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Do you give your holiday dinner guests leftovers to take home?

What about dinner parties, casual meal get togethers, barbecues, etc?

Did your mother send guests home with food and what was your family's socioeconomic status and ethnicity?

Yes, I always send guests home with food/desserts on holidays or any time we've had a meal together. There is a section of my pantry stocked with disposable aluminum and plastic containers from Dollar Tree for this specific purpose and so guests don't have to return containers.

My Italian blue collar immigrant mother always loaded guests up with food, pastries and vegetables from the garden to take home.

I friend of mine NEVER offers anything when he hosts. He grew up in a blue-collar Irish family of six kids and had to fight for food. He turned out very stingy with food despite education and decent middle-class job.

by Anonymousreply 63April 4, 2024 8:11 PM

I'm from a blue-collar Italian family, and it was the same with us for any holiday dinner or if someone joined us for Sunday dinner. No guest left empty-handed. I remember that happening at my grandmother's house when I was little, then carried over to my mother, and now my sister (since she hosts the holidays since my mother died). No guest leaves her house without plenty of food to take home. (One of my best friends is Portuguese, and her family is the same way).

by Anonymousreply 1April 3, 2024 12:13 AM

I sure do. Especially if it's a big family dinner with a lot of relatives. I always make more than necessary. I try to give out all of the leftovers if possible, because I will at best eat just one meal of whatever is left over.

by Anonymousreply 2April 3, 2024 12:15 AM

Stingy people are stingy in just about every facet of life

by Anonymousreply 3April 3, 2024 12:17 AM

Oh my god, to not send someone home without "a plate" would be grounds for death in my family. German/English, but we grew up around Italians so maybe it rubbed off? No idea, but shit, our guests made off with more food to take home than they ate at the table. Then, a few days later said guests would return the container(s) filled with their own food as a gift, and so on, and so on. Pretty fucking cozy.

by Anonymousreply 4April 3, 2024 12:17 AM

I never let my guests leave without leftovers. My mom was adamant about that.

by Anonymousreply 5April 3, 2024 12:19 AM

Thanksgiving with relatives, sure, a plate to take home but my friends are the type to throw leftovers away. It has always shocked me.

by Anonymousreply 6April 3, 2024 12:21 AM

Usually, unless there's just a little left. But usually, I make too much food when guests are expected.

by Anonymousreply 7April 3, 2024 12:21 AM

Holidays yes, but after dinner parties and offering seconds to my guests, I usually have my friends and neighbors over for lunch the next day for leftovers with a few fresh items. I have had people say that they can't make it for Friday dinner but would like to come over Saturday lunch.

by Anonymousreply 8April 3, 2024 12:27 AM

It depends how many pieces of chicken are left in the bucket.

by Anonymousreply 9April 3, 2024 12:30 AM

This is the reason you save cottage cheese containers throughout the year!

Do NOT send guests home with anything that requires a return.

Do NOT send guests home with plastic bags - use boxes with flaps

Loose chips, pretzels, and cheeses go in a bread bag.

When sharing tenderloin, avoid medallions and send sections with sauce.

If a guest is squeamish about food touching other food, throw a hot peach pie at their head.

by Anonymousreply 10April 3, 2024 12:36 AM

I just gave a couple of slices of the two cakes I made for Easter to a coworker and mom gave some to a church friend. Too much cake for us to finish.

I did put some hame slices in the freezer.

by Anonymousreply 11April 3, 2024 12:43 AM

R4, what a nice memory. 🙂

by Anonymousreply 12April 3, 2024 12:52 AM

I'm always given leftovers after a dinner party and then when I get home I throw them away.

by Anonymousreply 13April 3, 2024 12:56 AM

R10 I have a number of unused disposable aluminum trays with lids which I keep in my cupboard to use for giving leftovers to guest. They can usually just place them in the over for reheating. If they prefer to microwave it, they can improvise on their own.

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by Anonymousreply 14April 3, 2024 1:34 AM

Never after a dinner party, I'm not making several extra rack of lamb, but after Thanksgiving or Christmas...sure.

by Anonymousreply 15April 3, 2024 1:49 AM

Good God, the peasantry on display in this thread! After a big holiday family dinner, sure. Especially if someone expresses an interest in leftovers. Generously offer everything.

A routine dinner party? Offering leftovers? Ghastly. Simply Ghastly.

