Chris Evans wore a red suit to the Vanity Fair party…

It's still Chris Evans, so I like it. But I would like it even more if it was made out of Saran Wrap.

I don't like how small and weird his eyes have gotten since he became addicted to Botox a few years ago.

He looks like a squished tomato. Would look much better naked.

Butterface

Whore

He’s just a pair of tits

R1 Evans doesn’t look like he used to.

That hair has a lot of altitude

Pretty sure he uses a wig

[quote] He’s just a pair of tits

I’m glad for that. Too bad he doesn’t have a better ass.

Latest gossip articles online say that he is trying for a PR child similar to Bradley Cooper and Jeremy Renner. OK! magazine recently made an article about it, which is rumored to have been paid for by Chris' PR team.

Satan’s Secretary

Doesn’t anyone tell him this looks bad

You can smell the stinky cigarette breath all the way through the internets.

Cute

Wow. That’s a lot of doll hair.

R13 It is called the accurate botox face.

Dollhair thread.

God he was gorgeous.

It's a little too red.

I think he looks better without it.

R13, It must be exhausting to have to constantly dye your hair, eyebrows and beard.

Has Matt Damon commented? I would likely agree with whatever he has to say about it.

Chris would look better in a "darker red" suit such as burgundy, merlot, and maroon colors.

Then in my bed naked drinking merlot after the 3rd round of dirty sex.

I like his glasses look more.

^ he looks insane

[quote] Chris would look better in a "darker red" suit such as burgundy, merlot, and maroon colors.

How about jungle red!?

So apparently Ilaria Urbinati dressed La Evans. I was puzzled, but actually it makes a lot more sense when you see him with Alba.

Some guys get better with age.

Not Chris Evans.

Prince did it better.

It is so tragic, the situation he is in... On Instagram, his fans say he was high on cocaine. You can apparently see it with his red eyes and pupils or sumthin'. His fans argue that way because at the pre-oscar party, he was all tensed up and looked very down low (pun intended) because he is still ashamed of being seen with his yachting PR relationship. You can see a picture of the pre-oscar party at R25 where he was unwillingly dragged down the stairs by her. His PR team probably noticed that! That he again embarrassed Hollywood by not selling this PR relationship with happiness (He has to in order to promote the age gap ebhebophilia agenda of Hollywood), so his PR team allegedly gave him coke to be seen happier with his fake wife from Portugal. I will link the allegations from the teamchrisevans13' instagram:

That hair system is a fucking joke.

Ilaria dressed Andrew Scott like this a couple of weeks ago

Chris is on her sloppy seconds list I guess

HAHAHAHA this video. At first he didn't want to pose with her like you see in R28 but then he was like "Oh I forgot! I have my beard with me!!" bahahaha XDXD

He’s always been a coke head. Blaming her for his drug habits is ridiculous. He’s been doing coke since he was young. It’s pretty well known he had Scott take the fall for him when caught with coke.

He’s not on coke

His pupils would be huge, like big black marbles going to the rim of his iris

R35 Indeed. I remember this incident with Scotty. Poor fellah...

The body language I see is, “I don’t want to be here.”

He hasn’t bothered to get his suit properly tailored.

She dragged him here, because she expects things like this from marrying an A lister.

It won’t be a long marriage. He needed to marry someone who was “over” Hollywooding or was outside the industry. This is a young girl who wants to have fun, suddenly discovering she married the human version of CSPAN.

Probably many of us know people who have worked in Hollywood. I’m fairly well acquainted with an actress who starred in a highly regarded cable drama and in several indie movies.

She has a career many would envy but I’m not sure I would even call her B list. She hasn’t broken through to leading lady status. She is constantly fraught with anxiety about her next project and whether her value and standing are up or down — like a human common stock.

Even A list stars have this anxiety — when your career is essentially gig work, will the next gig be as high profile as the last? And there are always people coming up behind you.

Cocaine? Totally understand it. Yep.

I think Chris Evans has had his Moment.

Let me break this down in the simplest terms possible

Download the Starting Point app. It would have been designed to his specifications.

