Are the words 'Thank You' out of style?

I would just stop sending cards and stop spending money on people who don't acknowledge or say thank you. Saves you money and frustration.

What R1 said. They’re not your friends.

[quote]Has Miss Manners gone out of style?

Not at all. She's R1.

Seriously, Miss Manners says the same thing. No more gifts for you, dears.

Unfortunately, kids do not feel the need to send thank you notes for such things. I'm talking about kids graduating from high school. I've probably given three kids cash for their graduation the past two years and I never received thank you notes from any of them. They're not learning such simple things anymore. It's sad actually.

I just held the door for a neighbor who breezed right past me without even looking in my direction. This happens quite frequently. Maybe it's me or maybe saying Thank You is just so out of style.

I've sent gifts to my 2 nieces, my only sisters kids, now 11 and 14...and I never ge a text to say thanks. It's odd cos our mom drilled it into us to say thank you...even when we felt a bit shy or awkward and asked her to pass on our thanks, she made us phone that person ourselves..which i hated but knew I had to do it. I'm gonna have to say it to my sister about the kids. Should I? I mean, they'll be getting all my stuff when I go. They are beautiful kids...a bit shy...but still...its my sister I'm surprised at..as she's lovely...but How does she not tell them to message a simple thank you?

I don't send cards, but I always call or (if all else fails) send a text.

You would think these people who receive gifts would at the very least send a text! Don't they love doing that?

No soup for you!

Not only is there a shocking lack of thanking, but when you do thank someone the response is no longer 'you're welcome' but rather 'no problem' 'don't thank me', 'bah it's nothing' 'phissh I don't want it,' or some other version of 'don't be silly I would never make any effort for you'.

[quote] I'm gonna have to say it to my sister about the kids. Should I? I mean, they'll be getting all my stuff when I go.

Yeah, you should. And no one says that all your stuff has to go to your nieces and nephews when you die. They're just looking at you as a cash cow.

[quote] Not only is there a shocking lack of thanking, but when you do thank someone the response is no longer 'you're welcome' but rather 'no problem' 'don't thank me', 'bah it's nothing' 'phissh I don't want it,' or some other version of 'don't be silly I would never make any effort for you'.

That's not the topic. You're probably bitching about some minimum wage person saying "No problem" instead of your preferred "You're welcome." Honestly, get over it. Move on.

R8, I've noticed that too. "You're welcome" is rarely used. The comeback to "thank you" that gets on my last gay nerve is "of course!" I'm not sure where that came from. I don't ever remember hearing that ten years ago.

[quote] That's not the topic.

Fuck off Karen, pretending to be caring.

You're welcome.

[quote] Not only is there a shocking lack of thanking, but when you do thank someone the response is no longer 'you're welcome' but rather 'no problem' 'don't thank me', 'bah it's nothing' 'phissh I don't want it,' or some other version of 'don't be silly I would never make any effort for you'.

R8 Now that you brought it up, I think it must be said. I HATE that reply 'no problem'. When I was the manager of a local community theater, we had several early 20's kids saying that to elderly patrons. When I took them aside and explained to them that most people over 50 were used to hearing the words 'You're Welcome' after receiving thanks, rather than 'No Problem'. They were shocked! I explained that to older folks it seems more of an insult, like they were being a problem just by buying a ticket. These kids rolled their eyes at me, yes they did, and replied 'WHATEVER...'

What in the world happened to kindness and courtesy?

Whatever happened to fair dealing?

And pure ethics– And nice manners?

Why is everyone now such a pain in the ass?

Whatever happened to class?

Nobody sends thank you notes anymore. Even me, who loves paper and cards and envelopes and the ritual of it all.

But for gifts like those—graduation or quilt—they had better at least send a text acknowledging and thanking the gift. If they can’t do that, they’re cut off! (Kids are kids, and high school graduates are kids. So on second thought, maybe cut them some slack. But no mercy for anyone who would be so crass as to allow a handmade quilt to go un-answered. )

It was when a Gen Whatever twat cuntsplained to me that saying "thank you" was rude and that anyone who considered it showed that they were not truly generous in the first place that I gave up on the notion of expecting any kind of social compact with the thieving monkeys around me.

