Brain Eating Worm Starves to Death

That would explain a lot.

[quote] Brain Eating Worm Starves to Death

Lol, ElderLez.

Surprisingly, the NY Times opened a comments section. I sent in a one-liner along the same lines as your amusing thread title.

Of course, they haven't posted it.

Right now, I actually envy the NY Times comments moderator. They must be laughing their ass off over the submissions that they won't post.

I wouldn’t vote for him if I had a literal hole in my head!

Are we absolutely sure the brain eating worm is dead?

It took me way too long to get your joke OP. I hope a worm isn't eating my brain.

You aren’t Dr. Z. R2? (Not a one liner though)

Yep. This tracks.

* warbler voice *

"VOTE FOR ME! I GUILTED MY FIRST WIFE INTO SUICIDE AND HAVE BRAIN ATROPHY FROM A WORM INFESTATION! YOU THOUGHT I WAS JUST A PRICK AND THIS WAS ALL JUST ASIDE EFFECT OF ALL THE HEROIN BUT NO -- PARASITES! BUT AT LEAST I'M UNVACCINATED AND FAMOUS! VOTE FOR ME SO TRUMP WILL HAVE A BETTER SHOT AT WINNING!"

* violent head shaking as warbling voice trails off *

Talk about a dark personality showing up on someone’s face- ugh.

TMI

You’ve forgotten the mercury poisoning R7

I can't listen to him.

How is he still running? Just go away already, Jesus.

Best thread title in a long time!

Anecdotally I've seen one Kennedy bumper sticker on a Hummer that also had Fraternal Order of Police sticker. I took a pic. Aaand the house that had Trump flags flying since 2016 and only took them off for a giant Merry Christmas light up sign has now put out 3 official Kennedy Shankawhatever campaign signs.

So has he, R10. But in his defense, he has brain worms and used to be a heroin addict, so I can understand how it might slip his swiss cheese like brain on occasion.

Maybe he should have gotten vaccinated.

A worm in your brain?

Wouldn't there first have to be a brain present?

R14, do you think these are former Trumpoids who are now genuinely going to vote for RFK Jr, or are they just sneakily trying to get Dems to vote for RFK Jr while they themselves keep voting for T-Rump?

Oh great another RFK Jr thread!

New Twitter account: RFKJrsBrainWorm speaks out!

"I was so hungry"

Which one is the worm?

Ivermectin accidentally worked out for him.

I stole your headline, OP.

My question is, how exactly do you get a brain-eating worm? Was it something he ate? Is it sexually transmitted? Did something crawl in his ear while he was sleeping?

Inquiring minds want to know.

A passing worm was probably tempted in by all the succulent pathogens with which RFK Jr's unvaccinated brain teems.

After people eat food contaminated with the tapeworm's eggs, secretions in the stomach cause the eggs to hatch into larvae. The larvae enter the bloodstream and are distributed to all parts of the body, including the brain and spinal cord. The larvae form cysts (clusters of larvae enclosed in a protective wall).

NEEDLES, R26.

He's running to make Biden and Trump seem vigorous and statesmanlike.

Making Dementia Don seem a tad smarter through brain worm infestation is quite the feat.

Way to go, buddy! Just an incredible job!

R28? I know I asked for that, but it was still TMI.

Now I feel a little queasy...

NYT: Kennedy claimed in his 2012 divorce proceedings that the brain-eating worm and other health ailments had affected his brain function and consequently his earning potential.

“I have cognitive problems, clearly … I have short-term memory loss, and I have longer-term memory loss that affects me,” Kennedy said in the deposition.

[quote]I have cognitive problems, clearly

Sounds like a winning bumper sticker, r33!

Sounds like something Khan would give you.

I think you can actually get s Brain- eating amoeba from swimming in contaminated water. Where the Hell has he been?

When they were teenagers he and his younger brother used to go whitewater rafting on the Amazon with Lem Billings.

There are a few clues there.

I was wondering why Ivermectin is trending. He said he's fine now, but I would love to see a recent brain scan to see if he has some lingering structural damage. Once brain tissue is gone, it's gone.

I've only traveled to Europe. I imagine that vaccinations are still required to travel to Asia, S. America, and Africa. Did he forego those?

We already had a brain damaged president (with a loaded diaper) running for president, thank you.

