My boyfriend broke up with me because I told him he smells like ass

Scat- adjacent -6/10, OP.

Did you throw out the gaming chair or bury your face into it? Or both?

I can't speak for everybody but I consider hygiene to be very important if you are in a relationship. If you don't respect your partner enough to be clean and unstinky, then you don't deserve that relationship . Skipping a day or two at the most may be okay if you are clean and relatively order free. But if your boyfriend can smell your stinky ass from far away, and you don't give a damn, then good riddance. Remember he broke up over a criticism that he should be embarrassed about, rather than challenge you and break up. I would not recommend taking him back.

OP, this needed either more humour or more scat, but doesn't quite work in its current form. It's just sort of... there.

At least he didn't fling his shit at you.

What were you watching on Netflix?

Donald Trump's your boyfriend?

A side porch!

Well, aren't you fancy trash!

Were you watching Lawrence of Arabia on your iPad?

Sometimes trash takes itself out.

[quote]He grabbed his game

This part makes it sound like bullshit.

There's no grabbing a game and storming out, like it's a pocket football device from the early 80s. It would take a while to unhook the gaming console from the speakers and TV and get the assorted gear together.

R11 his game controller

Good riddance to bad ass.

You make up stupid stories, OP. Creative writing clearly is not your thing.

Nice copy and paste from Reddit, OP.

I found OP’s story quite moving. It reminds me of Annie Proulx’s original Brokeback Mountain story which also featured ass smell.

YTA.

Nobody's got no class!

They went off in Jack’s truck, bought a bottle of whiskey, and within twenty minutes were in the Motel Siesta jouncing a bed. A few handfuls of hail rattled against the window, followed by rain and a slippery wind banging the unsecured door of the next room then and through the night.

The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap. Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent; Jack blew forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts, and said, “Christ, it got to be all that time a yours a-horseback makes it so goddam good. We got to talk about this. Swear to God I didn’t know we was goin a get into this again—yeah, I did. Why I’m here. I fuckin knew it. Red-lined all the way, couldn’t get here fast enough.”

I told my boyfriend he smelled like shit and he punched me. I then got out my club weapon from under my bed and hit him in the skull with it. He took off out the door and walked who knows where. Packed up his shit in 2 large garbage bags and threw it out into the yard. See ya, asshole!

Btw. My weapon is an old wooden couch leg with a 4” screw on top of it. It is a club.

OP = The Duchess of Sussex in 2016

Gaming boyfriend with questionable hygiene? Nope. Raise your standards, doll. And watch your back.

If I wanted my house to smell like ass, I’d get a cat.

Wait—I have a cat . . . Hmmm

This thread is so classy I feel underdressed.

Get a job!

[quote] . I had my handy man change the locks

You gave him a key to your place? Dumb.

Is your BF Majorie Taylor Greene?

He had a smelly ass but he couldn't stay forever.

Lmao r28

What game, OP? Was it Baldur's Gate 3?

That may influence my opinion. LOL

He still needs to get up from the couch to be a human and wash stankass.

Ex contact verficatia, OP?

Swamp-ass is what we used to call it after marching band practice down in Mississippi

OP are you the poster who was complaining about their boyfriend’s ass smelling like fish sauce?

Oh, OP, you do like to borrow.

Come on OP, you are competing with today's actual news, if neither of you cut the other one's head off and made a YouTube video about it, then it isn't competing with the actual news

In all seriousness, I find this story abhorrent.

In all seriousness, you are irrelevant.

In all seriousness, we're all irrelevan.

Nothing like the smell of ripe ass cheese to ruin a relationship. Not to mention the bros at work who stand up in a crowded conference room, sending off waves of ripe cheese smell. Is it so hard to wash one's ass?

Did you wash his undercrackers for him?

This is the kind of DL post that I enjoy!

Present the couch cushion as evidence, OP. We need smell-o-vision.

RACI$T LE$BIAN TROLL ALERT!

Troll

OP is creative!!!!!

😂😂😂

Tell him you'll let him come back if he learns to shower 🚿 everyday and game less.

Assuming this is real, I don't, doesn't anyone know how to avoid conflicts anymore. You want your boyfriend to shower you don't insult him, you invite him for a sexy shower.

What else did you have your handy man do?

You're clearly the bottom in the relationship, and as such it's up to you to have YOUR ass clean and sparkling at all times. He's the top, he doesn't have to worry about such things. Now go douche.

Get real R46, who the fuck wants to take a sexy shower with someone who has a stinky ass?

The other unattractive trait is that the guy games all the time.

BO is only a symptom of deeper issues with the OP’s fictional but realistic character.

For you, OP

OP probably has the freshest Fleeted fannie from Florida to Frisco. I believe you and believe IN you OP ❤️

0/10

At least it wasn’t urine.

Why does ass smell like cheese?

[quote] In all seriousness, you are irrelevant.

In your opinion.

[quote]Where Did the Definition of 'Tact' Come From?

Obligatory not OP.

Tact is netiher necessary nor desirable when dealing withs someone who thinks that bathing on some nebulous "other day" is sufficient.

The ONLY acceptable answer during the normal course of events (of course, there are certain situations, like camping, where bathing may not occur as frequently) is "I bathed last night" or "I bathed this morning."

No exceptions.

OP: Do you have sex together? Do you sleep together?

Do you have a house or an apartment? I thought the latter until you mentioned a side porch.

Now I just think you’re full of shit. Like your ex-boyfriend’s ass.

Side porch = the carport, one of those plastic things.

OP, did you meet your stanky-ass boyfriend when he asked to share meth in your car?

Did he ever beat you for not paying the cable bill?

Did you ever promise him a later model Toyota if he stayed in the relationship?

I only ask because the story changes, but the song seems to stay the same.

First I was afraid, I was petrified,

Just thinking I could never live without you by my side.

—OP

EDIT:

Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.

I thought little homosexual boys liked the smell of ass.

Not even your best friends will tell you.

I had to block him on my phone. I hope he finally showered.

Errthang you own in a box to da left.

Remember Dolly and Shelby!!

That isn’t why he broke up with you, OP. That was what’s known as a “last straw.”

what about golden showers?

You stated your boundaries OP. Fierce!

Smelled like shit!

Guess what! He’s like a fart that lingers. He just texted me asking how I’m doing. Ugh!

Was it a scratch and sniff text?

Gamers are the saddest, fattest people in all of humanity

Does he have a big dick?

Yes r79 but his hygiene sucks

Your ex sounds so hot. Like my smelly down low bi ex. You should have been grateful having someone like that who plays games all the time. You should take him back.

No. Thx I’m not hard up

Wait until your next hookup has garlic breath.

I’d abandon ship

It doesn’t take much to press my OFF button.

Mmmh OP strange... I think I know now why he didn't want to shower anymore. It could also explain the ass smell. Warning NSFW but allowed on Elon's X: