Recipe Dealbreakers

I don't have any wine in the house.

I agree with candy thermometer and piping bag, and will add springform pan.

Anything deep fried. I’m petrified of a pot or saucepan full of boiling hot oil.

I don’t know how to knead so making bread or any kneaded item is out.

Going back to recipes real quick, I won’t use canned cream of anything.

pussy

"stirring constantly"

Nope.

Bread machines/makers are the bomb for kneading and rising. I have 2 for this very purpose. Love them!

More than five ingredients.

Great thread. Agree with the ones mentioned. Adding, spatchcocking, egg poaching, pasta making, stock making and meat grinding.

Instructions to grate butter or tomatoes. I'm looking at you, NYT Cooking Section.

Anything calling for a mortar and pestle.

I've owned a marble mortar and pestle for ages. Handy for all kinds of things, including grinding up aspirin for aspirin facial masks.

10 replies in and no one has said folding something in and signed it Moira nor David

I'm impressed.

I don't like recipes that have too many steps.

Anything where I have to roll something with one of those broomhandle style rolling pins for pasta and phyllo.

That’s where I draw the line.

Double boiler

Nothing, really. I'm pretty intrepid when I want to make something. I can't say I've had a high success rate, though.

After years of cooking, I now have really good (if slow-ish) knife skills.

I spatchcocked a turkey one year. It was sort of hard to do but mostly because I didn’t have the knife as sharp as it should have been plus I did use some kitchen shears but ended up cutting myself instead 😝

I’ve ground up meat as well with my stand mixer. I have the attachment for it, too. Not too difficult. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve never made pasta in my life.

It stops at the ingredients. If I have to make more than two substitutions, I know it’s going to be garbage. I have lied to myself too many times, “This could turn out better” No, it won’t.

[quote]I’ve never made pasta in my life.

Pasta is easy-peasy, r16.

But it goes back to kneading, R18.

Besides, I’ve been avoiding pasta like the plague since I’m supposed to be watching my sugars.

Rice and potatoes, too.

Add me to the frying group.

It's messy, it stinks, it's unhealthy and I don't know what to do with the grease afterwards.

Any recipe that starts out: "On the first day, . . . "

Anything that requires a series of steps all day, and long-cooking processes that need to be frequently checked on and monitored. Exceptions are special celebrations, like a gathering with friends where everyone prepares snacks and a meal together throughout the day (i.e., holiday gatherings.) Another exception is when I want to experiment with making a complex and new recipe as an adventure for myself and a partner or friend.

[quote]But it goes back to kneading, [R18].

Not much, r19, it isn't like bread.

Anything certified by Grog as easy and delicious.

Pasta is so easy you don't even really have to use a pasta making machine. The only exertion required after you've mixed everything together, is rolling out the dough reasonably thin.

I stopped making my own pie crusts years ago. It takes too much time and they aren't that much better than store bought. It cuts your prep time in half when making a pie.

I’ve made beef Wellington before for a Christmas dinner and there were several steps involved which took pretty much the whole day.

It was the best piece of beef I’ve ever made. It was delicious.

It looked wonky as hell because I used too much puff pastry but it was oh so good.

Yes, exactly R20, what the hell are we supposed to do with all that leftover oil?

1. Deep frying. Mostly for the reason R20 stated. What do you do with the oil afterwards.

2. Anything that you have to char in your oven and then cool and then peel etc.

3. Kneading. I just don't have the counter space to do that.

4. Anything requiring a "pinch" of some exotic ingredient that I don't have. I'm not going to buy it just for the one "pinch".

5. Any recipe that's going to involve dirtying up more than 3 pans/bowls.

Fromunda Cheese pull.

I make bread that requires kneading, but I usually do it in the very large mixing bowl that I’ve used to proof the yeast and mixed it up with flour et cetera, by hand. No stand mixer necessary. A mortar and pestle is essential for breaking up whole spices and takes up little space. I’m generally turned off by any recipe that has more than 11 ingredients.

A weed grinder can be used in a pinch for mortar and pestle

I enjoy doing a lot of these, but definitely do workarounds. I fry things outside with either a deep fat fryer or an induction burner. Cleaning grease off stainless steel is almost as bad as the lingering smell of oil.

