Anybody else genuinely dislike kids?

I sometimes think of the "cool" and "celebrated" kids who bullied me in school all those years ago and what they're like now, and what they are like as parents. I would hope they would raise their kids to be better than they were but I doubt that's the case.

The cruellest ones make it the farthest in life and breed more psychopaths in return. And the doggy-dog world we live in only further encourages this pattern.

But I don't dwell on the abuse I got from them anymore, I refuse to give them that power. I rest assured in the knowledge that they are pieces of shit and I am not.

It's not that I genuinely dislike kids, but I struggle to relate to those people who make being a parent into their whole identity. One family member's ex-partner still regularly regularly posts toddler and young child pics of her son, who is now 20 years old, all over her social media: he was sensible enough to put his foot down and ban her from posting anything more up to date.

They really are sociopaths from the ages of around 8 to 14 or so: it's not entirely their faults, but their brains aren't fully formed and they lack empathy, which is why they can be so cruel to the kids who are weaker than them.

These are two separate issues; horrible children that bully others and innocent children that don't.

I love kids even though I was bullied mercilessly as a child. I don't always equate the two because they aren't all pieces of shit. I blame adults that excuse bad behavior. That's where it starts.

I’m ok with most kids. My issue is with their insufferable or just plain terrible parents.

I stay away from any kind of class reunion because if I get a few drinks in me, there would be bloodshed.

Preaching to the choir, OP.

Parents have to teach kids empathy and some of them do a shitty job of it

This is how the needy-for-clicks OP spent her morning.

I love playing with babies until they get incontinent. But the older I get the less I want to be around kids at all.

What I hate is the expectation that I will find them charming just because they exist. I’ve seen cute ones and clever ones, yes. I’ve also been seated by the babies who’ve squalled all the way through both a takeoff and a landing and, when my luck has really bottomed out, all the way through the entire flight. I vote for school levies because an educated populace is desirable.

But, no, I’m not charmed by them.

74, widowed, no kids. I sometimes envy parents and grandparents because they have a larger social circle and often better holidays. They do things.

But then I slap myself out of it and realize that, as an only child, I really can't relate to little kids, nor have I had any desire to "go through" school and its homework, activities, travails, again! I had no need to shepherd another human being through this Vale of Tears to the inevitable.

And what if they became Republicans?! 🤪

I am just not a kid person. I cannot relate to them, and really have a tough time being around them. I just got back from a long trip, and was amazed at the number of cute young guys who have kids - sometimes three or four. All I can think is that these guys will never be able to have a life of their own, and will never get out from under that mountain of debt from having kids.

I like kids because I’m childlike

I never liked kids when I was a kid. Why would I want any around now? Their parents are pains in the ass too. You gotta be pretty amoral to bring a new person into this shit.

R16 misanthrope

I don't enjoy kids at any age. Never desired one. I find them a chore to be around.

I’m an anti-natalist.

I think babies are adorable but I lose interest when they start talking and shrieking like banshees. There's a particular age when they develop an ear piercing, glass shattering scream that makes me want to kill them and like R16 I never related to them even when I was a kid.

I see tons of women online with user names like "momof3" and, yes, their whole identity is being a mother and I don't get it but my mother was never like that. She always maintained a separate life so i grew up in the knowledge that parents don't revolve around their kids existence.

I don’t dislike them, I just don’t find them interesting. Nothing is more boring than hearing about other people’s children.

For whatever reason my link didn't show up. Try again.

No, most kids are great, some are not. But I love my niece and nephew and watching them grow up from tiny little wee babies to teens has been one of my favorite experiencees of the last 10/15 years. In fact it sort of depressed me when I saw them start to grow up and become less needy and more adult and independent. I miss the babysitting sessions, and how they seemed to worship everything I said. Now they look at their phones all day and mumble when spoken too....

Really OP, is t had at the best you can do? Troll.

I used to know one woman whose daughter would interrupt adult gatherings so everyone wold be forced to admire her cheer/gymnastics routines. Mom never tod the girl "this is a grown up party and we are not doing this now". Nope, we'd all be forced to watch with polite smiles frozen on our faces.

Are you new R24? This thread is very DL.

[quote]the doggy-dog

EEEEEEK!!!

R2? The expression is "dog-EAT-dog" world. Damn -- crack a book once in awhile!

I came to write almost the same thing, r23.Most kids are cute, some aren’t, but they are not innocent. Outside personal charm, a key factot is how they are raised and educated. I think the fact that people have children later on in life is a factor here, they spoil them more.

I have two nephews whom i love and am with frequently. It is q cliche but also true that you look at theworld through their eyes, it helps they are curious. They are now in their early teens and predictably starting to act out.

Having said all this i so not miss having children.

