Let’s Be “9 to 5”

I'm a box of Skinny 'n' Sweet☠

I'm Doralee's gun.

I'm the Xerox room.

I'm the single joint that passes for an old fashioned ladies pot party.

I'm Judy Bernly's home perm kit.

I’m Roz’s beret.

While I am ubiquitous in any office now, it's hard to believe that not a single desk in that entire office has one of me on it.

I'm "Atta girl!"

I’m a special locker for the hat.

I’m shooting a hole clean through my purse!

I'm Franklin Hart's aftershave, "Stud."

I’m Franklin Hart/ Dabney Coleman’s hot ass that this poster wants to bury his face in.

We are the wranglers Dolly would hire to beat the shit out of Dabney Coleman.

I'm Missy, believing Frank's outrageous S&M hostage gear is part of some crazy fad diet.

I’m Violet Newsted’s red lightning bolt cumberbund.

I’m Lily’s Asian-themed smock.

I’m the odd number of players who end up making appearances on “The Golden Girls”.

I'm Dolly Parton telling the story of writing the theme for 9 to 5 using her fingernails. FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME.

I'm the horrible TV spinoff.

I'm Maria, I wanted to spend more time with my kids anyway

I’m a woman. Or a wouse.

I’m the unseen flask in Margaret Foster’s purse.

I'm Doralee's coat belt hanging out of the car door.

I'm the woefully underrated Marian Mercer.

R24 she was great in comedy roles.

R25 , her learning French on the airplane is one of my favorite parts. Not many could make that part funny.

I’m that M&M stuff.

Elizabeth Wilson as Roz learned French on the plane.

I’m another stiff in the John!

I’m the box of Rid-O-Rat.

I'm Jane Fonda taking credit for the whole thing.

I'm the short in the trunk.

I’m Lily’s discomfort with any heterosexual contact, evident quickly when the garage door closes and she pulls away from her son with discomfort.

I'm a doctor? Then why am I talking to you? Piss off!

I’m the coffee that splashes on that impossibly dumb woman’s toes/shoes when she looks at her watch during the opening credits.

I’m Violet’s mother who doesn’t understand moderation.

I’m Violet’s pink chenille bathrobe.

I'm Franklin Hart's nice package and I might as well show it off.

I'm Doralee's torpedo tits!

I’m the ring what carries the poison.

I’m the insanely complex-looking photocopier.

I'm the original script written by Patricia Resnick, which had the boss die. Colin Higgins worked on the less dark rewrite.

I’m Florence Henderson’s daughter Barbara as the candy striper. Piss off!!!

I'm all the stuff on Mr. Hart's desk that he knocks over so he can stare at Doralee's massive cleavage.

I'm the after work drink at Charley's, the bar across the street.

I’m the bastard at the family reunion.

I’m

F ART

I’m the operator. A nice lady just said “Good morning” to me.

I'm Violet's 1970s Rest-a-Phone, propped up on one bony shoulder. Mr. Hart wants all his gals to be ergonomically comfortable when they're answering phones and taking dictation all day.

I'm Margaret Foster, the old lush!

I'm the end-of-disco/80s era plants (pothos! spiders!) office ware with silver desktop items, white desks, yellow and orange accent colors and modern "open" floor plan that the office gets converted to with the gals in charge.

I'm that equal pay thing. That's got to go. It's okay as an incentive, but we don't need to keep priming the pump!

I'm Russell Tinsworthy, Chairman of the Board!

I’m bonjour, BONjour… BONJOUR!

I’m HOLY MERDE!!

I’m Consolidated Companies… nobody ever mentions what business, exactly, we’re in.

R25- A bit off topic but I remember my mother saying that about Cloris Leachman. My mother thought she was awful on television but great in comedic roles in movies like High Anxiety as Nurse Diesel.

I'm the hold and line buttons on Violet's 1A2 key phone, that she masters so well.

I’m the cartoon out of nowhere.

I’m the peanut butter and banana sandwich violets kids are fighting over.

r43 blew my mind! How did I never know that?!

I’m the Aspen Language Center.

I’m net 30 via Dixie Express.

