Unfrosted: The Pop-Tart Story (2024)

Yuck, I would hardly watch a real version but a fictional version, no thanks.

I'll write an emotional but catchy theme song, "The Frost Outside."

I bet there’ll be a scene when some corporate fogey is not convinced. But he takes a bite … and then smiles.

Everybody cheers. It’s a success!

Sounds very 1995. Is Jennifer Aniston in it?

Also: Marjorie Post, the zillionaire foods kingpin and builder of Mar-a-Lago, will be played by Amy Schumer.

The most powerful woman in American business history will be portrayed (unflatteringly and in old-age makeup) by the comedian who gets paid to sing about farting during sex.

Considering The Crown, Feud: Capote vs the Swans, and Julia (HBO's Julia Child show) all took extensive detours from the truth, it seems like a bit of a quibble to fault a movie for explicitly diverging from reality. At least, they aren't pretending to tell a true story.

Dina weeps.

I wonder if Jerry has gotten better as an actor, because he was terrible at it on his sitcom.

[quote]I wonder if Jerry has gotten better as an actor, because he was terrible at it on his sitcom.

That's why it only ran a couple of seasons.

I vaguely recall him mentioning this in an interview about a year or two ago, but I wasn't sure if he was being serious or not.

I REALLY hope this is a dig at Eva Longoria and that retarded Cheetos movie she forced onto screens.

Ugh, these ppl and the 60's.

I recognize every cast member but one.

R9, he was saved by his costars.

R11/troll 6099,

How long have you been a troll?

I mean it. When did the DL webmaster conclude that you are an incorrigible, meaningless piece of shit who is so annoying that he decided to bestow upon you the scarlet TROLL label?

Is it embarrassing?

And why can’t you figure out how to deal with it?

No one can take you seriously.

I like Melissa McCarthy, I really do, but swear she says yes to any script that’s handed to her.

Seinfeld was an irreverent comedy concept that did not follow any of the standard sitcom structures. It really was basically a show about nothing featuring an ensemble cast with quirky characters with little redeeming character traits. If you really think about it non of the characters were characters you would want as close friends in your own real life, but they are entertaining to watch.

R16 And most of those scripts come from her screenwriter husband, who has all the talent of a fountain pen full of donkey semen.

It looks hilarious, they show way too much in the trailer but when have we had a real funny movie? Can't wait.

He showed himself to be a complete fucking dick at least 3 times per episode on his Comedians Allowing my Obnoxious Car Collection to be a Tax Write-off show. It made me wonder what assholery he had edited out

This looks even worse than expected.

I still can’t get past the fact that Amy Schumer is playing Marjorie Post in her SEVENTIES!

I know Amy’s got a fat face these days, but Jesus, what a rough look.

Some of you just don't have a God damn sense of humor anymore. It looks funny.

What is Marjorie Post doing in this? Pop-Tarts were developed and owned by Kellogg.

It looks like a fun movie. I'll give it a watch. The only thing that surprises me is that Amy Schumer get an "and" credit

If it's a send up of bio pics? I think it's a fucking brilliant premise.

This ensemble reminds me of Soapdish, you stack the deck enough there's no way NOT to love it.

It’s very early 2000s George Clooney era Hollywood.

1960s, comedy, all star cast = Hollywood ass kissing bait

As said it’s a circle jerk vanity project it’s not for the actual public to enjoy

On Rottentomatoes, only 15 reviews so far, and a 20% rating.

Here's a Positive review:

[quote] By most standards, "Unfrosted" is not what you'd call a "good" movie. And yet ... I laughed. A lot.

On the other hand, the Chicago Sun-Times says:

[quote] Jerry Seinfeld's 'Unfrosted' one of the decade's worst movies

To DLers unfrosted is a synonym for uncut.

Why is there ‘70s music in the trailer? Why do the costumes look like they’re from Party City? Why is Seinfeld doing his hip irony schtick from the ‘90s in a movie that supposedly takes place in the early ‘60s?

Hugh Grant would be on an episode of Love Boat if the show were still around. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten some sort of Netflix series or something more steady than this. He's got like half a dozen kids to support.

r29 And this is why he's been whining about woke and PC lately - so he can blame his movie flopping on that, rather than admit he doesn't have what it takes when he isn't being held up by the likes of Larry David, Larry Charles, etc.

More masturbatory nonsense from the homewrecking Seinfeld.

No one cares. Pathetic narcissist.

The ways in which I am going to aggressively not watch this are infinite.

[quote] And this is why he's been whining about woke and PC lately - so he can blame his movie flopping on that, rather than admit he doesn't have what it takes when he isn't being held up by the likes of Larry David, Larry Charles, etc.

Plus, he has a chance to inspire a positive audience review-bombing of the movie on RT, and the narrative will be the Woke Critics rated it 20%, but the real people in the audience gave it a 93% or something (because they wanted to stick to the Wokes). We'll see if something like that happens on RT.

