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Let’s be a lesbian house

I’m the six foster pitbulls.

by Anonymousreply 116April 6, 2024 9:25 AM

I'm one of the Subarus. Not one of the running ones. The one in the yard, on blocks. For parts.

by Anonymousreply 1April 1, 2024 5:01 PM

I am the random used and bloody tampons, blown out of the overflowing trashcans, suspended against the chain link fence.

The local raccoons love me! 🦝

by Anonymousreply 2April 1, 2024 5:05 PM

I’m the collection of exotic dildos hidden in the box under the bed.

by Anonymousreply 3April 1, 2024 5:08 PM

R3 “That one's made out of teak, we got it in Bali. Our last trip 13 years ago.”

by Anonymousreply 4April 1, 2024 5:10 PM

I’m the B.O. that has imbedded its self in all surfaces of the house. I’m also the Dollar Store cans of air freshener in the scent of Pinewood. Together, we make the house smell like a dirty lumberjack AKA Patty

by Anonymousreply 5April 1, 2024 5:18 PM

I’m the shelves of CDs by kdlang and the Indigo Girls.

by Anonymousreply 6April 1, 2024 5:23 PM

I'm the CPAP equipment on Nan's side of the bed.

by Anonymousreply 7April 1, 2024 5:23 PM

I'm the Georgia O'Keefe prints in the living room. Extra vulvas, please.

by Anonymousreply 8April 1, 2024 5:26 PM

I'm the pantry with plentiful amounts of dried dates to chop up, and organic coconut oil in which to hand form them into rolls.

by Anonymousreply 9April 1, 2024 5:35 PM

I'm the Jamie Oliver cookbook collection.

by Anonymousreply 10April 1, 2024 5:40 PM

I'm the pile of well-worn shoes in the foyer: Birkenstocks, Crocs, Salomon hiking boots, and black Converse All-Stars.

by Anonymousreply 11April 1, 2024 5:46 PM

I’m the “Duck your head! Now, step over the base!” Loom monopolizing the entryway.

I’m waiting for the next skein of wool Marcie has shorn, carded, and spun.

Regardless of the natural dye, the cloth will be taupe or moss green - with embedded bits of kitty litter and gravel.

by Anonymousreply 12April 1, 2024 5:48 PM

I'm the elasticated jeans and kaftan sized shirts.

by Anonymousreply 13April 1, 2024 5:53 PM

I’m the DVD collection: Monster, Boys Don’t Cry, But I’m a Cheerleader, Kissing Jessica Stein, Ellen’s standup specials, and all of Ben Affleck’s movies.

by Anonymousreply 14April 1, 2024 6:01 PM

I’m the absence of penised persons.

by Anonymousreply 15April 1, 2024 6:05 PM

I’m the Let’s Be DL threads about lesbians usually appearing for Thanksgiving and Christmas but this year repurposed for Easter/Passover time. They still have the same responses.

by Anonymousreply 16April 1, 2024 6:05 PM

I am a stunning accessory that hasn’t been used in an official capacity for years.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 17April 1, 2024 9:30 PM

I'm the drawer full of Hillary regalia and memorabilia. I can't bare to part with it. Maybe next time.

by Anonymousreply 18April 1, 2024 9:47 PM

I’m the umbrella stand in the front entryway. I contain no umbrellas, only canes.

by Anonymousreply 19April 1, 2024 9:56 PM

I'm the cookbook on the counter, open to a recipe for nutloaf.

by Anonymousreply 20April 1, 2024 10:03 PM

I'm a guy who thinks they're gonna get some kinky scene, but got his fucking ass kicked. 🤣

by Anonymousreply 21April 1, 2024 10:11 PM

I'm the cat hair in the bread pudding.

by Anonymousreply 22April 1, 2024 10:13 PM

I'm all the laptop stickers.

by Anonymousreply 23April 1, 2024 10:13 PM

I'm the Black Lives Matter banner in the living room.

by Anonymousreply 24April 1, 2024 10:15 PM

I'm the rules about bringing cilantro anywhere near the kitchen. Disobey me at your peril.

by Anonymousreply 25April 1, 2024 10:16 PM

I'm the peanut allergy signs.

by Anonymousreply 26April 1, 2024 10:17 PM

[quote] I'm the rules about bringing cilantro anywhere near the kitchen.

