I'm sad, I bonded with my bosses dog, she's putting him down tomorrow and wont let me see him one last time.

Put her down.

The best advice is to get a new job as soon as possible. Her actions don’t make much sense, at least in your telling, but you have already started investing in the drama. Working in your boss’ home and getting entangled with her personal life is not a great plan.

Don't ever consider bosses or coworkers as friends. They are not.

^^^ and neither are their dogs

There's nothing you can do about the dog, but there is something you can do about not working for this hideous individual any longer.

Yeah she sounds like a cunt and based on your laundry list of (I'm assuming) armchair diagnosis, you've also considered her to be one for some time before this recent dog episode. At least long enough to research these labels you've put on her.

If you have this much hostility and resentment towards her it's not good for either of you to be continuing with this relationship. You're saying she trusts you but maybe she shouldn't, given how much pent up hatred you have for her, justified or not.

You say she's making it all about her but the thing is it really is. It's her dog, ultimately her financial and emotional responsibility and her decision to make based off of what she thinks she has the emotional bandwidth to handle. Based on what you say about her psyche it sounds like she might not have the emotional reserves to deal well with a slowly dying dog. You may not like it, you can offer suggestions for alternatives, heck you could offer to take the dog.

But it's her dog not yours

Is this part time job working for a woman you clearly loathe so important to you?

If it isn't keeping you from the poorhouse or leading to some life changing opportunity, leave.

It's not worth the misery.

Also: get yourself a dog. Clearly you'd be a good dad to one.

OP = Troll, lunatic, or both

[quote]Yeah she sounds like a cunt and based on your laundry list of (I'm assuming) armchair diagnosis,

Not an armchair diagnosis, these are things her mental professionals have told her which she told me. The only thing I added was narcissist. She's attempted suicide 3 times. I have taken her to the ER 3 times as well. Not for suicide but for fake illnesses where they eventually find nothing wrong with her. Usually on a holiday when she's all alone.

Are you accompanying heron holiday or dropping everything to rescue her while she's on vacation? Either way For a part time employeee that is behavior of an E.xtremely S.elfless T.ype.

[quote]But it's her dog not yours You say she's making it all about her but the thing is it really is. It's her dog, But it's her dog not yours

Yes I know it's her dog, but she has literally asked me if I would take her dog of something ever happened to her. That's how much she's pulled me in to being a part of it's life. I have a key to her place in case someone needs to rescue her dog, she has hand written signs on her door with my name to let me in to take care of her dog.

What I mean by her being selfish is not so much that she wont let me see the dog before it's gone, it's that she's not thinking of the dog itself. As I said, other's have offered to take care of it instead of putting it down and she wont consider that.

Yeah she sounds awful and you should consider this a good indication of how she might treat you as an employee if you ever become inconvenient or a drag on her vibe.

Youknow what you need to do but I'll say it again: get out. Get a dog. Get another job. Get a book about codependency and next time a coworker or boss or friend and family tries to manipulate you into this level of enmeshment , don't!

Yeah, I know, I am thinking seriously about ending this relationship. I kept telling myself that since it was only a couple days a week, it's just a side gig that I could handle it. The pay is really good which is kind of my problem. It's double what I would make in my regular field of work. I consider it combat pay. She's asked many times if I could do 3 or 4 days but I wont do it because I thought setting a boundary of 2 days max would be easy to handle. But... clearly it's not.

OP, I could see this going either way for you. If you set up strong boundaries in your head, you could stay and continue to make money, just always knowing that she has showed you who she really is. But if you’re unable to set those compartments in your head and hold emotional boundaries, then for your own mental health, I would consider leaving. It is an unusual situation, but it also shows that she has terrible boundaries by even letting you get involved with her fucking dog to begin with, that’s just weird.

I had to put a 14-yr. old female cat to sleep recently. She had a golfball-sized lump on her abdomen and was losing weight, even though she had a good appetite. She would spontaneously go into hissing fits then she'd go back to normal. But the past year I had to start spreading throw rugs because she forgot where the litter boxes were sometimes. I think she was getting senile and it was becoming too much.

I had guilty thoughts of "who am I to kill somebody?" but ultimately decided to put her down. You spend years trying to keep them alive then you have to end their lives...

0/10

[quote] I kept telling myself that since it was only a couple days a week, it's just a side gig that I could handle it.

When that week comes, tell the boss you're taking a couple days bereavement leave and expect to be paid.

[QUOTE]She's bipolar, borderline, narcissist, has suicidal ideation, and of course clinical depression.

Sometimes, less is more, OP.

Speaking from experience, euthanasia at home alleviates a great deal of anxiety for animals. It's more than worth the extra expense. It's the best option in otherwise horrible circumstances.

