. He is 18.

Only 50 years apart! EWWWWW

Exasperated with the incessant chatter directed at invisible companions, Teacake leaped onto the picnic table, snatched the monocle from Kevin Sessums' startled gaze, and dramatically proclaimed, "Enough with the ethereal pronouncements, Reginald! We've had it with your phantom tea parties and ghostly gossip!" while Defacto frantically attempted to stuff Greg's ears with olives to drown out the non-existent conversation.

Lots of thirst pics of the young guy who works in that hostel. She’s stalking a male ballet dancer too boasting about tickets on multiple evenings to see him. What’s a perky old “balletomane” to do?

Reply 227, 50 years AND 2 feet apart!

So he’s not leaving early? I’m impressed.

Oh he’s leaving early r231. Dry begs must have netted a few quid as he’s off to Paris for culture and ballet and balletomane meanderings. There’s Dior to doorstep and Pret to plop - tout magnifique!

His latest “creep” elicited a “You know the sexiest men!” from a fellow ugly person. The guy is okay, younger for sure, but not “super hot”. The fact they put up with the Bav’s twisted face, and nuclear sewer breath proves there are nice people left in the world. Did the bav “dangle the carrot” of being in his shitstack? I’m SURE HE DID. That’s what Diddy did, and that old queen from Abercrombie & Fitch. The Bav is MUCH SMALLER POTATOES, but the carrot dangles nonetheless. SICK SICK SICK.

Weaving perverted creeping into a stultifying drone about “Faith”. UTTERLY LAUGHABLE. The WORST WRITER ON PLANET EARTH. Who buys into this garbage? Uneducated fraus, who think this is “intelligent”?? The mind reels

“The other day I spotted a young man through an archway scurrying down from the kasbah toward Tangier’s Grand Socco and recognized him as the person who so often makes my coffee at Cinemateque de Tangier. “Ibrihim,” I heard myself whisper his name, the recognition an incantation, his namesake a unifying thread in the narrative that keeps trying to tell itself to me, one of faith embedded within all faiths and the search - the pilgrimage - to find it where doubt is its double. Faith without doubt is adherence. Faith without doubt is the broadcast dirge that aggressively bounces off those walls of the Medina five times a day. I am called instead to doubt which summons forth my faith. “Ibrihim,” I whispered when I could no longer see the scurrying young man, not his name but the incantation.”

Jesus Christ. He sucks. The corniness, the self importance, the boredom.

As usual, he made getting his HIV meds a fucking palaver involving everyone and their mother. “The Kahhhndness of Straiinngers!” yet again. Global drama…GOD FORBID he takes care of getting his own meds by himself. Oh he “treated” some weird women to coffee, in a cat hair strewn cafè. THAT’S “PAYING IT FORWARD”, isn’t it???

He made it to Paris, and of COURSE, his landlady is Chic! Gimcracks and “talismans” in place on his stupid desk, along with tattered paperbacks by James Baldwin, assorted rocks, a pine cone, a lone playing card. Simply pathetic.

And a vile looking pret plop… Eating fucking pre-packed overpriced crap from a chain in Paris, of all places.

Still, “papa” is back where he feels seen by the demimonde, can’t wait for a pic of his shared shitter!

R239. I’m sure he’s already partaking of the fragrant fumes!

[quote] lone playing card

Ace of spades?

“You can’t make this up…well, you CAN, but I don’t”…

“Chocolate Mousse”??? SURE, JAN!!! “My across-the-hall neighbor is a lovely 21-year-old young man from LA who is a chef and was accepted at a great restaurant here to start his career. His name is Ari and late last night our paths crossed in the kitchen for the first time and we shared some of this chocolate mousse he brought home with him. Chocolate mousse shared with a handsome young chef at midnight after coming home from the Paris Opera Ballet right down the street at the Palais Garnier .... aahhhhh ....yes ... Paris ... like a stereotypical Netflix series ... everything connects ...”

🫎💩

That chef better lock his bedroom door ro keep toothless gramps out!

Confirming our erstwhile traveler keeps updated on our thoughts there’s an explanation of why he eats the pedestrian crap it’s due to his higher calling as a pilgrim why even his shared shitter gets a shout out!

At least the food in Morocco was nutritious and cheap. In London he seems to exist on Starbucks, spaghetti and stale pastries.

In Paris, where the food is a lifestyle all its own, he “dry begs” living on “half sandwiches and crisps”…preferring to spend his “money” on the culture that nourishes him!! The symphony of foreign turdfumes from the shared bathroom only adds to his overall well-being. Tangiers didn’t cut the mustard, and in Paris, he fondly recalls the French girl who farted, and not unlike Proust’s madeleines, he yearns to savor the stench yet again.

Gay Paree has certainly enlivened the wizened senses. Showing what a master of letters he is with fulsome frottage of a statue of Pan - his “hoofed hairy horned handsome” avatar 🤢

Has he been able to peel that nacreous layer of soiled jeans off himself yet?

Speaking of soiled, permacrust pants firmly in place as he’s back to harassing handsome shopkeepers true to the playbook. He’s found one with a mutt called skat , and in case his acolytes don’t quite get it, he spells out his fondness for faeces “let’s just say I’m into her”. Christ he’s vile.

Not so coded messages sounding the clarion call that the cunt is into shitsex! Now I’ve seen everything. SHE’S COME UNDONE! Hanging out her (shit on a) shingle as a depraved doodie daddie! PEE-EWWW!! Well, desperate times call for desperate measures! Could all that fromage bleu have clogged her rotted pipes? Was the Joker correct when he exclaimed “THIS TOWN NEEDS AN ENEMA!!”?? We all know gay Paree ain’t Gotham City, but snuggling up to a dog named “Skat”???…HOLY CRAPLOGS!!! “YOU CANT MAKE THIS STUFF UP…well, you could, BUT I DONT!”

Message received, SCATMAN!

Now he’s creeping on a 17 yr old. OMG he’s really sick.

Paris looks drab, glary and overcast in his pictures.

Not his fault; but one must assume it is better in the springtime.

Now he’s droning on about staying overseas as a grim pill pretty much for good…I didn’t bother to read his shitstack, but know full well that this is going to be fraught with drama like the recent shit show regarding his meds. Sure, this may be just post election TRAUMA, considering Mrs. Walz makes a mean gingersnap🙄….but what *REALLY* annoys me is that we may have 4 MORE YEARS of him trying to make “The tacky fascist know nothing vulgarian” happen again. It didn’t stick the first time Mary, so let’s try something new, SHALL WE? Your act is really threadbare, and you need to try to be more scintillating. Can we at LEAST get another chapter in your insipid incest, black earwax, drama?? Or did you run out of your beloved meth??

Oh, enough with her knitting five dollar words together like some sort of gay spinster Mrs. Havisham trying to “teach us”.

Homeless, jobless, toothless, and single. Not even sure if she’s still sober, either.No thanks!

The ex-pat, teaching us wise lessons from afar!

It’s kind of like “The King and I”, but with rancid spinach plops, and an undying love of scat!

Kevin Sessums, a writer with eyes like haunted pools, stumbled through the moonlit forest, his heart a trapped bird in his chest. Behind him, the coven cackled, their voices echoing through the ancient trees. Defacto, the leader, with her obsidian eyes, Greg, whose laughter tasted of graveyard dust, and Teacake, sweet-faced but with a soul of poisoned honey, were gaining on him. He had stolen their grimoire, a book bound in human skin and filled with whispers of forgotten curses. Kevin, desperate, tripped over a gnarled root, the book tumbling from his grasp. As the coven descended, their shadows swallowing him whole, he braced for the inevitable, a single tear tracing a path down his cheek.