They seem to be intrinsically selfish and self-centered until we try to groom them out of it. My niece has a plate of cheese covered fries in front of her. Her mom asked for one, and the child carefully pulled out a run of a fry that had absolutely no cheese on it and preferred it. Little bitch.

[quote] I was bullied a lot as a child by other kids,

That’s because you were a kid, and they genuinely disliked you.

[quote] and preferred it

Oh dear.

R23 "Having said all this i so not miss having children."

Oh for sure. Having to raise children and be reesponsible for them in every way is very different from being aunts and uncles. We get all the fun stuff, none of the real hassle (for the most part, I've had to discipline them on occasion, which was always eye opening as someone with little discipline myself lol)

I loathe babies and toddlers. Kids 5-8 are fine.

I think most parents would be better off if they realized the world doesn't love their kids and no one else is responsible for them. Newer generations don't seem to get this.

"PEANUTS WIIL KILL MY CHILD SO NO ONE SHALL HAVE THEM!"

My friend has two daughters she is constantly bragging about and they’re both awful. Spoiled. Ungrateful, entitled, disrespectful to her and everyone. I went to see her on Halloween and her thirteen year old was wearing a satin bustier, running around in the streets and screaming. Her mom that it was so cute and wonderful.

I have two kids. I love them. I don’t expect anyone else too really. I appreciate what I feel incredibly proud of, others wouldn’t give a shit. There’s a small community of gay parents where I live & it’s great. One of things I struggled with most when coming to terms with being gay is that I desperately wanted a family one day & I’ve felt very judged my whole life by gay men mostly for wanting something ‘heteronormative’. But honestly, I don’t give a shit anymore. I have a happy life.

You do you. Most kids are not awful or bullies. Some are. They probably have shit parents. But there will always be children so you may as well not waste your time feeling so angry about it.

Maybe R2 learned English from Gloria.

Oh dear god why are people so shitty?!!

I have almost zero contact with kids. I don't mind them, like I don't mind zebras. They just aren't in my life orbit very often

OP, Did your parent truly dislike you ?

Count me in.

R40 do you even have to ask??

After a run of families with young children in the apartment below us, I told a friend “you know, I really like two-year-old boys.” Thank goodness it was said to a friend!

But I do. They are silly and curious and in awe of someone as tall and old as I.

OP, that's a marvelous elevator speech, but I was already sold.

In answer to your question, I think some kids are terrific, but I'm still glad not to have them.

Generally speaking, if the parents are cunts, so are the kids. There are outliers though.

I only enjoy children who are polite and know how to engage with adults respectfully. That's a matter of upbringing.

Throw the rest in the trash bin, along with their parents.

Never liked them.

I used to loathe kids when I was younger. Everything about them bothered me for all the reasons stated here.

But I've softened in middle age. I don't want to actively murder them anymore. I just want them away from me by at least three or four feet instead of the one hundred feet I used to require.

With age comes wisdom I guess.

I dislike most kids, but there are exceptions. Two friends are raising their children without incredibly limited screen time. They don't watch regular TV and only watch movies once per week. That kind of thing. Everyone reads, works on hobbies, etc, in their household. The children are engaged in the world around them, able to have conversations with other humans of all ages, are creative and curious and very enjoyable to be around.

I knew from the age of 8 that I did not want to have children. I clearly remember thinking that if this was the best that my parents had to offer, I would be a horrible parent. One of the biggest fights I had with my father was when, at about age 10, I said that people should be required to attend child-rearing school and obtain a license to have children at least as — if not far more — stringent than getting a dog license. He blew up at me and said I had no idea.

Years later and well after my father's death, my mother said that they'd argued over my attitude toward marriage, specifically he accused her of turning me off marriage. When she told me this, I laughed out loud. I told her than no, I had always wanted to get married (and did officially in 2014 to my husband of 30+ years) but that Dad had turned me off having children. I immediately felt bad and changed the topic but she knew exactly what was I was talking about in light of my brother's troubles with his kids which I attributed to having a terrible role model for a father.

That said, one of the best decisions I ever made with regard to children and my family was that I would not be involved with nor offer advice to my brother regarding his kids. I love my niece and nephew, but I'm proud that I kept to my vow and stayed out of his parenting. I'm happy being the (in their eyes because I spoil them) rich guncle.

Every single person you know was a kid at sometime

I like them from afar

Two words, OP...grow up.

[quote] the doggy-dog

[quote]EEEEEEK!!! [R2]? The expression is "dog-EAT-dog" world. Damn -- crack a book once in awhile

I’d love to live in a doggy-dog world… it would be much more peaceful than a people world.

Indeed, R27 & R53. Doggy-dog sounds like a position to have sex.

Frau alert at R52.

I have some, grown now and away. Many revelatory moments, and if one bothers to converse and relate to them, their viewpoints are amazing. Even very young children understand way more than one would think.