Agreed on making pasta and yeasted breads. I just don't have the counter space in my small kitchen, and the flour gets everywhere and is a mess to clean up. I am also not oiling the counter to make something. I do not own enough Windex to clean it off after. (Plus, I do not need to have pasta and bread around. Plus plus, dried pasta is perfectly fine to me, and I live in a city with excellent bread bakeries.)

I watch America's Test Kitchen and envy those food nerds their enormous amount of counter space. I also have to laugh at some of their recipes that involve a ridiculous amount of steps and/or fiddling (their recent, delicious-looking rye bread for one). And all those little glass bowls holding prepped ingredients and spices. Bitch, some of us do not own a dishwasher! (Shocking, I know, in this day and age.) Yes, I realize it's all for show and they have unseen interns to wash everything, but still.

No frying allowed inside my home. It splatters even on low heat and stinks

No fish preparation or cooking of fish in my home. It stinks.

Stearic acid, which is used in candle- and soap-making, solidifies cooking oil so you can throw it out.

I don't even like to sear or brown meat on the stovetop as it's a mess to clean up the stovetop after. Using a deep pot minimizes the splatter somewhere. Those fine-mesh screens you put over the frying pan? Don't work for shit.

Don’t use the splatter screens. Use Frywall or equivalent. They are silicone and splay out from the frypan, kind of like the cones they use to help dogs from picking at wounds. It looks ridiculous, but whatever. They also can go right in the dishwasher (sorry, OP).

Air fryers. Whatever happened to the good old pots and pans, stoves, and ovens we've been using for hundreds of years?

My dad lived alone for a time after his 2nd wife died. 8 yrs of him frying foods and “attempting” to clean his stove and prep areas afterwards convinced me to not fry in my new home.

R38, have you used one? They just do a better job making things crispy and delicious.

Air fryers are a pain and a chore to clean

No stand mixing

I guess I don't get it, r40; it seems like just another fad counter-top gadget that'll eventually go the way of the Foreman Grill and InstaPot.

I love the air fryer. I don't think it will go the way of the George Foreman grill.

I do have an Instant Pot and really liked it when it first came out. However, i haven't used it in at least 2 years.

I recently threw out my George Foreman grill. I hadn't used it in about 20 years and had forgotten I even owned it until I was cleaning out some kitchen cupboards. I think the only things I ever made on it were burgers and salmon.

I can't think of the last time I used my Kitchen Aid stand mixer, but I'm not giving it up. Like immersion blenders, when you need it you need it.

I've had my Kitchen Aid stand mixer since i was 19 and will never give it up. It's moved across the country with me 3 times. I use it several times a year.

I'm 55 now. And the mixers I've gifted to family members are not as good as the one I still have from all those years ago. They really got cheap with their manufacturing of the mixers you buy nowadays.

I do wish it was a pretty color than the white that it is. I'm not even sure there was a choice of colors back then. Oh well.

Cheesecloth = The End 😱

I bought my Kitchen Aid stand mixer at a Macy's January white sale (remember those?) 20-odd years ago and carried it home on public transit (a subway and a bus ride). Which nearly killed me, that thing is so heavy. (Macy's was nice enough to put some heavy-duty string and a handle on the box.)

On topic: I hate it when a roast chicken or turkey recipe says to leave the bird uncovered in the fridge overnight so the skin will dry and the meat will absorb the salt. Who has room for that in their fridge? Where am I supposed to put the food that's already in there? Will no one think of the Poors with only one, normal-sized refrigerator?!

Meat thermometers. Especially digital ones. Great way to overcook your meat. I don't care how lovingly you calibrated it. I don't care how expensive it was. For ages we got along just fine with time and temperature guidelines (always adding some time on for the meat to rest and continue cooking after removing it from the oven. Most meat thermometer users forget (if they ever even learn) this step and end up with a well done disaster.

r48 I did that last Thanksgiving for the first time ever (!) in the 45 years i've been cooking. I consider my to be a better than average cook (and a great baker as well) and had never heard of doing this.

That turkey came out SO good. Unbelievably good. I also took it out of the fridge for 3 hours before cooking as well. Goodbye, undercooked turkey. And it was juicy with crispy skin. I also rubbed salt into the skin as well. Delicious.