Homeless, jobless and toothless is no way to go through life, Bav.

About that "interview" with Sophia Loren... likely the questions were submitted electronically and her handlers had more than hand in answering them... ala Kim Kardashian's "last interview" with Elizabeth Taylor.

R259. It goes to show how utterly useless he really is. He has the NERVE to say he “no longer chases” celebrities, but drops names and plays the “remember when” game so often, it’s become his identity. He can post a trio of plops, or creep on “the cool kids” wherever he may be…but he really has nothing to add to the conversation. You’d think with all the shows he sees for free (notice he RARELY mentions “press tickets” anymore…hmmmmm) he’d review SOMETHING. He simply doesn’t. He grifts a meal here and there, between plops. He writes a puff piece for “Mentally Ill Mountain Woman” magazine, a Pitt gig given to him by some other loser, and now has VOWED to stay away for YEARS. Don’t you have to live in the USA at least some of the year? Who knows. All I know is that he recently alluded to being into “skat”, a canine he rolled around on the floor with in the middle of a store. A not so coded message, obviously trolling for merde dates. EW!!!!!!

The sheer desperation in dragging out some snaps of his wizened self with jug-eared Russell Tovey to wish him a public happy birthday 😂😂😂

I must be in the extreme minority, because everyone seems to think Tovey is super hot. I don’t. He’s average, and those ears are too much. But I’m sure the bav masturbates hoping tovey will snake a smelly craplog down his throat. 🎵Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife…🎶

The Bav shit the bed (😂) with this one. People are asking him if he’s drinking….as if booze was his problem😂😂😂!! This is truly the whisperings of a madwoman. Fucking pathetic.

He didn’t mention weird butt stuff? At least?

We got treated to a treatise on talc. How he keeps his nether regions “fresh” disgusting old creeper.

He’s certainly “on trend”….”dusting powder tok” is a growing subset of Tik Tok, with many a gal sharing her dollar store recipe. Weaving his “sports playing days” in this “narrative” is hysterical.

Now he’s dreaming about Shawn Mendes…as if he’d have anything to do with a liver spotted newt that looks like Gollum. I’m sure visions of sugar plums dance in his head, while he fantasizes about tasting Shawn’s nut studded deep brown “Yule log”.😂😂😂. ALLEGEDLY

Kevin Sessums is an asshole, but he is a human asshole who isn't famous enough to be incessantly stalked here, have accidents and ill health wished on him, and to have his health problems mocked.

Porto!

I’m actually going to be there at the same time! Not the full duration obviously as I’m neither jobless nor homeless.

Well take him to lunch and get back to us...

LOLOLOL. HE WAS THROWN OUT OF THE BALLET FOR TRYING TO SNEAK INTO AN EXPENSIVE SEAT!!! Plus AirBnb problems, a rotted tooth acting up, and Magooey issues with the trains!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!! (Oh, he sponged a dinner off a weird woman, and seemed indifferent, NOT FULL OF GRATITUDE!!)

“Small-town Vienna - ain't so small-town after all. I went to see Christopher Wheeldon's The Winter's Tale tonight performed by the Wiener Staatsballett at Wiener Staatsoper. I had an awful seat in the back of a side loge and even standing on the footrest I could only see about 1/4 of the stage. What I saw seemed to be danced rather well. I ended up just focusing on the orchestra since here the orchestra pit isn't actually a pit and the orchestra is almost on the same level as the audience down in those seats. In fact, there were five empty seats off the aisle on the second row. So in the first interval I went down to sit in the aisle one and two women sat in two of the four other seats next to me. I have done this for fifty years of going to operas and ballet and theatre. When there is a better seat I move to it during an interval. I do it at the Royal Opera House all the time. And in Paris at the Palais Garnier and at the Bastille the ushers actually move you down to better seats right before the curtain. It's the French egalitarian way and why I love them so much. At the Met in NY I move to better seats as well. In Broadway theaters, I do it all the time.

Tonight for the first time ever in my life right before the curtain in the second act an officious usher or manager or some sort of factotum came and told me to get up and that I had to leave and basically threw me out of the house. I had a real walk of shame up this aisle as the whole audience in their seats watched me walk out. Believe me, almost all eyes were on the ugly American being shamed. Another usher looked worried as I exited - maybe a fellow gay man in solidarity with me - and wanted to know what was wrong. I told him I was basically thrown out.

Vienna, I'm getting the message: leave. You're throwing me out.

Tonight was on top of the underground trains to my station not running. My problems with my Airbnb. And I also have a bad tooth suddenly that feels as if I need a root canal. That started up yesterday too. The only nice thing was my early dinner tonight with the lovely Viennese woman who reached out and shared it with me. That balances some of this. But I will never forget that walk of shame tonight as all those Austrian eyes were on me in that opera house. Never. I have more tickets to other evenings there but I will arrive with my tail tucked and believe me you'll never see another photo of that place ever again from me.

I do like walking around the city. It's beautiful and .. well .. walkable. But it doesn't like me back.

Onward might mean exiting early and maybe going to Paris for ten days at the end of December before my return to London. Vienna is maybe being put in my path to prove to me that home is indeed Paris and London and Tangier. Maybe that is what this is about in a positive way”.

I’m giving thanks 😂😂😂 How very DARE the usher eject a grifter with decades of experience for stealing a seat.

The unspecified Airbnb problems with rotten tooth revisited has the heady, rich scent of the Christmas dry beg!

R273. IT SURE DOES

Oh, and his “padded laptop case” was “stolen” out of his room…looks like it’s gonna be a hard candy Christmas here in Vienna for our bav…

🎶Hey, maybe I’ll eat some scat…🎵

ALLEGEDLY

Surely damage to his laptop as a result of this egregious theft cannot be far behind? Whatever would the acolytes do if the shitstack was somehow suspended due to equipment failure? We haven’t had a laptop beg since the heady heights of the Hudson “loft” so it’s about time.

R70, Don’t forget TOOTHLESS

Hahaha 🤣 indeed not toothless either!

Don't gaslight our Bav! You don't think he will notice the loss of a precious heirloom like a padded laptop case? He only has ten personal belongings. You stole it because you knew it was valuable, and only returned it because you knew that theft of such a high-value item would have you locked up in prison for the rest of your life. You Germans and your rap headphones!!

All signs point to leaving Vienna, but he’s made it abundantly clear it’s not financially feasible, telling person after person…..now if that’s not a dry beg, WHAT IS?? He’s *actually* upset that not every little thing is going his way, and that he couldn’t steal a better seat at the opera. What a chunk of dogshit.

His latest shitstack has wordplay gems like “courage ….courreges” and “tourist….tsuris”.🙄🙄🙄🙄 Plus he screams at a woman named Macbeth, spraying his spittle into her face. SURE, JAN.

Lady Macbreath 🤢🤢🤮

Bav’s current theme

“This means nothing to me This means nothing to me Oh, Vienna…”

things you may have missed:

Someone stole his toothpaste (oh! Talk about DRAMATIC IRONY!!) He creeped once again on an Orthodox Jew….”with straight, flowing payes”….(a recurring fetish) He *REALLY* creeped out a guy sitting in the window of some café, but was ELATED when the “hot” waiter recognized his “usual” order. (stalking the “trapped” employee, once again) He blathered on about the recently deceased Gavin Creel, as if HIS thoughts on the memorial had any weight or merit. He annoyed 2 old women daily, to the point where they seemed to have abandoned their regular meeting spot, just to avoid him! He saw some idiotic theater, and after being humiliated by slinking down to a better seat, he returns with zero shame to “THAT PLACE”. Only a seasoned, grifting, queen would be so aghast at actually having TO FOLLOW THE RULES!