R61, I simply LIVE to blow people’s minds!

R63 Net 30 billing makes Violet twirl in her chair

I'm 2% of $4405.50, $88.11.

Colin Higgins was such a profound loss to cinema. He directed two of my all-time favorite comfort movies, 9 to 5 and Foul Play. I also loved what he did with the Shirley MacLaine TV miniseries Out on a Limb.

I’m Lily Tomlin’s character’s exquisite Asian-styled suit jackets, all ostensibly purchased from the Boston Filenes store’s 1980 “The Orient Expressed” themed shopping event.

I’m Maria Delgado FUCK ROZ!

I’m Liza, waiting in the car.

I'm Sally Struthers, replacing that nasty cunt Rita Moreno in the 80s sitcom adaptation.

I’m the surviving deleted scenes and blooper reel. A small miracle for a film of this era.

I'm the box of Rid-A-Rat, often mistaken for a box of Skinny-n-Sweet, which i resemble, minus the little skull and crossbones.

I’m a tree, I can bend!

I’m Dick. Judy has been missing me for months!

I'm Harry. I died and left Violet in charge of our four kids!

I’m the eyes, ears, nose and throat of Mr. Hart. Anything I hear, he hears.

I'm Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. I've got the Judy Bernley look down pat, wig and giant glasses.

I’m the toilet paper Roz used to write notes while eavesdropping on Violet, Judy, and Doralee in the ladies room.

I'm Roz' memo. Violet tore right through me.

I'm Big Changes: job sharing, rehab, and workplace childcare. Why waste time on Little Changes like putting a fucking personalized mug on your desk?

I’m still on hold waiting to speak to Violet Newstead.

I’m a hen. I was changed from a rooster in ONE shot!

I'm the computer changeover. Because of me, Hart will have to be kept tied up for another four to six weeks until the Ajax invoices can be sent.

I'm Maui Wowie, of the old-fashioned ladies' pot party.

I’m the stuff in the John.

I’m the stiff in the John.

I’m a murderess!

I’m Jimmy Hoffa. They never found me.

I'm killing the boss. You think they're not going to fire me for a thing like that?

I’m M&Ms!

I’m the cigar burning in the ashtray. I’ll fool everyone into thinking they “just missed” Mr. Hart.

Violet, honey, would you come over here for a second?

I’m a restaurant!? How can you think of food at a time like this!?

I'm Violet's lesbian lover/roomie who remains off camera for the entire film.

I’m the flask for “medicinal” purposes.

I'm Dabney Coleman's big balls and nice ass.

I’m just a Backwoods Barbie, too much makeup, too much hair…

I’m Dabney. I was everywhere in Hollywood and then nowhere

I'm Judy's sad apartment near the airport.

I'm Florence Henderson's daughter, the poor candy striper Violet tells to "piss off."

I’m Dwayne, Doralee’s compassionate (and hot as hell) husband. Just look at that muscular back of mine when I was sleeping. You know I made that girl feel good in bed every night.

I'm Roz's memo that Violet knows just where to stick.

I'm Dolly's gigantic tits that somehow seem even more gigantic in the scene where she and Lily go to the Ajax warehouse.

I’m the backups for Lily and Dolly: Carol Burnett and Ann-Margret.

I'm the white doctor's lab coat that could also make a cop think the person wearing me is a beautician.

I'm Bob Enright. For Christ's sake, Violet trained me!

I'm Sterling Hayden a hot MF.

I’m the cutest little Italian restaurant.

I'm Brazil, the last line in the movie and not exactly punishment place for a rich, rapey, white guy.

^his last line

I'm Lily's Snow White costume that they obviously had some intern run to Woolworth's to buy just hours before the scene was shot.

I’m the dreary 70s decor and costumes.

I’m the idiot just now realizing 44 years later that Marian Mercer and Dabney Coleman also played a married couple in Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

I am Colin Higgins who also directed The Best Little Hosue In Texas and later succumbed to AIDS.

.

I am screenwriter Patricia Reznik an open lesbian.

I am Dolly streaking at Tom Jones house after jumping out of a limo also containing Jane and Lily after a night out during the making.of the movie.