[quote]Kids are kids, and high school graduates are kids. So on second thought, maybe cut them some slack.

If a little kid doesn’t send a thank you, that’s on the parent. If a high school kid doesn’t send a thank you, that’s all on them. A teenager with two brain cells can figure out that when someone does something nice for you, you take 90 seconds to say thanks.

I’m middle aged and I still write notes. In my best penmanship, on monogrammed stationery.

My only nephew, now 23, apparently was not taught by his parents to say thank you for gifts. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise since his parents only say thank you for gifts I send about 1/3 of the time.

I used to spend considerable time, and often a good chunk of money, finding great Christmas and birthday presents for my nephew. I never got a thank you from him unless I was presenting the gift in person.

About the time he reached his teenage years, I found myself getting really resentful of not getting a simple thank you when I'd put so much time and effort into finding the gift. Couldn't even spend 5 seconds to send a Thank You text!

Realizing there was a direct correlation between how much time I put into finding the present and how angry I felt about the lack of any acknowledgement or thank you, I just started sending him Amazon gift cards.

Gift cards reduced my expectations for any thanks which in turn reduced my resentment and anger about not getting one.

my nephew who's 25 was, I blame the parents

Worse than “of course” is “no problem”.

[quote] Gift cards reduced my expectations for any thanks which in turn reduced my resentment and anger about not getting one.

R17 So, by giving them Gift cards and still not receiving any thanks, don't you begin to feel like a cash cow?

I might not like my nephews or their wives but the children always send thank you notes, at their ages scrawled in crayon, but I’m happy that they are raising them to have manners.

Thank you for this thread, OP.

[quote]So, by giving them Gift cards and still not receiving any thanks, don't you begin to feel like a cash cow?

It's $25. Less money than I was spending on more personalized gifts.

It's not like he's coming to me asking for a $25 gift card. I am choosing to send it to him because he's my only nephew.

That said, now that he's an adult, I may very well stop sending him any Christmas or birthday presents. Haven't decided whether I'll do that or not, but it is now a consideration.

Yes!

My partner has trailer trash cousins who live in Washoe Valley, Nevada. Every Christmas, they would call their uncle, my partner's father, and pretend to be interested in his life. He gave them gifts of money, every year, and upon high school graduation, good ole Uncle Harold would buy them a car. We only heard from them at Christmas and graduations. It dawned on good old Uncle Harold he became a cash cow. When he retired and announced there were no more cash gifts from his limited income, but would like to hear from them more often– the cousins stopped calling. Sometimes, even a thank you is really not enough.

[quote] That said, now that he's an adult, I may very well stop sending him any Christmas or birthday presents. Haven't decided whether I'll do that or not, but it is now a consideration.

I stopped giving my nephew gifts when he was in his 20s. I think it's okay to do that.

I went to a destination wedding last September that cost us about $2500. The couple are in their 30's. We have known them for ten-plus years. Both have PhD's so presumably they can write. Our gift to them was a check for $500.

I have yet to hear a word or read a note (or a text or an email) from the bride or the groom.

I'd never spend $2,500 to go to a destination wedding and then an additional $500, total $3,000. That's just not in my budget.

R27, I hate them FOR you. That's fucked up and beyond disgusting behavior.

r24 No problem!

I don't need people to grovel. My only concern would be.knowing they actually received the gift.

This sounds like a question for Miss Manners.

My mother used to sit us down and make us write thank you notes. And I still make sure I thank people.

I thought I heard somewhere that, with a wedding, you have a year to acknowledge the gift.

Not sure if it’s true or not.

Yes, I've always heard a year to send thank you notes for wedding presents.

With one couple I sent a wedding present to, they were already separated at six months and divorced by one year.

And I never received a thank you note for the present. No idea who got custody of it.

‘You’re welcome” are not magic words. Any expression that conveys an acknowledgement of thanks is fine with me.

A year is ridiculous. Send the thank you notes out promptly, or don’t bother. Waiting too long conveys insincerity.

