What is the point of my life?

I just turned 60, OP. I understand. I think the big thing about aging is the reflection and the awareness of time, so where you are is natural, depression or not.

I think the key is purpose. (Which is not mission... you don't have to save the world. It could be your purpose is just to have fun.) Set some goals for yourself, which don't have to be conventional, like I'm gonna run a marathon or some bullshit. ) Here's one of my goals: own the morning. Which means, be productive, whatever that requires that day (movement, in every sense, is really buoying.) Here's something I ask myself when it's hard to get going: If someone asks you what you did yesterday, do you really want the answer to be nothing? And finally, buy a book called The Daily Stoic. Read it. It can help you adjust your thinking. Good luck.

I'm in the same boat OP - almost with everything except I'm 54 and still in good shape.

I was ruminating about it this morning and while I know that the political atmosphere has been a drain on me, it's hard to see our way out of it as you think SOMETHING's got to change - but the Republicans are only making it worse.

The constant provable LIES that no one is called out on and become practical truths for some people is insane. How do you fight against a tirade of lies and misinformation? Then it's all conspiracy theories when the lies are called out to be false.

I'd like to imagine when I could have faith in our economy, our politics, and actually the good nature of man - but I can't.

I've realized that half the people in this world are truly awful, self-centered and mean - and they LOVE it. It's really fucking hard to be optimistic in these times - and I feel like it's all part of a plan.

Chaos, disorder, lies, disinformation so that some right-wingers can claim to have all the solutions and take everything away from us. It's happening and not enough people are giving a shit about it or stopping it.

Ask yourself: is this feeling doing me any good?

The Stoics would tell you, R2 (and OP) to learn to identify the things you can control and the things that are out of your control. The one thing you are always in control of is your reaction to all things.

Just smoke copious amounts of pot, silly!

Honestly, there's no point. However, that's a relief. IMO, there doesn't have to be a point or a purpose.

I rarely tell people to get a dog or cat, but if you feel an utter lack of affection, get a dog or cat. You sound like you would take good care of one.

You probably need to shake up your routine in some way, even if it's kind of arbitrary. Look into picking up a new hobby, or exploring films from a country or genre you're unfamiliar with, look for local social events and make new acquaintances, etc. Your nutrition habits can profoundly affect your mood too. So can your behaviors right after you wake up, sunlight exposure, etc.

OP if you have any free time, think about if you have any interests that you could pursue or support through volunteerism. It can get you up and out, you can often do as little or as much as you want and meet some decent folk. If no interests apply, hospitals often accept volunteers. Then when people ask what you’ve been up to you can feel some pride in your answer as it will likely make them feel like shitty “takers”.

Or if you don’t work for free and worry about that cash as you say, seek an online or very part-time job.

Any time spent on these things gets you out of your head.

I'm sort of in your same boat, OP, though I admit I haven't nearly as much reason to be glum. I have a great marriage, plenty of money, and I live in a beautiful spot. Still, I am 67, with persistent health issues (back and foot problems) that threaten my future mobility, plus Crohn's disease. I, too, fear dementia, as my brilliant mom suffered with it in her final years. However, what kills any potential buzz on a daily basis is the accumulation of loss. My parents are both gone, something that grieves me on a daily basis. My extended family, once large, has dwindled to a handful of seldom-seen cousins Many friends have died, too. I'm semi-estranged from a sister, whom I once considered the person closest to me. All this and the Republican's relentless assault on democracy and decency makes me despair, even though I am far luckier than most. I do agree with a previous poster, though. If you can, get yourself a dog or cat (rescues, of course!). Animals give your days structure, a reason to get out of bed and move. You will be all-important to your pet and he/she will adore you. Animals have seen me through my toughest days and my two dogs continue to bring this gloomy Gus joy. Good luck, OP.

Read Victor Frankl

R3 - but these aren't imaginary bad-end scenarios, there are real world implications of the current political scene. It's not like I'm playing a tape of worst-case scenarios because of a date, relationship, etc.

And spare me the 'detachment' way of Buddhism and meditation. I WANT to be attached - I don't want to be detached and void of feeling/interacting with the world and people around me. Yes - I studied Buddhism for many years.

It is the same as everyone else's. To learn to make yourself better. Write down the things that you think you have learned during your lifetime. Then think about those things that you would like to change or make better. We are here to improve ourselves and to help others. That's it!

We are not here to see how much money we can make or how much power we can obtain. If that was the reason we would be able to take it with us when we die, but we can't.

You don't get to go until you achieve what you came here to do so stop wasting time just thinking about it and work on doing it.

There isn't a point. Not really. And that's kind of a beautiful thing. We are made of star stuff and we are, as Carl Sagan said, "A way for the universe to know itself." We are here to EXPERIENCE this life. Good and bad, beautiful and ugly and all of that in between. When you think of how small we truly are in the universe, it can change your perspective. We're like bacteria growing on a planet and we've evolved to explore and understand and question.