And these reasons are why he’s a piece of shit! Physician, EAT THYSELF!! 😂😂😂😂

The festive dry beg went well. Some sap who lives there has been cooking him dinner and invited him for Christmas though our pilgrim will no doubt be missing his Black Friends.

Still taking creeper pics of young men and boys…one of these days…

He’s heading to Prague, but is leaving belongings in his Vienna hostel room which does not lock.

Why???

R285, he’s going to pap the wrong teen one day and lose the rest of his teeth!

Exactly r286 it’s fucking ridiculous. The beg isn’t over, several times he’s said he’s at his budget limit and can’t afford to move. If this shithole is an Air bnb you report it as being unsafe, get a refund and move. The drama is manufactured for the $$$upport from his followers. Strange batshit London “landlady” didn’t invite him for Christmas with her and Pan!

Onward pilgrim soldiers…

R288. Let’s not forget, The “sexual senior London landlady” threw tony a dinner party and the Bav was not invited, and kept to his basement room, once again the poor queen with her nose pressed against the bakery window…(I’m sure clucking to herself about her former life…”if they *ONLY* knew!”). Now, leaving his room (that has no lock) after writing AT LENGTH today about a “surly” teen who “was probably dope sick” is a foolish move that will lead to a massive holiday dry beg, JUST WATCH. Oh, and the fat toad who invited him to Christmas dinner looks really repulsive….birds of a feather 👃🏽💩!! But what do I know?

Am I missing something or has it been nearly six months since we got an installment of First Dibs/Last Rites?

the CEO killer staying in a NYC hostel got me thinking of Bav in all the hostels he's stayed in lately.

Could Bav have run across the killer during his travels and taken his picture?

It cracks me up that he was surprised that German speakers are obsessed with rules about ANTHING, let alone what seat you paid for.

He added screenshots of his response to complaints that he misquoted someone saying The Prince Of Tides was about Barbra Streisand forgiving Jason Gould in the early 90s. Is this a reference to Jason’s gossiped about health status?

My word, how nasty of him.

R290 the subscribers must know! What happened to our new magnum opus? Surely we cannot be left in a Capote-esque limbo…

R293. “HIV shaming”, is a theme that runs thru a lot of his writings and personal interactions. He at one time boasted about having “the biggest,” “cleanest” dick in NYC. Then he became positive. Other posters have documented this with first hand accounts. He’d be crowing about all of this during his (never did anything) “ACT-UP” days.

He’s really a sociopath.

R294. Rest assured, it’s long been abandoned. Another FLOP project used to rope in poor “subscribers”….like his “magazine” which was a horrific retread VF articles, (and the “bonus” of some audio!🙄)….Funny, in all of his “frame of fame” boasting…he rarely mentions that Cher hates his fucking guts. She can spot a phony from a mile away, and was having none of his bullshit. I wonder, did he make weird, sexually charged comments to HER also? Sam Shepard and Michael J. Fox sure were repulsed. Hugh Jackman played along, but kept it breezy. I’m sure he was cringing deep down. EW!

Looks like grandma is growing her hideous beard back, and may be cat sitting for Christmas.🙄. Naturally, he had to drag out Finn & Matty and drag their memory around the block, leaving out the part about how he dumped them, and how their lives in Hudson were a living hell, where he changed their litter ONCE A WEEK, and the entire loft reeked of cat piss and shit. I think he wanted it that way….Revisit the now famous “pah” videos on YouTube to see them showing their assholes to the camera as they climb all over the kitchen. Fucking disgusting.

And the grift goes on! Seems the cat abandoner has managed to score a cat sitting gig in a wealthy gay’s apartment over Christmas. I do hope that guy hasn’t given his cleaner an extended holiday break 💩 Just think of the Viennese “adventures” Daddy can get up to pretending such a posh apartment is his. Baristas twinks, beware!

Speaking of baristas, she’s in a snit about people looking down on Starbucks. I mean Vienna is filled with some of the best coffee houses in the world but eschewing them to SHIT in Starbucks is proof of being a pilgrim, not a mere tourist.

Wish someone would tell this insufferable bloviator that Starbucks toilets globally are locked due to the HOMELESS shitting in them.

Who was Pan? Was that even a proper noun or just an oblique reference to oil cakes and cat hair pah?

R300 Pan is the “hot” boarder in London (Landlady is the weird, brassy, elderly, “sex podcaster”) who leaves fragrant, lingering, bowel movement odours for the bav to *allegedly* savor. He also is a frequent source of his masturbatory fantasies as he plays with that one DISGUSTINGLY DISTENDED nipple he’s so proud of. We’ve never seen a full pic of him, just a sideways glimpse.

our brave bav had such an incredible time at the ballet, tears streaming down his caved in face, that he was willing to forgive the Vienna State Opera for not allowing him to steal a better seat, and treating him like the entitled fucking TRASH that he is. It fills my heart with holiday joy that the bav can now go cat sit for some weirdos cat and finger his own shithole for a few days. It’s a Christmas Miracle! 🙄

CHRISTMAS DRY BEG: ACTIVATED!!

She lost her AirPods AGAIN, her third pair…and wrote a real dry beggy post about it….here ‘Tis!

Well, it looks like I finally lost another pair of Apple Airpods. At least I had them for a while longer than usual. I could have sworn I put them in my backpack today and never took them out. Who knows. God I hate this addled old man stage of my life. Hate it. I always end up losing stuff like this - especially this. My second or third pair to misplace. I am completely stumped by this time though. Completely. Ugh. So frustrating. i have no memory of removing them today. None.

Please don’t offer her any “off brand”products….it’s APPLE or nothing for this grotesque, queen. SHE DESERVES IT!! she’s a pilgrim of the world, doncha know!!😂😂😂

I love that festive beg! 🎄can a MacBook be far behind? The only way the devoted can enjoy the prilgrim’s regress. But I digress surely the headline of the season is the toothless terror’s avowed abandonment of Facebook and Insta 😳 for moral high ground reasons, you understand.

R304. I’ll believe that when I see it! The direct pipeline to his fraus is farrrr too lucrative to leave behind. Not unlike a convict on “Love after Lockup”, we can rest assured his chicken fried “Shut Yo Mouth” hustle is workin’ overtime to secure those AirPods! God forbid he loses them around Black Friday and a gal could save a coin or two. GEEZ!! I loved when he lost them 2 times ago and someone offered him a “as good as Apple” pair, and he steepled his hand at his bosom and “just couldn’t”. Apparently, beggars CAN be choosers, and he can fuck ALL THE WAY OFF.

He has a Bluesky account.

I have one too, but that platform is very boring. It has the vibe of pre-2013 Twitter but it is less a free for all and more cliquish. Users already have banning lists to create their echo chambers it is and full of Gen Z.

He found his AirPods. This is what’s known as the “long con”. He’ll store that “find” in his quiver and save it up for the next “beg”. Like he did with those really expensive glasses, hectoring the company for a freebie. Most people would just get 8 pairs from Zenni and be done with it. Not our Bav…shameless and sickening.

In the long-winded addled but grateful post re the AirPods a sly dry festive beg remained. He would have had to replace them from his meagre pilgrim budget by giving up something else - sacrificing the culture that sustains, surely not! He even considered “a cheaper facsimile of them” - so humble. I guess he forgot the previous lengthy posts about why he couldn’t entertain an earphone that wasn’t Apple - for shame.