OP: Do you do nice things for others or send gifts just for the thank you? If so, they can smell the insufferable neediness coming off of you.

I usually say “Fank You!”

A year for weddings and babies. I don’t expect a thank you for Christmas gifts, because I choose to send them because it makes me happy (thanks still appreciated when received) but I do expect a thanks for anything I give when it’s an emergency request from the recipient.

Personally I love beautiful thank you notes and still send hand written notes when the occasion calls for it.

R33 Hello Christina, you lying cunt!

You really think so R38? So people send gifts out of neediness?

R38 describing someone as “insufferable” then using the insufferable phrase “off of”.

But r1 what if their hands fell off so they can’t send a note???

Ever think of that???

R42 - Reading comprehension is a skill. Look into it.

Oh my god r43 I hate it toooooo!!!!

It’s spelled “offa.”

R43 - It's fun to make up shit! I'm just going to guess you're the insufferable, ass-hurt OP.

Honestly, I can't think of a time when someone didn't think me for a gift, if nothing more than a text. I must live in a bubble.

[quote] That's not the topic. You're probably bitching about some minimum wage person saying "No problem" instead of your preferred "You're welcome." Honestly, get over it. Move on.

I couldn't agree more.

If you're demanding two specific words that have be offered to you after you've expressed gratitude, then you absolutely did not give your gratitude to the other person freely... which defeats the whole purpose.

In other words:

[bold]GET. OVER. YOURSELF. [/bold]

I hate the doddering old complaint about"no problem". Tedious.

American English is informal.

"No problem", is the American way of saying: "Thanks are not required (for this)".

“No problem” means: customer requests are a problem by default .

[quote] "Thanks are not required (for this)".

So you're saying thanks are not required when someone helps you? Or gives you something?

Then you're the problem dear.

[quote] That's not the topic. You're probably bitching about some minimum wage person saying "No problem" instead of your preferred "You're welcome." Honestly, get over it. Move on. I couldn't agree more.

[quote] If you're demanding two specific words that have be offered to you after you've expressed gratitude, then you absolutely did not give your gratitude to the other person freely... which defeats the whole purpose. In other words: GET. OVER. YOURSELF.

Obviously, neither of you understood the situation. So let me repeat what I said and I hope you try to understand the situation.

[quote] "When I was the manager of a local community theater, we had several early 20's kids saying that to elderly patrons. When I took them aside and explained to them that most people over 50 were used to hearing the words 'You're Welcome' after receiving thanks, rather than 'No Problem'. They were shocked! I explained that to older folks it seems more of an insult, like they were being a problem just by buying a ticket.'"

In other words, I was asking my Customer Service Representative to be kind to their customers in words the customers understood and appreciated. Why is that so hard to understand?

I didn't learn to write or say thank you for gifts when I was a kid. It's something I should have been taught since I didn't think of it myself. Consequently, when I send money and cards to nephews etc. I don't expect a thank you, unless it's an unusually large amount. My nephews were taught to do that and I, foolishly, told em they don't have to thank me for gifts. So they stopped.

My nephews were taught to send handwritten thank you notes, one is 40 and the other is 38. My sister is an excellent mother. She insisted on manners and gratitude, when they were children. People who don't write thank you notes are selfish and inconsiderate. A text and email, while thoughtful, should not replace a handwritten note.

R53 It's not hard to understand. But this is DL and there's always some angry, sour half-wit who will straw man your post accusing you of censoring free speech, insincere in your thanks by DEMANDING 'your welcomes' from harried clerks and innocent children. Lunacy.

[quote] My nephews were taught to do that and I, foolishly, told em they don't have to thank me for gifts. So they stopped.

So, you purposely denied them the privilege of showing their appreciation for your gifts?

Q. Can you please help me get a size. A. No problem, which size?

I see nothing problematic with this response.

A customer is a person who makes a purchase of goods or services.

Perving on the staff, demanding to use the public washroom to satisfy a fetish, returning worn items well outside of the return date does not make you a customer, it makes you a nuisance and yes, a problem and a male Karen.