God, at this point I just wish the boss had a vet with two needles, and the OP could arrive with them.

You’ve got leverage OP. Tell her to give you the dog or you’re quitting.

Lesbian drama!

Two options, OP:

(1) Kidnap; or

(2) Murder.

We don't start sentences with "So" in this manner, OP.

Is it a rescue dog?

[quote] Two options, OP: (1) Kidnap; or (2) Murder.

Who?

R26: Kidnap the pup from the vet's and, if that fails, murder the dog owner. Cunt doesn't deserve to live.

Have you ever taken the dog to the vet for her? Meaning what’s your relationship like with the vet and do they know you? Could you ask them to let you be with the dog when it dies?

One of the saddest things that happens to pets is owners find it too sad to be there with them when they’re put down so the poor dog/cat leaves the world without the person or people who’ve been their entire world by the side.

If it’s a kind vet (not sure it breaks any law/rule for vets) they’ll hopefully let you be there even if your cunt of a boss won’t be.

Stop encouraging random people to get dogs and cats. Dogs and cats deserve good owners.

We had to put a young dog down recently, he had neurological damage and was progressing over a week’s time into organ failure.

All I’ll say is she is grieving, some grieve privately, and there are things she is definitely not telling you. As a manager, I would take it as overstepping if any of my staff did what you did- falling into my private decisions that have nothing to do with work.

I had to process the grief, support my husband, and still put on a face and show up for work as well. I would guess she is sitting in some guilt too, that instead of being selfish, let her choose what she believes is right, and reassess your connection with her WITHOUT coming out and stating your boundaries, including quitting if you need to.

[quote]As a manager, I would take it as overstepping if any of my staff did what you did- falling into my private decisions that have nothing to do with work.

Really? And as a manager do you make a specific employee walk your dog, feed your dog, take it to the vet, sleep with the dog when you are in the other room, and ask them to adopt your dog if something should happen to you? That's what she did and it's way past employee relationship with a pet at that point. You are a cunt if you think someone is overstepping their bounders after you crossed those boundaries and an employer in the way I just laid out when it's not their actual job.

UPDATE: The dog is gone, she put him down. I am very sad now.

She made me go return some food from the vet and drop off his little bed while she waited in the car. The vet asked if I wanted to see him and so without asking I took that offer. She walked me back to the cage and he was so happy to see me. I held him for a bit, he was so full of life and happy, eating, gained weight, I sort of lost it. Then I started getting texts about what's taking so long. I said my goodby and started to leave and all I could hear is him crying for me not to leave him there. It was killing me.

Today, guilt ridden leaving him that way, I went up with my partner 1 hour ahead of when I knew she was going to be there. They let us see him and of course I lost it. Even my partner was in tears. I held him for a good 1/2 hour and he calmed down and put his head next to my head and didn't want to let go. They said he cried for a long time after I left the day before. Time was getting close so I left a second time and he cried out like before. All the way down the hall past the doors we could still hear him while we were waiting for the elevator. My partner turned to me and said we cant do this to him, lets go back. I decided fuck it, I don't care if I lose my job, and we both returned to keep him company. Held him until she showed up with her BS life coach. She was not happy, I know she didn't want us there, but she was self medicated up to the limit so she was not able to really argue. Did the hand off in a special room, everyone in tears. Then she decides to cry on my partners shoulder after having the nerve to say she didn't want us there. We left and shortly after we got a call that he's gone. My heart breaks because apparently it didn't go well, he cried out in pain the whole time the injection was taking time to kick in, not just from the initial IV injection. Her coach is the one who held hm and gave us the update. She sounded kind of distraught on how that happened, she's put other pets down and it normally it's very peaceful. I cant stop thinking about that now.

I am glad I was there for him and broke the rules to return and comfort him as much as I could. I am thankful I have a partner who would suggest that in a time of crisis and gave me the backup to do it. My boss thanked us before we left. But I am so sad and angry right now I don't think I can ever look at her with sympathy again. I feel nothing for her. It didn't have to be that way, she could have taken him home, even the vet said that. And cutting people out of your dogs life who you made take care of him for years is selfish as fuck.

On the other side of the coin your story reminds me why I have so much respect for our vet.

My daughter’s dog had cancer and my daughter wanted to explore every option.

There was a surgery that might extend the dog’s life by a few months. The cost was $10,000.00.

My daughter was so distraught she was willing to take out a loan or put the whole thing on a credit card.

The vet gently and kindly explained why the surgery was a bad idea. How even if it would give us a few months the end result would be a painful death. He refused to take her money and convinced her to let go. We put the dog to sleep while my daughter held the dog and I held my daughter.

OP’s boss is a heartless bitch. Her dog is nowhere near the end.

OP likely means his boss' dog. Or boss's dog.