Any recipe ( I'm looking at you NYT- like someone else said) that requires some pain in the ASS to find spice or herb like fresh nutmeg.

Was interested in making a French baguette. Looked at Julia Child’s cookbook and saw it requires “tiles filled with water” and no thank you.

I love my ancient (1st gen) George Foreman grill, R43. It works a treat for cooking the perfect rare (and medium, the way the rest of my Philistine fam prefer) slab of salmon.

Apparently the newer ones are shit.

I'm not going out of the way to get fresh nutmeg. the stuff in the jar is fine by me, and I have done a lot of baking in my life.

For everyone else saying they aren't buying a bunch of some odd spice for just a pinch or little bit, they do have these smaller sizes of all kinds of spices. It's called Spicely, and I know Whole Foods carries them. I've seen them in other markets as well.

Penzeys spices for the win!

Penzey's are expensive. Spicely's cost is a bit more reasonable, IMO.

No ties

No busts

No booze

No needles

[quote]some pain in the ASS to find spice or herb like fresh nutmeg.

[quote]I'm not going out of the way to get fresh nutmeg. The stuff in the jar is fine by me.

Fresh nutmeg that you can grate into a dish is so much better than preground nutmeg in a jar. I mainly use it in things that involve eggs, cream, spinach, and/or Parmigiano-Reggiano. I just bought some new nutmegs. I'd give one to each of you, as I don't expect to live long enough to use all of them. Not something I'd want to live without, though.

Yeah, freshly grated nutmeg is no biggie. I have the tiny grater and a bottle of whole nutmeg nuts, or whatever they are.

They do last a long time.

You can dry brine a turkey and leave it in the fridge overnight. What I’ve don’t before is get a cooler and fit some of the things I have in my fridge and add some ice. Mostly the condiments and the salad dressings and pickles and such. It’s amazing how much space all that stuff takes up.

Fresh nutmeg is the best. Did you know it is supposed to make a person talkative? It’s great in cream of cauliflower soup and applesauce cake.

Making your own stock. The amount of work you have to do before you even start cooking the actual dish is ridiculous. Easier to buy.

[quote] And all those little glass bowls holding prepped ingredients and spices. Bitch, some of us do not own a dishwasher!

When you cook at home, you don't need to put your ingredients and spices into little glass bowls. Just spoon out of the jar.

The tiles are terra cotta to approximate a clay bread oven and they're soaked in water to give off steam, which hardens the bread crust. Since homestore tiles contain lead, I'd use a baking stone instead. There are also clay bread pans although not for baguettes.

Love how this thread devolved into "pain in the ass things I do to make a recipe."

My husband is a chef. He loves his equipment, and all I have to do is mention a recipe that calls for mortar and pestle or cannele molds and he hyperventilates. His stuff requires a separate storage room. I find it annoying until I get to eat.

R64, why does he hyperventilate if he has a separate storage room for his stuff? He can't find it amongst all his junk?

Ina Garten turned on to roasting everything in the oven and I haven't looked back since. I'm a big fan of sheet pan dinners, where you roast the protein and the veggies together on a sheet pan. It's easy, non-messy and tastes great.

The only things I cook on my cooktop now are Asian stir-fry and omelettes.

Agreed on fresh nutmeg. Buy one jar, the smallest one you can find, of nutmeg… nuts? and you’ll have them for life. My mom puts a scrape or two in the salad dressing she makes.

Do NOT put the nutmeg grater in that kitchen drawer with all the other rando bits of small equipment. It will find you and take the skin off your knuckles. Hang it on the wall or someplace safe.

Dump cakes, dump meals. Anything dump.

Well, okay. I have at least 40 spices in my spice racks but i've never done the fresh nutmeg thing before. I'm going to try it, thanks to the responses about how good it is and what a difference it makes

It’s not that hard to find. If your grocery store has a section with all of the “Indian spices” there are generally bags of whole nutmeg there for a much better price than if you go to a specialty shop.

Fresh nutmeg is not a big deal. It's a ball or a bead and you need that type of grater that people used to use for lemon peels, before Microplane graters became a culinary thing.

Mexican stores have them cheaper in cellophane baggies.

Fun fact: it’s called a megnut in its natural form.