Some people don’t like the taste of cilantro.

by Anonymousreply 27April 1, 2024 10:37 PM

I am the question whether any lesbian post on “Let’s be a Lesbian…” threads.

by Anonymousreply 28April 1, 2024 10:42 PM

I'm Chlöe and my shenis is valid!!!! No one puts their tampons in the bathroom trash anymore since they caught me achieving gender euphoria with them and it is a HATE CRIME. LISTEN TO TRANS WOMEN.

by Anonymousreply 29April 1, 2024 11:07 PM

You've never been funny a day in your life, r29

by Anonymousreply 30April 1, 2024 11:12 PM

I'm the acoustic guitar propped in a corner of the living room.

Someone's learned three chords and thinks they can play everything!

by Anonymousreply 31April 1, 2024 11:13 PM

I’m the Six Chix comic strips taped to the refrigerator.

by Anonymousreply 32April 1, 2024 11:16 PM

I’m the Scrabble dictionary, worn and dogeared because the rules of Scrabble have been violated consistently for years.

by Anonymousreply 33April 1, 2024 11:31 PM

I'm the 'Ask Me My Pronouns' buttons sitting in the Tupperware container on the counter.

by Anonymousreply 34April 1, 2024 11:32 PM

I’m the Subaru Forester in lesbian green.

by Anonymousreply 35April 1, 2024 11:35 PM

I’m the giant dreamcatcher hanging over the bed. I catch more dust and spiderwebs than dreams these days.

by Anonymousreply 36April 1, 2024 11:36 PM

I'm the hooded sweatshirts.

by Anonymousreply 37April 1, 2024 11:40 PM

I'm the forever- behaviorally- damaged- beyond- repair rescue dog curled up in the corner. I back viciously and even snap at passersby during walkies.

"NO, ARTEMIS! Really, she never does this..."

by Anonymousreply 38April 2, 2024 12:45 AM

I'm the books piled on the side of the kitchen counter titled 'Being a Single Foster Parent' and 'A Single Woman's Guide to Adopting'.

by Anonymousreply 39April 2, 2024 12:53 AM

We’re the bottle of bourbon and box of cigars. Always stored next to the Mr. Coffee 12-cups drip brewer on the kitchen counter.

by Anonymousreply 40April 2, 2024 1:29 AM

I'm the Amazon vest.

by Anonymousreply 41April 2, 2024 1:31 AM

I’m the four cats who lounge around the herb dehydrator emitting tiny cat farts as everyone breathes the nip deeply.

by Anonymousreply 42April 2, 2024 2:08 AM

I'm the Pride Flag hanging over the driveway, off the garage.

by Anonymousreply 43April 2, 2024 2:13 AM

I’m the various sized mooncups rinsed and ready to receive their monthly goddess offerings

by Anonymousreply 44April 2, 2024 2:25 AM

I'm this comic.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 45April 2, 2024 2:28 AM

I’m the well worn videos of domestic goddess Nigella Lawson

by Anonymousreply 46April 2, 2024 2:28 AM

I’m the streaming filter that hides all movies & TV shows that don’t pass the Bechdel Test.

by Anonymousreply 47April 2, 2024 7:24 AM

I'm the Tabac Blonde.

by Anonymousreply 48April 2, 2024 8:38 AM

I’m the womyn repeatedly telling the young kids decorating gingerbread men, “They’re gingerbread [italic][bold]people[/bold][/italic]!!!

The kids continue to lick icing of their fingers as they decorate the gingerbread men…

by Anonymousreply 49April 2, 2024 8:51 AM

^fuck me - I don’ know what happened to that markdown! 🫣

by Anonymousreply 50April 2, 2024 8:53 AM

I'm the disposable razors and shaving foam, purchased from the 'Men's Toiletries' section of the supermarket.

by Anonymousreply 51April 2, 2024 10:45 PM

I’m the old, falling apart “Dykes to Watch Out For” paperbacks from the 80s and 90s sitting high on a shelf. They will never, ever be given away.

by Anonymousreply 52April 2, 2024 11:32 PM

I’m the vinyl copy of Alix Dobkins “Lavender Jane Loves Women” that has been gathering dust since 1973, next to the Holly Near records.

by Anonymousreply 53April 2, 2024 11:36 PM

I'm the University of Phoenix diploma hanging on the wall.

by Anonymousreply 54April 3, 2024 12:04 AM

I’m the same five songs by Nina Simone played repeatedly on booze-laden Sunday afternoons - all featured in “Point Of No Return”.

by Anonymousreply 55April 3, 2024 12:25 AM

I kept my VCR so I could play Silkwood whenever the urge struck.