Prioritize your own life. Drop this person from your life immediately. If not you’ve only got yourself to blame.

This is why they hate us.

Purchase a clicker. Call her up and click it at her.

The dog is dying. I hate to say it but it's not a human being, it's a dog. People get involved with animals and that's fine but they don't live very long and it's very hard for some people to accept that and move on. And the dog will be better off being put down than bringing it home to drag out its misery. And sadly pets are considered property and this one isn't yours.

How to deal with a pet’s terminal illness is a difficult, personal decision. There is no right answer. It’s her dog. Her decision.

If you feel she was insensitive to your feelings, quit. But don’t try to make this about the dog. It isn’t.

[quote] As a manager, I would take it as overstepping if any of my staff did what you did- falling into my private decisions that have nothing to do with work.

Not sure I believe OP's whole thing here, with the absolutely crazy shitty ridiculous nutso boss, but this comment is idiotic. The idea that there must be some strict and absolute separation between people at the sacred workplace and nobody must ever discuss anything that isn't inance workplace blather is something only the most robotic HR cunt could possibly believe. Are you a robotic HR cunt?

What kind of person works for a bipolar, borderline, narcissistic, suicidal boss for seven years?

Either the pay is fantastic or you deserve each other.

What R2 typed! You "gotta get da fuck" out of that job& away from that crazy woman!!

It's always "all about them". I had an old neighbor 25 yrs ago who was like that, she tried to put to sleep 2 adorable, bonded rescue cats because she was going thru her 3rd divorce; her ex-husband gave her the cats. I called her vet, told her who I was, the vet said "I know who u are because Phyllis said u would call for the Cats". Phyllis is my wonderful neighbor down the road. The vet did a complete physical exam on the cats, nothing wrong with them.

I renamed them Tom and Gerri, they lived for 16 yrs.-died within 3hrs of each other.

I get it OP. Hating your boss probably made you love that dog more.

[quote]The dog is dying. I hate to say it but it's not a human being, it's a dog. ..... And the dog will be better off being put down than bringing it home to drag out its misery.

But there is the problem, the dog was NOT in misery. If it was, I would say time to put him down. The dog was put down by my boss just because she didn't want to deal with it AND she would not allow anyone else to adopt the dog and let it live out it's time in peace and comfort until that time he was in pain or ready to go. We don't put down older men the same week they test positive for prostate cancer do we? Just so the spouse does not have to deal with it or wants to deal with it in their own way.

[quote] But don’t try to make this about the dog. It isn’t.

Well, it's the dog who was put to death before it's time. I think it's about the dog.

OP if this is all a genuine story then I’m glad you did go back and see the dog before he died, and that ultimately he did have people around him when he died.

I would say if you don’t desperately need the money from this job, quit and get this psycho cunt out of your life. It obviously isn’t good for your mental health and now the dog is gone, there’s no reason to keep this woman in your life (other than money, but there’s other jobs)

Thanks R46, it's all real, I don't know why some queens on the DL must play down every post as if it's just some false script. But I guess that's the DL. Anyways, thanks for your advice. I do need the money but at this point, I am re-evaluating it. She is way over the top crazy and probably on the edge of being addicted to prescription drugs but as I can deal with that. It's the cruelty towards the dog (in the name of her own mental health) that kind of pushed me over the edge with her. At this point, I literally don't have any further dates set to work for her.

I know her, she's hoping after a few days she can call me to come get rid of all the dog stuff she has around so she does not have to deal with it herself. I am not going to do it. Her dog, her responsibility right?

[quote] Well, it's the dog who was put to death before it's time. I think it's about the dog.

The time for ending the life of a dog with terminal cancer is up to the owner of the dog. It’s hard enough without other people second-guessing your decision and interfering with offers to take the dog. Stand back, offer sympathy and shut the fuck up.

I think the people saying stay out of it, it’s her dog, aren’t being fair given your boss has involved you in every other aspect of his life.

Please do not go round and help her clear out any of the dog’s stuff. Be tough on this one and stand firm. As you say, she chose to end its life earlier than needed, let her face that decision and not have you sweep in and save her from doing so.

Whether you tell her your reason or not, choosing now to cut ties with her and never work for her/be at her beck and call again, will be something you look back on and be proud of yourself for I think. Do it for the dog.

Disagree, you don't get to claim fuck off if you intentionally make someone responsible for the care and safety of your pet to the point where you want them to agree to take your pet if you die. You should at least be open to the opinion of the person you are asking to take care of your dog. You obliviously trust them enough to do the right thing, to make the right decisions if you are not around, a normal person would at least listen to their opinion. That's what a responsible person would do.

OP lives the drama. Get your own dog, maybe?