Thanks for getting size. No problem.

?????

The rude shits always are the ones who demand that everyone else accepts and adopts their proud, feral behavior.

As seen in many posts on this sly little thread.

That the same shits MUST use still-emerging phrases that did not exist 20 years ago is just one example of their impotent passive-aggressive "power."

[quote] Can you please help me get a size. A. No problem, which size?

That's not a thank you.

[quote]My nephews were taught to send handwritten thank you notes, one is 40 and the other is 38. My sister is an excellent mother. She insisted on manners and gratitude, when they were children.

The original Miss Manners (not today's zombie version) had the solution: before you can play with the toy or spend the money, the thank-you note must be written.

[quote] The rude shits always are the ones who demand that everyone else accepts and adopts their proud, feral behavior. As seen in many posts on this sly little thread. That the same shits MUST use still-emerging phrases that did not exist 20 years ago is just one example of their impotent passive-aggressive "power."

Oh, and you're a [bold]fine[/bold] one to talk about rudeness, aren't you, Mr. Viciously-Attacking-Potty-Mouth?

You'd better stand in the corner until you're ready to behave yourself in polite company.

When I was at the supermarket yesterday, I saw a young woman wearing a cowboy hat, denim jacket and short denim skirt and red cowboy (cowgirl?) boots. This is an ensemble you don't see often in New England and I told her I liked her boots and meant it. She said thank you with a twang and a smile. I knew she wasn't from around these parts.

I gave a couple of certificates recently to lower level staff and only one said thank you, and she is from outside the US.

When I say thank you in a restaurant now it’s returned with a “no problem.” Manners are gone.

Blame it mostly on the parents. Children were taught from a young age to send written thank yous to those who gave them gifts. I consider a phone call to give thanks as acceptable. Those who don't give thanks today were never educated on proper protocol on showing appreciation. But I still hold them at least partially to blame.

OP is not going to be ignoooored.

This guy? He's not my kind of guy.

^^Wrong thread.

Send a card from Dollar Tree with the note:

Happy Birthday!

In lieu of sending you a gift directly, I've made a cash donation in your name to the Darfur Orphans United Charity Fund.

Love, Uncle Bottom

[quote] Sometimes, even a thank you is really not enough.

R25 No, not when you give them a car for graduation.

Manners are dead. The same way “you’re welcome” is dead. It’s “no worries .” Perhaps these classless little shits could at least say no worries when given a gift

I attended one of my best friend's wedding on New Year's Day, 2015. It was a small gathering of about fifty guests held at a country club. In the front of the reception line, was a basket to drop off 'envelopes'. Everyone dropped off their 'envelope' (card and gift check). I went solo, and gave them a check for $200. The check was cashed within a week. Both were in their mid-30s when they got married. Both held professional jobs.

For the first twelve months, the bride would always mention how busy they were since the wedding, and that they had a pile of thank you notes sitting on her dresser, and just needed to drop them off at the post office. She would turn to my friend and say "Peter, remind me to drop those off to the post office tomorrow!" (The lived less than a mile away from the post office).

It's been nine and a half years, and I still haven't gotten any thank you (verbal or written) for my $200 gift.

She's already planning a party for their tenth anniversary and booked this New Year's Eve already for the party (she told me to mark my calendar so I don't make other plans). It's going to be held at the same country club they had the wedding. Of course, we're expected to bring gifts.

I've already decided I won't be attending and I won't be sending a gift.

R73, I've never heard of bringing gifts to a NYE party. How do you know you're expected to bring gifts?

I wouldn't attend, either way. She had enough time to cash the check, but not enough time to say thank you. Surprised they're still married, ten years later.

R74It's not a NYE party - it's their 10th Anniversary party which she is having on Dec 31 (they were married on 1-1-2015).

I guess 9.5 years in, the thank you notes are still sitting on her dresser all addressed and stamped - just waiting to be dropped off at the post office a half mile away.

R75 Maybe she can use the same notes for the wedding and 10 yr anniversary? However, I think she is probably too cheap to add more stamps.

