Have you been screwed out of an inheritance?

Spoken words are meaningless when it comes to these matters.

Actions, as in acting to place a name as a beneficiary in a payable upon death financial account or to name a person as a beneficiary in a legal will are what counts.

Yeah it has to be specified in the legal will OP. Sad but true.

I haven't, but my best friend has been - maybe. Her mother died of breast cancer a decade ago, with around one million going to her stepfather (who has since remarried), with - perhaps - the assumption that it would be distributed to her daughter in turn. She has received nothing of it. She had a great relationship with both her mother and stepfather before he mothers death

The only money you're entitled to is the money you earn yourself.

R4. Fuck you so self-righteous cunt,

I just have one sibling-a brother. Due to my lack of interest in ranching, our grandfather gave him all his farm and ranch land. Our father planned to do the same thing with his spread. But he didn’t actually memorialize that wish in a will. So when our father died my brother and I each received 50% interest. Due to the extreme drought at the time the government offered subsidies for crop and livestock damage and shortfalls. So besides the land, I got a chunk of money that rightfully should have gone to my brother. So I didn’t get screwed, but my brother did.

However, my mother was going to give me her shares in timberland in Washington state, since it was no work income. Over the past few years she has initiated a gambling problem. So she has been selling her shares after the timber is harvested in various areas. So I am missing out on the opportunity for income over the long term. Not necessarily getting screwed over, but more karma for my brother’s situation.

I grew up with my mother telling us four boys that our grandmother had left her 100 acres of land in Texas directly to us. Then when my grandmother finally died, my mother pretended not knowing what we were talking about and took the land for herself.

No me but my mother. Grandfather had a will evenly dividing his estate between his three children. The grandfather had put his son's name on all his accounts, I guess he thought it would make things easier but when my grandfather died my uncle just took all the money, they were joint accounts so legally he could do that. Most the estate was in joint accounts, so all that was equally divided was a small house and car. Not the hundreds of thousands of dollars, the uncle just took it. Lawyers told my mother that they could sue but most of the money would just be lost in legal fees and she might not collect anything. Eventually my uncle gave each of his two sisters a check for $10,000 each, much less than they were due.

My while-alive-beloved great aunt, who had no children, promised me verbally and in many letters over many years that I was the "primary" heir when she died. Fast forward to six years ago, my then-92 year old great aunt died right before Thanksgiving. She had a will, which was read the day after Thanksgiving while I was still in the area. I was not invited to attend.

It turns out that she made the same promise to almost all of my first cousins, but ended up leaving the bulk of her estate to her step granddaughter. And $50K to a church so the minister would conduct her funeral service. She never attended that church while alive. Appearances seem to have been more important to her than anybody knew.

We cousins went out of lunch the afternoon of the reading of the will. We compared notes. She manipulated all of us for decades for attention by the sound of things. The thing is, I adored her when I was young and kept in touch for forty years after. I always spent a day with her when I went home a week during the holidays until the year that she died. I guess I did not get "screwed out of" an inheritance, but I felt betrayed. I had a hard time reconciling myself.

Her estate amounted to about $2M all in. My mother, her closest living relative, got the oil wells since the deeds for them mandated that they pass to the closest next of kin. So at least Mom gets about $9K a month that the old bitch used to get. (I suspect that I will have to fight my older sister to share them when Mom corks off.)

My late husband was screwed out of a substantial amount by his brother. When their father was dying he had him sign a changed will with his lawyer present. When my husband died, he admitted it to me and I haven't spoken or seen him since.

Happened to my grandmother and one of her sisters. They had a brother, the black sheep of the family, out West. When he died(early 1950s) lawyers contacted them to settle the will, as each had been left some land. They were offered money for it( $500.00 each) and accepted, returned home marveling at their good fortune.

Did I forget to mention how much land was involved, and the location? Silly me. Jackson Hole, Wyoming. They were paid the grand sum of a dollar per acre for the 500 acres each had been left.

I just looked at some real estate sales for that area. 33 acres sold for almost 9 million dollars.

Ah, what might have been. 😢

Yep - my brother changed his beneficiaries over to my cousin at one point - I don't recall why - but he removed my mom, me and my brother. I think he was transferring a lot of accounts over when he was trading and it was easier just to have one name to put it in and the ID information. Then he'd go back and add the rest of us with our socials, DOBs, etc.