No it is not. I would advise never searching for the term “megnut” and if you do, avoid all sites and blogs with “megnut” in the title.

Made ya look!

corn syrup

I don’t freeze bananas no matter how many smoothie recipes I read. If I have to start doing little things 12 hours in advance of being able to cook the rest of a recipe, it ain’t happenin’.

How hard is it to buy bananas that you mean to eat, but don't get to them until they're overripe, so you throw them in the freezer for banana bread or smoothies?

I buy my whole nutmeg (and all my other spices) from Penzeys, and I grate it on my Microplane grater.

I have never eaten a dish that i thought was delicious because the nutmeg was grated fresh. It's actually never come up or been mentioned. Ever. And I have eaten in high end restaurants in LA, SF, Boston, NY, Napa.

I have many spices and own a microplaner. I'm the person who bought Amchur for Chana Masala.

But again, I'm willing to buy whole nutmeg. However, i'd love for someone to name a recipe/dish that showcases how great and integral freshly-grated nutmeg is to its overall deliciosity.

I use it in various types of quiche, r80, especially one that has spinach. I've used it in making fettuccine Alfredo, too. Sometimes, I'll make a very simple angel hair with grated Parmigiano-Reggiano and butter. I'll grate a bit of nutmeg into that. Buttered green beans take nicely to a dusting of nutmeg as well as S&P. Balsamic and brown sugar glazed carrots.

"Let refrigerate for at least 12 hours" is an auspicious start to abandon a recipe before reading the next step.

Cheesecloth (another vote contra)

Crockpot (has the NYT again mistaken me for a harried Midwestern mother with a self-harm haircut and a crockpot?)

Garlic press

"Add the previously clarified butter..."

Cans of cream of mushroom soup.

I don't like washing leafy green vegetables, including fresh spinach. I also don't have and don't want one of those salad spinners.

The Palm Restaurant's Creamed Spinach

I'm NOT getting a salad spinner!

i'll just wash my leafy greens in the sink, shake it out and let it air dry. the old fashioned way. i don't need a gadget for that.

However, i would feel naked without a crockpot, and even though we didn't have one when i was growing up (late 60's to late 80's), it's still been a staple in my kitchen for decades. i use it for stews and casseroles occasionally, apple butter, other one-dish meals. It's handy. it keeps things warm and the ceramic insert can be used in the oven as well.

I also use freshly grated nutmeg when I make Bechamel sauce.

It's probably like anchovy or fish sauce or even cumin. You notice an oomph, but not necessarily fresh nutmeg or whatever.

R21 - or with ‘first catch your…’

Totally agree with cheesecloth r82. Deal breaker. Not going to buy one. I’d end up using it as a dish towel by mistake.

[quote]Garlic press

Wait, what? You’d rather stand there and mince or smash garlic cloves on the worktop?

although i've done many things, i've never gone as far as clarified butter.

[quote]Wait, what? You’d rather stand there and mince or smash garlic cloves on the worktop?

I’m not the one who mentioned it but, yes. A garlic press is useless. That’s what your knife is for.

i don't use a garlic press either. Your knife is(/has) sufficient.

I use a garlic press if I am using a lot of garlic. Usually, I just use a knife, though. My garlic press is one of a very few uni-taskers.

“Using your wok…” the heat on my stove doesn’t get hot enough for a wok. Nothing heats as fast as the commercial burners on youtube videos.

My fried rice comes out the same as microwave shit.

Fried rice isn’t supposed to be like how they serve it in Chinese restaurants. It should be fluffier and softer. You can make it in a frying pan. You don’t need a wok. You just have to make sure you are using rice that has been in the fridge for a day or two so the grains separate. You don’t even cook it on high heat, you turn the heat down to med-low after you add the rice. Higher heat is for the ingredients at first, then med, push everything to the side, then the egg is added if even, just break the yolks and white a bit, tilt to cover the pan, mostly cook the egg, add the rice, press into the egg, turn down to med-low, stir fry or more like turn over and over until it dries out a bit. Avoid liquid seasonings as much as possible unless the rice is really compact and separated from the fridge. Use salt instead. Finish with herbs/green onions etc.

