DL phrases that always make you laugh

Pint-sized harlot

mincing prisspot

Fat Whores Rejoice

“Gayer than an Ungaro frock in the spring”.

An oldie but goody.

I like "mincing queen," a lot, but FAT WHORE is probably my favorite.

Shopbottom / Salesbottom

Gayer than a tree full of parrots!

“Go find yourself a SPIN CYCLE!”

Go dilate!

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

She's had sufficient.

Shopbottom puts a very specific picture in my mind and always brings a smile. Also, “Fat Whores Rejoice!”

lip-gloss prada-wearing Dallas queen

Joan Crawford Wannabe

Fewer and fewer as time goes on.

29 years of being worse than last year.

Matt Damon.

And DIAGF.

None of the above.

Sum Ting Wong!

He had a nice ass but he couldn’t live forever

People say I look 30 years younger than my age

You type fat

Murderous Fatty on the Lam

Turn down the gay!

I've been the recipient of the fat jokes on here and I'm not fat. Since we can't see each other I find this one of the weirder things on DL. It makes me very frustrated to be told I'm something I'm not but then I guess that's the point.

What are straight me so stupid?

I like blue

R3 fat whores rejoice is very tired, overused and abused on the DL. It’s nice you find it amusing at this point.

R17 the Matt Damon shit was never funny.

Minge

You're a whore darlin.

Apparently r24 has r11.

R18 is one of the political trolls here.

Senatrice

girlina, still makes me giggle.

Dat’s da suckjob!

I did not like Heath Ledger in his role as “Joker.”

She/he sho is ugly! - Shug Avery

"Mighty Joe Biden"

Crying as I type this

Only two posts on this sock-puppet account. Typical.

DL phrases that always make you laugh "Mighty Joe Biden"

The Housing Crisis will be the death of the Western World I recently used Zillow to look at every house for sale in Tempe, Arizona. Thanks to flipping, every single house is now identical inside. Wood or tile floors, gray walls, exactly identical. I used to enjoy looking at all the character in the old houses, but that doesn't exist anymore. Plus, townhouses and condos are now $300K and up and regular average houses are $500K, $600K and $700K now. How anyone can afford this, I can't understand. I'd have to buy with three other partners just to get a regular house on my salary.

"You're too short for that gesture"...I haven't been in a situation where I could use that phrase!!

"Your Pussy Stinks" My child#1 Greg invited a girl to stay with us over the Thanksgiving holiday, Heather (sweet girl but she stunk like fish). she didn't last 5 hours in my house.

^^^Greg was a freshmen at University of Penn at the time^^^

Was she a great big fat person?

You in danger, girl!

Prostitution whore

I’ve had sufficient

Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, Darfur Orphan and some of the other trolls. All except Matt Damon because there’s like zero cleverness to them. It’s always just a slur mock-signed as Matt Damon. Not clever at all.

And as much as they annoy me the weird outbursts from whatever Teacake is called lately have made me a fan of the ironic use of “mafuckin” or “mafucken”. It’s such a dumb and useless word it deserves to be spotlit.

"Mafucken" is a Whoopi Goldberg thing from her Broadway show she did before The Color Purple. It's not a Teacake property. Clip linked for receipts.

[quote] It’s such a dumb and useless word it deserves to be spotlit.

Brick Pollitt spotlit.

Any reference to a brokened cheeseburger.

I’m dialing the phone with a pencil.

My use of the term "toots" is largely because of this place.

"Buck never would have BEEN in the hospital."

"Clutching my pearls"

He had a hot ass but he couldn't live forever

Sows at the trough

Mary!

The correct version, unsullied by reference to a disgusting troll and a familiar tone, is

My pussy stinks.

But some offenses here are worse.

One hand clapping

Fuck you! Fuck yoooouuuu!

Anal hopscotch

* kisses doll *

I just want to know if we’re gonna try to fuck each other

I may not know my flowers, but I know a BITCH when I see one.

Coin slot and balloon knot.

Fucker Face I Love You Fucker Face I Need You

Double Anal In A Double Bed

They’re all gonna fuck on you!

King Kong will stop the rain.

[quote] * kisses doll *

Surprise anal.

R59 that’s fucking hilarious

RACI$T LE$BIAN TROLL ALERT!

People who need people

R35 - I post on here all the time and have for years. Your investigative skills aren't up to par. "He said something I don't like - waah! He must be investigated!"

Puny cocklet

Verificatia of sizemeat

Momma's mussy

Paywall! Paywall Alert!

Beef curtains

Stanksleeve

Filth trench

Surprise anal. Die in a grease fire.

Cane face. Shit bra.

Trumplethinskin

Shitbra.

Oh dear

MARY!

[quote]"Mafucken" is a Whoopi Goldberg thing from her Broadway show she did before The Color Purple.

No, it's not. Fontaine says "muthafuckin'". Saw the show, had the recording. Trust.

