Are NYC gays really as pretentious/narcissistic as people make them out to be?

Yes, they are true to an extent.

No comment.

Yes.

Yes, especially in Manhattan.

Unfortunately, the New York culture is overall -- and it really impacts the gays -- "love will see us through until something better comes along."

I know a lot of very clubby, fussy gays. They usually have money as well and good looks, now fading.

Umm, almost all generalizations are true "to an extent."

It’s actually worse in smaller cities and enclaves.

Umm, I was going to say that, R7, but that in itself is obvious. Umm...

Well, R9, if all generalizations are true to an extent, what's the point is bothering to ask if a particular generalization is true to an extent? In other words, what's the point of this entire thread?

A lot of Manhattanites are very insular and not at all cosmopolitan.

Many rarely leave the borough or the city in general.

They think everything is there and that NYC is the center of the universe.

There are a lot of gay men in NYC who fit that stereotype (and happily so), but that's not all of them by far.

Have a drink, R10.

Yeah, it’s a lot of people who were picked on in high school. They then graduate and take on the characteristics of their abusers.

That, R14, and/or a desire to be one of the special chosen (in taste, travel, style, living) that makes up for feeling one of the outcasts.

Yeah, they are cunts until 50. Then they realize they are nobodies still and the world doesn't care that they've spent the last 2-3-4 decades of their life in NYC.

By then, it's too late to do anything about it because they've built their lives around some feigned zip code-based superiority that is an illusion.

Oh, dear--Miss R16, aka NYC hater, has stepped into the thread and made it stink.

I love this description of New Yorkers from The Making of a New Yorker by O. Henry:

“The thing that weighed heaviest on Raggles's soul and clogged his poet's fancy was the spirit of absolute egotism that seemed to saturate the people [of NYC] as toys are saturated with paint. Each one that he considered appeared a monster of abominable and insolent conceit. Humanity was gone from them; they were toddling idols of stone and varnish, worshipping themselves and greedy for though oblivious of worship from their fellow graven images. Frozen, cruel, implacable, impervious, cut to an identical pattern, they hurried on their ways like statues brought by some miracles to motion, while soul and feeling lay unaroused in the reluctant marble.“

New Yorkers (generally) thinking they're the centre of the universe make them fascinatingly cosmopolitan and provincial at the same time.

Oh fun - another hate on NYC thread.

No OP. They aren’t. There are pretentious cold assholes everywhere. NYC is no different. None of my friends are pretentious or narcissistic or cold. I’ve been in NYC for over 20 years.

New York is just like anywhere else. It’s not special. You find great people here and shitty people here. Everyone is just living their lives. It’s not that deep.

Exactly, R20--and I've lived here even longer.

Who paints toys? Who is this Henry dude anyway. Is he trying to be ironic?

R19 That's also true of San Francisco.

Gotta love people who have been stuck in their same rent-controlled studio for decades pontificating about how the world revolves around them. Here in SF, they are always so backwards-thinking too. Everything they spew is about how great the 80s and 90s were.

At least in NY they are present and forward thinking, I will give them that.

100% agree, r23. It's definitely worse in SF.

As progressive as The City likes to be, SF is chock full of the most insular neighborhoods and “clans” outside of Boston. It definitely is for gays…

…and straights for that matter.

I lived in SF a long time ago. I would agree that it's snobby & cliquish. And it's all fucking *transplants* acting like that.

[quote] Gotta love people who have been stuck in their same rent-controlled studio for decades pontificating about how the world revolves around them.

Actually, R23, after a quarter century, no one thinks the world revolves around them, in any city or anywhere, so cut the bullshit.

^Found the SF queen holding on to her $865 studio for dear life.

Nothing works anymore, but can't upset the landord. SAVE THE CASTRO THEATER!!!

Ha, R28, I actually live in Hell's Kitchen with a balcony and a view.

R20, thanks for schooling R16, who desperately needs it.

[quote]Gotta love people who have been stuck in their same rent-controlled studio for decades pontificating about how the world revolves around them. Here in SF, they are always so backwards-thinking too. Everything they spew is about how great the 80s and 90s were.

I haven't been to San Francisco in decades, but from what I hear of what that city has become, it's not surprising that people who live there would obsess about how great the '80s and '90s were in that city. But it is surprising if anyone who lives there now feels superior about that fact.

I don’t speak to people who make sweeping generalizations.

Considering 20,000+ gay men in San Francisco died of AIDS in the 80's and 90's, that nostalgia may be for something else.

