Let's be lies we tell on Datalounge

I have never once drained pasta.

Everyone LOVES to hear me regale them with the updates from my daytime drama, DOOL. They also admire Mother's Hummel collection when they come over for the occasional glass of sherry.

Condi Rice is beautiful and sweet.

I’m not single because I’m a picky shallow bitch who shoots out of my league. I’m just unlucky.

We're having broasted lamb, braised asparagus tips and a fine red wine for din-din.

I never eat fast food or anything unhealthy. I still need Oazempic though.

I’ve never used a pencil to dial my Princess phone!

Just my grubby, well lubed fingers.

I'm not a fan of Vlado Kalember.

I'm well-travelled.

I've never had anal warts.

I'm Black, I went to NYU, I'm bisexual, I work for a Fortune 500 corporation, Beyonce is Queen.

I'm a lifelong Democrat, BUT...

trans is the same..

The hubby just got a job offer in [shitty city]. Any informatia on the place?

I am friends with stylists who work with the BIG names in orthotics, vaginal rejuvenation, club feet, and animal dentistry and they all share inside scoops on all your favorite celebrities.

I personally know of an entire family that were all attacked and murdered by their PET PIT BULL!!!

All Dataloungers are racist Klan Grannies and MAGA Trump supporters

I have a 14 inch penis that's 10 inches in girth.

When I shoot cum, I can fill a small village with my load!

I donate big, floppy hats to ugly people!

"Both sides" are the same 😠

I'm not racist, but... 🙄

I’m from North

[Fill in the blank] is gay, not straight.

I LOVE the Broadway shows "FOLLIES" and "COMPANY." When I listen to the cast albums, I am transported to another world!!!

They make me believe in Humanity.

Every guy I’ve ever had sex with was hot and masc. Gay men are hard to please sexually and won’t just sleep with any ugly guy or diseased guy if they’re horny.

Unlike straight men gay men have STANDARDS.

I only sleep with straight men! They retain their heterosexuality despite pushing into my gaping maw with their hot breeder dick, filling me with cum as I whimper and use my caftan to wipe the sweat from my brow!

Straight, I say, straight!

I hate blue.

I have a 10 inch penis.

I eat dirt...

(I'm actually 300lbs and love cheeseburgers)

[quote] Everyone LOVES to hear me regale them with the updates from my daytime drama, DOOL.

DOOL?

I’m pretending that I know who Vivian Vance is and that I worship the ground upon which she must’ve walked.

I would have slapped Jada instead. Oh wait that’s the truth.

I'm 46 and have NEVER had skid marked underwear. That's because I ALWAYS eat a balanced diet that makes clean up after talking a dump a snap.

I’m 7 feet tall, 120 lbs and own various properties in Monaco.

I saw JFK, Jr. naked.

I'm not a Travel Agent.

I went to an Ivy League college.

Every time I go to the bathhouse at least one guy calls my penis beautiful.

Store bought spaghetti sauce?

Store bought mayonnaise?

Well, I nevah! It's homemade or nothing atall!

I never order in! How ridiculous and lazy do you have to be? I make all my meals at home--every day!

My bread has never been stored in the refrigerator

I’m just an extraordinary cook

Martha Stewart calls me at odd hours to ask how to pronounce French words.

Furthermore, my diapers were always immaculate My mother simply scooped out the shit, just like a cat's litter, and reused the diaper.

The cast of Heartstopper are simply gorgeous and will definitely have great careers as A-List stars.

I once had a friend...

I’m the announcement of a weekend jaunt to Madrid or Vienna. I most certainly do not include requests for tips and tricks. I invented them!

My porn star friends tell me the craziest stories.

"I'm posting this video of an attractive looking ambiguously aged teenage boy from Tiktok because its funny not for any other reason"

The Data Lounge is an amazingly supportive community, one that rewards users with great comfort and joy.

Joel is just the neighbor kid who I let play with my dog because he has no friends and is ugly as sin

I'm not at all attracted to Jon Hamm. He's such a loser!

"I just saw [classic movie] for the first time"

I wear a Size 30 waist.

[quote]I'm retiring at 40 with $5 million in the bank.

I'm retiring at 5 with $40 million in the bank.