I believe calcifications form around the site. It would be interesting to know the location.

Ya cain't have too many.

Calcifications don't sound good at all. Neurologists and experts will be discussing this shortly so we'll find out.

Let's hope r42

I just saw two people in my socials post about this prick, that they were voting for him over Biden and Trump.

"Do your research on him!", said one. The other gave the statement a heart.

They were both rabid Trumpers last election.

Wormelot

Hasn't this dumb fucker heard that drinking bleach is good for whatever ails you?

I happen to have had a brain MRI yesterday, so I am fairly confident that no portion of my brain has been eaten by a worm, unless the worm ate the very portion of my brain that would process the information that a worm ate part of my brain, in which case “Ignorance is bliss.”

^ I have a feeling that RFK Jr. would flunk an MRI test

The jokes just write themselves.

Tonight, on The Night Gallery...

^ Still one of the most famous episodes 😬

Came out the same year his dad was murdered.

This is just - chef’s kiss.

Elder lez, I’m going to be laughing at this headline AND thread for the feast of the day.

I didn't know about the heart condition that he claims to have spontaneously recovered from.

[QUOTE]For decades, Mr. Kennedy suffered from atrial fibrillation, a common heartbeat abnormality that increases the risk of stroke or heart failure. He has been hospitalized at least four times for episodes, although in an interview with The Times this winter, he said he had not had an incident in more than a decade and believed the condition had disappeared.

😬 Relative to how big they get in the intestine.

[QUOTE]those in the brain remain relatively small, about a third of an inch

Yep, calcification does occur. It sounds like he's minimizing, maybe?

[QUOTE]Scott Gardner, curator of the Manter Laboratory for Parasitology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, said that once any worm is in a brain, cells calcify around it. “And you’re going to basically have almost like a tumor that’s there forever. It’s not going to go anywhere.”

"Kristi Noem: I cannot believe i was stupid enough to tell people i murdered a puppy. What an unforced error.

RFK Jr: Hold my dead brain worm."

Apologies, ElderLez. I also confess to stealing your headline.

I could believe it if it had been Trump.

Looks like they left it there.

[quote]“I have cognitive problems, clearly ..."

I remember when a thing like that could get you kicked off the ticket!

OMG OMG OHMYGODDDDD Whyyyyy did I read that?

I know I have such a loony bin-level of extreme fear of worms I hate even typing or reading that word,

BUT

Take my poll: Which past POTUS candidate or winner can you imagine even thinking about [over]sharing that disgusting bit of TMI?

Joe Biden

Hillary Clinton

Abe Lincoln

Adlai Stevenson

Thomas Jefferson

Marianne Williamson

Barack Obama

Pat Paulsen

Al Sharpton

Definitely something I would keep to myself.

Well, he looks a bit like a dead worm, so…

Maybe he shakes because he is still trying to get the worm out of his brain.

The Trumpers who initially supported Trump because they got horny when he said "Vaccines cause autism" are pissed at him for still pushing the covid vaccine and LOoooooove Brain Worm's antivax creds

Kristi Noem and the brain worm should run on a ticket together. Noem/Worm 2028

It's actually an old kid's joke, people, but forgive me if I don't remember exactly how it goes.

When we were kids, my younger sister (may she RIP) would come up behind me, spread her fingers and arch her hand and move as if to massage the top of my head and say something like, "Oooo -- it's a brain sucker." Then she'd move her fingers on my scalp and say, "So what's it doing? [bold]STARVING!![/bold]

Something like that, anyway.

Me too, but as the older sister I was generally the one impersonating the brain eating monster R67. That memory was certainly the inspiration for the thread title.

Cool.

Perfect, we have some real choices here. Dementia, narcisism and dementia or brain damage. Decisions decisions. Those that present the options must be laughing their asses off.

Anybody who believes the tired Republican line that Biden has dementia must have dementia themselves.

Paging Pink Floyd.

[QUOTE]When they were teenagers he and his younger brother used to go whitewater rafting on the Amazon with Lem Billings.

Didn't one of the Kennedys go missing in the Amazon, never to be found? Or was it a Roosevelt or a Rockefeller? He was the scion of an east coast family There's the kind of risk-taking that got JFK Jr killed.