Oh, thank Goddess!

Yes R309! Thank the dental goddess and 3(!!!) women named Katarina who had to smell the rotted decay from that wretched sewer of a mouth. I’m sure they were gagging. He then harangued some young “cool kid” into taking his picture as if anyone cares what he looked like or where he was. The kid looks nice enough, but like with every waiter, barista, or hostel mate…it’s a prolonged chance for him to eye fuck them, and dream of a hot, smelly, stanklog sliding down his throat. Because….SCAT! (Allegedly)

Fellow travelers, sad news this festive season. Our pilgrim is resolved to depart Facebook and instagram never to return! OG Bav is distraught, of course. It seems counterintuitive for a raging narcissist to cut off affirmative supply, non?

Onward

Please post the OG Bav comments to this thread - they are always more of a delight than anything the Grim Pillager manages to scribble down.

His 🎄eve host posted a video and he seems like the most INSUFFERABLE PAIN IN THE ASS. The camera was turned on the bav, and he grimaced thru “his turn”. I’ll try to post it….ps merry Christmas bav-ites!

It’s a wanderful life for our pilgrim this festive season - the greatest hits so far… Pics of when he was a desperate would be star fucker (outside frame of fame ad nauseum)

Dead dogs

Abandoned cats

Over sharing pics of the lovely home of someone who generously gave him free lodging while making vaguely sexual remarks about his cat!

OMG his Christmas shitstack has Joni Mitchell, that moronic cat he’s sitting for, his Jewish fetish, his dead parents, the smelly old woman whose feet he washed in SF, Gerry, who I now believe he ate out…and a lot of “pilgrim” bullshit. It’s eye-crossingly bad, with “chewy” wordplay that would make a 10th grade creative writing teacher beam with pride. In other words, IT SUCKS.

This is simply fucking pathetic:

“Small-town Vienna. When Grigetto comes to join me as I am lying in bed and uses me as his own bed and curls up beneath my chin and against my throat so that his deep and deepening purrs can seem at times to be coming from me instead or maybe both of us as their vibrations blend in with my breathing as he times that too, his breath, with mine. A Sunday night in Vienna. Cats are shamans. Or show us that we can be ourselves”

As someone suggested, these cat posts are sexual. Fucking sicko..

Light a candle, fellow grim pills! Will tomorrow mark the end of multiple daily posts to the nefarious Facebook and Instagram, as retribution for bending their Trumpian knees? Surely the Zuck will make a special plea to our Bav in hopes that he will change his mind. Think of all the people who won't be able to read his screeds, especially those who "needed to read this today". Or the theatah and Starbucks toilets and lithe male shop attendants that no one would ever know about if they weren't featured in his curated feed.

Definitely discomfiting

Yes r317 it looks like we have a moratorium. We have gone the way of Sessums Magazine 🤣

This is likely a gambit to drive the faaaaaans to subscribe to shitstack for a few dollars as the stipends must be running very thin. Bav adventures with baristas and balletomanes will go unrecorded, alas it’s a new world.

Cousin Sebastion will not continue his poem!

What a gentleman for vacuuming his rat nest before departing. Surely this act of kindness and generosity will be highlighted in his hagiography, right under foot-washing the homeless.

Yes he did rather over egg that! I noticed he also said what an act of service he was doing by cleaning the cat’s litter box in the apartment he scammed. When he wasn’t making sexualised remarks about the cat.

A far cry from the filthy Hudson “loft” that reeked so badly of cat piss and shit it sent guests fleeing.

R322. Yes! His bathroom and laundry room in Hudson were so fucking filthy, the real estate people cobbled together pics from the downstairs bathroom and laundry when listing his dump….for $3100 a month. The bathroom must have been a nightmare. Fucking slob.

Someone explain the Hudson loft situation to me.

I have seen pictures of his Spartan apartment carefully decorated with small pieces of mid-century art.

Why did he flee and from whence did the cat piss rumours originate?

OG Bav is letting him know that he is tainted AND difficult, and she will not be following him to Bluesky. Pour out a glass of rich whole white milk for a real one.

***** Your followers are saddened and those of us more stable oldsters will not be able to follow your other chains since trying to figure out all that other technology is just too much over load from the basics.

You just had to make things complicated and change, just to be like everything else. Tainted and difficult just because you can.

I for one don’t have it in me to have to seek out an entirely different venue.

Good old habits are like old shoes. They’re comfortable for a truly good reason. Om sat nam and wu wei.!!

Oh well .. 🎀🕯🪶♾️

I love ❤️ OG Bav reading him to filth!

Still cannot fathom why a narcissist would cut off their supply of adulation and approval. Maybe shitstack is giving all the validation needed to facilitate the “pilgrim’s” progress…

Poor OG Bav. That sucks that she’ll miss out on something she enjoys.

I’m the OP of the old “Leave It To Bavoir” thread and I just want to thank all you wonderful Pointless Bitches for turning my silly pun into the default KS nom de 💩.

🥛 Rich whole white milk for everyone in the house!! 🥛

Carnation Breakfast delights!

I love you all, and I hope you took a moment to read the lastest shitstack…💩🥞! It’s a tangled word salad of Shakespeare, Sigourney Weaver, and the bav, not fully understanding “Shakes-speak”. My eyes crossed just trying to “get it”. I’m glad I didn’t, because it means I’m not deranged. He also, once again, effed up his HIV meds, and what was once free, will now cost him 1500, then 940. He’s in a bit of a dither over it, but he threw himself at a London AIDS charity and got 2 months for free, last go-round…so I’m sure he’ll do it again. In other news, his MacBook is dying, and the dry beg was in full effect. Granted, he had to temper it a bit, weaving his small donation to the LA wildfires into “the narritive”🙄. That’s what’s known as the LONG CON folks…but then y’all knew that. Hats off to the OG Bav for reading him to fucking filth…she deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for her laser-like read. You know he saw it and is obsessing over it….😂😂😂

Another OG Bav fan here. Did he ever respond to any of her posts? Once she posted a rather lengthy account of her own employment history... I'm forgetting what would have prompted it...

was that ever discussed?

Om sat nam and wu wei.

R331. It’s VERY rare that he bothers answering “the great unwashed”. He’s still a snobby cunt. Homeless, yet *STILL* an insufferable, haughty, queen.

🤷🏻‍♂️go figure.

[quote] He also, once again, effed up his HIV meds, and what was once free, will now cost him 1500, then 940

That’s actually horrifying. How did he manage that?

R333. He “missed” an important piece of mail that his brother “faithfully forwards to him”…it’s really quite a clusterfuck, but he skirts assigning blame to anyone, and takes it on the chin. Such a trooper our Bav! It’s all artfully worded to evoke sympathy, setting the stage for the big MacBook “dry beg”. You know, he NEEDS it to keep on working!!🙄🙄🙄. I guess grifting is a full time job.

God bless doctor brother for so dutifully sending his mail on. He is a better man than me, who would let it pile up until he picks it up, or throw it away entirely.

He doesn’t just « forward » it in the traditional sense, seeing as pilgrim brother has no mailing address. He opens everything, scans every page, and emails it. To call that a favor or a chore would be an understatement.

I just don't see the Facebook moratorium lasting. Making a political point is all well & good, but the narcissistic supply must flow. As it starts drying up, he'll find some noble reason why he simply must return, for he must share his political and artistic insights with the widest audience possible. That's the burden of being a Writer.

I wonder if our Cousin Sebastian could travel to the Bermuda Triangle to continue his pilgrimage?