Killed in a car accident. My cousin, who he has met twice in his life, got everything - around $2 million. Never offered to split it with family. Never used some of that money to pay for the funeral THAT WE HAD TO PAY FOR. Never paid for the attorneys I had to hire to close the rest of the estate, because he had no will.

Nothing - my cousin kept it all, meanwhile we spent over $50k in funeral and attorneys fees to close up probate.

And my brother was single - not married, no kids.

R10 too many hes and hims makes that post so confusing. Sounds like you haven't talked to your dead husband since.

I'll stick up for r4. Harsh as that reality can be, they're correct.

Deep down, I think most people know that, when they've, in their perception, "been screwed out of an inheritance", the one that really let them down is the person that's dead.

But all you can do, as the wronged person, is target the person when ended up with what you thought would be yours.

It's pretty tough to call on the carpet a dead person, but they're the one who didn't act to assure that what you believed will happen, happens.

R9 sounds like a manipulative cunt

R12 hopefully he ODs

My dad was out of his mind with a skull filled with Melanoma brain cancer.

My mom was his guardian at the end.

She phoned his sisters to come and say their goodbyes. They hopped on a plane with a quitclaim for my grandmother's home.

My grandfather built the home, my dad maintained the home for fifty years, roofs, hot water heaters, air conditioners, window replacements and sometime in the 40s, my grandmother put his name on the title.

I picked them up at the airport with my grandmother, my mom and I left them alone with their dying son/brother, and they slapped a pen in his hand and got some sort of signature on the quitclaim.

When my grandmother died a year later, I looked up the deed that I thought contained my dad's name, I saw the quitclaim filed the SAME FUCKING WEEK THEY VISITED.

My dad's family is a bunch of lazy, evil grifters who cheated my mom out of tens of thousands of dollars.

If there is a Hell...

R15 I’m talking about the final heirs not the posters just fyi

Family are nasty cunts

I've just been screwed

Not screwed out of an inheritance, however ... My mom predeceased my grandmother (mom's mother). My grandma's house was in a non-revocable trust, my mom being one of the beneficiaries. My mom bequeathed me her share of my grandma's house.

Fast forward. Grandma died.

My mom's sister (my aunt), who was also a beneficiary of my grandma's trust, is pissed off at having to share the proceeds of grandma's house with me. She was a bitch about it, but I still got the money.

As a child, I saw this happen to people in my family. We had two elderly spinster aunts who were very wealthy, and our middle-class family invited them for holidays, took them to doctors' appointments as they aged, and they repeatedly told my mother and her sister that they would inherit everything when they died. When they both died off, all the money went to a very wealthy family they were friends with.

My widowed grandmother, who was lower-middle class, had an older brother who was very successful and well-off. Almost every time he saw her, he'd take her aside and say, don't worry, Mae, I've taken care of you in my will. He died and she did not get one cent from him. And he had been telling her this for decades.

In both instances my family members were shocked, but it really taught me a lesson at a young age about the fact that people say all sorts of stuff they don't mean, for all sorts of reasons. I have never expected an inheritance from anyone, and never gotten one, so I haven't been disappointed. On the other hand, my husband received a sizeable one that was a nice surprise, and it looks like he may get another when his father dies. But neither of us is counting on it.

Those 2 spinster aunts, what assholes.

It's probably best not to tell people (who aren't related to you): I'm going to remember you in my will. You might change your mind. They might kill you.

If people know they're dying, they might start giving things away. When my mom got a terminal cancer, she started giving away money and stuff (jewelry).

We are nicer and kinder and do more for old people we think are going to leave us something. That's human nature.

I have a friend from a well-to-do Montana family. Owned a large house and big property on Flathead Lake. When the mother died, turned out one son had forged her signature on a bunch of documents and made off with quite a bit of her fortune. Another brother, a big shot lawyer, sold the house on Flathead, and my friend, who has worked hard her entire life as a nurse supporting her husband and son, and spent many weekends of her adult life traveling back to Montana to care for her ailing father and mother as the only medical professional among the children, was supposed to get one fourth of the proceeds from the sale of the house. It seemed to drag on for years. She started getting checks, irregularly, from the older brother, in amounts like 10,000 here, 15,000 there. Turns out, her share should have been like 200,000, but the older brother felt that she wouldn't be responsible with the money, so he took it upon himself to dole it out to her in dribs and drabs. Meanwhile, turns out the "responsible" ones had quickly run through their shares and part of hers.