Biden has a lifelong speech disorder that he has mostly, but not entirely, overcome and he has old-man-short stride walk, but mentally he seems sharp as a tack R70.

RFK reminds me of a chimpanzee who escaped from a zoo

Just throwing this out there. A photographer described his photoshoot with Jr. as the "top of the worst" he's ever had professionally without going into specifics because he was presented with an NDA upon arrival at the shoot. Described it as an astonishingly disrespectful environment.

I wonder if there are emotional dysregulation problems, as well, depending on where the worm lodged. I cant believe I just wrote that sentence about a presidential candidate. 😵

Photographer got his silent revenge with that portrait.

Yeah I hope when my dementia arrives it's just like Joe's.

I hope that aquiring brain worms becomes the new "in" thing with anti-vaxxer edgelords like Aaron Rodgers, Joe Rogan, Russell Brand, and similar.

They could have a contest as to which one could collect the most worms -- the most worms = biggest alpha male!

Andrew Tate could get in on this, as well.

I love it, R78! "Real men have brain worms! And shit their pants!"

^ lol!!

I read about the whitewater raft trips in Christopher Lawford's memoir. He mentioned that the group was outfitted with narcotics (like morphine) in case of emergency. Lawford remembered his cousin, RFK Jr, made himself responsible for the care-taking of "the goodies" and that the supply was noticeably smaller each time inventory was taken.

I refuse to believe that the United States is a real country at this point. These are really the choices for President?

A few years ago there was a dr. who had a patient with a brain tumor. WHen he operated and cut her skull open he burst out laughing and pulled out a worm. When she woke up he told her about the worm and told her to cook her pork more thoroughly as raw pork can cause worms in your brain. She was the 2nd person I had read about that had the same thing. COOK YOUR PORk thoroughly!

Inappropriate laughter

This is the first and only case I had ever read about and thought who TF eats street food in Tijuana, pork at that.

[QUOTE]Dawn Becerra and her doctors believe the parasite got into her system three years ago, when she ate a pork taco while on a visit to Mexico.

How the fuck did a worm get into his brain?

^ Worms like a lot of room to roam around 😉

This is like something out of the National Enquirer.

That horse-faced wife of his sure does have a broken picker.

R86, it gets into the digestive track by eating undercooked pork. From there, the eggs get into the bloodstream and some can end up in your brain and hatch.

How the eggs can survive the acid in your stomach, idk, but that’s what the article says.

That photo. It's quite alarming to see what happens to Kennedys when they avoid assassination, plane crashes, and "ski football" long enough to reach old age.

Not really, r84. I'm no Suzy Sunshine, but I think it was laughter from the weird novelty of the situation and relief if he expected something more serious and difficult to remove. And possibly have to tell her very bad news.

Everything that comes out of RFK Jr's mouth seems to be bullshit. Even this.

Cheryl Hines, send us a sign if you’re being held hostage.

If you like pork chops how long do you cook them for before they become dried out and inedible? You know still not overcooked which people did all the time when I was a boy to avoid that worm salad in your brain.

Brain slug candidate running for office you say?

(Parenthetically, my father had a worm removed from his back during what was supposed to be a skin biopsy (bot fly, not the kind that travels around the body) and the doctor and assistant burst out laughing and asked him if he wanted to see something funny. He was not amused.)

This choade should just skip ahead to where he's selling his own line of supplements on QVC.

These Drs sound as high as rfkjr, laughing while treating patients.

What the joke?

[quote]the digestive track

R90? I sure hope you're not in the medical field.

Hotez is the virologist who Kennedy considers public enemy #1 and challenged him to a debate.

[QUOTE]Hotez said the diseases are seen in poor populations, with a "surprising amount of illness" in southern states and Texas. He said his team at the National School of Tropical Medicine is working on low-cost vaccines to prevent the conditions.

I'm assuming this means more expensive vaccinations are available to travelers. Did Jr refuse a vaccine and wind up with a brain worm instead? If so, I'd consider it an act of justice from the universe.

Totally fascinated by this thread.

How unshocking that he doubles down on his lunacy.

Not a chimp. An escaped orangutan.

Gosh! This is going to be an interesting race

Babylon Bee, r104? You're going to have to try harder.

What the hell is wrong with Cheryl Hines to be married to this cro magnon?