[quote] They think everything is there and that NYC is the center of the universe.

And?

MR. GRANTZINGER'S SECRETARY: "Why, New York is the center of everything!"

MOMMA ROSE: "New York is the center of New York!"

I've had a lot of fun with some NYC gayzzzzz......

Me, too, R36.

Ha! They're certainly out of their league thinking so.

Boston! Oh, my sides!

All these NY queens blathering on about generalizations and humility and not knowing anyone full of their own BS in NYC.

Mary!

All these SF queens deflecting to Boston.

Mary!

All these LA queens silent because it's 62 degrees in LA and they are freezing. Their beautiful selves can't deal with the cold. How do those pretentious/narcissistic queens in NYC and SF survive. What dumps.

Mary!

Gurrrl...

[quote] All these SF queens deflecting to Boston.

"Deflecting" to Boston?

Deflecting or bowing down?

The only two guys I knew from Boston were date rapists.

Oh no, now what is going on here… Chilee

I have a friend who is performing in a show in San Francisco and for the safety of the company, they are all staying in....Oakland.

NYC and LA are no different than flyover shitholes. No one cares about either of them. Homeless and shit all over the streets, record deficits and no one can afford to live there. Everyone is leaving in droves. Don’t worry about them. The people you’re asking about are in the minority now and the demos will continue to change as more people leave.

Miss R48 is a mess of contradictions--no one cares about these cities, and yet they're the two most populous cities. And apparently, though everyone is leaving in droves, no one can afford to live there because everyone moves to these very undesirable cities.

Oh, Mary.

Especially since many of those jobs went WFH, R48.

R49: Regarding R48, I'll see your "Oh, Mary" and raise you an "Oh, Dear."

No oh, dear necessary. Btw, where do you live?

[quote] where do you live?

They never answer that.

If you're asking me R52, a midwestern city in Illinois.

I assume it's not Chicago.

R55 Maybe... maybe not.

So not Chicago.

Gawd, NYC and LA queens squaring off are so tarsome.

No, they're not, dummy R58.

Love how the NY queens are deflecting to any city they can find to try to change the subject. It's so typical.

Receipts, please, Miss R60.

Read the fucking thread.

[quote] NY queens are deflecting to any city they can find to try to change the subject.

What subject, R62? That NYC gays are pretentious and narcissistic? I answered that question in the affirmative at R1, you moron.

One thing that surprised me about NYC gays is how much emphasis so many of them place on muscles above all else. Sure, gay people everywhere have long been into good bodies, but it’s different in NYC.

NYC has a lotta gays, R64. A lotta competition. Cream of the crop.

But muscles don’t make someone the cream of the crop in my book, R65. In fact, I don’t like an overly muscled body. There are a lot of NYC gays who don’t even seem to see the face, to say nothing of personality.

R66, NYC gays are not any more overly muscled than anywhere else.

[quote]New York is just like anywhere else. It’s not special.

You shut your filthy, stupid mouth!

I grew out of running with a pack of gay men. I guess it wasn't fun anymore. I loathe a fussy gay so that rules out a lot of them for me. Lived in LA twice and NYC. NY can be smart. LA is usually dumb.

The one adjective I would use, based solely on my assessment of NYC gays on DL, is “delusional”.

Okay answer me this guys, which is the friendlier city?

OP,/R71 what's your point? Are you bi-coastal curious?

[quote] and the demos will continue to change as more people leave.

And enter

[quote]What subject, [R62]? That NYC gays are pretentious and narcissistic? I answered that question in the affirmative at [R1], you moron.

I guess you are an example of the pretentious New Yorker. Thanks for demonstrating your own post.

Not at all. I'm living proof of it. I was a New York gay for 40 years and nobody could ever call me pretentious or narcissistic.

R74, you can't walk back your stupidity.

Of course not. They are human beings and come in a wide variety, especially in NYC. This is simply another DL post displaying free floating anger wrapped up in a silly meme.

Actually, R77, I was hoping they wouldn’t be because I wanna go. But I’m too afraid of how the scene is portrayed there so I don’t wanna embarrass myself. I can handle sass, but if it’s like talking shit in the streets or being ignored when trying to make conversation that’s what I’m scared of.

R79 THATs the reason for your post ? Not sure how old you are but who cares what people think in NYC or anywhere

R78, all your fears are completely unwarranted.

Yes, all of R78's fears are unwarranted. Assuming that post was even serious and didn't come from a troll.