I am Dollys cowgirl costume owned by Dolly because early on she had it written in her contract all becomes hers.

I’m Missy Hart’s grasshopper hat.

I'm Judy's ex-husband's girlfriend sitting in the car outside Judy's apartment. I look suspiciously like Judy's co-worker, Maria Delgado, who wanted to spend more time with her kids, anyway, and who promised herself she wouldn't cry.

I’m Violet’s light blue Buick Skylark.

I’m sympathetic, Norman, but please! Why do I have to be the one to train her? Can’t she work in someone else’s section?

I'm the environmental service worker who just found another stiff in the john.

Vera, we’ve got LOTS of stiffs in the John on this thread!

I’m the hot cop that pulls the ladies over.

I'm Vera, obviously the last to be hired. She has to deal with the stiffs found in the john.

I often get a stiff on the john.

I’m the contrivance of artificial sweetener and rat poison having near-identical packaging.

R128 It happens. So many idiots have died needlessly.

I'm Doralee's diet, completely wrecked by the ribs consumed at the Ladies Old Fashioned Pot Party!

I’m the scarf, paying Doralee for services rendered.

I'm Violet's 15 year old son, turning his mom on to weed while on his way to audition Nova film..

I’m David Price as Josh Newstead. I also played Christina’s boyfriend Tony in “Mommie Dearest”.

^^^^ Well, then apparently his characters know where to find the pot and the sluts.

R134 😂

R134 You win the internet today.. i bow.

I’m the Western Electric speaker box on Mr. Hart’s desk.

Good morning, angels!

I’m Roz Keith’s pageboy hairstyle.

I'm a training film on why women ruin the workplace.

I’m intimidated by any woman who won’t sit at the back of the bus.

I’m Eddie in the mailroom and lady you’re going to hate it here!

I’m 4 months on some Dago boat

I’m Missy Hart’s updo.

I’m bondage, S&M, sex games.

Literally.

I'm the short in the trunk.

I'm savvy.

Savvy?

I’m blasting a wart off the nose of humanity.

I’m the Ajax Warehouse since 1924.

I'm Missy Hart admiring Doralee's scarf that Mr. Hart told Doralee to buy for Missy but Mr. Hart gave to Doralee instead.

I’m the guy stalking Mr. Hart, taking notes and reporting back to Mr. Tinsworthy.

A few years later I left consolidated, moved to Raytown and became a reverend.

I'm Missy Hart's voice

I am Jane Fonda who cannot talk about Dolly Parton without mentioning her tits.

I'm the new beige lockers that look way better than the old grey lockers because it was a very brown time in décor.

I’m Jane Fonda shouting during the DVD commentary like she’s on her cellphone in a noisy mall.

I'm Marian Mercer. I played Missy Hart, but you homos probably know me from playing Dorothy's butch Soviet cousin, Magda, from The Golden Girls.

Poor r155, you went from being a posh Bel Air wife to a hostess at Above the Top restaurant in downtown LA.

[quote] I'm Missy Hart admiring Doralee's scarf that Mr. Hart told Doralee to buy for Missy but Mr. Hart gave to Doralee instead.

R149 Mr. Hart asked Violet to buy the scarf, not Doralee. Violet initially protested, stating that such duties are not listed in her job description. Mr. Hart snapped back at Violet and she agreed to buy the scarf. Later, Violet saw Doralee wearing the scarf, after having been told by Hart it was intended for Missy.

I’m Missy Hart’s Louis Vuitton duffle bag.

I’m Judy’s Rolodex falling apart.

I’m Judy being overwhelmed by the Xerox machine showering the room with copies. Weren’t you checked out on this equipment? Well you better be, or your first day will also be your last!!

I’m Violet stupidly leaving Judy alone with the Xerox machine before the printing’s even begun.

I'm the Xerox machine. SEVERAL PEOPLE HAVE LOST THEIR HEARING USING ME!

(Caps to emphasize Violet's shouting over the Xerox' loud hum.)

I'm Violet's butterfly belt.

I'm Violet's red ball earrings and matching lipstick.