Good thing he’s rich because I can’t imagine anyone fucking him for his looks or personality.

Who actually gives a fuck what Rotten Tomatoes, a bunch of strangers has to say? You watch the trailer, if it interests you, you watch it. If it sucks, you turn it off and go on with life.

The missus isn't much herself.

Preachy prisspot at r38 needs a nap.

I guess this is a real thing.

It shouldn't be but it is.

Of course a fictionalized origin story/period piece comedy desperately trying to be quirky and whimsical is going to star the likes of Melissa McCarthy and Amy Schumer. Give me a fucking break...

Ah, so it's a wankfest/circle jerk.

Is Amy not on Ozempic?

Seinfeld looks like Mario Cantone in OP's pic.

Looks like something that might be mildly amusing for a few minutes and then quickly cross over into totally annoying.

Jerry was the Andrew Ridgley to Larry David's George Michael.

Oh, man, I'm disappointed that this isn't a true story. I saw the trailer and thought it looked like an interesting little pop culture history piece.

Amy couldn't tough out the side effects of ozempic and wrote an article about it.

I watched it. I am a big fan of the show Seinfeld but I don't usually like Jerry in other things and this was no exception. It was silly and not that great.

My parents were friends with the inventor of Pop Tarts. He died recently. He was a mild mannered guy.

r46 yes it wears thin quickly but it does have some nice cameos of some different celebrities.

[quote] Looks like something that might be mildly amusing for a few minutes and then quickly cross over into totally annoying

That’s pretty much the premise of “Seinfeld.”

Where can one watch this movie?

r54 Netflix

I can take Jack McBrayer… for about four seconds, then I have to mute him.

I ruined a perfectly good toaster with a Pop Tart just a few months ago. First they are smaller now then when I was kid. My store had them on sale and I hadn't had them for years. I put it in sideways or widescreen instead of up and down. Lowered it but I didn't know it promptly fell down outside the metal area it cooks and starts to burn with the filling covering the bottom metal. It wouldn't eject cause it was all stuck down there. It wasn't a really high end one but not a KMart special either but I did have to throw it away so the on sale actually cost me $45 for a new one.

I haven't watched it yet, but it seems like it's going to be just a fun, silly movie.

The best part were the dumpster diving kids. The rest was painful, especially Amy Schumer.

R56 Or just shove something big in his mouth.

So by Monday we can expect an interview with Seinfeld blasting the critics and the viewing public for being too (uptight, woke, humorless, distracted, dumb, snobbish, or all of the above) to appreciate his masterpiece.

A satire on Pop Tarts is the epitome of Seinfeld’s lame humor, which is funny because he’s so outspoken about being “cancelled” by the left. Yet Larry David had a hugely successful show filled with offensive humor that ran for 24 years and was never “cancelled.” Probably because Curb Your Enthusiasm” was actually funny, like the writing Larry did that made Seinfeld and his ‘90s sitcom a success in the first place.

RT update

Critics: 36 reviews with a 44% score

Audience: 50 or less reviews, 38% score.

^^Barry Hertz:

[quote]Unfrosted is one big steaming pile... a distressingly laugh-free affair that is, as Larry might say, pretty, pretty, pretttttyyyyyyy bad.

Ouch

It's SOOOOO obvious from space Larry was the genius behind Seinfeld.

That's because, while both men are objectively funny, cranky and specialize in silly observational humor, Larry has heart. He has pathos. Jerry is ALL ego.

I DEMAND ACCURACY IN MY POPTART STORYTELLING!

The movie’s title should be “ What’s the Deal With Pop Tarts?”

I think "Seinfeld" is among the best achievements in American TV, but as a comedian Jerry Seinfeld is borderline excruciating and his various TV "vehicles" post-"Seinfeld" have been embarrassing.

If he feels he's too young and too bored not to do projects, he should produce and throw some money and connections behind things in which those are his only contributions. There's no shame in creating and starring in (only) one of the great series of TV, but there is so e Shane in trying too many bad ideas to no acclaim.

He’s obsessively done his Pop Tarts bit in his stand up for decades, and now he’s made a damn film about them. It reminds me of Elon Musk’s obsession with the letter “X.” Maybe it’s an autistic thing.

I thought this would be a cool, funny Netflix documentary about the history of Pop Tarts that just happened to be produced and/or narrated by Seinfeld. And it looks like that’s what they were better off making.

Look at who Jerry married, he does not have the best taste

Very outdated premise, maybe the gen xers will like it but I predict a PANNED FLOP.

r72 it is more for the Boomers

This wasn't my thing, will try 'A Man In Full' with Jeff Daniels next

I just finished watching it. It is pretty much a kids' movie with light swearing, outdated expressions, and honestly just a jumbled pop culture mess. It has some funny moments, but I don't think it's going to age well. Like milk, perhaps like the five months out of date milk, they made Jerry sniff in the movie. Which is very hard to do with a movie that has a 1960s vernacular attached to it. Making fiction out of history.....it's a hit or miss, and this movie very much is a miss.