I never walk funny as passive aggression toward my girlfriend after a fight

Lady G cares about the people!

I only lie in real life

NYC is a shithole. I lived there for many years but now I have a fabulous house (in New Jersey) and my life is so much better.

Whenever Bette complains about her weight, I tell her to push away from the table, go to the bathroom, and do a line.

I weigh the same as I did in high school/college/when I was 30/40.

To paraphrase the late Mary McCarthy speaking of the late Lillian Hellman: Every word on The Data Lounge is a lie - including the words "and" and "but".

"And"and "the" is what McCarthy actually said, R62.

I have a ten inch penis.

I have a twenty-inch penis.

[quote]"And"and "the" is what McCarthy actually said

Whereupon she got sued by ubercunt Lilian Hellman - a suit Mary barely had the money to contest.

Yes, and then McCarthy had a guardian angel rich sponsor who aided in her lawsuit, Hellman was revealed to, in fact, be a liar, Hellman dropped dead, and the lawsuit was dismissed. End of story.

Hellman's lawsuit turned out to be a prototype of the Streisand Effect. Her reputation never recovered.

Rule of thumb: if it can actually be proven you've lied about something, don't sue them for calling you a liar.

Streisand's "reputation" was hardly affected by that lawsuit of hers. She just lost the lawsuit and had to pay up.

I worked for a very famous high profile powerful celebrity for several years. So I know how "these things" work and the lengths some people go to. I really can't say anymore because I can't afford to divulge what I know or you will immediately figure out who it is.

Oh, tell us some more. You are aware that you are posting anonymously.

Streisand only paid the defendant's legal fees (though they did amount to $177,000), Before the lawsuit, the aerial photo of Streisand's house had been seen by 4 or 5 people. After the lawsuit, it was seen by millions. The reference to reputation was Hellman's reputation, not Streisand's.

Yes, I'm aware of the outcome for Streisand and the history behind the lawsuit.

R30 - DOOL is Days of Our Lives. There are numerous threads here. Do you even go here?

Calm down, R75.

When _____(fill in the blank)___ used to hang out with us, backwhen they were just starting out, they were GAY!!! GAY! GAY!!!

My home is paid for, I have $2 million in retirement savings, $600k in investments and my husband has a $7500 monthly pension, we are both SS eligible...and I am worried that we will not be able to retire.

My pussy doesn’t stick

I'm YOUNG

HUNG

and

FULL OF CUM

I'm an authority on gay porn watch it every chance I get.

Where do I start?

R80 Given the demos here, I actually am.

Sure, Jan R83!

I have a husband.

I predict Barbra Striesand will be killed while "shopping" in her basement mall when a landslide takes her entire mansion. Miraculously her pets will be the only survivors.

I'm 58 years old and hot guys in the bathhouse cruise me.

I only top.

I do drain pasta, but I'm sorry.

I left home at 18 and became a successful entrepreneur. I just bought my first yacht.

(Typing from the basement. "MOOOOOOMMM, can you heat up another Hot Pocket for me?")

I've had sufficient because Gary talked me out of it.

I'm only interested in a guy's inner beauty.

@r79, "My pussy doesn’t stick"

Oh, the magic of Teflon panties

I am dark and handsome bitches

Most of our problems as an LGB community are due to fraus and not toxic straight males.

I’m a Baby Boomer, but my attitudes are way different. I love Z’s and Millennials. Gen X? Not so much. .

The people on the Heartstopper threads are normal and not creepy at all!

We’re a monogamous couple.

I have full time domestic help

I'm 50 years old and a good looking cashier at Trader Joe's was flirting with me the other day.

I have never stepped foot inside a Golden Corral buffet

My home is well organized and free of clutter.

My fashion sense reflects current styles

I would never spend any money on joining Only Fans

Wilton Manors is the best place to live! Everybody here is friendly and inclusive! Income does not matter! Race does not matter! Looks do not matter!

My bathroom and kitchen are both spotless! I can entertain guests at the tip of a hat unexpectedly and not be embarrassed.

I buy all my groceries at trader Joe's and whole foods!

R101- I buy all of my food at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods plus Hmart and a health food store but I don't have good looking Trader Joe's cashiers flirting with my 58 year old self.