This is what it looks like inside Chris Evans’s head.

Look at how much negative (white) space there is. Cold. Antiseptic.

He is taking opinions and putting them in order, into categories. He is trying to build order from the chaos of the world. That is his priority right now. Not going out, having a good time, schmoozing at the Oscars. He wants cleanliness and order.

So, the marriage to a girl was a terrible idea.

I'm tired of the black craze & also the celebrity guys who just keep wearing the same suit year after year.

He tried to do something fresh & it worked.

Those that wear the same suit all the time should be shamed as cheap, lazy, uncreative or all three.

It's always a bad idea to wear bright red on the red carpet. You look like you're trying to blend into it.

The suit's proportions are off, which makes him look incredibly awkward, like a little child who is trying on his father's clothes. The shoulders are too wide and the trousers are too low, which shortens his legs and widens his torso. I would have thought that a tailor would have made adjustments before the event, so the clothes wouldn't look so ill-fitting. However, he is still a handsome man.

With that said, I wonder why it is that some people are so obsessed about his relationships and waste time endlessly speculating about them. The majority of us won't ever even see him from afar and won't ever know anything about his real personal life. All of this fuss reeks of mindless fanaticism and desperation and his fans need to hear the truth: no, he won't ever be in a relationship with nor marry you, so quit making fools of yourselves.

[quote] With that said, I wonder why it is that some people are so obsessed about his relationships and waste time endlessly speculating about them. The majority of us won't ever even see him from afar and won't ever know anything about his real personal life. All of this fuss reeks of mindless fanaticism and desperation and his fans need to hear the truth: no, he won't ever be in a relationship with nor marry you, so quit making fools of yourselves.

And yet somehow you yourself are here posting on a gay gossip forum!

Go figure!

The hatred for the girl is terrible. He doesn’t need a PR marriage because his career is waning. They hate her because it confirms that he’s not this deep soul they make him out to be.

Exactly, R46. I also think that many of his fans are embittered the fact that in their minds, he isn't "available" anymore and thus, their deranged hopes to become The One are dashed. It's pathetic.

And R45, I have commented on his looks and the fact that his suit is ill-fitting. I wasn't obsessing over his wife or sexuality or drug habits, so take your pedantry and stick it where the sun don't shine. In short, fuck off.

R44 sorry hunty but Hollywood's obession of marryin' off gay men to escort-beards and pumping out lavender offspring just needs to be called out! There is too, still a possibility that he is forced into this because he still hasn't spoken her name out loud and he ain't liked holding her hand @ their introduction in NYcity November 2022. Imagine you were in a situation like that (gay forced to marry gurl) and nobody would call it out =(. He ain't gonna marry me anyway coz I ain't a gay man, HA!

He’s really not gay.

R42 how stupid to be tired of a classic and timeless look. Black is safe, yes, but always looks good. The red doesn’t look good on him.

He isn’t gay and has never been tied to gay anything. Being in a PR relationship can be for numerous reasons. It’s not always about sexuality.

Christopher´s wife's best friend named JustinAmorim on instagram used a "snapped finger emoji" 🫰 🫰 🫰 in order to signal that they finally got the cash bag (Christopher) and will be famous for the rest of their lives for being attached to him as the first wife (and bestie) of Captain America himself. It reminds me of the fact that not just him but also another friend of Christopher's wife called Joana, used to follow an instagram account called "sugar baby secrets", which had posted Christopher on several occasions, pointing out that he is a rich dude you should catch. Horrible that Christopher fell for it.

Oh, I see, you’re insane.

Is she a gold digger?

She’s very young and has a history of racism. Him Being with someone so young has people side-eyeing him

I don’t know how to break it to you

People from Boston are almost always kind of racist

[quote] has a history of racism

I don’t think I’d heard about that. Whet did she do or say?

R56 I’m very aware. Boston is very Irish also. And they hate how gentrified it’s becoming. Boston has been taken over by college kids and transplants.

Remember Evans’s own uncle was primaried after twenty years in Congress by a Progressive.

His website is devoted to both-sidsing.

He’s not that liberal.