Lots of family members start behaving like methheads when inheritance comes into play.

I don’t understand the question, and I refuse to answer it.

My best friend. His dad was a big Beverly Hills psychiatrist who owned properties all over Malibu. He came down with early onset dementia so the family hired a private nurse eventually - a much younger Filipino lady.

You can see where this is going. She manipulated him into marrying her and then had the will changed, taking everything. His estate was worth millions.

When my friend’s father died, he did everything he could to wrest back some of the proceeds. But he never got anything.

My cousin was an artist. He gave me his Leica camera, but when we went to find it, it was gone, probably stolen by a home care worker.

R27 what is that cunt’s name? She deserves to be exposed.

I have not but could be in the future. I hope to keep my parents a long while and I have been lucky that way.

I’m one of two single siblings in our family. One of us quit working 15 years ago and lives with our parents in their home, which is huge and beautiful. Our Dad has slowed down and needs care, but our Mom is still in full command of their home and resources.

My single sibling is like their roommate. He lives in their home but is a pack rat and subsists on odd jobs and cars and phones passed on to him by our wealthy married siblings, and by me. He is the “fun uncle” to our nieces and nephews, but has no income and pretty meager assets since he left the workforce at in his 30’s. He will need to inherit more than I will to manage independently after we lose Mom and Dad. I’m “luckier” because I fell upward into big jobs, but I also tried really hard to “put myself right” financially, and I have.

Oddly I’m closer to both parents but I suspect it’s because I am not with them all day each day. I’m dreading losing them, and I am also dreading being their executor because our wealthy married siblings will definitely want me to help our single sibling, and I will do that. It’s a little bittersweet because he was always better looking, more athletic and way more popular in school and in our extended family.

totally

I could’ve been but my mom’s a good person. My dad didn’t update his insurance when my parents divorced or when I came of age (he also didn’t update it when he got married and waited until my grandmother died). My uncle and I signed some paperwork at the funeral home thinking one of us was the beneficiary to pay for the funeral. Didn’t really give it much thought. A few weeks after the funeral I get a phone call from the funeral home and they asked me to sign some more paperwork and the next week they called my mom to do some paperwork. Fortunately my mom signed the paperwork to pay for the funeral and for the excess amount to go to me. If she was a witch she could’ve refused but I guess my state has some laws about an ex spouse being the beneficiary on an insurance policy.

My partner is about to get screwed by a con artist who has control over the money of an elderly aunt who is quite demented. My partner was told he would get a few million but the con artist got the aunt to sign a new will. The doctor will testify to her dementia, you say? Nope. They are all from a village in Italy and the doctor is in on it.

My partner wants to fight this, but has zero money for a lawyer. We are in Toronto, Ontario. Does anyone know what to do when you can’t afford a lawyer?

I was cut out of a will. I knew I would be, this was a relative who was like a parent, but who was also a drug addict and caused immeasurable damage to everyone. This relative destroyed each and every relationship.

So long story short, my sibling who had also had to detach, behind my back, swoops in and rekindles the relationship, making sure that the will listed my sibling as sole beneficiary.

What hurt the most is not about the money per se (though of course it hurts to not have that gift of some financial security!!), but that it was symbolic of how broken my family really is. THAT is the bigger source of my pain. And then my sibling worked very hard to point out that I had abandoned our relative, even though EVERYONE had abandoned the relative because it was a dangerous situation. So my sibling kept pointing out that I should feel guilty, so that my sibling could rationalize getting put on that will and icing me out. It’s $2 mil.

I do not have enough in retirement, a huge mortgage, student debt, went through a terrible divorce that I had to rebuild from. And then….my sibling asked me to help clean up the suicide scene. I went only because I needed to know if I could ever see my sibling again and if we could even heal. Fuck 2023.

"Todd got a train set."

[quote] I’m dreading losing them, and I am also dreading being their executor because our wealthy married siblings will definitely want me to help our single sibling, and I will do that. It’s a little bittersweet because he was always better looking, more athletic and way more popular in school and in our extended family.