I was at the gym...

in 1977

I've never understood the appeal of telling lies online. Do people really get a dopamine rush from it? I would just be thinking that I know it isn't true and it would be empty.

I don’t tell lies on DL.

Why can't you just tell us who you're talking about? After all, you're ANONYMOUS!

I've never had a DWI.

I skipped my prom because they wouldn't allow gays.

I never pay for porn.

I've never given anyone shit-dick.

I never eat anything out of the microwave.

I've never eaten an entire jumbo sized bag of Doritos on the ride home from the supermarket.

Janice is better than Madonna.

I’m a gay man who just doesn’t like trans!

r110 Who the hell is Janice?

Some people use their online opportunities as an escape from real life. In a lot of ways their fabrications are fantasies not lies...even though they are not true. It's like having a split personality. Online you are one way, and in real life you're another.

For the last time, I’m [italic]big boned!

I've never watched a single episode of The Golden Girls.

That the only reason people over 50 would look old is if they are chronic drinkers or drug users.

I’ve never been harassed by homophobic straight guys, only homophobic gay guys that secretly want to fuck me.

I know everything about Broadway because I read the theatre gossip threads on Data lounge.

My only dream as a gay man in 2024 is to be one of the mid-century women who lived in the New York suburbs and whose husbands worked in Manhattan. Because they are the only people who knew style, fashion, hosting, and set the taste level for the country. But let's not mention the racism, classism, sexism, and homophobia.

r119=Mrs. Chasten Buttigieg

Lesbians are nice, balanced people.

R112 Janice from The Muppets.

I'm a woke black woman but I'm voting for Donald Trump

It's trans and non-binary people who are the REAL homophobes, not conservatives, religious fanatics, and straight male bullies who think beating up on gays makes them "macho"

^^ haha

Along with “I am so concerned about fairness in women’s sports, and the trans threaten that” … because gay men are SO invested in women - let alone women’s sports - in general!

R121- Especially lesbian celebrities like

Rosie O’ Lesbo

and

Ellen Degenerate

R126 Nobody claims that of them though.

I live in downtown Manhattan, not Newark at all

I am sophisticated and pithy because I am not Kevin Sessums, but provide color commentary on his every move.

I live a drug-free life and I don’t have a chemistry set of psych meds and muscle relaxers in my medicine cabinet and I don’t accept spare drugs from friends, family, and house cleaners.

I've never experienced a bad cruise nor have I ever caught a bug onboard.

I'm exactly the same weight I was when I was 16.

I am a well adjusted, happy, no addictions, financially secure, in a loving relationship, residing in a tastefully decorated home that I own free and clear, still attractive to men 20 to 30 years my junior, very physically fit, have many friends of diverse backgrounds, I am loved by all that meet me including animals, my family and extended family are close and supportive of me. I never watch porn or engage in casual sex, I am potent without the need for pharmaceutical intervention, and I never use social media.

I’ve never slapped someone’s face viciously. That would be mean

My favorite posts are the ones when some queen claims it's not only possible but simple to feed oneself a full weeks worth of nutritious savory and easy to prepare meals on a grocery budget of $40.

"I worked with her on a movie"

My partner's father - who he couldn't stand - died and left him several million dollars."

*( " )

R135 It's easy to lose weight when all you ever eat is ASS

I subsisted on chicken pie and walnuts for six months and lost 52 pounds.

Eating ass is perfectly hygienic

R141 And doesn't cost a cent!

“When I lived in Europe….” Reality was a coach tour of 5 countries in 7 days in 1978.

I'm a fisting bottom and my asshole is tighter than a cat's ass!

Nikki Haley and Condi Rice are so pretty

Not without My Daughter!

I'm 55 and have a 32-inch waist! I routinely am told that I look like I'm 35.

Matt Damon was nice to me and flirted with me in a Cambridge bar

I shop at Bi-Mart

There was no greater game show host than Bert Convy.

I got what might be one of the last pensions--nobody can get them now, but I was able to, everything was timed so perfectly for me, so now I'll be retiring to my now-paid off house in Palm Springs, probably in the next 1-2 years.

Does anyone here live in PS?

My pussy stinks.