And yes - It's a lifetime commitment to their well-being, no joke, often wearying, because they're often top of mind, no matter they're well into adulthood now. I understand the dislike too. God how they can screech and fuss. Those who continually bubble over with adoring sentiments are pretending, and likely psychopaths.

I dont find babies cute or adorable. I once had a college biology professor try to point out that we are attracted to young animals like puppies, kittens because that would get them the attention they need to survive. But then he also threw in a pic of a baby in there. That's when I was like wait a minute, those are NOT the same. Little puppies don't scream your ear off at piercing levels for hours on end. And most babies have pinched ugly faces they look like old men, nothing you want to cuddle with like a small kitten or puppy.

I didn’t like kids when I was a kid.

I hate kids. Always have. Never ever wanted kids, ever. When I was a kid, as soon as I could, I started spending time with older kids, college students, young adults. Learned a lot and got into a lot of things my parents would have been appalled by. But I grew up fast because I wanted to.

Strangely enough, I actually like "kids" once they become "people" -- in my mind, about 14 or 15. And they like me, even gravitate toward me. I think it's because I treat them like they're adults and not children. That's the same thing that always made my community college students love me. It's too bad that my being out in FL (while surrounded by closeted, paranoid fellow faculty) fucked up any academic career I could have had.

I will end this by quoting my bff; she used to say, "When you have a baby, you're [italic]making a person[/italic]. I don't even want to make a [bold]sandwich[/bold]!"

I never wanted kids, even back in High School, but I generally like them — so being an uncle was perfect for me. I made an effort to be a fun, empathetic presence in their lives and enjoyed every minute I spent with them taking them around the city when I would have them one on one.

There are 7 nieces and nephews in total and all are adults now - some keep up with me, others not so much, but people are different and I engaged with them at the time in their lives when we both got something great out of it.

It's not so much the kids as it is the parents. I can't tell you how many times where a kid between the ages of 5 to 15 cut me off at a grocery store with their parents with them with no apology or acknowledgement. And the parents watching it don't even acknowledge the total etiquette fail. So I look the parent(s) in the eye and say. " My ! Aren't you raising a competent self aware child that will contribute to society!! You must must be sooo proud!!!" And then walk off.

It seems that a lot of the complaints above should be aimed at the parents, not the kids. I like kids. But never really wanted to have any of my own. I do have a problem with a lot of parents who love to brag about their kids, it is so off-putting. Nobody cares that little Brandyn, Taryn, Raj can play 5 instruments fluently (ffs, they're only 5!).

I didn't much care for kids my age when I was younger. I always remember asking my mom to send all the kids home at my birthday parties. I got my gifts, you all free-loaded some cake and other delicacis, now, get the fuck out.

I don't hate them but I have a very low tolerance for them. I have friends who have young kids and the most time I can tolerate is about an hour. After that, I'm out.

I grew up with an older sister and two younger brothers. A lot of my time was spent dealing with my younger brothers when I was a kid. Kids are a pain in the ass and I never felt my "biological clock ticking" as most women claim. I always knew I didn't want them. I feel like if you have any kind of mental illness or physical illness like obesity or MS or anything that is genetic that it's cruel to have kids. My entire family suffers from some sort of mental illness, mostly depression but my father and mother were complete narcissists who acted like we were burdens.

Of the four of us siblings, only one decided to have kids. Those kids inherited depression and obesity. And my sister and I both had breast cancer, I was obese, my brother who had the kids has obesity and MS and my other brother is really obese. I see my nieces getting huge and all I can think is those poor girls were dealt a bad hand. They both also suffer from depression as do I.

I don't blame my brother for wanting to have kids, but I do wish people would give this shit more thought before they just squirt them out. I would never bring a kid into this world today. All you're doing is creating more slaves for the future and damning them to whatever issues you suffer from.

Not all kids grow up to be good human beings. There are 2 MILLION people in prison right now in the U.S. Those were all someone's "miracle" baby at one point.

I don't dislike them unless like adults, they're unlikeable, and if that's the cause, it's often due to the parents. (not always, though)

I don't automatically coo over children. I didn't want any. I'm lucky to be an Gen Xer, as a woman this was the first accepted generation of women to say no voluntarily, to kids as choice and have it be accepted.

r65 I never realized how ingrained it was in American culture about women having to have children. I innocently thought it was "over there" cultural norm.

I'm glad that women now can say "fuck you, no kids coming out of this body." I have many coupled friends (hetero) who don't have/want kids, they seem to be the happier couples I know.

I know several people who are "estranged" from their children. Adult children in their 30's. These people, who are all wealthy by the way, blame their own kids, not their shitty parenting that let them grow up that way. It never crosses their mind that if all their kids are not talking to them, it might not be the kids fault. Conveniently, they always blame their ex-spouse for "turning them against them". Sorry but that's a cop out.