[quote]To DLers unfrosted is a synonym for uncut.

To ONE DLer, anyway.

Hugh Grant is playing Tony the Tiger?

Merriam Webster’s dictionary now has an addendum to the definition of “unfrosted.” It is “see also, trying too hard.”

I haven't seen this but I can't believe so many people in the thread were looking forward to the "real" story of the invention of...Pop Tarts. And were disappointed this wasn't it.

It's too bad Pop Tarts weren't invented before the '30s, because then Warmer Bros. could have mounted a stirring biographical film about that great event, starring Paul Muni.

Do Jon Hamm and John Slattery actually show up in a Mad Men cameo in this? That is stupidly unfunny.

Why do some of you seem angry about the movie?

My thoughts and prayers go out to R57. He doesn't know how to toast a Pop Tart in his $45 toaster. I hope he stays away from other counter-top appliances.

He is unfit to toast a Pop Tart!

R81 because Seinfeld has shown himself to be a pompous insufferable snob whose humor is lame and dated and because he hasn’t made a decent scripted show or film since Seinfeld. Without superior writers behind him and great business savvy he’s just a B rate comedian.

[quote]Why do some of you seem angry about the movie?

Seinfeld himself is angry about the state of comedy, he claims that it’s been hobbled by cancel culture, when in reality it’s the global market, stockholders, and greedy hacks like himself who are mostly responsible for pumping out mediocre content and vanity projects that appeal to the lowest common denominator.

Comedy has definitely been hobbled by cancel culture.

The talent behind “Documentary Now” could have done a funny Pop Tarts origin story.

[quote]Comedy has definitely been hobbled by cancel culture

Dave Chapelle, the biggest martyr of cancel culture, is still being edgy and performing to sold-out crowds because his comedy is brainy and keeps evolving, unlike Jerry “what’s the deal with urinal cakes?” Seinfeld. Seinfeld blames cancel culture to cope with his irrelevancy.

How can he be the biggest martyr with all of that Netflix cash? Louis CK seems to have had it worse.

R88 I'm not a fan of Seinfeld as a comedian but I think he was referring to TV comedy and I agree with what he said. Though I don't blame the "far left" necessarily.

Actually, I take it back — Michael Richards, Seinfeld’s buddy and co-star, was the arguably the biggest victim of “cancel culture”; his career imploded after one nightclub rant. I think that has a lot to do with Seinfeld’s bitterness, but he’s afraid to come out and admit it.

R91 I think it's because Richards called an audience member a "ni*ger."

R92 Joe Rogan used the N-word freely in his early shock jock career, and once referred to a black audience he sat with at a movie theater as “The Planet of the Apes,” yet he’s currently the #1 podcaster in America.

R93 #1 among MAGA cultists.

Rogan is also Spotify’s #1 podcast in Australia and Canada. #4 in the UK and New Zealand.

I don’t like Jerry and his not very nice wife. But he’s a fine comedian- his sitcom was one of the best. He’s just not a very cozy guy.

One positive thing I can say about Jerry is that he looks absolutely amazing for his age. Maybe whining about petty shit all the time is the secret to youth?

The dumbest waste of time show ever. All the people o can’t stand are on it.

I shouldn't judge but isn't that what DL is for? Anyway, his wife and kids look like they are spoiled and a pain in the ass.

This movie takes place in the early 60's but they mention Fruity Pebbles which was not out until 1971. Sloppy movie makers!

R100 The trailer also features David Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel,” released in 1974, and Melissa McCarthy’s outfits look like those of a school guidance counselor from the same year. It’s a mess.

I guess that Jerry has physically morphed into Desi Arnaz, Sr.

Jerry Seinfeld is a limited yet shrewd “talent.”

Horrible, disordered “human.”

MIldly amusing movie with lots of cameos. Typical Netflix mediocrity.

I always think about his wife sneaking pureed vegetables into their kids' spaghetti sauce and gravy when they were young so they'd be fooled into eating their daily vegetables. I don't know why but I found that creepy.

My Mum did that r105. Maybe it was creepy. Our spaghetti sauce always tasted of carrots.

R106 It just seems sneaky.

Jerry hasn’t done himself a lot of favors.

His PR problem is “too much press?” He flew 3,000 miles to completely miss the point.

Definitely sneaky, r107. We also found green peas hidden under mashed potatoes.

The dog was always waiting under the table. He even ate fish sticks.

I hate how this shitty movie is loaded with historical inaccuracies, anachronisms and some of the worst overrated comedic actors they have a tendency to put in a lot of films these days.

[quote] The most powerful woman in American business history will be portrayed (unflatteringly and in old-age makeup) by the comedian who gets paid to sing about farting during sex.

This is thoroughly disgusting.