Amateur.

[quote]Coin slot and balloon knot.

Rosebud or coin slot?

R32, that is one of my favourites.

If I remember correctly it came about years ago in thread about hookups going horribly wrong. The person in question had gone over for a blowjob and realized his hook up had a touch of the Downs or something but let him keep going. At the end when all was said and down, the hookup with Downs looked up and said, "Dats da suckjob!"

[quote] Mary!

[quote] MARY!

“Maria” makes me…laugh!

Diane for Diana Ross

Corpse for Dionne Warwick

Built like a shit brickhouse!

Or is it a brick shithouse?

Either way, I don't know what it means.

Corn back rattler.

I never touched the bitch!

Shit brickhouse, R84.

R4, it's "gayer than an Ungaro spring frock" -- ie, a frock from the Ungaro spring collection.

Is that when the man goes up into the man?

Present hole!

[quote][R4], it's "gayer than an Ungaro spring frock" -- ie, a frock from the Ungaro spring collection.

It's "Spring" R88. Otherwise, you're talking about those curly metal things.

My uncle Joe

I was molested.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

Abe Vigoda

Jackie on Assistance

Corn? When did I eat CORN?

Fat whores rejoice!

Dollface thread!

Broadway doesn’t go for booze and dope!

Maulface Thread

Anything with Sonia Sotomayor referring to her court as HOT! and SPICY!

When Scalia died, Sonia invited the other women on the Supreme Court: "Girls! Come over tonight! I'm making TACOS and MARGARITAS!"

Calling Madison Cawthorn "Sitler"

Or "Hell on Wheels."

Not a phrase, per se but when anyone hisses, I giggle almost uncontrollably.

Jimmmmmmaaaayyyyyyy!

For you, r107.

[quote]Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

That’s regurgitated from reddit.

It goes along with “I see what you did there.”

Gargoyle, Huckabeast, Melanoma, Ghouliani, Senatrice Lindseybelle, Large Marge, and (of course), Shitler.

‘Sad Last Days’ especially when it’s prematurely or wishfully applied.

MOMMA's MUSSY!

This will end in tears

The cuntiest cunt who ever cunted

Cockgobbler

I still love "Cockgobbler"

R115 because you IS one

R21, you type fat...

Gurls, GURLS! You're both ________ (from GG, in response to two kweens bickering)

_______, Rose. (also GG)

I condole you.

I never in all my life.

Bless your heart.

And most of all, obscure acronyms.

[quote] Gurls, GURLS! You're both ________ (from GG, in response to two kweens bickering

The Facts of Life.

Years ago, someone said some celebrity's apartment was "covered in a nacrous layer of permacum."

Made me spit out my ginger ale, and I still use it quite often.

Nacreous!

Anything about Helenesque.

Still by Christopher Reeve

Be Best! Like me seating on driver of plane.

Please help me. I’m a divorced woman.

Lizsha with a sha.

Questionable Anal Hygiene.

The Nancy Lee Grahn obnoxious corrections always make me smile.

I miss when we’d dish about P. Allen Bottom.

I like some of the stern maternal snark from Mrs. Agnes Carpenter, formerly of Downey, CA.

The thread makes Becca sad.

Very very sad.

He’s fine! He sends his love!

That Thelma Ritter quote. Oh, and MARY!

R105, is that Hell on Wheels?

Or Heil on Wheels?

Cheryl's cane face and epically stinky pussy, The Shitbra, copious amounts, and fat typing. Lens D.

and a salute to Judy 'Pills' Garland

Since '97 here.

OMG I forgot all about Becka. good segue into...

When Will The Tears Stop?!

Florida's "Damn! Damn! Damn!"

", but Gary talked her out of it."

-Viv

I have a headache. CAN I HAVE YOUR STUFF?

R120, wasn't the expression originally used to refer to the basement of Skull and Bones? Or perhaps that's just where I first saw it used.

Anne Hehe

Not a phrase, but the former poster called "Pollyanna Prisspot, Schoolmarm" always made me chuckle, just because of the image that name conjures up. 😂

“OH FANK YOU!”

Becca hasn't been a fixture here in many years, and yet not a week goes by that I don't say that to myself about something or another. "That makes Becca sad... very very sad."

Whoever started that and turned it into a thing... you had a lasting impact on me.

Not saying it's a GOOD thing, mind you. But it still cracks me up sometimes.

R120, r140: “nacreous layer of permacum” was first used to describe the sauna at the NY Sports Club on Eighth Ave and 23rd St in Chelsea.

[quote]Anne Hehe

That's Anne He he to you.

Pancakes Barbara!

Jungle Red!

Jackie On Assistance

Uh- Huh

Dammit, Julie!

"Dollar Store pound cake"

Why you eating so many pies fattie?

I prefer Brave Last Days.

I don't like phrases that turn my stomach, tbh. Those are not my favorites.

But ya ARE, Blanche!