R75, I was going to buy an anniversary gift for my sister and her husband. My mom told me that anniversaries are for the couple to buy each other gifts.

I was in my early 20s at that time (my mom told me that). I still don't buy people anniversary presents. Maybe if it's grandparents married for 50 years. At that point, they probably don't need or want anything, though.

I used to know and old grande dame who would take a thank you note and pen with her to parties so she could write it the powder room and leave it in the mailbox on her way out.

It’s a cute story but I always though it was a little too pro forma, verging on tacky.

I went to a wedding where they handed out little thank you cards at the table where you dump off your envelope with the money inside. That was tacky as hell, as well.

If someone gave me a present I would say thank you, but nobody does.

Not only that, there is a lack of respect! That's what it boils down to.

My rich friend let someone stay at his apt for the summer, told her that no guests of hers allowed. She brought home guys for drinks etc. didn't even ask for permission etc. this beggar was even asking for things in his apt....I mean, are you that poor? some people, it's all about the money and how much they can get from you. they don't give a shit about you at all

R8, Or the dreaded, IMO, "no worries", something that doesn't even make sense as a response half the time.

[quote] My rich friend let someone stay at his apt for the summer, told her that no guests of hers allowed.

R81 Say what? No guests for the whole summer? Well, I guess he knew her pretty well. Whore!

We're all in agreement that thank you is a pretty important and basic concept and should be expressed for any gift or kindness in any language. . The amount of irritation and ire here over the saying "no problem" or "no worries" instead of "you're welcome" is ridiculously overblown. The gist of a response to "Thank you" in every language is to give the impression that it was either a joy or certainly nothing special to have done the other person a kindness. The Spanish say "de nada", or sometimes "por nada", which both translate nearly literally to "it was nothing". The Japanese say Douitashimashite, which translates roughly to "it was nothing". The Germans say "bitte" which actually also means "please". Arabs say "afwan". "Don't mention it". The Chinese language has many responses to thank you. But all of them mean "it's no big deal" , or "you really shouldn't thank me" or, "you're too polite" or "it's nothing". My point is that "no problem" or "no worries" conveys EXACTLY the same sentiment as most languages express when the speakers respond to "thank you". I tend to you "you're welcome" when responding to older people and "no problem" when responding to younger people. But it any case, it is NOT rude to respond "no problem" when someone says "thank you" and anyone who thinks so is not conversant with the essential purpose of saying "you're welcome" .

R53 I agree with you. I have also managed customer service people and I trained them that in our business there are two answers to a “thanks or thank you”: 1. You’re Welcome 2. It’s my pleasure.

This is the difference between trained and untrained service: Ritz Carlton vs. Motel6. I’m still getting over waitstaff introducing themselves.

I increasingly get “all set” instead of “thank you” after a purchase in a store.

When “no problem” and “no worries” began to creep into common use, it bugged me as lazy or impolite. But I came to feel any of those phrases were in the right spirit and - though I always say “you’re welcome” - I’m happy with whatever acknowledgement comes my way.

Especially given that some people say nothing in response to Thank you.

What’s worse to me these days is how often people push past you without so much as an Excuse me. Happens a lot on the train or station platform as well as in the supermarket. I suppose people think I’m ancient and dull but I find good manners not only welcome but sexy.

I would take “it’s nothing” over “no problem” any day. It seems boring and repetitive to constantly say you’re welcome but so does “no problem”.

Personally I consider you’re welcome to be somewhat anachronistic and no problem to be rude adjacent so I say “it was my pleasure” or “happy to be of assistance” or something like that. BUT I try to extend grace to whatever another’s person preferred wording is. The heart of good manners is kindness and if you lose sight of that manners become meaningless.

I find 'happy to be of assistance' rather affected, maybe asking a little too much of those minimum wage clerks that some posters are so worried about. My pleasure is fine, but as a former waiter I find that a bit too personal.

"You're welcome" works in ANY situation. It's polite in public with strangers and if you REALLY mean it, say it with warmth and affection while gazing into the other person's eyes. Add a 'very' if you want to throw caution to the winds.