And no guest has ever requested leftovers in Paris or Geneva. In Cairo you must over feed your guests while they are in your home but you don't send them away with leftovers. Family, perhaps.

by Anonymousreply 16April 3, 2024 2:01 AM

When my brother was alive, I always gave him leftovers of my Chocolate Cream Pie to take home.

by Anonymousreply 17April 3, 2024 2:06 AM

Have you ever had a guest who slips into the kitchen after dinner and just helps themselves? Wraps up the food in paper towel or foil and stuffs their pockets? Well I have.

by Anonymousreply 18April 3, 2024 2:08 AM

Picnics and barbecues - yes of course. Obviously pot luck affairs come with lots of food exchanges at the end of the event.

by Anonymousreply 19April 3, 2024 2:22 AM

R18, Did they demand you serve the cupcakes they brought, for dessert?

by Anonymousreply 20April 3, 2024 10:59 AM

You are expected to serve any desserts they bring to dinner.

by Anonymousreply 21April 3, 2024 12:57 PM

But as a guest, you should ONLY bring food to certain kinds of gatherings. Never to a social dinner party where it's understood the host is proud of his/her menus and cooking. It all depends, doesn't it....

by Anonymousreply 22April 3, 2024 1:06 PM

If I invite social acquaintances so something a bit formal, I wouldn't want my guests to surprise me by bringing a dessert. I would be gracious and say how lovely and when dessert comes around I would serve it, but I would be judging this cunt for bringing that damned tarte.

by Anonymousreply 23April 3, 2024 1:07 PM

I make them beg for treats like a dog

by Anonymousreply 24April 3, 2024 1:11 PM

It all depends if I like that family or friend and how much I think they need it. An example is a friend who takes ever given an opportunity because she’s got hog-like behavior. She gets very little of my leftovers.

by Anonymousreply 25April 3, 2024 2:22 PM

Always. If there is not enough meat or dessert to give, I pack up pretzels and candies which they can always snack on in the car.

by Anonymousreply 26April 3, 2024 3:09 PM

R26 do you include wet wipes in their doggy bags and a 10 dollar gift cards for Starbucks in case they need to stop for coffee? A list of suggested podcasts for their listening pleasure and adult education?

by Anonymousreply 27April 3, 2024 3:23 PM

OP, here.

I rather regret asking socioeconomic status and ethnicity. It really doesn't matter.

Reason I asked is that I made this thread after having a conversation with a friend about the "stingy" friend we have in common. He said he thought his stinginess was a result of his having to fight for food as a kid and that kind of thing never leaves you. My parents were both middle class Italian and I only know how Italians and Italian extended family are with guests. I was curious as to how non-Italians of various backgrounds and circumstances are with guests.

I'm sorry I was uncouth.

I am enjoying reading everyone's responses.

by Anonymousreply 28April 3, 2024 3:24 PM

[quote]Good God, the peasantry on display in this thread! After a big holiday family dinner, sure. Especially if someone expresses an interest in leftovers. Generously offer everything.

[quote]A routine dinner party? Offering leftovers? Ghastly. Simply Ghastly. And no guest has ever requested leftovers in Paris or Geneva. In Cairo you must over feed your guests while they are in your home but you don't send them away with leftovers. Family, perhaps.

Peasantry? Paris? Geneva?? Cairo???

Mary, you have [italic]got[/italic] to get over yourself. You're like a grotesque parody.

by Anonymousreply 29April 3, 2024 3:27 PM

I often bring either a wine or a dessert if I am a dinner guest. That used to be the normal protocol, has that custom changed in recent years?

by Anonymousreply 30April 3, 2024 7:24 PM

OP- Italian food is generally wonderful

Irish food is like English food

BOTH are INEDIBLE SLOP so you are missing nothing by his stinginess.

by Anonymousreply 31April 3, 2024 7:25 PM

If I'm invited to someone's house for Thanksgiving -- a meal virtually guaranteed to have copious leftovers -- I bring a couple of my own containers. Because the leftover turkey sandwich is the Best Sandwich Ever. (And no host has ever been insulted that I brought my own containers as they usually never have enough for everyone.) Of course, I would never do such a thing for a regular dinner party.

by Anonymousreply 32April 3, 2024 7:35 PM

R30, where do you live where you bring food to a meal that isn't a potluck? Dessert? You would never be asked back and the dessert would never see a table.

by Anonymousreply 33April 3, 2024 8:07 PM

And the last person who brought wine was upset that I did not serve it. It wasn't a host gift, it was a bragging bottle of a snob. Last time at the table. And I kept the bottle.

by Anonymousreply 34April 3, 2024 8:10 PM

I love you, r27!