[quote] VOTE FOR ME! I GUILTED MY FIRST WIFE INTO SUICIDE

Second wife.

He was in the precession of divorcing her when she died. Her family asked for her body (since Kennedy was divorcing her) so they could bury her nearby. He refused. They went to court and he won because he was still her husband. He took her body and buried it in the Kennedy cemetery. He bragged that she was buried next to important Kennedys.; her family should be honored.

Later, he had her dug up and reburied in a less illustrious grave. He didn’t tell her family. The caretaker of the cemetery called her family and told them he moved her body, knowing the asshole well enough that he wouldn’t tell them.

He’s a cancer.

[quote] precession

Process. Duh

Did you hear him on Ari Melber? I could hear the sound of tv remotes shutting him down across America. How can anyone listen to that horrific voice? And that’s AFTER. He had surgery (in Japan - probably because he doesn’t trust “Western medicine”) to correct it.

Only the deaf will vote for this man.

Wait. That voice, that sounds like his original esophagus was destroyed by gargling Draino, and docs had to fabricate him a new one from the remnants of Dawson's blown out prolapse? He paid for that, that's the "AFTER"? Were his surgeons also afflicted with brain worms?

He got ripped off.

Just got home from the airport and caught this in Alex Wagner’s last block. Susanne Craig was explaining some details of the worm and for a few delicious moments the camera switched back to Alex, jaw agape, eyes bewildered, giving off some severely creeped out vibes. That made my evening.

UNTIL I saw the title of this thread. lol

Thanks ElderLez!

That is just so wrong at R104.

RFK Jr. is noticeably more insane each day.

The worms crawl in, r114...

R113 is the only person who thinks The Babylon Bee is funny

Flaccid. Almost as limp as the dead worm extracted from the brain of a nepobaby

Kristie Noem and RFK Jr. should put a road show together, she could shoot the worms as they crawl out of Kennedy's face

Everyone I know who says they're going to vote for him, also has "diminished cognitive abilities".

"“At the time of revealing this information in a deposition, RFK Jr. was going through divorce proceedings with Mary Richardson and was arguing that his earning power was diminished due to cognitive struggles.”

If your earning power is diminished due to cognitive struggles, you are not fit to lead the most powerful country in the world."

His head is the color of a log that’s been soaked in polluted water.

Made me think of this classic

RFK Jr. has got more poop in his head than worms 💩

Off-topic but I thought I’d worm this into the conversation anyway.

Are some of Joe and Rose’s grandchildren financially cash-poor?

I know the wealthy have assets tied up into all kinds of sheltered financial and property instruments as the wealthy do, but I’m sensing that the generational wealth is diminishing.

When the Kennedys sold the Chicago Merchandise Mart I read that the cash was going to be divided among the grandchildren of Rose and Joe.

That’s a great question R123. I don’t know the answer, but obviously some people in the public eye aren’t as wealthy as their image would suggest (ahem, Ann Coulter) With all the drugging, do-gooding and expensive leisure pursuits it’s quite possible many of the Kennedy family have burned through their bootlegging inheritances.

The ivermectin didn’t work, try droncit bro!!!!!!! The worm died because it ran out of brain cells

I would venture to guess that Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg is probably among the more individually wealthy of the grandchildren.

Jackie O left all of her real estate -Martha’s Vineyard, 1040 Fifth Ave, and the New Jersey Horse Farm to both Caroline and John-all sold.

I think she received whatever her brother’s estate had after settling with the Bessette family.

^^^ unless he’s got toxoplasma which leaves a scar

[quote]Are some of Joe and Rose’s grandchildren financially cash-poor?

I'm practically living out of my car!

I’m fine with people who made money bootlegging. My entire town survived Prohibition by bootlegging. We built hotels on the bay, a trolley car from the train station to the beach and people booked “fishing parties” on local boats. Once out on the bay they pulled up the bottles that had been tied to buoys and made whoopie. Prohibition was a business opportunity. Thanks, Evenagelicals, you gave us a Catholic president!

Evenagelicals

Ugh, why can’t my spellcheck keep “evangelicals” in its vocabulary?

😂 😂 😂

I am also pro-bootlegger.

Kennedy bootleg tequila was said to have contained a tapeworm segment instead of a moth larva at the bottom of the bottle.