[quote] This is the difference between trained and untrained service: Ritz Carlton vs. Motel6. I’m still getting over waitstaff introducing themselves.

Mary.

The average person under about fifty years old is charmless, graceless and ill-mannered.

Poor r49 hasn't received (or sent) a gift in years, clearly!

R8

I agree and I’ve taught myself to say “my pleasure” instead. It just exudes a more positive feeling and we certainly need more of that.

R36

You’re welcome now comes across as a bit smug or snarky to me.

[quote]I went to a wedding where they handed out little thank you cards at the table where you dump off your envelope with the money inside. That was tacky as hell, as well.

I’ve heard of bridal showers where guests are expected to address their own thank-you envelopes.

R84 THANK YOU!

R6 Where kids are involved don't bother telling their mothe. She clearly needs lessons herself and won't do a damn thing. Instead, frame it as a teaching moment for these ungrateful moppets. Say, "Look Lucy and Maeve, you girls are old enough to understand the importance of thank you notes. Here's your very own thank you notes with your initials, (name or monogram. )The first one you need to write is one to me so you can practice. And then every time you are given a gift you send one to the giver. If I ever send you a gift again and you don't send me a thank you note of some kind, it will be your last. Are we clear?"

Remember dear friend, you are the adult. These are children who clearly are in need of a proper training. I am a picky old bitch, but my 5 nieces and nephews have impeccable manners because we all worked with the. Make the effort, for them.

I live abroad and always sent birthday/Christmas gifts to my nieces and nephews. Only one niece ever acknowledged and thanked me for the gifts. She's in her 30s now and still gets gift cards from me, which she always immediately thanks me for via message.

I stopped giving the rest of them gifts after they graduated from high school.

My siblings and I were made to sit down and write thank you notes to anyone who sent us a gift for any reason. I don't have children, but as I grew older I realized that parents don't teach children to do that anymore. Nevertheless, I sent my nieces and nephews checks or gift cards for birthdays, Christmas or other milestones, and never received any acknowledgement.

One of my nephews got hooked on drugs and flunked out of high school. My brother basically bought him a HS diploma and announced to the family he had graduated. I ignored it (just like my brother and nephew ignored my gifts all those years and never said thank you). My mother called me hysterical saying, your brother said you haven't sent any money for Brayden's graduation certificate ceremony." I was like, "LOL, no, and I'm not sending any money to any of these worthless, ungrateful spawn of my siblings again."

I've never looked back, and never felt more free. And rich.

For those who miss "You're welcome"--travel in Europe. It's still used by non-native speakers as the default reply to "thank you."

I teach English to adults and often get pushback from students when I tell them that "you're welcome" can sound off to native speakers (see R95): "But everyone in Stockholm said 'You're welcome'!"

I teach them to save "You're welcome" for when they've done something big that deserves being thanked for (a gift, for example) and to use other replies in service situations to express that they were glad to do it and thanks isn't necessary.

No problem means it wasn’t a problem . The absence of a problem is not the same as you are welcome

No worries means I wasn’t worried when you handed me the drink or whatever . It’s not the same as thank you. I find this phrase particularly grating . I’m tempted to say why the fuck do you think I would worry. But I don’t because I have fucking manners

[quote]I used to know and old grande dame who would take a thank you note and pen with her to parties so she could write it the powder room and leave it in the mailbox on her way out.

Fear of later forgetting, saving of postage, heart in the right place. Plenty of old money eccentricity there, no doubt the invitations never faded.

"You're welcome" means EXACTLY the same thing as "no worries", "no problem", and "of course!". All connote the sentiment that the favor was done purely in the spirit of generosity and that no additional favor need be returned.

In fact, saying "you're welcome", as R84 eloquently explained, is a uniquely American phrase (though it has Old English origins). Nearly every other language/country uses something resembling, "it was nothing". Even in the UK, the common response to "thank you" has been, "no problem" for decades. Before that, it was a simple, "yeah, OK" or even just, "OK".

That said, not saying "thank you" for a gift or act of service is deplorable no matter which you look at it or where you come from.

