What was your mother's approach to parenthood?

Deeply controlling and emotionally needy because she married a gaslighting covert narcissist and relied on her kids for emotional connection and regulation. Wheee! The therapy word for this is "parentification" or "spousification."

I've been paying my therapist $300/hr to analyze my relationship with my mother, I'm certainly not going to start giving it away for free at this point!

She gave me to my grandmother who raised me.

We had an orderly, responsible household. But my parents really didn't know what we were doing. The three of us could have been dealing heroin. My dad did road trips and was gone a lot. My mom didn't work outside the home but was overwhelmed.

Luckily we were just good kids with morals.

My mom had an anarchist bent and liked when we sassed or came up with witty comebacks or acted independently. She was more like another sister.

I google her name once week to see if she's fucking dead yet. She continues to disappoint me. I plan on smearing shit all over her headstone.

That was a hard one to answer but the closest was dependent. She tried and was often good. But both she and my father were daily evening alcoholics. She in lalaland and my father verbally abusive after cocktails started. It was a daily roller coaster.

My mom did the best she could, and it was mostly good. Her anger could be pretty scary during my grade school years, although I still worshipped her. We were very close. My dad pampered her as he did my sister and me.

My parents really were quite liberal and were fortunate that my sister and I were not the type to really get into trouble.

My mom had undiagnosed bipolar 2 until she was in her sixties. Once she had a break and spent $400 at the Wisconsin State Fair, and she was finally correctly diagnosed. Finally on the right meds, she was even and mellow and we became extremely close friends for the last few decades of her life. My only regret was the time in which she lived, the stigmas surrounding mental illness, and the fact that so many professionals missed her diagnosis.

I miss you daily, Mom and Dad.

R5 her neglect made you a very caring and good person, because now, you know what not to be. Its true that the worst shit in our lives can make us or break us, i am glad it didnt break you.

Mum was great, she was a natural as some parents are. Dad.... not so much, although to give him credit he tried - in fact he tried too hard which I think was some of the problem

She up and croaked on me when I was in college.

Halfway between overprotective and obsessive a good part of the time (overprotective parenting is extremely common among parents of kids with nonverbal learning disorder and ADD - which wasn't diagnosed until adulthood). Other than that, perfectly balanced. I was planned, wanted and loved before I was even conceived. Most people don't have that luxury.

She loves me unconditionally and it's mutual.

R2 🤣. Your a Jewish guy from New York aren’t you.

Kitty Dyke, you are fortunate indeed. Given your nonverbal learning disorder, what is your livelihood?

Some interesting stories...

R12 - lol no I'm descended from German/ex Lutherans and now in Portland, but I've often thought that there was a NYC Jewish mother dynamic going on, with all the later therapy that implies