I'll take "Tell us about your relationship with your mom, without telling us about your relationship with your mom" for $500

What kind of cancer did the dog have? I don’t understand the dog losing weight and being back and forth to the vet over several weeks and then finally being diagnosed with cancer, but bouncing back after getting fluids.

OP, is it possible the dog was sicker than you wanted to believe? Would it make you feel any better if that were the case?

How old was the dog?

I had a friend who worked really hard at keeping a dog alive way too long. It was bad. I was at the vet with her once in the middle of the night and at least one other friend had a similar experience. The vet just would not be blunt and none of the friends felt comfortable taking the lead when the owner was obviously suffering as well. But it was wrong and I think we all realized it after it sank in. The dog couldn’t walk and was shitting himself. She’d just clean it up. It wasn’t a small dog, either. She couldn’t carry him. That’s why it was a 2 person job to make the vet trips. When her next dog started going downhill someone stepped up and was all over it. That dog wasn’t allowed to suffer.

I realize this dog wasn’t anywhere near that I’ll, but the dog was terminal and symptomatic.

[quote]I'll take "Tell us about your relationship with your mom, without telling us about your relationship with your mom" for $500

Actually, I had a great relationship with both my parents. She was a full time nurse in both hospitals and private duty. So I was not unfamiliar with end of life issues, long term care and how to deal with with them.

She’s toxic. Cut her loose.

R53, the issues was not how sick the dog was, the issues was giving it the comfort of returning home, giving it some time, week or months as the Vet SUGGESTED to ME personally when I was visiting him. She just didn't want to deal with anything that would make her sacrifice her lifestyle. She didn't even bother to visit the dog once we took it to the vet. She was too busy working on getting her 3rd facelift to worry about taking care of a dog.

To answer your question , the dog was about 7 years old, very small Chihuahua, which can live up to 20 years.

Move one, toots. Ain't your dog.

So don't feel sorry for or try to help any animal except your own. What a wonderful outlook you have r57.

Why are you “feeling sorry” for a dead dog who had a painless death and is no longer suffering ? You’re feeling sorry for yourself and dressing your self-pity up in self-righteousness.

I can't believe how gullible posters can be.

Tell us more about the part when you had to go rescue this lady in the middle of suicide/heath crisis while she was on vacation.

Ultimately, it makes no difference to me whether OP is making up a story. I’m happy to play along.

Calling out an EST can also be fun.

Op thinks that there's some kind of agreement between him and his boss where if he keeps bending over backward to accommodate her extremely toxic behavior, that she'll consider his feelings in return. Honey it doesn't work that way! She didn't sign off on that contract. She considers your salary sufficient for her demands and by staying in her employ you are indicating that you are ok with it too.

The ugly truth is that there is something about this situation that benefits you in some way. Because if it didn't you would have been out the door a while ago.

This is about the dog in So much as the dog has been a trigger for your issues. I'm not saying this lady is t a bitch , but the fact that you seem neurotically stuck in this issue and prefer to rehash the story from every possible angle rather than actually do something about it, indicates that your boss is not the only person in this story with issues.

Get it together girl!

[quote]Why are you “feeling sorry” for a dead dog who had a painless death

If you read the other threads it was not painless. Something went wrong administering the drugs and instead of the dog just going to sleep he was screaming the whole time until he died.

[quote]The ugly truth is that there is something about this situation that benefits you in some way. Because if it didn't you would have been out the door a while ago.

She paid double what I make in my regular line of work. I didn't know about all the crazy shit, personality issues, addiction to pain meds etc. until I worked for her for some time. It's not like you tell someone that when you higher them. If you remove to dog from the situation, I would still be able handle her BS. Its just that she pushed me into taking care of her dog who I became attached to over time. And as I said, she asked me to adopt it if anything happened to her because the dog had bonded with me. She routinely sent pics of him to me on days I was not working for her to show how cute he was.

Anyways it's over, it's done, and I am done with her. She called my partner today and asked why we left before they actually put him to sleep, implying we left them to deal with it. She's trying to twist things around because we were told the day before she didn't want to see us at the Vet when she got there. Basically she wants to blame us for not staying with her now, and to emotionally dump on us about "her" pain. Don't want to hear it. Her life coach already texted what happened and how the dog was screaming at the end. That dog was not ready to go. Her dog, her decision, her pain. I am done with her.

I’m not buying the “something went wrong administering the drugs and the dog was screaming the whole time” twist.

Revise.

[quote]UPDATE: The dog is gone, she put him down. I am very sad now.

Don't worry OP, Fluffy's waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

Oh, who am I kidding? The corpse wasn't even cold when it became the Nightly Special at the local Vietnamese restaurant.

[quote]I’m not buying the “something went wrong administering the drugs and the dog was screaming the whole time” twist.

Yeah, that was a step too far.