Sending you a Starbucks right now.

by Anonymousreply 35April 3, 2024 8:10 PM

No. If they later start bitching about it on socials I ghost them.

by Anonymousreply 36April 3, 2024 8:17 PM

I don't drink alcohol or eat desserts but I do bring one of the other for the host of a dinner. Whether they bring it out for the guests doesn't phase me either way, it was a gift of thanks.

by Anonymousreply 37April 3, 2024 8:21 PM

R37 is an idiot

by Anonymousreply 38April 3, 2024 8:24 PM

I think you should at least ask. An acquaintance had a small, backyard catered wedding. There was tons of stuff left over and he painstakingly wrapped every morsel up and crammed it into fridge in front of us. It was odd.

He's 300 lbs. and only found a mate because his dad left him $500,000 in his will.

by Anonymousreply 39April 3, 2024 8:27 PM

Agreed, r38.

by Anonymousreply 40April 3, 2024 8:54 PM

I don’t host. We just had a family Easter dinner at my mom’s . My brother brought his own container to take home generous portion of 24 hour salad. My sister took home some asparagus salad in an old cool whip container. I come over almost daily so I just graze on leftovers when I’m there.

by Anonymousreply 41April 3, 2024 9:09 PM

I roll em up real tight and cram it up my ass

by Anonymousreply 42April 3, 2024 9:21 PM

They’re gettin nothin

by Anonymousreply 43April 4, 2024 12:49 PM

Very different cultural mindsets.

My German parents were very miserly with anything we made, it had to last a long time between parents and us four kids.

But I have an Italian BFF - his parents both came to the US in the 60s - and for a "small snack" his mom makes enough food to feed the entire street for a week. It's insane. But yes, she always has something to send home with a guest.

by Anonymousreply 44April 4, 2024 12:57 PM

No, not really.

Generally I dislike leftovers and, with the occasional exception, aim to avoid excess food. And I dislike having food pressed on me with too much fervor. Or overly effusive gushing about how delicious something is at a dinner party. Of course, say that you enjoy it and thank the hosts for the delicious mean and excellent company, but don't make a mawkish theatre out of it.

I hate seeing adults with the means to secure their own food rush like a WalMart Black Friday mob for the crusts of leftover sandwiches from a sales meeting in the office conference room, or for free samples of "who cares what, it's free!". Its food, not gold bricks that are being given away. Have a crumb of dignity.

There are exceptions, naturally. If there's too.much food and one of your friends enjoyed the meal but can't boil water; or maybe the friend who couldn't come because he is home sick and not up to cooking, or make an extra for the friend you know genuinely loves your famous blueberry whatever, or take a chance with dropping something special off for a friend who has been feeling a bit down.

Generally though, as a guest I don't want a pyramid of Tupperware and foiled wrapped food pressed on me nor do I like pushing it onto others. My parents-in-law always give us such things, but because they know they are favorites or special treats that my mother-in-law, a cookbook writer, does best. That's a little different. She's been doing the same for her son since he was old enough to have favorite foods.

I know some families have a very different approach, and some hosts (though none that I have known), it's just not my background nor something I usually do.

by Anonymousreply 45April 4, 2024 4:50 PM

[quote] I hate seeing adults with the means to secure their own food rush like a WalMart Black Friday mob for the crusts of leftover sandwiches from a sales meeting in the office conference room,

Sows at the trough!

by Anonymousreply 46April 4, 2024 4:53 PM

r44, I am Italian and my two best friends growing up were Polish and German.

We would sometime head to one of our houses to study after school, as we mostly had the same classes.

At my German and Polish friend's house, I was eventually asked to LEAVE AS THE FAMILY WAS ABOUT TO HAVE DINNER.

I remember that on one occasion the Polish family mom stated they only had six hamburgers for the family, and we had to leave.

I felt sorry for my Polish friend, who years earlier showed me where his mother HID her bottle of whiskey.

My German friend had a hardworking mother and a father who resented immigrants, and he made it plain that he considered me a son of immigrants and never missed a chance to make fun of me. I was never asked to stay for dinner at either friend's home.

However, when we were doing homework at my home and had our books and projects spread out all over our living room floor, my ITALIAN AMERICAN mom would come in, ask if she was disturbing us, and ask if we would like something to eat. My mom said what she was making for dinner, but that she has rolls and deli for sandwiches and chips and milk or soda for a "snack". My mom took ORDERS for food from my friends because our studying was more important than the food. My friends were flummoxed and did not know how to order for themselves. IIRC, my mom was making "brazhole" and my friends didn't know stuffed minute steak from their assholes, so I as asked for a roast beef and cheddar on a kaiser and I believe that my friends followed with chips and soda. They never studied at my home again.

by Anonymousreply 47April 4, 2024 5:36 PM

I don't quite get the last sentence, R47. I had Italian american friends in my little neighborhood. Once I understood the hospitality and tastiness I was forever delighted to stick around whenever invited to eat. It was exactly as you described, with snacks offered after school and by snack it was often meal-like quantities. Before I was in Jr. High School I had favored dishes from several of these moms. Only now I realize they came from different parts of Italy so that's why the food varied and was not very much like the boring "Italian" dishes that had entered the American diet. For example I loved Nduja, bread and sheep's milk pecorino.

by Anonymousreply 48April 4, 2024 5:46 PM

[quote]I don't quite get the last sentence, [R47].