That's not his website, R59 as you well know.

What's "both sidsing"?

He was primaried and beaten by a bald woman who has accomplished nothing in four years.

And WTF does this have anything - anything at all - to do with Evan's awful red suit?

R57 There was an article about it. There is also a tiktok star called Kyle Marisa and she pointed out that Alba Baptista's family fled Germany after the war. They were Germans themselves, so it is likely that her family members were nazis. There was even a wikipedia section written about that but it got deleted after she started to date Evans publicly. It is rumored that she brags on set about her nazi grand-parents and with the close friends she has, the ones who are known to tweet things like "I was a nazi general in my past life, beautiful beautiful" or "Fuck me like Hitler fucked the Jews", it is not so hard to believe.

Thank you, R61.

R59 he has Chris Evans' eyes and forehead. What a cutie.

R61 you are mentally ill

Please get help

So is he officially divorced? Thought he just got married.

He’s not divorced

is he supporting Palestine?

Could it be...LUCIFER?!!

He's on his period so he played it safe.

R67 I ain't thinkin so. He loved playing a Jewish agent in the netflix movie Red Sea: Driving Report.

Did he have surgery on his throat? Because at R13 he doesn't have the turkey neck he got from smoking cigarettes (and probably other stuff) as you can see in this tumblr photo session:

When you post Tumblr links, those of us who don't have or want a Tumblr account can't see the pic you're referencing.

I'd like some fries with all that ketchup.

That shade of red doesn’t look good on his complexion. That color is something someone with an olive tone can pull off or a complexion like Prince or Zendaya.

You can get away with almost anything if the suit is properly tailored and pressed.

I bet he would have looked great in powder blue.

R72 here you can see his turkey neck archived for an eternity. I wonder if he has one down there too...

R75 no. You can’t. Some colors clash with some skin tones.

His skin is far too white for a bright red.

I made a quick tumblr account via google mail and this is was what I was greeted with, huh..

Oh, what the hell^^

Mmmh interesting. Someone on tumblr claimed that Chris' PR relationship plays out like the one with Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey. MBJ was also sexiest man alive and I heard it before that men need a gf or wife in order to get that title. Is the matriarchy at play here?

[quote] Someone on tumblr claimed

Is it illegal to ship hemlock in the States?

no man should be wearing a red suit anywhere, at any time.

R84 Maybe he should have went with this color?

Oof. I missed that one r85^^

That was an unfortunate choice, to be sure.

Maybe it was borrowed.

Did he win an Oscar?

Does he even act anymore?

Is he gay? I can't remember.

R89 Yes, he was recently nominated for some award.

R90 In 2017, it was rumored here on datalounge that he and Sebastian Stan had allegedly a thing.

He must be a Leo.

Sounds like a dick.

R90 R92 They used to share their clothes. I remember seeing that Henry Cavill and Luke Evans did that too in 2011.

R91 hehe no surprises here

Ben Shapiro is ultra right wing

He’s looked so much better in the past. And the McDonald’s Vanity Fair carpet doesn’t help.

Say it's gone. What happened?

R98 yeah... his skull has become so elongated... was this caused by the cocaine? He looks like Austin Butler now.

His face is so odd now. Not sure how to explain it. It looks like someone else wearing a Chris Evans mask

R101 I heard similar about Whitney Houston. When she had her comeback tour in 2010, a lot of people in the comment sections often pointed out that "this isn't the same woman from the late 90s". Not just the voice obviously but also her whole appearance. Given that Chris and her seemed to share the same hobby, I could imagine he is now at the same spot she was health-wise. Like, during his Lightyear promo, his voice was extremely rough. What did he smoke? Anutha LSA user said that his make-up artist told us that he is basically blind without his glasses. No healthy blood flow to the eyes anymore I guess? Oh MAN Chris, please take care of yourself instead of promoting foreign actresses -.-

His legs are thin…you can tell even with the pants on.

Somebody's "Aunt Flo" came to visit, it was a precautionary measure.