I'm harm springs from excess.

I'm the deleted scenes featuring Violet sharing her lunch table with a catty young copy boy named Lance. He's her workplace son, and also such a sweet-faced boy. They trade jokes about Doralee's rack and Roz's minimal personal life, but Violet sure wishes he'd stop going to those cowboy bars after work.

Maybe 1981 will be the year Lance settles down, and quits all this anonymous gay sex business!

I'm Bob Enright's precious useless college degree.

I’m bonjour….bonjour….

I am the movie starring 3 queer wimab

women

R167 I'm the proto-Boomer workplace indignation that, yes, a college degree really DOES matter if you want to climb the ladder into corporate management. Violet Newstead's advanced training in the School of Hard Knocks simply doesn't cut it in a globalized marketplace.

I'm Bajour, Ba-JOUR, BA-jour.

Speaking of Doralee's substantial chest (ok, tits), I am Judy looking down at her average (ok, smaller than average) chest!

I’m not your wife, or your mother…or even your mistress!

I'm Bob Enright's family he has to support.

I'm Mr. Hart's lovely manse, also making guest appearances in Murder, She Wrote and The Rockford Files.

I’m needing a drink, Roz! I’m takin’ the rest of the day off!

R177 And you'll be enjoying that drink at CHARLIE'S!!

I’m the dried lettuce leaves that doubled as marijuana.

It's primo. Maui Wowie.

I'm the 55-year-old office bottom. Boy am I mean!

I’m these olives! Everything tastes so wonderful, they can’t get over it!

I'm Lawrence Pressman, who played Dick Bernly, Judy's former husband. My whole career was practically spent playing ex-husbands. I was even divorced from DL fave Linda Lavin in a TV movie!

I'm the mail cart.

I’m the Xerox operator who finally gave Judy the Big O.

I think it started with those delicious Olives, r185.

I'm the sneakers.

I'm Dora Lee's burly country western husband making ribs before he goes on tour.

I’m the fat teenagers Doralee’s husband is surely fucking while he’s “on tour.”

I’m an office that looks efficient, therefore I am efficient.

R190 … as Mr. Hart says.

I'm Margaret's flask...for medicinal purposes.

I'm Margaret's purse on top of her desk.

Please, Margaret, Roz is on Violet's case!

I'm Roz hiding in the bathroom stall, writing everything down on her pad with gleeful excitement.

I thought Roz was writing on toilet paper...later in the movie she reports her "notes were a little fuzzy."

When you're right you're right. Roz is truly gross, but wouldn't write on her Kotex.

R196 In no small part because Roz was already well into menopause and no longer had any need for Kotex.

I’m Violet laughing at her own joke about Hart buying up all the magazine copies showing him bedding a prostitute and sending them out as Christmas cards.

I'm the wrangler Dora Lee wants to hire to beat the shit out of Hart.

I’m the account book for Ajax Warehouse the girls find at the exact moment they’d given up hope.

I'm M&Ms! Judy does me!

I'm Maria Delgado's kids. It was a totally fucking drag when she was let go and then "spent more time" with us. Please! She was getting boned by the UPS dude every afternoon while we were trying to watch Electric Company.

I’m a pretty…happy bunch!

I'm the weekend daisy chains with Jane, Lily, and Dolly

I’m an era when you could smoke in bathrooms.

I'm sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical bigot Mr Hart moving into a safer line of work with the police department, where I had the greatest ever police car chase

I’m Dolly’s musical. Does anyone remember me?

I’m F-Hart.

R207 Didn't Allison Janney almost win a Tony from you?

I'm the cup of ambition!

I’m the blood that starts pumpin’ when I jump in the shower.

I'm that Dago boat. You're gonna spend four weeks on me.

I’m the gun that can change a rooster to a hen with one shot.

I'm the Roz in your own office

I’m the poison holding ring.

I'm downtown San Francisco, not downtown Los Angeles, where the opening credit scenes are filmed.

I'm the office worker with no legs who Violet obviously brought on board as a DEI hire before DEI was a thing.

I'm the pocket gay orderly. He knows you're here!