Nutmeg is an essential ingredient in a lot of Greek dishes. Moussaka, pastitsio and the like, as well as desserts.

Marshmallow cream

Brining

[quote]Wait, what? You’d rather stand there and mince or smash garlic cloves on the worktop?

Of course I would. I use garlic all the time and prefer it sliced super thin then sometimes diced or chopped into tiny pieces for a few dishes. Minced garlic comes out as a clot of fine mince that burns easily and disappears in the food with a different taste.

With a knife, the garlic both flavors the whole dish in a controlled way and survives in tiny pieces that are microbursts of retained garlic flavor. The minced stuff smells more strongly of garlic but tastes less of it; it requires more cloves to approach the flavor of the knife method.

And I can probably mince/slice smashed or whole garlic cloves in less than the time it takes to find the mincer.

In any case, even with a mincer you usually still have to remove the dry outer skin -- and then clean the mincer, a process which practically requires its own tool.

Anise

People who've never used air fryers, Instant pots, garlic presses, rice cookers or potato ricers are confident in dismissing them as unnecessary clutter.. Some things like Instant pots and air fryers have a learning curve and some new owners never get past that. It's fine if you don't need or want these things but some people find them very useful, Different strokes, etc.

I am not much of a cook, but Instant Pot allowed me to be able to make Pot Roast at home. I never would have attempted it without it.

Copious amounts of pot roast?

Silly!

R24 has low ambitions and lowbrow tastes.

He also seems a bit preoccupied with me.

I second, or third the one about the garlic press. It seems an awful lot of waste and you don’t seem to get much garlic from it, unless you use massive sized garlic cloves.

You are right, R88. The taste is not identifiable but it does add something to the finished product.

I have a salad spinner but I hardly use it. It’s a bother to take out and then have to clean and dry it out later.

[quote] Avoid liquid seasonings as much as possible unless the rice is really compact and separated from the fridge. Use salt instead. Finish with herbs/green onions etc.

What? I've never heard this. You can add stuff like oyster sauce and soy sauce. Agree with your point about leftover, frozen / defrosted rice, though. That's how my mom made fried rice.

In college and in my 20s I would make dishes that required overnight cooking. Chili for example. Certain soups. This extended to cassoulet and pot-au-feu in my 30s but only half-heartedly. Now, for 2 decades, no overnight cooking methods.

You cooked chili overnight, r109? Why?

Most chili improves, simmered overnight. If it's meat, the meat tenderizes. Vegetarian black bean chili can transform with some umami added ingredients then simmered.

I have a small salad spinner (it was probably marketed as a herb spinner). The only time I use it is when I make basil pesto to spin dry the washed basil leaves. Fortunately, it doesn't take up much cabinet space. I swear my mom's is the size of a bushel basket. I can't remember the last time I used my garlic press. I have a small cutting board that I only use for garlic, onions and other alliums, and it's easier to use that than find the press.

Fried rice is what you use leftover rice for in my house. The rice does not need to be cold; it just needs to be not hot. The key to perfect homemade fried rice is butter. I make barely cooked scrambled eggs in butter, then set them aside. Add more butter and cook the onions and whatever meat (e.g., chicken, shrimp), then add the rice then any vegetables (e.g., corn, peas, carrots) then add the soy and oyster sauces. Mix well, thrown in the eggs, stir again, turn off the heat, then drizzle with toasted sesame oil. It is really foolproof and better than most restaurants' fried rice.

My deal breaker is recipes that call for grains that have to cook for hours, like some wild rice.

Any recipes that are too fussy and require too many steps. No, I am not going to grind my own flour, thank you very much.

I hate verbose recipes that feel it necessary to over-explain everything. "Cover with a clean cloth." Do they think I would use an oily rag?

Ina says: "Use good olive oil."

[quote]Ina says: "Use good olive oil."

But I was planning to use the Wal-mart store brand!

Crockpots are great for people who want to go outside and enjoy sunshine and fresh air instead of hanging out over a stove all day. Salad spinners help extend the life of lettuce. Buying and experimenting with cooking tools is a gamble, but not as much as going to restaurants. I’m 67 years old and just bought a meat mallet so I can make the chicken picatta recipe that someone was kind enough to offer on the obscure spices thread. Why did I deprive myself so long of a simple tool ?