I don’t think it’s drugs but I do think that he’s not finding happiness in the things he thought he needed to be happy. I think he does the things with his hair to make himself look more fake, to look like more of a mask, hiding behind a plastic version of himself.

They looked fine two months ago.., now he just looks unhappy. She seems lacking the confidence she once had, there’s an awkwardness. She feels lost.

Another theory: On the left you see Chris' handler called Megan. It is rumored that she has a crush on Chris but because he is allegedly gay, he turned her down and that made her angry. As a person from Narrative PR, Megan knew about Alba Bapista before because Alba was supposed to be in a PR relationship with Lucas Bravo, so they checked her and knew about her nazi scandals. People argue now that Megan introduced Chris to Alba on purpose, so that his career will tank with being attached to a problematic person like Alba. I remember a video of Chris arguing with Megan at the Ghosted movie premiere in April. That was because Chris didn't want to be photographed with Alba on the red carpet. Yes, Alba was actually at the Ghosted premiere last year but Chris was talking to her at the car at the entrance. He probably said "You ain't gonna stand next to me on the red carpet. This is my movie you B" in a Bostonian accent. Yesterday at the Vanity Fair party, Megan made sure he did have a picture with her but he almost got away that lil' rascal as you can see at R34

I've never thought he was cute or handsome at all...kind of a pinched look about his face. Another one I've never understood the lusting over. I guess he has a decent body but there's just nothing sexy about him. If anything, he's Asexy.

R103 I love his chicken legs

See those photos look like people in love.

I think he sold a fake version of himself to her, he created a version of himself based on what she responded well too, someone who was very youthful, boyish, carefree, who would not overwhelm someone so young. Then once he got married. he gradually started becoming more aloof, unimpulsive, taciturn, started complaining a lot, started doing weird things with his appearance, not caring about things like getting a suit fitted. He may want her to be more of a nurturer figure to him than and is passive aggressively trying to get her to be that kind of surrogate mother figure he probably needs given how long his mother has dominated his life.

R108 you can have them. Use them for picking your teeth.

R93 The aspie expert on here once said that Chris is "aspie gemini" and could fit very well with "aspie taurus" aka Henry Cavill as a couple because they both own dogs.

R108 this is worrying. He has lost all his leg hair on his calfskin. It shows dangerous levels of bad blood flow. Can someone please warn him that he could have a stroke? He needs blood thinning medication.

Now you’re a doctor?

This doctor reminds me of Chris Evans. Same body movements, fake-nice on camera, nasal gay voice and he also kind of looks like him with the glasses on but the cherry on top was the pandemic scandal: Dr Mike had a photo op with a bunch of bikini girls without a mask on. Outrage ensued. This scandal made sure that everyone saw that he hangs out with hot women... ... ... sounds familiar?

OH MY GOD HE IS TURNING INTO TOM CRUISE

If i was Audi I would have asked for my money back

R50 Would you say the same to the women if they wore the same black dress year after year for 2 decades?

R116 women and mens attire are nothing alike.

R117 No shit Sherlock but if guys can wear the same thing for 20 years than why not the women?

Seems a tad hypocritical that the best dress lists for the guys are stale as can be but fi the women pulled that same stunt year after year heads would explode.

It's better than a black or gray

Red suits are tacky. John Wayne Gacy always wore a red suit in the Polish Parade in Chicago. And we all know how that shit went.

But he wore it better than Chris. Just sayin'.

[quote] a complexion like Prince or Zendaya.

Which is?

[quote] John Wayne Gacy always wore a red suit in the Polish Parade in Chicago.

Was it made of skin and blood?

Are you guys sure it’s a wig? There’s no lace. It looks more like a hair transplant.

R124 It is said that the hair transplant didn't work and he wears a wig now. At least according to a blind item. I think that's because when you take cocaine for over 20 years, your veins and arteries get destroyed but you need good blood flow for the new hair follicles to attach to the skull. He is also a cigarette smoker and probably didn't listen when they told him to stop smoking for a few weeks before and after the procedure.

Too bad. Except for his legs he was a lovely boy.

[quote]He is also a cigarette smoker and probably didn't listen when they told him to stop smoking for a few weeks before and after the procedure.