R337. I’m afraid you may be correct. One of his male fraus IMPLORED us to subscribe to the bav’s shitstack 💩🥞. It was really rather pathetic. Something along the lines of “WE NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE!”

But, in fact, we really don’t… He tried to make “The Tacky Know-Nothing Fascist Vulgarian” happen re: TRUMP, but it never stuck. He was looking for his “Where’s the Beef?”!! But, there he sat, all broken hearted….came for scat, but only farted.

Or sharted

STARBUCKS NOW HAS A “NO BATHROOM WITHOUT PURCHASE” POLICY…

How will that affect Bav’s “I shit in Starbucks!” lifestyle? He won’t be able to camp out there all day, either. So, “Two Honeys” 🙄will have to take her “business” elsewhere. Baristas all over the globe are rejoicing over the fact that a homeless, liver spotted, newt won’t be eyefucking them while darting his tongue around wildly like a mentally ill creeper, after taking a lengthy, smelly, shit.

score one for corporate coffee!! 🤪

And so a new chapter of the Pill Grim Age begins:

I Shit in Pret.

R341 I’m crying with laughter- thank you

R343 my pleasure! I am flattered once again…I write these on the fly, usually on my beloved ambian…unlike the Bav…I can take a drug without racing to get fisted up the shitter by some scabby hustler. Allegedly (?) Please do not bother to read this weeks “letter”…it’s stupid. He rambles on about some dumb sculpture, chides Nicole Kidman for her plastic surgery, in that cunty way only *he* can…”She’s her own faces “Top!” Whatever the fuck *THAT* means. Granted, the plastic surgery to help him hasn’t been invented yet…but may I informally suggest some old school “PORCELANA” for those rotted liver spots on your head, dear? Then you can fly the “I look like Yul Brenner” flag with your clean chrome dome held high! I refuse to see what he’s doing on “blue sky”…I’ll piece together his crumbs and make a patchwork post of his ongoing stupidity. OH! He made sure we know he has “everything connects” on one shoulder, and “Onward!” on the other. He always fails to mention the MASSIVE botched tattoo he got in Provincetown right before his infamous nude, drug fueled “dead of winter”wharf meltdown…(when he told the cops “I need to get fucked, RIGHT NOW!!!). I really roar with laughter whenever someone brings it up…I overheard someone tell it at a New Years Eve party, and the general consensus was that he’s a huge JOKE. Oh well, that’s payback for being a snotty cunt during his younger NYC days. Karma never needs your address, dear.

I just took a dive into the OG Bav's FB page, r325, and she is such a sweet woman, alone with health issues. She has predictably been cruelly ignored by our grim pill, though she has always been one of his biggest fans. He has never acknowledged her even once.

I knew our grim pill back in the day, when he was slumming with ACT UP.. The way he he re-frames his time in that era is nothing but stolen valor. I despised him then, but I loathe him now for that and the way he has mistreated OG Bav.

We should send OG Bav a group letter of fondness and appreciation.

And a link to this thread.

Another OG Bav fan here.....

Yes R346, please get her on this thread where she is acknowledged and appreciated

Please don’t read the Bav’s shit stack💩🥞. I’ll summarize it for you. He dreamed of feline and canine feces (no joke) and someone who “done him wrong” in San Francisco. I’m pretty certain he’s referring to the missing puzzle piece as to why he got fired TWICE from cushy “do nothing” jobs. It was def drug related…that I know. He promised to tell us, but never did. The “washing the old hags feet” narrative is more compelling to him yet still quite strange. The gag was he was flying to her bedside when she croaked. Oh well! Then he rambled on about Bob Dylan, weaving his own stab at stardom into a moth eaten tapestry of minimal talent (FLOOZIES, ANYONE??) marred by rampant, active addiction. He manages to leave out the “I’m a massive cunt!” part. It’s all very “word salad-y”, and stupid. Then he mentions meeting Trump at an Oscar Party, braying “Who the fuck are you?” back at Trump, after Trump sees him hob knobbing with the celebs. This is all regurgitated verbal diarrhea, stories from the same slopwagon he’s dragged around for years. I read this so you do not have to. It’s my way of “giving back”! It ends with him at a dinner party,🙄, bemused by a black lady who hates Kamala, and a white lady who “cashmere shrugged” indifferently about Trump. More fucking inane stupidity. I began to get a migraine. He casually mentions Starbucks, but doesn’t say if he took a shit there. I can’t imagine dreaming about cat shit, but considering it’s common knowledge he never cleaned his cat’s litter box in Hudson, it may be part of his scat fetish BEATS ME!!.🤷🏻‍♂️. WHO DOES THAT????

Thank you for your service, R358.

Stay safe.

^^ R348. I hate my thumbs.

R349 thank you! You stay safe also.

He's posted 3 times in 24 hours to implore his followers to join him at bluesky and substack

When a FB follower suggests that this is a bad time to distance himself from followers, he replied:

"I can’t compartmentalize . I know I am an outlier but not the first time."

He's an outlier, forsooth!

He is an out liar, certainly.

Always tilting at windmills, with splinters in the windmills of his mind!

"She comes back to tell me she's gone."

This weeks shit stack is just that. A STACK OF SHIT🥞💩. At least he isn’t dreaming of fetid feline feces and chunky canine crap! “Yesterday I finished up my column about finding order and decency within the indecency and disorder being unleashed by Trump and his regime with an ode to baking and the contemplative meditative meaning I can find in being a bit of a baker myself. So as a through-line today I thought I’d highlight some other kinds of Bakers. First up: Josephine.” 🙄🙄🙄🙄( insert a bunch of cut and paste Josephine baker filler) then he flirts with reviving his “baking videos”, and he made an olive oil cake, and gave out bagged slices to the girl in Starbucks and some other fucking moron. I’m jumping around here, picking out the juicier nuggets. Here is his take on fellow pantload Andrew Sullivan…(whom I avoided like the plague over the years). Here’s what the Bav sez: “I have private and personal issues with Andrew who for many years was a dear friend. I loved him. And in many ways still do. Friendships may end but the love one feels for that friend remains. It is not a shadow but a sure thing. It has its own, yes, identity apart from the friendship itself. So for years I just gave him a pass about his public writings and stances because it was all so entwined with those other issues between the two of us. But during the campaign and in the midst of his transphobic campaigns to demonize a whole segment of the population which alines with Trump’s and the MAGA movement, I got tired of giving him a public pass.” You just know he dreams about “going brown” with Andrew💩. He then reposts a review of “Emelia Pérez” by “the female Bav” Joan Juliet Buck, who is so fucking insufferable…I hate that old cunt. His fur coat fetish is also on full display, and everytime he sees one he thinks he’s in Vienna!! LOL. At least he didn’t repost the moth eaten Ella Fitzgerald sable pic from San Francisco, but I’m noticing ALOT of regurgitated shit, just like last week. I DO hope he posts more baking videos. The dry mouth, the odd, femmy drawl, the swirling hands…you’d think you were watching Truman Capote on THE STANLEY SEIGEL SHOW!!😂😂

LOL Sure, Jan.

Bav has tripped up (oops not literally) by tripping the moral high ground. Losing his ardent followers on faceache and insta has definitely destabilised but he won’t admit it. That regurgitation is all par for the course and an effort to trick his subscribers into thinking they’re receiving “original” content.

Since he doesn’t have incessant posts and creeper pics to occupy himself where are the thoughtful reviews of theatre or ballet? The grifting cunt just wants to keep playing the long con.

Kudos for the Stanley Siegel Show reference R356!!