I don't see anything wrong with overnight "cooking." It's not like you're setting a timer and stirring the pot once per hour.

R119 there is nothing wrong with it! But for some reason I just lost interest and don't do it anymore. I used to entertain large groups and those big soups and stews and chilis were crowd pleasers.

Jeezy creezy, I made Butter Chicken once. Delicious, yes, but it took nearly every bowl and measuring cup/spoon I owned. My kitchen looked like Napoleon and the Army of France had just marched through. Never again.

Throwing the Thanksgiving carcass in a crockpot overnight makes for a great soup.

Anything super fiddly with a bunch of steps like macarons.

[quote]The key to perfect homemade fried rice is butter.

The key is separate grains imho.

[quote]What? I've never heard this. You can add stuff like oyster sauce and soy sauce

Of course you can. Some people tend to overdo it on liquids… But the master uses salt. Or at least that’s what Martin Yan says.

If I add oyster sauce, I will dissolve in a small amount of stock first.

Liquid smoke

Too many ingredients that need to be "finely chopped" are a definite deal breaker for me.

Lately, it’s celery - $8 absent good leaves on top. Why are they stealing the pretty part ?

Finding celery powder without salt was a score, but it doesn’t work the same

I agree about powdered celery! I found some in an Indian market and it has been a godsend. I love the flavor of celery, but do not like crunching into it, especially if the strings are still in it. Celery powder provides a boost to tuna or chicken salad, chili, sometimes marinara sauce.

Crockpots are a super useful item, especially on vacation. What?! That seems ridiculous. But after several years of spending a fortune on restaurant fare in Palm Springs, and spending most daytimes hiking or sight-seeing, or attending films at the film festival, I finally realized I could buy a used crock pot from one of the many thrift stores that abound there for $5, throw something in in the morning (chicken thighs, a pot roast, whatever) with a few aromatics and some seasonings, and return at 5 or 6 pm to a hot meal that I didn't need to attend to at all. At the end of the vacation, I would just donate the crockpot back to the thrift store. In the past decade, I've been spending my time there in the condo of a friend, so she just allows me to store a crockpot there.

I just used a stalk of celery for my broccoli cheddar soup. Just like the Panera version.

The best part of celery for flavor are the fresh leaves. I "stealthily" (well, I think I am being stealthy) rip the leaves off of a few bunches of stalks and hide them inside the middle of a bundle of celery, which I then purchase. AND I AM NOT ASHAMED!

So many idiots toss the leaves in the garbage, only to use just the stalks, I feel I am doing everyone a favor. Why yes, I may be deluded, but I am happy.

A couple of tricks for us poor bastards who love fresh herbs is to fill a bag of loose leaf spinach and hide a couple of bundles of basil in there, then knot the top of the plastic bag. I've never been caught.

Need some tarragon? Grab a romaine lettuce or a bunch of dark chard and shove the bundle of tarragon inside the leaves. Put it in a plastic produce bag as above. Again, never been caught, I get the herbs I want, and put the money I would have spent on them toward a bottle of (slightly better) plonk. *hic*

R131 I'm with you! I use your trick hiding fresh parsley (ridiculously overpriced at my local store) amid green onions (always cheap.) Budget tabouli!

I find this less offensive than the eldergay who eats the banana in the store and throws the peel in the garbage on the way out.

I like the celery leaves, but I just look for a bunch that is light green with a lot of leaves. Never mind pinching extra from another bunch or pinching parsley and hiding it in the nether-regions.

Liqueur or schnapps.

Cook on high for 4 minutes. Peel back plastic film enough to stir. Recover with plastic film and cook on high for an additional 1 1/2 to 2 minutes.

Heating food in containers of plastic, or styrofoam, or paper bags

nonstick cookware, plastic spoons and spatulas, bread makers, tea machines, percolators for coffee, aluminum cookware, aluminum foil, glass containers with plastic lids, wood cutting boards

Most importantly, I don’t have a colander to drain pasta!

Wimpy and a hypochondriac. What a prize.

Salt bae

No celery

No celery

No celery

“Dr” Oz and salt bae

“have u ever been to a Turkish prison?”

[quote] Heating food in containers of plastic, or styrofoam, or paper bags

How about this?