You don’t bother with nobody!

A kick in the cunt bone

micropeen

For reasons well known

And while not necessarily a DL phrase in origin... Hunty

More from way back:

I Scream With Angry Power!

'Pank me mommy, 'pank me harder

OK Gays!

CarbFace

Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls

My future ex-husband.

I’d lick his shitter.

____ is an insatiable bottom.

A lot of the MichFest stuff ...

"stated her boundaries"

"I am telling you NOW so I don't have to tell you THEN."

"Brother Sun Concentration Camp"

Nutloaf

moon cups

Mafuck

Night Clit

Sows At The Trough - and it's related phrases

Heifertiti especially.

Figment

Smelling cookies.

Presenting hole

Barbara please!

MARY!

Good Colored help and not from one of those voodoo islands islands!!

I eat old people’s excrement.

What's the origin of the '50s-style race joke?

"Our dear Paul"

R163, more from MichFest,

Women Of Color Breast Casting

As a fat womon, would I be useful on garbage detail?

"I am stating my boundaries. I have just stated them again."

Gas, Grass or Ass! (the predatory ride-offerer Denise, hunting for babydykes needing a lift)

^I don't remember any of those DL phrases.

You had to be there, R177, and it was glorious, like the moonbeams shining down on my glistening furry yoni.

Once around the garden.

Wasn't there something about Michfest cheese balls?

I know it's probably overused here, but the posts by Darfur Orphan always crack me up. But I like dark humor.

Selections from the African Baby Catalogue

R163 also “Man on the Land!”

Has anyone mentioned “Caneface?” I’m too lazy to check.

Bread pudding

My coioters itchin y’all!

While most people would say the greatest headline of all time was "Headless Body in Topless Bar" or "Stix Nix Hick Pix," I insist it is actually the DL thread title "Dog Fucks Baby in the Ass!"

Chalupa

Pigeon-headed whore.

Apropos of nothing, I miss WUNDY Girl! That batshit tranny who would walk Santa Monica Blvd in her campiest Goodwill store finery and tell us all about it in a half-illiterate giddy rush.

Wundy was all love and don't we need a little more of that today?

[quote] Wundy was all love

Wund is love.

R187, I'm partial to "Why are Straight Me So Stupid?"

The best typo from one of the long-gone (or maybe occasionally lurking?) "celebrity" thread and gossip creators from the good old days. Man, he was run out of town in a series of particularly vicious "pointless bitchery" threads.

A relatively new one:

[quote]This Charlie Brown headed bitch.

Surprise anal always gets me.

[quote] Surprise anal always gets me.

I’m certain it does.

Posts hyping Janet Jackson, Beyoncé or GaGa that seem written by their publicists.

"Sir, this is a Wendy's" always makes me laugh.

That's not from DL.

[quote]Surprise anal always gets me.

It wouldn't if you pre-lubed.

The hilarious thing is that I actually worked at Wendy's during college, and one time an obviously very high dude wandered in late-ish, and tried to order the "Turkey dinner". I said we don't have that. He looked taken aback, peered at the menu board that he obviously couldn't read, and then ordered the "Spaghetti Dinner".

And I literally said "Sir, This is Wendy's"

He stared at me blankly for rather too long, then turned around and walked out.

The year was 1986.

R199, you were a trail blazer.

Girls, Girls, you're both cunts!

Senatrice Lindzebelle

R195 Yes, I love those phrases...

[quote] That's not from DL.

I doubt most of the quips listed so far actually originated on DL. I thought the point was commonly used phrases on DL. But thank you anyway for the pedantic etymology lesson even though I was already aware.

What R203 said. 100% agree.

Pedantic etymology statement. My new favorite. Thank you R203

LITERAL VIOLENCE!!

Arrogant pisspot

WHEN WILL THE TEARS STOP??

I find it sad that the lesbian and gay community does not embrace Jezebels of small size.

Very sad.

Can't call out pedantic behaviour without being pedants yourselves, prisspots.

Ratty Korean wig

I was molested

The Cher typo "Che".

WHET

I saw this only once but never forgot it. Had me in tears laughing. “He’s gayer than the pink parasol on the birdcage on Merv Griffin’s lanai”

Smelling cookies

Friendsycles

“WHEN WE”

Little homosexual boys

Oh no not another Trump thread

I'm always surprised at how different my sense of humor can be from some posters, who say they were in hysterics over lines I don't even think are funny. Does anyone else experience this?

r219 Some things that may have been funny the first fifty times no longer evoke the same quality or quantity of laughter the 50,000th time I read them. Some of the more egregious examples: Lisha, Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, copious pot silly, earrings...caftans, fixded cheesburgers.

In a thread about Eric Adams and his inability to resist sin -

“The hole doth twitch”

You mean, when the man go up into the man??

Aieeeeeeeeeeeee!

My pussy stinks!

Bootie (or Bootsie) Gumdrops:

Fuck