by Anonymousreply 56April 3, 2024 12:35 AM

I'm the fury when they hear "ladies" uttered on the tube.

by Anonymousreply 57April 3, 2024 12:35 AM

I'm the veggie tacos recipe the Jamie Oliver cookbook will automatically open at if someone drops the book.

by Anonymousreply 58April 3, 2024 1:38 AM

I'm the free futon from Craigslist. One womyn's junk is another womyn's treasure.

by Anonymousreply 59April 3, 2024 3:03 AM

Why do lesbians like Jamie Oliver? I’ve not heard that stereotype before

by Anonymousreply 60April 3, 2024 3:27 AM

R60 Probably because his recipes were basic and he had a roll-up-your-sleeves enthusiasm they liked. His restaurants were always popular with lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 61April 3, 2024 3:34 AM

Jamie loves cats.

by Anonymousreply 62April 3, 2024 3:36 AM

I'm the 7 foster fails.

by Anonymousreply 63April 3, 2024 3:53 AM

R53 you made me belly laugh. No offense, but you must be 80!

by Anonymousreply 64April 3, 2024 3:58 AM

I'm the Holly Hobbie doll with the spiked hair.

by Anonymousreply 65April 3, 2024 4:00 AM

R53 = Terry Castle?

by Anonymousreply 66April 3, 2024 4:10 AM

66 comments in and no mention of the oversized plaid shirts. You guys are lagging.

by Anonymousreply 67April 3, 2024 4:15 AM

I'm the Eileen Gray and Corbusier furniture and the Dior makeup in the lipstick lesbian's Lenox cottage, inherited from her socialite grandmother through a skip generation trust.

by Anonymousreply 68April 3, 2024 4:30 AM

I'm the Subaru hidden away in the detached garage at R68s Lenox cottage.

by Anonymousreply 69April 3, 2024 4:33 AM

I’m the 45 of “Lavender Blue” by Burl Ives that plays every Sunday morning after the Rotweillers have their nails trimmed.

by Anonymousreply 70April 3, 2024 4:39 AM

I'm the smutty "Girl and Cat" Balthus painting, one of the last in private collections, which lives 9 months a year in Freeport storage but summers in the dining room of the villa in Marbella, to get a rise out of Inge Rinkhoff.

by Anonymousreply 71April 3, 2024 4:45 AM

I'm the daisy still pressed in the pages of a first edition of Djuna Barnes' Nightwood, along with a love note from a sophomore to a senior at Vassar college, 1937.

by Anonymousreply 72April 3, 2024 4:51 AM

I’m the meticulous tuck-pointing on the exterior brick.

Somebody has a powerful coping mechanism.

by Anonymousreply 73April 3, 2024 5:40 AM

I'm the money we save using our vintage Flowbee*

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 74April 3, 2024 7:50 AM

I’m the set of De Walt power tools - an engagement gift from the gals at the pool hall

by Anonymousreply 75April 3, 2024 8:19 AM

Wow, this thread is suddenly picking up and getting funny. I think real lesbians have joined in.

by Anonymousreply 76April 3, 2024 10:42 AM

I'm the air of menace.

by Anonymousreply 77April 3, 2024 10:43 AM

I’m the Cunning Linguist t-shirt, bumper sticker and coaster.

by Anonymousreply 78April 3, 2024 12:25 PM

I’m the free bread pudding, taken up in a cloth purse like what a child might have

by Anonymousreply 79April 3, 2024 1:16 PM

I’m the fresh cucumber in the fridge. Replaced every 2 weeks and never eaten.

by Anonymousreply 80April 3, 2024 1:25 PM

I’m the complete set of Pink Martini CD’s.

by Anonymousreply 81April 3, 2024 1:54 PM

I’m the fist size hole in the drywall.

by Anonymousreply 82April 3, 2024 5:11 PM

I'm the Suave 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner.

by Anonymousreply 83April 3, 2024 5:42 PM

I'm an application form for the 2022 Anne Lister Research Summit (incomplete), tucked inside a well-worn copy of "The Argonauts"

by Anonymousreply 84April 3, 2024 6:10 PM

I'm the 27 medicines our rescue animals are on.

by Anonymousreply 85April 3, 2024 8:15 PM

I'm the nervous tics of the African American foster kids. Any noise we make will aggravate our 'moms'.

These White women sure get mean and angry very quickly.

by Anonymousreply 86April 3, 2024 9:32 PM

I am the Olivia travel t-shirts and flip-flops.