My grandfather smoked unfiltered Pall Mall his whole life and had a thick head of hair to the day he died in his 80s.

Don't underestimate those Mediterranean genetics.

R127 some men don't react to dihydrotestosterone as strongly as others. For instance RDJ, despite being a walking zombie with all the drugs he has taken, also has a lot of hair left. Cigarettes increase testosterone by the way and since 10% of testosterone is converted into dihydrotestosterone, it means that men who already notice in their 20s that they are going bald, should stop smokin'.

Smoking doesn't do shit for hair loss.

Armie and Chris have so much in common now. Two arranged relationships but Armie already had his PR spawn. On the outside, he pretended to be the responsible family man with his foot licking video and all the other social media posts with his family, while in private he was an SM freak that had cannibalistic thoughts. All show and no substance. Just like Chris, it's all about pretending to be someone you aren't. I mean, he even faked the marriage! Not even Armie Hammer managed to stoop so low...

R129 it makes it worse

Not in my experience r131

Armie Hammer’s marriage likely had something to do with his inheritance

Too much oddness over money (the wife controlled the money, why? The wife helped expose him, why?)

Evans has his own priorities

His career and PR are not part of that

Evans was a kid who was pushed into show business by his overbearing cunt of a mother, who lived vicariously through him after the father left her for his secretary who was half his age. Chris never really wanted show business for himself. You can always tell the ones who were pushed into it vs. the ones who craved it and fought for it.

Yes that explains his ambivalence to his career.

The ones who were pushed into it vs. the ones who craved it and fought for it - Britney vs. Madonna are good examples. See the difference?

He copied Henry Cavill too...

His wife looks familiar...

I see "sexy bottle of ketchup" is this year's Halloween costume to have!

I did some research about the so-called wife cuz I ain't never have heard of her and there is apparently an insider who used to work for the CAA PR management company in Hollywood that hooked them both up. Ooof... that does look like a mafia babe 😕

For the last time

This is not a PR marriage because Chris Evans is clearly ambivalent about his career

He married her because she reminds him of his mother

R141 Okey but then she really doesn't seem to like Evans because after they have both debuted their relationship in Nov 2022, people in the comment section of the dailymail laughed at them, calling it PR and Chris a closet case. So not only were they both now the laughingstock of Hollywood (where she tries to become famous)... after that, her netflix show, whose season 2 premiered coincidentally on the day they revealed themselves as a couple, got cancelled anyway!!! Alba apparently became angry because of that: According to PR theorists, she basically has signed this alleged PR contract with Evans for nothing but humiliation and as a result she, out of anger, posted a nude shower video (linked below) on her instagram for everyone to see, including the tween nephews of Evans, which were following her too (Ugh she nastey). Why did she humiliate Chris that way if he, according to you, loves her as much as he loves his mother (who according to datalounge sleeps in the same bed as him during work related hotel stays)? Is Evans trapped in an abusive relationship?

R142 No. I told you exactly what happened. He presented himself as this boyish charming youthful guy during the courtship, married her, she thought she was going to go to premieres and live a glamorous life in Hollywood, and suddenly she finds out she’s stuck in BOSTON with a politics-obsessed bore who doesn’t care about fame, doesn’t care about his career and is becoming stranger and stranger in his personal appearance.

R143 Oh yes, I don't deny that but the hostility from her is still counterproductive. When they debuted, she got a lot of hate comments because of her exposed anti-Smitism that was linked at R61. Yet when she and Chris got called names (He was called a pedo because of the age gap), Alba only deleted the mean comments against her on instagram but left the insults against Evans up below her pictures. So do you say he doesn't care that she hates him that much? Or does Evans only care for the public image cause she has a questionable past anyway:

R144 you seem very eager to accept Baptista wrote those things despite the flimsy evidence from easily manipulated screenshots. You will never accept anything besides the narrative you have created.

R145 I didn't say she wrote anything. I just said that it was observed that she left the hate comments against Evans up and only deleted the hate comments against her on her instagram when this relationship officially started. It made me wonder how you can do this to someone you love?