You have more camp cultural literacy in your left pinky than Bav does in his entire liver spotted, ghastly, Riding Helmet adorned noggin..

Over the last few years Facebook featured fewer fun and fantastic faces. It became rather than book more a corporate collection of choreographed crapulence. Sadly I had to abandon it as I had done my beloved forever feline, Finn. May I politely suggest Substack subscription?

Uh…this is just too fucking manic. First, he calls it (on shitstack) “Lyle Lovett Pasta”….then he calls it “Fuck Trump Pasta”…. But our loyal readers know it as a PLOP. Lord, I hope this video “embeds” cuz it’s RARE ENTERTAINMENT…

Well, it looks like his latest post is a huge “poor poor pitiful me” screed about being detained at the airport, crying, 😂 & arranging his HIV meds. (dry beg, ACTIVATE!) “Because later that week when my sister went to pick up my monthly prescription of Genvoya, my HIV med, at the pharmacy back in America we discovered that what had cost me $0 for as long as I had been taking it - sometimes maybe a copay of $10 or so - was now $1500 because of a new Medicare Advantage policy to which I was told I had to change wouldn’t cover all the cost anymore. (Genvoya’s full average monthly cost in America is $4,867.73.0.) After January, it would be $940 a month for me for the rest of 2025. I could not afford it. I was in a tearful panic. I had a bit less than a month of Genvoya left.” 😭😭😭 HOW SOMEONE CAN BE SO CAVALIER ABOUT THIS ESCAPES ME…but, the Bav being who he is, it kinda makes sense…he’s too busy nourishing himself with cultcha and “the dance” to fret over a silly pill. Anyway, he (as predicted) started crying over at the HIV clinic and they bailed him out. This cunt with her crying. Like a fucking baby. Now all his medical needs will be attended to! Naturally, the shit had to hit the fan💩🪭 before he did anything. Such is the life of a grim pill! ONWARD! (Fist held femmily aloft like Gloria Steinem)✊🏽

Baby reminds me of a period about 12-15 or so years ago. I was around a lot of people who used art, music, theatre, movies, books, sports, anime, video games and the like as a distraction from life rather than as something to add to it. The more I noticed how these people lived, the more depressed I became. Fear of becoming like them gave me the courage to change my life.

I'm new to this guy but it seems all he does is beg for money.

R363. His biggest “grift” was $13,500 he got to “save” his dying dog. The dog passed within a week….HOWEVER, his “Higher Power” told him to keep the money. People were and still are STUNNED by the sheer BALLS. No charity donation, no return of funds…GRIFT GRIFT GRIFT. He lies, but we are 99% sure his addiction had reared its bald liver-spotted head again.

I did wonder if the addiction was the driver that steered him away from Facebook and Instagram and not entirely his Moral Stance against tech bros

R365. Don’t know, but it seems he got a real “dressing down” by someone last week when he posted on Facebook, however, he never really responds, and sadly, I didn’t see it, & the person deleted it! If he WAS to respond (a real rarity), it was always a fruity “Bless your heart!”… playing into his southern “steel fagnolia” side… He knows what he is, but bends “the narritive” so he can skew what his readers actually believe. Dangling the carrot of “subscribe to my substack” isn’t as lucrative as he thought. Regurgitated Vanity Fair articles just don’t cut it. Seriously, does anyone CARE what Julia Roberts *really* thought about “Pretty Woman”?😂😂😂😂😂

Bav & Billy Porter in the same photo!

It's the Battle of the Blouses! Who wore it better and who smells least like a public toilet?

“steel fagnolia” - Marty me R366!!

R368, knowing our Bav's proclivities, the winner may be the one who smells [italic]most[/italic] like a public toilet.

R369. I would LOVE TO!! 😂😂😂

Now he made an “Angie Dickinson cake”, but I’m not spending a dime to READ anything this moron writes, but since he doesn’t understand how anything works…his VIDEO is here for you to watch. It’s an ANGIE DICKINSON CAKE because it has PEPPER in it! GET IT???

(OUCH.!!) I rolled my eyes too hard!🙄

He’s addled as fuck. He explains Pepper for you “old folks” er it’s young people who wouldn’t know Uncle Fester.

Thanks for posting r372

It would be easier for him to go back to Facebook or .Instagram but I’m sure one of his acolytes convinced him he was giving swat the goods for free!

[quote]It would be easier for him to go back to Facebook or .Instagram but I’m sure one of his acolytes convinced him he was giving swat [sic] the goods for free!

I think you meant "away" for free, r374? No, that's all on Bav. Virtually all of his followers begged him not to go, and OG Bav straight up said she wasn't following him - but he says "nay", for he's an "outlier".

Of course,he keeps making exceptions. Leaving FB is not working out the way he expected.e's not getting the attention that he needs. People aren't following him to substack, not even for free,

Watching the Angie Dickinson cake video is SIMPLY PATHETIC. He rambles on and on, doesn’t actually BAKE or mix ANYTHING. It’s a feeble dry beg, eluding to a “really hard week”, but going to the ballet at the end of it was the soothing balm he needed. I think. His voice was so quavery and thin, obviously trying to evoke some sympathy. He’s really a piece of frosted dog shit. Dry, crumbling, and white with age. Sorry queen, no one cares anymore. You best hightail it back to Fecesbook.💩

I will say the Bluesky or Bsky is as boring as it gets. I limped back to Twitter.

Bsky full of vulnerable neurodivergent people who freak out if they talk to someone who admits to still liking Harry Potter and will organise a mass block list before you can say Avada Kedavra.

Oh! Looks like Mary Shitsex got into it with some patrons at the ballet…I’ll try to recap it later, but I’m going out for a spell. Don’t worry folks, I didn’t forget you!! 🤪😬😵‍💫

I'll save you the trouble. At Aida, two women were talking during the performance. One began recording with her phone. Bav's seatmate chastised them, as did her seatmate, described as an "elderly Irish bloke". At the interval, Bav's date went to report the women, then this happened:

"The house management reprimanded them during the interval. When they returned to their seats there were heated words exchanged between the women and my seat mates. One of the women snottily claimed, “I can do anything I want.” I finally spoke up. “You can on the street,” I told her. “But not in the Royal Opera House.” That seemed finally to quiet them down and they behaved for the remainder of the evening."

Thank you R379. I always read his moronic posts with a jaundiced eye, knowing how he has a tendency to “embroider”… Remember…”You can’t make this stuff up…Well, you *COULD*, but I don’t!!”

SURE, JAN.

Have there been any recent installments of First Dibs/Last Rites? Last thing I remember is the melting black earwax, but I don’t really stay current on his shitstack.

No r381 alas those meth-like musings abruptly ceased, much like “Sessums Magazine” and many other grifts. The shitstack abides I think stealing images belonging to others and dry begging as ever.

Where is the poster that mimics Bav’s blatherings? He was HILARIOUS.

Who was it who cut him from the herd back in the 70s?

...........

R384 it was the fat wart nosed pig Henry Geldzahler! The Bav was cut from the herd and the turd was the word! Rim Rim Rim! (Allegedly). He was one of those fat slobs that dressed like a dandy as to distract from the massive wart on his nose, the rotted cigar breath, and body odour. The Bav ate it all up! LITERALLY!