If you raised them right with love and respect for both parents, they would not be so easily turned against you. Worst of all they think tossing them some cash will fix it. But what they find out is the kids take the money but nothing changes. Then they resent the kids for not licking their ass because they forked out cash thinking it solves decades of neglectful parenting as a good roll model.

You all realize that you were children once too, right? So basically, this thread is about your own self loathing that you project on others.

r67, my parents are asking their kids for money and we all refuse because they are both crazy and never planned for a future. They believed that their kids would grow up and take care of them and then they treated us all like utter shit throughout our lives. My parents never gave me a dime after I moved out at 18. Paid for my college with student loans as did my sibling (they borrowed money from my sibling when she got grants and never paid it back).

I no longer speak to my father because he tried to murder my mother when I was 11 and then let the house we lived in be foreclosed on and we had to move in the middle of the night. He did this out of spite. My mother kicked my brothers out of the house when they were 9 and 6 because she was tired of my father threatening to call CPS on her for allowing my alcoholic and abusive step dad to beat her kids. Then, when one of my brothers turned 16 she had him emancipated so she didn't have to pay child support anymore.

Parents who are assholes don't deserve a good relationship with their kids.

r68, naw, I love myself now, but when your parents didn't love you, it's hard to get there.

Having kids is a very selfish thing to do unless you have money and good health. And in todays world that's not a common thing anymore. You are dooming your kids to a life of servitude. Many, MANY times in my life I wish I had never been born. Life is a struggle and it's sometimes beautiful, but for the most part, it's extremely hard.

R15, I am, too. I look at much of the observable world with wonder. I skip and sing on sidewalks. I jump into autumn leaf piles.

R68 my mother has been saying that I was born 30. I didn't like kids my own age and always had older friends. She also said even as a baby I had impeccable eating habits. So maybe not self-loathing just born "older".

R68 nice try.

You go on loving kids. The rest of us will do whatever the fuck we want.

Stating you don’t enjoy children has nothing to do with self-loathing. But it sure does trigger some people 🤨

Over the years my dislike of children has mellowed into ambivalence. If I interact with them I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. You meet an interesting one now and then.

As others have said, I hated being a kid and always wanted to hang out with adults. Kids were for playing outside and commiserating with at school, but adults always talked about interesting things and told funny stories.

Modern parenting is a mystery to me. I didn't spend an inordinate amount of time with my parents, and neither did any kid I knew. In my youth parents and kids lived in separate worlds and liked it that way.

[quote]You all realize that you were children once too, right?

Yes but my parents kept one tiny baby pick in their walled if people asked to see what their child looked like. They did not post DAILY on Facebook with hundreds of picks 365 days a year. Parents back then knew it was rude and annoying to force your kids pics and endless conversation about them onto other adults. Kids were part of their life, but they didn't expect everyone else to treat them like the center of the universe.

I can't stand being around children. Adults cater to them too much, which I also hate.

They're fine but so whiney and seem to have to function on strict schedules, even though they really don't.

They know where to find the booze and the boys!

I dislike people that are poor at parenting.

I don't dislike kids, in fact, the older I get the better I like them. I think you build up tolerance as you grow old.

As a teen I spend 4 summers as a camp counselor, so I very much like kids. Some of course are annoying and too self-centered, some of those grow out of it, and some never do.

R11, babies are incontinent. Unlike you, they do not "get" incontinent.

Every time I encounter “un enfant insupportable” all I have to do is look at the parents to understand completely why the kid turned out the way it did.

It's genetic with me. I'd never hurt a child, but most of us are hardwired to react to a baby's crying or screaming to soothe it. I'm not. My first and only reaction is "Get that thing out of here and shut it up."

If it's a dog whining or a cat meowing, my first reaction is, "Awww. What do you need? What can I do for you?"

And like the poster above, my heart doesn't melt looking at a baby's face; they're usually hideous. Meanwhile, puppies and kittens are adorable.

R83, you and me are the same. Whenever i hear a ceying brat, I give the death stare and then shake my head.

However, when kittens meow or whine, I say, "Oh, how cute."

Crying brat

I like most kids and most people. However, some kids and people are cunts. A friend had the weirdest kids but now they are in their 20s and seem less weird.

R68, How utterly banal. So, to project, you adore old people because you might become one?

I liked running around as a kid (I'm sure my neighbors didn't), but I loved books above all.

As I noted, I was (am) an only child. IOW, no siblings to hold or fuss over or love or look up to, etc. Paternal violence towards my mother. I grew up self-centered and angry.

Thus, no children, no pets. I knew very early that caring, particularly for the grosser aspects of physical existence like "picking up" after a dog, was not part of my genetic makeup. Am I a sociopath? Perhaps. I definitely am a misanthrope.

Takes all kinds.