We live. We die. And how we live determines any "meaning" we assign to it. It's ok to not have a purpose. I think that's a lie we tell ourselves to motivate us to create. We should try to create if we can...art, writing, music, etc. That's what the universe does...it creates. I would suggest maybe looking into taking a class in something you are interested in and go from there. We grow old mentally when we stop learning and playing. Make sure you have time to play however that looks to you. I enjoy playing sports, video games, board games with friends. All of those things make my life seem full.

Yes, there are some awful things going on but when you look at how utterly meaningless it all is, it doesn't do to dwell on them.

JFC, OP, go on, change, or up your meds. Life is too short to be pondering this bullshit.

Besides, you're going to need all your energy to plan your expat trip to the country you're going to move to in case the orange asshole gets re-elected.

OP We’re all just passing through.

Somehow we became self-aware animals, and ever since we’ve been looking for meaning. But our lives have just as much/little meaning as that of an Australian Emu.

Coming to terms with that is the greatest challenge of our life. Some never succeed, some figure that out before they go to high school.

Either way: Your purpose is to spend as much time doing things that you enjoy.

To think there is a “purpose” or “point” to a life is to believe an overall pattern or order was consciously set in place before you existed.

Many people make keeping their children safe and provided for their “purpose” - which I always thought was rather sad. (Like… back to the washer and drier with you! Folding those school uniforms into stacks is why you’re HERE!!)

The point of life is it to create AI robots so that they can replace us like the muslims.

Talk therapy, journaling, self-reflection, contemplating one's own existence for many people can actually be quite harmful and self-destructive. There are some who immediately jump to the negative, what went wrong, the bad times, etc.

The internet has made it much easier to see how other's live and make comparisons with our own lot in life. This is also fundamentally harmful and very deceptive. Our damaging consumer culture furthermore generates only more want and ultimately dissatisfaction with our lives.

The trick to life is not minding. Letting things go, to be able to move on and to live life day by day. And to have dreams and goals but which are reasonable and won't lead to personal devestation if left unfullfilled. Ultimately life does not have much of a point, which is especially true of gay men like us because almost none of us will have children to raise and who will continue on our bloodlinesfor generations.

[quote]R16 The point of life is it to create AI robots so that they can replace us

The point of life may soon be to successfully HIDE from the AI robots!

Hey, all.

Since I accidentally double posted this thread, I’ve been responding to a bunch of the posts in the other thread. But I’ve read everything here and I’m happy to have elicited so many responses.

I won’t repeat here what I’ve already written there. But I will respond to two points made here.

(1) The importance of enjoyment

I’m pretty sure this has been a guiding principle of mine. Well, at least after I got over all of the awful messages drummed into my head in my childhood by my father (mostly) - a man who made it clear I wasn’t worthy and that everyone else’s children were better, smarter, more deserving than I was.

I’ve done a pretty good job of unlearning most of that. And pursuing pleasure as much as I can. But there’s a difference - a big difference - forgiving and forgetting. I’m not sure it’s possible (or even desirable??) to erase from our memories what we endured when young.

(2) R17 makes the case for letting go of things. For my therapist, it’s practically his mantra. When he first mentioned this, I felt it was easy to understand. But putting it into practice is another story. It’s something like learning an instrument or working out, requiring regular practice. But I am on that road.

Again, thanks to all for sharing. It’s helped.

The love of my life died 4 years ago. I will turn 70 next week.

The purpose of my life? Our cat. Wolfie asked me to take care of her, love her and outlive her. The first two are easy. I will try my best to do the last.

Beyond that? I do not give a single fuck.

R19 Trite as this sounds: Everything comes and goes, everything passes. That includes us as beings, but also our thoughts, anguish and anxieties.

People have been pondering the existential and philosophical question on why are we here since humans could thing critically. I don't we can satisfactorily resolve that on a DL thread.

Oh, Sweetie. As an Eldergay approaching 70, I have learned to let most things go. Nothing in this human world matters. I have also questioned what are my innate talents. Not all the smoke and mirrors I created during my life, but what do I have to deliver positively to the world. These include my talents as writing, painting and cooking, etc. But, the most important things comes from meditation. What does my eternal spirit want me to experience in this incarnation? If I listen devoutly, I can hear and understand my center of being. Most of all it is staying out of the human nonsense and living in natural earth. I hope you find your center of being.

No one knows the purpose of life. People can speculate, and religions or some philosophers can claim they know, but it's essentially unknowable. That doesn't mean you don't have choices. You can choose to make yourself and your own happiness the purpose of your life. (Hedonism). You can choose to make the welfare of others your purpose in life (Altruism). You can focus on righting injustices. You can focus on creative activity as a way of trying to make an impact on the world. Or maybe a mix of all of the above.

Many of us here are like me - gay, childless, no longer young, nearing retirement age. Some would argue that the purpose of existence is to continue the existence of our species into the future (procreation), and that all others (the childless) are wasting resources that would be better served by devoting them to the procreators. But I would argue that a miserable existence is really no better than no existence.