Bavettes…for those still around we have a doozy of a shitstack

Dead parents Sissy sadness Whitewashed career resume I AM A WRITER Mourning missing out on Vanity Fair Oscar frolics Sessums “magazine” RIP (he didn’t pay web hosting fees of course)

Two VERY telling points “My reliance on recovery where I mostly live” - DLers called it, this sissy ain’t sober Visiting sesshie mag to “mine it for writing and interviews” for his Shistack

Onward

R387. THANK YOU!! It was TRULY a DILLY. All the work his industrious dyke sister did for SezsumsMagazine up in smoke because he had “an outdated credit card on file.” THERE WAS NOTHING TO “MINE”, LOL!!! The fact that he blithely whitewashes over his HUMILIATING dismissals (FIRINGS!) from Vanity Fair, “429” Magazine, and The Curran theater reminds us of what brand of asshole we are dealing with here. This weeks “recipe” was a classic salmon plop…but he couldn’t get it together to video THAT…although he could make that mess in his sleep. He then proceeds to ramble on about talking to the moon, and I firmly believe he’s getting high again…he took photographs of the moon that only a person messed up on drugs would take. It’s all classic Bav, with yes, the telling admission that R387 pointed out re: his sobriety. As with everything else, he’ll pretzel-ize that and “make it fit” his “narrative”. And he’s still glorifying his “pilgrims life”, as if he had a choice. As his viewership dwindles…I think he realizes Shitstack was a mistake. HA HA HA.

Is "My rubrics are up" code for something else? Like, "I'm having a herpes outbreak..."

I need meth RIGHT NOW

Honey, the quickest way to relapse is to be BORED!

In store-bought breakfast shakes, all seems to breathe freedom and peace and to make one forget the world and its sad turmoils.

thank you R387

With the Shitstack now mothballed, I’m about to turn into Kathy Bates in Misery unless I get a conclusion to (or at least further installments of) First Dibs / Last Rites. The doting public demand more black earwax content.

What?

R394. He must either be fresh out of meth, or totally strung out on it again…it’s like that “serial” never existed. He also may be distracted by “Pan” snaking huge smelly turds down the terlit in the adjoining loo they share. All as the “sexy senior” landlady vigorously masturbates upstairs. EW! How utterly LURID.

Can pilgrims even afford meth? They apparently have to grovel with the NHS for free tenofivir.

R396 I love it! Vividly drawn as always.

A paragraph in an amusing review of Graydon Carter’s new memoir in the NYT caught my eye, I wonder if a certain pilgrim springs to mind for others…

“He describes the job (Vanity Fair editor) as close to bliss, especially after he cleaned out a few notable malcontents and banned certain dread words from the magazine’s copy”

words like "limning" perhaps?

This week, The Bav compares being gay to being black, which is downright insulting to black people, and to make matters worse…you can see his thinly veiled racism rearing its ugly head…it’s a cunt hair away from “Some of my best friends are…”, awkwardly inserting Sidney Poitier into the mix. In classic Bav fashion, it’s way too wordy, confusing, and in the end, STUPID. He drones on about some girl who lives across the hall (where’s Pan?) and tells the same TIRED story about Diahann Carrol eating next to him in Hollywood. Eye-crossingly bad writing and another windbaggy retread of garbage he’s told a million times. I wonder if Geldzahler was just as stultifying when the Bav was rimming his stinky shithole? ALLEGEDLY🤣🤪

Remember Bav was boasting about his Black Friends in London inviting him for Christmas or Thanksgiving? That was so performative - the old poof from the South paying a call on the ethnics. I’m sure he even managed to get lost as ever and turned up hours late with a baggy of cake crumbs 😂

FUR ladled cake crumbs!

*laden

Pro-tip: when you habitually abandon your pets, you really minimize the amount of fur in your pahs and other baked “goods”.

This chunk of dogshit is from his latest shitstack: he also cries 3 times, is about to go to Porto, where he’s never been, blathers on about his clothes that the Masturbating Landlady kept in her garden shed(🤣) and he’s about to relinquish. Two “reviews” of stupid things, and yet another retread of some Elizabeth Taylor bullshit he did for VF. Oh, and he turns 69 on Friday.. (Wait for the weird sexual “69” joke next week!) Don’t bother reading the whole thing…I just gave you the Cliff notes. Heres his insipid cry for attention:

“The other night when I shut the door to my room to climb into bed, I even heard myself whine like a silly little boy, “I miss my loft. I miss my art. I miss my furniture. I miss my books.” But I didn’t say I missed my life.”

You sure as fuck didn’t miss your cats!

R 407. Yes. VERY telling that he didn’t include them in his screed of self pity. The whining was more about missing his creature comforts and not his comforting creatures…OMG IM SOUNDING LIKE HIM! Please someone strangle me in my sleep!!! 🤪🤣 !! He actually wondered if he was a foolish old man. Well, he is. Tomorrow is his birthday and I plan to celebrate by getting a slice of cake, rubbing it vigorously on a cats asshole, pounding it into smithereens in an off-brand sandwich bag, and shaking the crumbs into my open mouth.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAV!! 🐈‍⬛🐈💩🎂🍰🤢🤮

I’m CRYING into my carnation breakfast

With LAUGHTER 😂😂😂

So gallant is our Bav, on his pilferage!

He was feeling sorry for himself all day on his birthday, made a shitass lemon cake that he cocked up…wove his dead mother into the “narritave”, and took a STRANGER to the theater to see Cate Blanchette in THE SEAGULL. How utterly sad. I guess Masturbating Landlady had plans…maybe another dinner soirée upstairs while the Bav sat sulking in his room? It’s all so pathetic.

“ Last night a big handsome young German was cooking bacon in our communal kitchen, the heady aroma of it all making me feel all kinds of ways.”

Yeah…he fantasized about eating his shit.

We’ve had a doozy, fellow Bavologists! Firstly, we had a second passive aggressive swipe at masturbating landlady who “kindly” stored all his winter clothes but no longer has the space hmmmmmmm trouble brewing there. Our Bav selflessly gifted some moth-eaten cashmere sweaters to a Starbucks server, ensuring she posed for a photo to show her tearful gratitude. He’ll always have a shitter if she’s working there 💩💩💩.

Then we had dead parents and self pity followed by the BALLET, and a mysterious encounter with a Dame who asked he did not post her photo for privacy reasons. He breadcrumbed her identity anyway because he’s an utter cunt. Then he stalked Ralph Fiennes after the BALLET whispering he adored him 🤢.

There’s also a dry beg woven in about his homelessness- all wrapped up in pilgrimage bullshit of course. He eyes the homeless lying around Covent Garden and acknowledges his “connection” but of course he’s on a higher plain - a quest if you will. I wonder if masturbating landlady will be so keen to welcome him back for multiple months this year…

I also felt the masturbating landlady may be freezing him out

this one tugs at your heartstrings..... " It is my ritual to give someone else a gift on my birthday so i took a new friend - i.e. basically a stranger - to see Cate Blanchett in The Seagull."

Yes! He would definitely have taken masturbating landlady in times past. Perhaps our pilgrim has been hitting the pipe again…

I too believe that all is not well for the Bav in masturbating landlady-land. No mention of her “projects” this go-round, and no mention of Pan either. I’m betting he wore out his welcome, trying everyone’s patience, and busting boundaries like he did in Paris, and in Tangiers (when he had to beat a hasty retreat if we remember correctly). The removal of his things FROM A GARDEN SHED really was the “tell”. So giving his shit away was not REALLY by choice, now, was it? But he made it into an act of service🙄 (PS: If he uses the word “winnow” one more time…is winnow the new limn??). He doesn’t really get it, does he? He’s SO ODIOUS, I’m really glad the planet is FINALLY realizing this. Oh, he deigned to grace us peons over on fuckbook with a picture of himself protesting, holding a painting of DT wearing a pig mask, FIST HELD ALOFT LIKE GLORIA STEINEM…letting fellow gays know he’s looking to get fisted RIGHT NOW(!!), he hasn’t douched, and will wear a pig mask if necessary. Th..th..th..THAT’S ALL FOLKS! 🐷

And what of his beloved “protégé” young Ned and his batshit mother? I guess they realised the truth about the homeless old grifter.