R30, do you know what's in your parents' wills? I think you need therapy. You *do not* have to enable your brother just because your parents did. This is up to you. Do not allow your married siblings to bully you into taking care of your deadbeat brother. Just because you're single and responsible doesn't mean you need to be the caretaker of your brother.

When my dad got divorced from his third wife, he wanted to make me the beneficiary of his pension. But he had already assigned the wife, and whoever was in charge of the pension plan said it couldn't be changed. So now the bitch ex-wife is getting thousands of dollars a month.

Sounds like a whole lotta people on here relying on a payday after a 'beloved' relative died.

My mother married my dad for money and was so happy when he got cancer. She had the power and took everything.

She is living a great life in luxury. Evil people always live so long... only the good die young

Not yet.

Yes, it happened to me.

As I was jotting down my account, I remembered a YouTube video I watched this morning about using chat AI. So, I fed it the topic, asking for something concise and fun. This is what I got from ChatAI.

"Yep, same story. Scribbled the saga, then bam! Realized every post up top hums the same old tune. You're in, eyes glued to gold; You're out, bitterness unfolds. But oops, a twist, plot spins like a kite; Tragicomic tango, inheritance bite. Rinse, repeat, the grand family waltz, where wills become battlefields and vaults."

Not bad. No prattling on and on. Thanks Chat!

I worked in college at an auto parts store. The owner was the man who worked there and his wife and they took on a partner when they started the business as they were a little short of cash. The partner owned a large business. When they went into business they set up a buy/sell agreement. It gives the party who is living the right to buy out the other party who died. Well, when they signed the agreement they were renters. They ended up being very successful and bought a location that at the time was worth 2+ million. They never updated the buy/sell to include the building. When the owner died the partner offered his wife 50% of the cost of the inventory but nothing for the building since it was never listed in the buy/sell. The wife of the owner got screwed. It went to the Virginia Supreme Court. The rich get richer!!

This is... a very loose interpretation of your question, OP. But, my paternal grandfather's cousin moved from India to China as a young man. He was an art collector and dealer. He amassed one of the largest private collections of Chinese art and artifacts in the world. He hand his wife never had any children. They eventually re-settled in London, where they lived until their deaths in the 1990s. My father and his siblings actually tried to make contact with them in the 70s and early 80s, but they declined to meet any of the family. Before they both passed away, they bequeathed their entire collection to a few major museums in Europe. We've heard that were the collection auctioned at the right time, it could have been worth between $250-350 million dollars. Alas, none of us will ever see a shred of that.

A friend of mine comes from a crazy family with 4 siblings. His mother had dementia, so my friend moved back home to look after both parents a few years back. As it turns out, his father died unexpectedly, which created problems, as all assets were in his name, given the mother’s dementia. At the will reading, all assets were evenly split amongst the 5 kids. But one brother had an absolute meltdown at the reading, as a year earlier he’d gotten the father to change the will with all assets going to him and his wife. As it turns out, the demented mother had mentioned this to my friend before the father died, and the other siblings got the will changed back to equal shares, without telling the asshole brother. The asshole brother is a lawyer and is now trying to sue my friend, as he coordinated the latest will effort.

Having a rich relative leave you nothing is not being screwed out of an inheritance. It might suck but you weren't screwed.

If you didn't have that rich relative, then you'd just have to EARN YOUR OWN MONEY.

Everything but the bloodhounds snapping at your rear end, dear!

My partner is wondering if his brother screwed him out of inheritance. His brother had power of attorney over their mother and father's money toward the end of their lives. Their parents did require in home care and that was expensive, but they both had pensions and social security every coming in every month and more than 4-6 million dollars apart from those monthly payments. So it was 24 hour care for about two years. His brother, a bit of a long-suffering martyr, always complained about how hard it was to look after them when all he had to do was sign the checks. My partner learned 5 years ago that this long suffering care taking brother has an annuity that generates 2600 dollars a month. He claims that when he retired (early) from a government job all the vacation/sick days he was owed came to a hefty sum and he bought the annuity with that money. I think you need at least 300k to get an annuity like that, but my partner doesn't want to explore it.

It was comedy gold to witness.

Prior to an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, a relative visited his “attorney” to modify his will monthly. That is an exaggeration, but he’d bring it up whenever I took someone to visit him. He’d hint that I might be in the will and I asked him not to do it as his grown kids really needed support.