(Love you R79)

by Anonymousreply 87April 3, 2024 9:49 PM

I’m the faded VHS copy of “Desert Hearts” which was never upgraded to DVD or Blu Ray.

by Anonymousreply 88April 3, 2024 10:21 PM

R64, close. I’m 52! But I did work study at an LBG resource center at UMASS/Amherst in the early 90s and learned a lot.

by Anonymousreply 89April 3, 2024 10:23 PM

I’m the signed picture of Kate Clinton in the guest room.

by Anonymousreply 90April 3, 2024 10:31 PM

I'm the Justin Bieber Version 1.0 wardrobe of skinny jeans (plus size), Converse™, and waistcoats. I also have an electric shaver to do my own Biebs bowl cut!

by Anonymousreply 91April 3, 2024 11:05 PM

I'm the leftover bread pudding and nut loaf. From Thanksgiving 2023.

by Anonymousreply 92April 3, 2024 11:09 PM

R53 I bought this record from some Oakland lesbians at their yard sale a few years ago.

by Anonymousreply 93April 3, 2024 11:19 PM

I'm the kombucha scoby.

by Anonymousreply 94April 3, 2024 11:22 PM

I'm the coconut oil

by Anonymousreply 95April 3, 2024 11:35 PM

Pictures of the gorgeous smiling masculine jock son from age 10 to 22. Praise Aphrodite, he got a full ride scholarship to play soccer at Notre Dame because we'd never pay for such toxic patriarchal totemism. And besides, Lainy's upscale Wikka & Reiki storefront on the Ithaca Commons had drained his college fund.

by Anonymousreply 96April 3, 2024 11:52 PM

I’m David Crosby’s spunk in a turkey baster.

by Anonymousreply 97April 4, 2024 12:04 AM

I’m the old photo albums chronicling our MichFest journeys from the 70s to the the oughts. We did not have many pix from the year everybody got shigella.

by Anonymousreply 98April 4, 2024 12:19 AM

I'm a lesbian and I relate to none of these, although the 2 n 1 shampoo/conditioner seems accurate based on the hair I've seen on dating apps. I'll never understand lesbians who don't know how to use conditioner.

by Anonymousreply 99April 4, 2024 12:41 AM

I'm the heavy-duty chin-up bar at the top of the doorway.

by Anonymousreply 100April 4, 2024 12:48 AM

I’m the handsome faces

by Anonymousreply 101April 4, 2024 12:52 AM

I'm the landline.

by Anonymousreply 102April 4, 2024 2:53 AM

r100 knows not a single lesbian. Or woman, for that matter.

by Anonymousreply 103April 4, 2024 3:18 AM

I'm the eight spider plants.

by Anonymousreply 104April 4, 2024 3:22 AM

I’m the animal piss fro all the rescue cats and dogs all over everything. I’m also a giant pile of unwashed laundry in the corner. I get sprayed with Febreze every time a T-shirt get pulled and sniffed and worn.

by Anonymousreply 105April 4, 2024 3:32 AM

I’m the DIY bathroom remodel now in its second decade.

by Anonymousreply 106April 4, 2024 3:35 AM

I'm the tennis racket collection.

by Anonymousreply 107April 4, 2024 3:41 AM

I’m warmth. I’m an emulation of the strength of character and the fellow-feeling for guests that my owners demonstrate. Even when the guests are a bunch of catty Nancy boys.

by Anonymousreply 108April 4, 2024 5:07 AM

I’m the effortless masculinity that eludes many gay men.

by Anonymousreply 109April 4, 2024 8:11 PM

...and is generally mocked and despised in women?

by Anonymousreply 110April 4, 2024 8:37 PM

Butch lesbians are well respected in my experience. Even if they aren’t fuckable to straight guys.

by Anonymousreply 111April 4, 2024 10:01 PM

I'm the refurbished, 50 year-old, Electrolux canister vacuum. Linda did all the work on it. Even finding the spare parts.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 112April 4, 2024 10:16 PM

I'm the placenta of their invitro surrogate baby. Some was planted next to an oak sapling- the rest frozen for consumption on special occasions.

by Anonymousreply 113April 4, 2024 11:07 PM

I’m “The Moosewood Cookbook” which hasn’t been cracked open in years.

by Anonymousreply 114April 4, 2024 11:31 PM

I'm the bottle of Yellowstone Cologne.

by Anonymousreply 115April 4, 2024 11:42 PM

I'm van life.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 116April 6, 2024 9:25 AM
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