R118, I have both wooden and metal meat mallets that are older than I. Same for my rolling pin, yellow ceramic mixing bowls, and all my cast iron cookware.

I cook nearly every day, and find so much comfort in those tiny things. I'll be rolling dough on the countertop, and can see Mama standing in that exact spot 60+ years ago making apple turnovers, biscuits, and pie crusts with the rolling pin that still glides effortlessly, making that odd little squeaky sound as it tumbles.

When I break out the meat mallets I'll see both Daddy and Mama in the kitchen late Saturday nights prepping for Sunday dinner; Daddy tenderizing the roast, Mama feeding him slivers of fresh garlic to stick inside the little knife-holes for tongue-bursting flavor.

Oh, and the ancient (IIRC came from maternal Grandma's kitchen) wooden pestle they used to grind spices with a little flour for Sunday's gravy--it also doubled as potato masher. To me it works better at grinding and combining spices than a food processor.

Sorry for derailing thread....

Nice memories, R143.

I cook, mostly to feed us. My mom is not so much with the cooking anymore.

🙄🙄

I hate to cook

[quote]The Palm Restaurant's Creamed Spinach

Thank you for this...I love creamed spinach and have been getting my fill via Birdeye frozen. This looks much better!

Cooking is for the birds.

Easy/lazy faux creamed spinach ...

Combine frozen spinach with one of those little cardboard tubs of Boursin soft cheese, heat. Add salt, pepper, nutmeg.

So traditional creamed spinach is just spinach combined with a béchamel or mornay sauce?

What on earth is wrong with aluminum foil and wooden cutting boards, R137? Agreed, nice memories, R143! My mom had a squeaky rolling pin, too.

I hate, hate, hate cooking. I love to watch cooking videos, and I like to collect cookbooks. Having to stand over a stove and cook IS the deal-breaker.

[quote]I hate, hate, hate cooking.

R151 = Peg Bracken

I ain’t parboiling shit, I’ll tell you that.

I have an ice maker, but that thing of boiling something and then plunging it into iced water ... forget it.

My gf's grandmother ran a tamale parlor in the Mission in SF lo so many years ago. I have her wooden chopping bowl and curved steel knife with wooden handle. Use it all the time...it is so efficient. Perfect curve to the bowl and knife. The wood feels like velvet.

Make it Mornay, r149. With Parmigiano-Reggiano and a grating of whole nutmeg.

[quote] Combine frozen spinach with one of those little cardboard tubs of Boursin soft cheese, heat. Add salt, pepper, nutmeg.

That sounds pretty good and easy.

I ordered creamed spinach at a Ruth's Chris steak house. I ordered creamed spinach and was really disappointed. I realize Ruth's Chris is not the pinnacle of steak houses, but they should be getting creamed spinach right.

I have a friend who freaks out about cutting meat on a wooden cutting board. It is utterly useless to share an article such as I'm linking below with him, as he had to study food safety as a caterer in the early 80s and those lessons are NOT TO BE REVISED.

Leftover cooking oil - make it into soap for heavy duty cleaning. All you need are coconut oil, lye (caustic soda) and maybe tea tree oil for scent. There are a million soap recipe calculators online.

I have one cutting board that is Alliums Only; that keeps the onion smell on that board. All my other cutting boards I use willy-nilly for chicken, meat, fish, vegetables, whatever I'm chopping. I wash them in hot soapy water after and let them air dry. I have never had a food-related illness from any of them. (A friend has dedicated cutting boards for alliums, chicken, meat and maybe fish. He, too, had to take a food-safety class once.)

I would love to have one of those huge thick cutting boards the size of Rhode Island like you see on America's Test Kitchen or Lidia Bastianich. Alas, I don't have the counter space, and I'd be surprised if one of those things would even fit in my kitchen sink.

[quote]Leftover cooking oil - make it into soap for heavy duty cleaning. All you need are coconut oil, lye (caustic soda) and maybe tea tree oil for scent. There are a million soap recipe calculators online.

No thanks. But it sounds like a fun project for the kids!

[quote] I hate it when a roast chicken or turkey recipe says to leave the bird uncovered in the fridge overnight so the skin will dry and the meat will absorb the salt. Who has room for that in their fridge?