[quote]is winnow the new limn?[/quote]

Have we found the title for our next thread?

R419 I do believe so!!

Oh Christ on the cross, the Bav’s recipe this week is an asparagus omelette. REALLY, QUEEN? With something he’s calling “salmon hash”, It’s the same 5 ingredients, in a “plug n play” format. Eggs, salmon, asparagus, blue cheese, and spinach. Oh, I forgot, prosciutto makes the occasional Hitchcockian cameo “crowned” or “atop” some disgusting plop. His breff must fucking reek, and his bowels….HEY, WAIT A MINUTE HERE….this is all part of his sick sexual scatcapades!! Perhaps dropping a fetid, paint-peeling deuce is his calling card?? I’m no Elsbeth, but I could be onto something!!!! I SHIT IN STARBUCKS, INDEED!!

The Bav’s fecesbook account “was hacked”. Or so she claims.

I urge you to *NOT* read this weeks shitstack, as it’s a retread, YET AGAIN, of cobbled together BULLSHIT, peppered with humblebrags about his former “loft” in Hudson, and how he was *JUST ABOUT* to accept Section 8 housing, but that “job” at GRAZIA magazine came and saved the day!…He lasted at that gig for almost a year, but was FIRED, YET AGAIN. So back to the end of the line for Section 8 he went. He weaves some weird tale of River Phoenix inspiring him to make a key lime pah, and the pic below is how he wraps it up to distribute it to fellow Hudsonites, “paying it forward”. So, if you were lucky enough to get a sliver of that pah, with cat asshole stamped all over it…I’m glad you’re still alive and reading this. He goes on to rail against Mark Zuckerberg and why he “left” Fuckbook, also sagely admitting he feels like a huge failure many, many, times. Which is wise, because he’s failed so many, many, times! He tries YET AGAIN to justify his “pilgrim’s life”…but it just gets more pathetic and sad each time he tries to “square it” for us readers. As I said, there is little substance this week, I guess to rope us into paying, which I flatly refuse to do. Oh, he let River Phoenix wear a fedora he had on during a shoot in Key West🥱🙄…. SO EAT THAT CATSHIT KEY LIME PAH !!! ONWARD!!

😂😂😂😂😂 Thank you for cheering me up r423

I cannot wait for the eventual Masturbating Landlady Meanderings

Downward!

The Bav’s computer screen shit the bed, and he’s TRYING not to freak out in Porto! DRY BEG ACTIVATED!! He breaks his “No Facebook”rule to “ask for advice”. SURE, JAN! We all know he’s waiting for a Frau to swoop in and pay for his repair/new computer/Apple care (which he claims he has) This should be interesting….the lines running up and down his screen pretty much means his screen is fried…. STAY TUNED! I love how he amends his admittedly stringent no fuckbook rule when he needs something. WHAT A CHUNK OF DOGSHIT.

I😂😂😂 cannot stop 😂😂😂 actually thought it must be about time for a MacBook dry beg - it has been a minute.

Some hag already suggested a gofundme. I wanted to throttle her

It’s incidents like this that makes living out of AirBnB’s on a shoestring budget scary, poor thing.

Poor thing? You have more compassion than I. Allegedly was offered affordable Section 8 housing in Hudson, a lovely place within easy reach of NYC. Not performatively aesthetic enough for our erstwhile pilgrim. What’s the real story behind the hasty Hudson adieu?

The OG Bav has chimed in to the MacBook saga! She tells him “pilgrims” deserve all they get as “being grounded on familiar land supports better than those who are drifters” 😂😂😂 I think she meant grifters

He lets it “slip” that it will be 700 euros to fix! please dear god may no one swoop in to help him. I STAND WITH OG BAV!! He made his bed, now LIE IN IT, MARY!

Why would you spend $800 US to repair a MacBook when you can get a new one for $1000?

Methinks our pilgrim may have purchased a lemon.

To endure the suspense while awaiting the laptop's return from the repair shop, enjoy a guided tour of his current digs... a cellphone video exclusively appearing on a substance near you.

R433. Applying “girl math”, the Bav “splurged”on an iPad. Thanking all those who re-upped their subscription to his shitstack.🙄. This queen never fails to horrify with his lack of self awareness. I’m sure some of his fraus slipped him some bucks on the sly…you know, those fools who can’t go one week without his “chewy” wordplay. 🤢🤮 He makes my flesh crawl.

Omg. This weeks “recipe” is yet another fucking pasta plop. He must really be strung out if he thinks these are actual recipes. I’m CONVINCED he wrote this one to let us know a young traveler once caught him “moaning with pleasure” as he ate his dinner. The thought of the Bav “moaning” makes me fucking wretch, but he mentions it TWICE. See? Sam Shepard was right. The Bav has such an odd compulsion to make everything sexual or rife with double entendre. How UTTERLY PATHETIC. A toothless Bav gumming his pasta plop and moaning in the communal kitchen of a hostel in Tunisia *may* be the reason everyone “made fun” of him and began fucking with him. We will never know, because we never get the FULL story, now do we??

Well, this weeks mess of a shitstack has the ol’ slopwagon of Bav fave topics to circle the block. Henry “cut me from the herd” Geldzahler, the wart nosed blob of shit, David Hockney, whose exhibit he went to see, and the Bav regaled us with dumb snippets of their brief acquaintance. You know he has a Hockney doodle on a business card he keeps as a “talisman” (CRINGE). The dead parents show up, and he has nothing new to say, except he has coined a new phrase for his situation: “Haughty Homelessness”! I kid you not. I guess this gives him “the agency” to act like the useless cunt he is. See what I did there? I used one of his insipid terms TO DESCRIBE WHAT HES DOING!! Are the Pulitzer Prizes being handed out yet? Can I PLEASE get a MacArthur Genius Grant? Didn’t they give one to that MORON Taylor Mac?? (The Bav’s not so secret crush!) I really don’t ask for much.!!

We hit the jackpot r436! We also got his “clever” click bait headline about him sleeping with a black guy (which shows what a messy methy Mississippi racist he is) of course it ended up being some air bnb cat so we got some tearful memories of his abandoned cats.

R437 Right? He absolutely has NOTHING to say, and we NEVER got the “concluding chapter” of the laptop saga. I’m betting that a frau or fraus sent him some money on the sly, and that was a “dry beg fulfilled”, so we, the great unwashed, don’t deserve to know what happened. Classic cunt maneuver…but I expect nothing less. We always get the “Disney version” these days…lots of Swiss cheesy holes in this “haughty homeless” queens “narrative”. Ugh. He makes my fucking flesh crawl. ps: you hit the nail on the head with that racist clickbait…I physically winced when I read it. Plus, he can cry all he wants over his fucking cats…they didn’t suit HIS needs anymore, so off they went! Like that “third dog” that was too rambunctious for his fragile candy ass.

I’d settle for the concluding chapter of “First Dibs / Last Rites”.

“The intoxicating smell of shit wafted into the room, causing the ears of all present to leak copious amounts of black wax. And then they died.”

“Just like my parents.”

Epilogue

He wept as he clutched the sacred garments of departed dogs and looked …onward…into an uncertain future. Cast adrift in a homeless herd ever seeking connection.