He made both of his sons sweat. When he died, there was a shitty house and two older cars,

My mother died nearly four years ago. I assume, whatever her financial assets were, she left them to my father and I wouidn’t expect to inherit anything from him. Even if he did bequeath something to me, I wouldn’t accept it.

But I’ll never know anyway because two of my brothers, the oldest and my identical twin, are the types that would get the fix in and deny me any inheritance. In fact, I’m sure they would’ve already seen to my exclusion which is fine.

When my mother died, a few days after the funeral they arranged with my middle brother to meet at my parents house to go through my mother’s things, divide up her possessions accordingly, as with 5 granddaughters, she had promised specific pieces of jewellery to each one. They arranged to meet up at 2PM but unbeknownst to my middle brother, the other two got there at 8AM and cleaned the place out and then just pretended the stuff his two daughters were looking for had just been lost. Two weeks later my nieces saw one of my sister-in-laws wearing the jewellery that was bequeath to them but she shamelessly gaslit them and pretended it wasn’t the jewellery they thought it was.

Again, I don’t stand to inherit anything but this is why I wouldn’t have anything to do with it anyway. I have my own stuff, thanks.

Distant Relative (DR) was very rich, but known to Close Relative (CR). CR’s family all knew DR, had know him for decades. CRs family was connected to DRs family at one point, but the rest all died. So CRs family was only In touch with DR. DR was financially generous with CRs family, but they weren’t really hurting and they weren’t that focused on it.

Sort of lost touch or grew apart for a while. So maybe a period of 10 years when DR was not actively involved with CR’s extended family. But then DR got sick and somehow CR was contacted. Turned out DR had been in contact less because DR’s mental health had declined. He bounced back physically, though. Also turned out he was richer than CR had realized.

CR took over care of DR. There were also lawyers involved. Probably social services. Not sure. CR was a conservator, and so was a lawyer? Not sure of the details. Lawyers did some work, but CR did the bulk. Finding living facilities, arranging medical care, hosting DR for holidays, visited DR regularly, bought DR clothing, took DR to visit the rest of the family that lived a few hours away.

CR and the lawyers made sure there was a will and CR got a nice cut and made sure that all CRs family did, too. When DR died (at about 150 years) decades after CR became involved a lawyer who had been tangentially involved years ago popped up out of nowhere and tracked down some other distant relatives (maybe they were seventh cousins and CR was a tenth cousin - something like that) who lived thousands of miles away and didn’t know who DR was. And the lawyer got the family to threaten to contest the will and the estate had to settle with them and the lawyer took a big cut.

This isn’t a tragedy. Everyone still got something and it was found money for everyone involved. CR would have done the right thing even if there was no money. But I’m relating it to make people aware that there are lawyers and conservators out there who know all the tricks and will fuck people over.

The other lawyers who were involved got paid for doing work. They didn’t get a fortune. The far away unknown relatives had a legit claim. But the lawyer finagled the whole thing was a dirt bag. He was only briefly involved but made a note of the family tree (that CR had gotten a genealogist to construct) and other info about the situation and waited years to come out of nowhere. And he never disclosed that he had previously been involved. CR just happened to remember seeing the name once on a document.

Depending on your state’s laws…

Retirement accounts can have several beneficiaries, but percentages have to be assigned by the worker. The spouse will always be the primary beneficiary.

When there is a spouse at the time of death who has children from a previous relationship, (real property) in most states goes half to spouse and half divided among the children. Even if a will leaves 100% to the spouse, a simple probate challenge will enforce the division of assets.

The main hurdle of contesting a will for complex cases is the cost of litigation. Except for petitions to enforce law, contesting wills requires investigation, experts, and lots of time.

And depending on the state's laws, if the deceased person's children are all legal adults, there may be no legal obligation to designate any of them as a beneficiary.

If they're still young, pre-adult children, I think the money and property has to be distributed to them and their step-parent.

I think my brother did re my mother's will for an equal split. But like a couple posters said above, you shouldn't count on what you think "due" you because of xyz.

He's considerably older than me, and we were never that close; when he eventually kicks the bucket (and he's loaded), he won't leave me squat. Fine. It's his money.

I loved my mom dearly and I take care of myself very well--and she'd be proud of me.