Biologists have speculated that homosexuality has been preserved in many species in some sort of genetic way because the childless can actually assist in the preservation of the species in ways that procreators might not be able to. I'm a teacher and a performer. I'm going to go with that theory. As long as I have those skills ,an assortment of intelligent and funny friends, and adequate health to get around, I'm happy to go on. There'll be a bridge to cross if all of those things end.

To be ready to go when you go. I almost died a couple of times. Both times it came into my mind that it wasn't death I was afraid of it was having not lived my life yet. The idea that there was more for me to do here and I wasn't ready to go was the overwhelming dilemma of the moment. Would you feel ready to go if you were to.

I’m turning 65 in two months. I’m already retired. I read books, started a book club & spend time with my dogs. I go to the library & listen to podcasts. I watch videos of interest on YouTube. Cooking & tying new recipes. I have lots of streaming services including a documentary add on. I have a gym membership & swim there and in my pool. Working on my health so I can go for long walks and hike. I love being outside even if it’s at the local park with a chair and an ice tea. I nap when I want. Stay up as late as I want. Spend some time with my friends. I participate in activities at the senior center.

Politics is distressing to me at this time. So, I put my head in the sand.

I have bipolar disorder & PTSD. Much of my life has been a struggle so this time is the icing on the cake.

Anal.

This is theater and we always need people to play the trees and bushes to provide contrast to the vibrant main cast.

If you are an unfortunate-looking person, you make everyone’s life better by offering contrast. As long as you don’t make noise or emit odor, you are gold!

[quote]r24 No one knows the purpose of life.

[bold]OR IF THERE[italic] IS [/italic]ONE

R27 I am very happy for you and wish you many wonderful "golden years" !!

[quote] I have bipolar disorder & PTSD. Much of my life has been a struggle so this time is the icing on the cake.

R27 It sounds like you have carved a wonderful retirement out of your life. Your story sounds much like mine and I am turning 70 this year. Recently, I have come to realize that we are entitled to enjoy our senior years. Much of my life has lead to so much service to others that, many times, I forgot to take care of myself. I find myself relieved and blessed that I can enjoy this time in relative comfort. I have all that I need and much of what I want in life. Now, I feel a better person by tending to my needs first and, thereby, I find I have more to give to others. Godspeed my friend!

I hear you. When I turned 70, about 14 months ago, I went into a depression about dying. Not exactly out of fear, but at this point I don't want to die. I’d like to live forever. Life is too interesting, IMO. I'm far from ready to say good-bye to the beauty, rigmarole, craziness, ugliness, and art in this world. I find that crying helps. At least it dumps the depressed feelings for a while. A Sondheim song. A poetic bossa nova rumination on life, like “Waters of March.” Great art awes me and leaves me in tears, which has been true all my life. That cleansing immersion in awe and sadness is a little harder since I stopped drinking 18 months ago, which was a move to “check my pulse” emotionally and cognitively, to make sure I wasn’t shrouding myself in alcohol and hangovers. I’ve had many, many friends in life, and increasingly more are dying. I’ve been successful creatively, if not financially, and continue to find solace in creating things (I don’t have kids or pets). I don’t believe in a gawd, and I’m fine with that. I’m not a moaner and groaner. I don’t have a lawn to shout people off from. Thankfully, I like being alone. I survived the love of my life dying from AIDS, despite our good fight to keep him alive, and I miss him every day. Several close friends have died youngish from AIDS, cancer, etc. And I miss them every day. My health is “surprisingly” good, says my longtime doc. I work full-time+, because I must financially, and I can't imagine not working. Here’s hoping you and I have plenty of time left to witness this madness. Does DL have a smiley face?

Cray Cray above, you need therapy and not from DL stupid cunt

Living is its own justification. I’m amazed how few people appreciate this.

Why does there have to be a point? Live in the moment, stupid.

I had serious knee pain up until I started using this. It's great. It doesn't work right away, but use it every day for 4 or 5 days and it will kick in. Costco has it.

Any story you do to give your l ife coherence is as fake as a ghost-written politician autobriography. Give it up Mary!

[quote]My health is “surprisingly” good, says my longtime doc. I work full-time+, because I must financially, and I can't imagine not working.

I think you buried the lede, friend--good health, still working. I retired during Covid and it's only in the past year that I realized how work kept me feeling I had a reason to be here. If my health doesn't hold out I'm signing up for euthanasia.

One thing that lifts my existential despair is when I look up at the night sky and ponder the vastness of space, the billions of stars, it makes me feel really, really important.

OP, you might find this enlightening....

Loved it, R40.

(…and happy to be a fluke)

Popeye's!

R37, is that stuff the same as Diclofenac? I started using Diclofenac a couple of years ago but I don’t find it helps much.

My new PT has me using BioFreeze. (It feels good when HE puts it on me. But when I put it on myself…)

A word from Barbie:

To post on Datalounge, OP.

R37 here, yes, Voltaren contains diclofenac. Sorry it didn't work for you. I swear by the stuff. You just have to build up a level of it, and then apply it a couple of times a week. I think it's way better than Lidocaine patches.

Volunteer at an animal shelter. I retired early and I am doing this amongst a few other volunteer activities. It provides some structure and an overall feeling of giving back.