I do.

I have a second refrigerator/freezer and one freezer in my basement. It’s very convenient around the holidays.

[quote] Anything certified by Grog as easy and delicious.

Don’t you like easy and delicious?

[quote]I hate it when a roast chicken or turkey recipe says to leave the bird uncovered in the fridge overnight so the skin will dry and the meat will absorb the salt. Who has room for that in their fridge?

Where have you been keeping your chicken that it suddenly doesn't fit in your fridge?

It was in the freezer, probably.

I don't like having to slaughter animals on the full moon.

Celery

I defrost big chickens or turkey in a large cooler with ice packs and change them daily. Any blood or drips get washed out when it’s time to cook the bird.

An axe.

Head cheese.

OP here. Now that this thread has seemingly run its course (which is fine), I just wanted to thank everyone who posted for keeping it courteous. No trolls, no thread-derailing back-and-forth arguments, etc. You made the thread fun to read. And I'm still never buying or using a candy thermometer or a piping bag.

Creating a makeshift piping bag is easy, R171. No purchase necessary!

Yes, Ziploc or other plastic bag (piping bag). Snip off a bottom corner (very small triangle). Pipe your frosting or whatever.

[quote]Pipe your frosting or whatever.

"Pipe the new fish!"

Sifting flour

Too labor intensive for me since I hate cooking/baking

You have the wrong sifter. It's nothing.

[quote]I've owned a marble mortar and pestle for ages. Handy for all kinds of things, including grinding up aspirin for aspirin facial masks.

And other white things, not for facials at least not that kind.

Making caramel is a pain in the ass.

Egg yolk

Peeled grapes.

I'm not a great baker or sweets maker, but I've made flan a few times, including the caramel part. I never realized there were so many "dangers" to making caramel. Never had troubles with it, never had to brush down the sides of the pot. I bet if I tried to make flan, again, the caramel would seize up.

Great, now I want flan.

Flan is easy to make. I mean, custard is fairly foolproof whether is a pie or a ramekin.

Flan is fucking disgusting, Full fucking stop.

Flan is just a custard.

An overly sweet and drippy one.

Overly sweet? You can put as much or as little sugar as you want.

Cooked egg yolks. No sireebob.

Cooked egg yolks? As opposed to raw egg yolks? Raw egg whites? Cooked egg whites?

My blatino husbear loves his mamacita’s flan.

Hot sauce

Great. Now I want prunes and fish.

[quote] Cooked egg yolks? As opposed to raw egg yolks?

Correct.

In a number of recipes I have come across for salad dressings and French sauces, cooked egg yolks are required. Also in chopped salads and steak tartare.

So what? Flan requires cooked egg yolks, as well. I'm assuming the objection is to raw egg yolks.

You assume wrong. I have trouble digesting the cooked proteins of egg yolks. Whereas something like mayonnaise which is made with raw egg yolk, I can eat.

R193

R193, what brought this about?

Canned soup makes me stop reading

R198 Wistful memories of past repasts.

A potato ricer. I have a masher and it works just fine.

I have a butcher block with knives in it. Other than the bread knife, I have no idea what the others are for or if I even need them.

I use a candy thermometer and it still doesnt turn out. This is one of those things grandma knew how to do just by experience.

If you eat a whole can of nutmeg you get high like on cannabis.

I won't make anything with whale blubber anymore. You wind up with a 495 pound chunk of it in the freezer and the place stinks for days.

[quote]I use a candy thermometer and it still doesnt turn out. This is one of those things grandma knew how to do just by experience.

My mother never owned a candy thermometer and she made wonderful fudge. She would test it by putting a small amount on a saucer and then rapidly stirring it with the spoon to see whether it became firm. Worked every time.

[quote]A potato ricer. I have a masher and it works just fine.

I have a ricer and I will never go back to a potato masher.

raisins.

You can fuck off with your goddamn bouquet garni for all I care.

1 piece kombu seaweed

[quote] I have a butcher block with knives in it. Other than the bread knife, I have no idea what the others are for or if I even need them.

I'd keep the bread knife (serrated, I'm assuming) and dump the rest. Free up some counter space.

R207 They're just little prunes.

[quote] They're just little prunes.

No, they are not.