^*which way you look at it

R19 Or "no worries."

R10 being so overwrought about this can’t be good for your blood pressure. Language changes, get over it.

Your welcome sounds archaic. No problem means the same thing and is fine. Once people stop saying thank you we’ll be in end times.

People who receive gifts, are now of the kind that they deserved them in the first place and no Thank You is necessary.

When you send a gift today, always include

"Thank you for making the sending of this gift possible, I would not have known what to do with the time or money it took to send this to you. Thank you for being so gracious as to accept it."

R103 you sound like Alfred Jingle from the Pickwick Papers.

I have relatives who never say thank you, or the mother does it for them - they aren’t taught to say it.

I will add the “no problem” folk, plus those who don’t put something in your hand when you extend it, they put it on the table like cave dwellers.

In German you say “Gern geschehen” (gladly) but it’s increasingly replaced by “mhh-hm”.

[quote] But it any case, it is NOT rude to respond "no problem" when someone says "thank you" and anyone who thinks so is not conversant with the essential purpose of saying "you're welcome" .

If someone gives you a thoughtful gift, maybe even for no reason at all, and you say thank you, do you really think that saying 'no problem' in response isn't weird? We're talking about American culture btw.

[quote] Arabs say "afwan". "Don't mention it".

R84 Actually, that is incorrect!!

Question: What is shukran and afwan?

Answer: Shukran = Thank you. Afwan = You're Welcome. Inshallah = God Willing (you will often hear this in response to anything tentative, when timing is in question, etc.) Aiwa or Naam = Yes.

[quote] "Thank you for making the sending of this gift possible, I would not have known what to do with the time or money it took to send this to you. Thank you for being so gracious as to accept it."

R109 I love this and would love to use it. However, most people wouldn't understand this high caliber insult. It would be wasted on their stupidity.

R5 I get mad when people open doors for me if I'm not already really close to the door.

Common courtesy, like common sense, is nearly extinct.

I'm done with younger people replacing 'thank you' with 'I appreciate you'.

r118, no problem.

"Your humble servant, Ma'am/Sir," with a courtly bow, is the only acceptable response.

A young person once responded to my thank you without prostrating themselves and kissing my foot! They dared to say “No problem”. I still haven’t recovered from their impudence.

Having grown up decidedly lower middle class as a latch key kid, my parents never taught me to send thank you notes. I got a very lovely monogrammed and handwritten thank you card from someone, which I thought was very classy. Not that I want to be classy, I did purchase some monogrammed cards to thank people as well. It is a forgotten courtesy.

The only appropriate interaction is:

"Thank you"

"I live to grovel"

R5, was it a woman?

Thank you for starting this thread OP

No problem, R125.

I appreciate you, OP.

you're most welcome!

My pleasure!

I think even worse was when I got a "thumbs Up" emoji once when I thanked someone....

R130 And you lived to tell the story!?

Thumbs up emoji.

Quelle horreur.

No, r132, the "horreur" is no next gift.

No, TY note, no fond text, no ancient actual phone call, and Guncle stops the gifting.

Thats the problem of a certain generation: That "thank you" means submission and groveling.

Op choose better people to associate with

Sadly, another unfortunate trend but something I refuse to give up in practice .

"Among all different Arabic dialects, the most common way to say “You’re welcome” is by using ‘afwan عفواً or al-‘afw العفو. They both can translate into “pardon”, so there’s a crossover use in excusing yourself or making a quick apology. However, it also translates into “no need”. "

As in many languages, a translating article or book will use an analogous phrase for a similar situation in English, (hence you're welcome), but, like "de nada" in Spanish, which will also be translated as you're welcome, the actual words in literal translation don't mean "you're welcome".

Interjection عَفْوًا • (ʕafwan)

you're welcome, don't mention it, not at all

pardon me, excuse me

The “you’re welcome” or alternate would be from the gift-giver, not the giftee so I don’t see where a faulty response would result in no more gifts R133?