They went home and told their parents that I was treated like a prince, that my mom was solicitous of their every need as my friends, and that the food was good and abundant.

I had no idea how much this pissed off the Polish dad, the one who beat the mom with a hidden alcohol problem, until one time he was forced to drive us to a school function, and he turned to me in the back seat, with the German "friend" and said that I needed to chip in for gas as I was the "rich kid". I pulled out the $5 I had for lunch and gave it to him. He shamed his son. He shamed himself. And I stopped socializing with my Polish Friend. I kinda drifted from my German friend, too, as they continued to socialize, and it was made clear their parent's position on me. They ended up being the best men in each other's wedding. They deserved each other.

Oh, and way back when, when I told my mom about what happened, she h=gave me the Maya Angelou speech

Believe who people are when they tell you the first time.

by Anonymousreply 49April 4, 2024 6:04 PM

R29 - R16 is full of shit ... I've seen the CEO of Ford Motor Co. leave with a doggie bag. I've been a guest to do's hosted by one of the Forbes 400 (very old money), and any number of guests went home with leftovers (and wrapped up by the kitchen staff).

by Anonymousreply 50April 4, 2024 6:06 PM

[quote]I rather regret asking socioeconomic status and ethnicity. It really doesn't matter.

you type stupid, OP

by Anonymousreply 51April 4, 2024 6:09 PM

R50 No, you're an idiot. I spoke of French, Swiss, and Egyptian culture and 30 years socializing with and working for the very rich. You described rich Americans. Being tacky, in America, one assumes. Apples and oranges.

by Anonymousreply 52April 4, 2024 6:34 PM

R49 thank you for the explanation. I understand now. I hadn't imagined that the boys' parents would forbid further visits. Yikes! Grim.

by Anonymousreply 53April 4, 2024 6:34 PM

Not really. I tend to serve enough food so that everyone has more than enough and the leftovers aren’t really in equal proportion to divide up. Plus my friends travel a far distance and/or take public transportation so don’t want to schlep a tub of potato salad when it’s 90 degrees out.

When I go to family get togethers, my mom/sisters and sisters in law always load me up with leftovers, and no one else. I am pretty sure they think I subsist on takeout and Hot Pockets.

by Anonymousreply 54April 4, 2024 6:36 PM

Well bless your heart, r51!

by Anonymousreply 55April 4, 2024 6:39 PM

Reaching for some WOP superiority over WASPs, OP?

Hint: The Roman Empire fell over 1500 years ago, and pasta is cheap.

by Anonymousreply 56April 4, 2024 6:49 PM

UK here. I am very adventurous and will try making anything from any cuisine. I have long been infamous for my multi-dish Indian buffets. My current obsession is Korean food. I make my own kimchi.

If I have friends coming for dinner they know they will be leaving with a takeaway. I always make extra so that I can do this. It would be rude not to offer it. I can’t help being a feeder, it’s pathological.

by Anonymousreply 57April 4, 2024 6:57 PM

Thanks for the information, r56!


by Anonymousreply 58April 4, 2024 6:58 PM

Let me tell ya how I take the yams… I shove them up my butthole!

by Anonymousreply 59April 4, 2024 6:59 PM

My family never did. But my mom only ever seemed to make just enough so there were never leftovers.

by Anonymousreply 60April 4, 2024 7:05 PM

R52 - We have been talking exclusively about life and customs in the US. There is plenty that people here would be less than impressed with especially with regards to the Arabian states. You of all people should know better than trying to compare the two.

I've been to over 50 countries and have had my share of experiences, too.

How come you're not shrieking about QEII and her Tupperware?

by Anonymousreply 61April 4, 2024 7:25 PM

My friend does this. She attracts people who are mooches who bring nothing and eat like hogs. One guest came to Thanksgiving emptyhanded except for a small box of wine and a tiny bottle of whiskey for herself. I was always asked to make a contribution--financial or food--to her dinners and got fed up when I and another gay friend were the only people who did so.

by Anonymousreply 62April 4, 2024 8:11 PM

No "we" have not "been talking exclusively about life and customs in the US." But that's what you have paid attention to and I see you make all the rules, too.

by Anonymousreply 63April 4, 2024 8:11 PM
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