If you've been fucked over re a will, I think you should just let it go. Karma has a way of settling scores anyway.

I think the problem is when a parent(s) hoards all the money for themselves their whole life, telling the kids, "Oh you'll get it when we're gone". We don't need help when you're 90 and we're 70; too little, too late.

R54, I completely agree. I posted my story above, and at the end of the day, what I cared most about was my family not being more broken apart. And after the suicide, we did come together more. So no, I didn’t get a million bucks, but I got my nieces and nephews back.

None of us are entitled to anything on this planet. I know that can make one feel bitter, but it’s the truth, and there is a feeling of empowerment that comes with being free from worrying about money, true freedom when you can let it go (the fear). I say this as someone who does not have enough saved for retirement. I’m just going to trust that somehow, someway, it’s all going to work out. Enjoy each day like it’s your last.

And it depends on who is the Succeeding Trustee to a Life Trust and who the designated beneficiaries are.

My abusive brother doesn't know he's been cut out of my mom's will. She's giving him a token amount. When he finds out, I'm afraid he'll do something like poision my dog (he knows where I live).

I can confirm, r48.

I also work for the government, and when I was looking to retire, I spoke to someone regarding their annuity.

The government has people who will come in and discuss retirement with you as well as annuity options. To get an annuity, you have to transfer over AT LEAST $300K to one of their (outside) accounts to receive any sort of payout.

Sorry.

To read a sad story about an inheritance, you should read the following about the composer, Ravel. For those who don't follow classical music, he was the composer of Bolero, as well as a number of other famous works- but Bolero was a cash cow. He died in 1937 at the age of 62. His will left his money to his brother, but with instructions that most of it was to be used to fund an institute in Paris for up and coming composers. His brother announced that after Ravel's death. But the brother eventually began to have bad health, and hired a couple to be his caregivers. Like the far-way lawyer mentioned above, a French bureaucrat named Lemoine in the copyright office was paying attention to Ravel and all the money his estate was bringing in due to Bolero. He quietly maneuvered behind the scenes to get copyrights extended, then when Ravel's brother died, and left his money as well as these copyright rights to royalties to the caregivers, who were not sophisticated people, Lemoine bought that copyright shares from them. He then fled France for a tax haven country, and continued collecting residuals for the next 40 years - to the tune of at least $57 million dollars!! Not a penny was ever gifted back to the Parisian institute, even beyond his death, and he didn't have a family or heirs. So a man who never met Ravel or had any direct relationship with anyone in his family, didn't know or care anything about Ravel's music, ended up living to the end of his life in utter luxury based upon Ravel's artistic output.

"I suspect that I will have to fight my older sister to share them when Mom corks off" - R9, I know this is a delicate subject, but perhaps you should try gently to nudge your mother into writing a will, especially if she owns oil wells.

Yes. My abusive control-freak mother cancelled her AARP health plan. A few years later she took ill. I had her power of attorney. Her health care cost 82K. That was my inheritance. She had inherited some stocks from her uncle. 25k of which along with her mobile home were sold to pay the medical bills. There remains $5600 in stock that I can't cash in or have because she neglected to send in a form naming me as heir. Was sent a letter from a company that would give me cash value of the remaining stock for a 20% fee. Right now I'm not willing to settle for 80% of very little. I got half of her life insurance policy, $1500, leaving me $750. I did get $6000 from her bank accounts, but had to drive all the way from the Phoenix AZ area to Northern California to get it, as they wouldn't do this over the phone. The life insurance company recently sent a letter addressed to my late brother informing him he could collect the remaining $750. This will probably go to his wife. I am not cooperating with them providing an address or anything else. Yes I AM greedy. Payback for having been physically and emotionally abused by my parents.

Sorry, R62, your 'abusive control freak mother'.......whose death you wished to benefit from....

What does that make you?

"Was I?"

"...Was I?"

menluvinguy - please, PLEASE, I implore you ... use paragraph breaks.

Werk. Covergirl!

R27 Once you see a parent's first signs of dementia, a child or closest family needs to get power of attorney asap. You shouldn't be swindled by the help because you were too stupid to have a lawyer draw up that stuff.

yeah but sometimes your siblings are the evil ones you have to watch out for....don't trust anyone!

I was screwed by my own mother and sisters and brothers. FUCK THEM. I hope they all get cancer and die.