My cousin's daughter is getting married. My mother, my siblings, and I haven't seen her since high school graduation, where we brought gift cards. No thank you cards. She's now nearly 25, has a baby we've never clapped eyes on, and a fiancee we've never met. And now we all get invitations to their wedding. So nice to think of us now! Except for our youngest sibling, the rest of us threw our invitations right into the trash. So, "NO thank you" is still in style...

[quote] Except for our youngest sibling, the rest of us threw our invitations right into the trash.

R139 R.S.V.P. regrets would have been more appropriate.

Yeah, I don't understand R133 's situation. He / she is angry because he / she (the poster) said thank you and the other person gave a thumbs up instead of a you're welcome. The other person didn't fail to thank. So, no further gifts because the other person doesn't say you're welcome? DLers are nuts.

[quote]I think even worse was when I got a "thumbs Up" emoji once when I thanked someone....

I can't stand when people do that. It's so dismissive. You can't even be bothered to type a couple of words?

This entitlement and lack of gratitude is a growing trend, I'm afraid. I noticed it among the the under 40 somethings in my friends' families and my own. Forget the thank you note, I'm happy with a one sentence text or a thumbs up. Anything. I imagine there will come a day when I will simply stop sending presents, money, or even a card. Fuck it and fuck them.

I was thinking about this thread and realized that I learned to write thank you notes in school and that they taught taught different versions including the bread and butter letter. How many of you remember that term?

OP - Yes. They've been replaced with the words "Did you keep the receipt?"

I know it's minor and inconsequential, but it irks me when I give someone a ride and they don't say thank you when they get out of the car.

[quote] I know it's minor and inconsequential, but it irks me when I give someone a ride and they don't say thank you when they get out of the car.

Not only that, but holding the door open for someone, doing a gesture out of kindness, or anytime you put yourself out as kindness for strangers... it is always appropriate to give thanks. Why do some people not see this?

[quote] I know it's minor and inconsequential, but it irks me when I give someone a ride and they don't say thank you when they get out of the car.

For crying out loud, they already paid and tipped you. Maybe you're just too sensitive to be an Uber driver.

how much does uber driver make? get a new job!

No.. But rest assured, a cunty scold about the manners of others is always in fashion at the Datalounge!

There's a story that went around a few years ago about a customer complaining to the cashier that she did not say thank you, and she said "it's on the receipt."

One thing I've learned from this thread is that nieces and nephews of guncles have screwed themselves six ways to Sunday. I've done pretty well financially. I always thought I would pick the least obnoxious niece or nephew and leave them everything in my will. But I'm leaving whatever's left of my estate when I die to my favorite charity, because I never even get a thumbs up text in response to the $500 checks I've sent my nieces and nephews for birthdays/graduation/Christmas, etc. I just sent a graduation check and decided that's it. It's the last one.

Fuck em all.

I cut the ungrateful bastards off if they don't say thank you . I also cut them off at Christmas when they enter high school . Cuts down on overhead !

I’m 35. “You’re welcome” to me, is usually used in bitter sarcasm to the point where I would feel rude to say it to someone in a good way.

Almost like I’d never say goodbye to anyone. Goodbye means fuck you / fuck off today.

I was shocked to get a thank you text from my step nephew this week. I sent him a gift card for high school graduation and I never got a thank you from my niece, his mother, for her wedding present 10 years ago. She must have taught him something right.

Greedy relative will say Thank You to milk the cow's teat for more and more.

[quote] I was shocked to get a thank you text from my step nephew this week. I sent him a gift card for high school graduation and I never got a thank you from my niece, his mother, for her wedding present 10 years ago. She must have taught him something right.

My guess is his mother didn't teach him anything, he learned it on his own.

I know a little girl who got a Barbie Dream House one Christmas and was too busy gobbling pineapple to sit down and write a thank-you note, and it didn't work out well for her.

I don’t give a fuck who says it, “No Problem” annoys me endlessly, as does “No Worries”. We’re not in fucking Australia. You’re Welcome will suffice. My nieces and nephews(except for one nephew) NEVER thank me for my generous gift cards at birthdays. I stopped, except for one. The one who takes the time to thank me continues to get a fat birthday gift card.