I’m saying “bro” constantly, so you know I’m not gay.
Let’s be straight guys
by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 10, 2024 8:32 PM |
I’m the towel slapping in the locker room.
by Anonymous | reply 1 | July 6, 2024 4:27 PM |
i'm the spitting
by Anonymous | reply 2 | July 6, 2024 4:37 PM |
i'm the ball scratch
by Anonymous | reply 3 | July 6, 2024 4:38 PM |
I’m the unwashed ass. No soap has been in that region in decades.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | July 6, 2024 4:43 PM |
Just like "I’m saying “dude” constantly, so you know I’m not gay."
The "bro" and "dude" trend mimicking straight men is ruining gay porn.
by Anonymous | reply 5 | July 6, 2024 4:48 PM |
R5 shut up, bro
by Anonymous | reply 6 | July 6, 2024 4:51 PM |
I’m Rogaine!
by Anonymous | reply 7 | July 6, 2024 5:03 PM |
Why do straight me always scratch their nuts?
by Anonymous | reply 8 | July 6, 2024 5:05 PM |
I’m the terrible tattoos.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | July 6, 2024 5:07 PM |
"No soap has been in that region in decades."
Because everybody knows messing around "down there" is g-a-y.
No homo!!!!
by Anonymous | reply 10 | July 6, 2024 5:11 PM |
I’m the wife-beaters
by Anonymous | reply 11 | July 6, 2024 5:11 PM |
I'm the opinions about baseball.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | July 6, 2024 5:13 PM |
I'm the complicated facial hair styling. I am the substitute for weight loss and good grooming.
by Anonymous | reply 13 | July 6, 2024 5:14 PM |
I'm the Trump voter cuz I don't want my bro friends to think I'm a wuss. I'll do anything to fall in line with what men around me want.
(Seriously - it IS the conservative male mindset and the biggest Trump voting block is white straight men.)
by Anonymous | reply 14 | July 6, 2024 5:17 PM |
I stink to high heaven because I was mommy's wittle pwince so perfect in every way no showers required.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | July 6, 2024 5:50 PM |
I use the word SWEET way too often.
by Anonymous | reply 16 | July 6, 2024 5:54 PM |
I can’t have a conversation that doesn’t involve football.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | July 6, 2024 5:56 PM |
I'm wrestling.
by Anonymous | reply 18 | July 6, 2024 6:00 PM |
I’m the lifted 4 X 4 truck with mud stains.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | July 6, 2024 6:02 PM |
Good call to cover that ugly face.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | July 6, 2024 7:19 PM |
Let’s be the way larger dating pool.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | July 6, 2024 7:21 PM |
I'm Joe Rogan, I am the secret lust that every straightie has for me
by Anonymous | reply 22 | July 6, 2024 7:22 PM |
I'm all the gays lusting after them.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | July 6, 2024 8:21 PM |
whenever someone compliments me and tells me I'm creative, or refers to my creativity, right away I shift it to the less flowery "Well, I'm an ideas guy."
by Anonymous | reply 24 | July 6, 2024 8:34 PM |
I’m the confusion about my wife’s sex drive. Before I put a ring on it, she was as nasty and uninhibited as an alley cat. Now that we are married and a kid came along, she hardly wants sex. Was it all a rouse?
Also the resentment for getting into this marriage bullshit. I tell my gay coworkers they have it made. All the sex they want. No expensive kids. Spouse loves sex or will allow a hall-pass. I dread going home after work.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | July 6, 2024 8:44 PM |
I’m the use of “bad boys” as a generic plural noun.
“Give me a couple of those bad boys straight off the grill. Thanks, bro.”
by Anonymous | reply 26 | July 6, 2024 9:02 PM |
I am the ever-present baseball cap. Forwards or backwards depending on how formal the situation is.
by Anonymous | reply 27 | July 6, 2024 9:02 PM |
I’m so laser focused on the chicks’ tits I can’t even recall the Super Bowl score from last year.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | July 6, 2024 9:06 PM |
If you only knew how tedious your posts are.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | July 6, 2024 9:06 PM |
I’m a wealthy white straight bro who listens to rap music
by Anonymous | reply 30 | July 6, 2024 9:09 PM |
I honestly don't know the difference between a washer and a dryer.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | July 6, 2024 9:13 PM |
28??? Try 48.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | July 6, 2024 9:27 PM |
I’m the premium handguns!
by Anonymous | reply 33 | July 6, 2024 9:27 PM |
You are completely right, R31. I forgot my sister would weekly drive over to my 40-something y/o nephew's house, pick up his dirty clothes, take them home and launder them, then drive the clean clothes back over to his house.
I think my sister stopped when COVID struck and said nephew was allowed to work from home. By then she figured he had plenty of time on his hands to wash his own damn clothes.
by Anonymous | reply 34 | July 6, 2024 9:34 PM |
I'm jealous.
by Anonymous | reply 35 | July 6, 2024 9:55 PM |
When a woman tells me she's a lesbian, I know that's just a challenge for me to prove to her that she's not. I'll flirt and call her sexy because all women like being told they are sexy. When she tells me I'm creeping her out, I know I'm getting through to her. All women want cock. Especially mine.
by Anonymous | reply 36 | July 6, 2024 10:00 PM |
They flirt with gay men too, honey.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | July 6, 2024 10:04 PM |
I am their crazy-eyed rallying cry: “Let’s GO!”
by Anonymous | reply 38 | July 6, 2024 11:23 PM |
I'm the awkward bromance
by Anonymous | reply 39 | July 6, 2024 11:24 PM |
I'm knocking on your dorm/frat room door at 2am when I didn't get any pussy at the bar.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | July 6, 2024 11:26 PM |
I’m “USA USA USA”
by Anonymous | reply 41 | July 6, 2024 11:26 PM |
When I say "Bro, I would totally suck you off." to the guys in the locker room, they know I'm just giving them some buddy praise.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | July 6, 2024 11:27 PM |
I’m the neck tattoo!
by Anonymous | reply 43 | July 6, 2024 11:43 PM |
I'm the first anal sex try with the girlfriend and the surprise of lots of shit on my dick. Never saw that at Pornhub.
This one works for gays as well.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | July 7, 2024 12:32 AM |
I never remember what how me and my brahs end the evening. I guess we all just pass out at the same time.
But boy am I sore in the morning. Must be something in the mojitos. Beers, I mean.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | July 7, 2024 12:39 AM |
I’m the straight gentleman caller. Yes, I’ve dabbed into that Lady Lindzebelle quite a few times.
by Anonymous | reply 46 | July 7, 2024 1:06 AM |
I’m the guy taking advantage of R37.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | July 7, 2024 1:29 AM |
We’re the slides. Worn with (questionably recently-laundered) short, white gym socks. In fine steak restaurants. And with herds of similar other straight guys, under alternating front- and backwards-worn baseball caps.
Oops, I forgot also the mandatory leg tats; and those twisty wrist and ankle bracelet things.
by Anonymous | reply 48 | July 7, 2024 2:25 AM |
I'm the Instagram models they follow and all the "you're so sexy" comments they leave on every post.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | July 7, 2024 2:27 AM |
I say bro a lot. But then again I’m a bisexual whore.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | July 7, 2024 2:30 AM |
The effortless masculinity.
by Anonymous | reply 51 | July 7, 2024 3:37 AM |
R51 - the 'effortless' was born from tons of conditioning and fear of being ostracized. Very few have it organically.
And straight women don't allow them to act differently either - despite them stating that they do.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | July 7, 2024 5:00 AM |
Excellent point.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | July 7, 2024 7:29 AM |
I put lighted fireworks on my head
by Anonymous | reply 54 | July 8, 2024 3:13 PM |
r8 Because other guys' nuts are usually covered up.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | July 8, 2024 3:28 PM |
r23, please read the thread title again. It's called "let's be straight guys", not "let's be gay guys".
by Anonymous | reply 56 | July 8, 2024 5:13 PM |
shut up cunt.
by Anonymous | reply 57 | July 8, 2024 5:47 PM |
I'm the Under Armour logo on every piece of clothing.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | July 8, 2024 6:16 PM |
I'm the overcompensating.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | July 8, 2024 8:05 PM |
I’m the yeast dick.
by Anonymous | reply 60 | July 8, 2024 8:44 PM |
I'm the one saying Judy who? Julie who? ... They are fucking hopelesswhen it comes to classic movie icons and movies. The gays keep so many artistic things alive.
by Anonymous | reply 61 | July 8, 2024 8:56 PM |
I'm the overwhelming scent of urine and B.O. that every straight man seems to have about them. I'm also the Axe Body spray used in excess in an attempt to cover up the fact that I haven't showered in days.
by Anonymous | reply 62 | July 8, 2024 8:58 PM |
I’m the taking Star Wars seriously.
by Anonymous | reply 63 | July 8, 2024 8:59 PM |
R62 I’m the femme kween who likes that stench because it reminds of being rap.. I mean, my Uncle…
by Anonymous | reply 64 | July 8, 2024 9:00 PM |
I'm the dingleberrys that cause skid marks on their tightie whities.
I'm the half hearted hugs between two bros. We don't press our bodies against each other so we slap each others back.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | July 8, 2024 9:43 PM |
I'm Christian-adjacent, so I say 'brother'.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | July 8, 2024 10:00 PM |
I’m the dingleberries “brother” says are god’s will
by Anonymous | reply 67 | July 9, 2024 8:55 PM |
I've got the world in the palm of my hand.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | July 9, 2024 9:08 PM |
I'm actually a transbian but I want to trap my wife with a few small children first.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | July 9, 2024 9:17 PM |
Ya wanna fuck me?
by Anonymous | reply 70 | July 9, 2024 9:24 PM |
I'm the tacticool wear and holstered gun. None of these douchebags with the jarhead haircuts have never even been in JrROTC
by Anonymous | reply 71 | July 9, 2024 9:25 PM |
I'm "Cubans."
"My bro at the smoke shop slipped me some Cubans. Dope as hell."
by Anonymous | reply 72 | July 9, 2024 11:17 PM |
Let's be paunchy at 30... and fat at 40. Let's continue drinking disgusting beer.
by Anonymous | reply 73 | July 9, 2024 11:21 PM |
I know how to fix things and spit.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | July 9, 2024 11:49 PM |
I’m the smell of feet, B.O., jizz and stinky laundry, I don’t need to wash anything, I just spray febreze on it. I’m also pissed off all the time because I never get laid. My personality isn’t great either, and I’m not that smart., I also really cannot understand that I have to make 10% improvements (as a start) in all these areas, or be so rich that anyone will put up with my shit.
Why won’t bitches fuck me? I’m a fucking catch!
by Anonymous | reply 75 | July 10, 2024 1:58 AM |
I'm constantly cruising for pussy, even though I have a wife and two female fuckbuddies. I wouldn't turn down any sexual overture.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | July 10, 2024 2:11 AM |
"I've got the world in the palm of my hand."
You've got your dick in the palm of your hand.
by Anonymous | reply 77 | July 10, 2024 7:40 PM |
I'm dying on a "buddy's" lawn after a long night of partying.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | July 10, 2024 8:08 PM |
I'm the refusal to kiss another guy (I have no problem fucking him or sucking his dick), because that would mean i'm (whispers) G-A-Y.
by Anonymous | reply 79 | July 10, 2024 8:32 PM |