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Conservatorship--I have mixed feelings

They were meant as legal protection (from themselves) for older people with things like cognitive issues, but also included younger people with drug problems, etc.

Though I think Britney Spears needed help, her father was toxic and used conservatorship as a tool to wield power and control over her, while also using her as a cash cow.

I know that Jake Cannavale has been under a conservatorship controlled by his father, Bobby Cannavale, who was terrified his son would end up dead from drugs and alcohol. It's a very strict conservatorship but it comes from a place of love that Spears' conservatorship did not come from. He's still under the thumb of his father who really loves him, unlike, I believe, Spears' father, but he really is a prisoner, with no free will.

A couple years ago, one of my best friends took conservatorship over another good friend of mine because the family didn't want to step up and acknowledge their brother was a severe alcoholic, drug addict, and depressive. Meanwhile, my friend has locked up our other friend like a prisoner. He goes out to see his shrink and that's it. It seems cruel but he says his draconian choices made for our friend are out of love. He even controls what time our friend goes to bed, what he eats, who he speaks to. No internet, no cell phone--same with Jake Cannavale.

It seems like these can be taken to the extreme and become a question of power.

by Anonymousreply 73January 6, 2024 5:27 PM

What's the problem?

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by Anonymousreply 1December 17, 2023 12:08 AM

Seriously!

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by Anonymousreply 2December 17, 2023 12:10 AM

Is that true? I see Jake posting on social media so he must have a phone. If that's true, that's too bad that it's gotten that bad. Bobby is a good guy and loves his kid a lot - he even broke up with Sutton Foster because he didn't want to have her be around while he was still living with him in high school.

by Anonymousreply 3December 17, 2023 12:11 AM

I think he's gotten back some of his privileges like a phone. His father adores that kid and was terrified for him.

by Anonymousreply 4December 17, 2023 12:12 AM

It's so weird because my friend who's the conservator to our mutual friend is the most loving, supportive guy you'd ever meet, and he has money, so it's not any kind of a cash grab. But our friend is pretty much literally locked in his room in the Brooklyn brownstone he's been put in.

by Anonymousreply 5December 17, 2023 12:15 AM

Unless you're old and demented, no one under a certin age should be the prisoner of another adult. If people want to kill themselves with drugs or whatever, it's their choice. They're adults.

by Anonymousreply 6December 17, 2023 12:20 AM

It was a lot worse than just naked pictures on Only Fans, btw.

by Anonymousreply 7December 17, 2023 12:21 AM

R4 - I also saw that Jake was announced for a big part in the Aaron Hernandez movie. Wonder how that will work.

by Anonymousreply 8December 17, 2023 12:22 AM

It was because his father stepped in that Jake is, no doubt, now able to work.

by Anonymousreply 9December 17, 2023 12:24 AM

Thank goodness Jake showed those photos, and gave us all hope that he inherited that sizemeat from daddy.

by Anonymousreply 10December 17, 2023 12:24 AM

Wasn't. Robert Downey, Jr., under a conservatorship?

by Anonymousreply 11December 17, 2023 12:28 AM

Stop overreacting, Dad!

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by Anonymousreply 12December 17, 2023 12:47 AM

Oh, son, why can't you be more like me?

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by Anonymousreply 13December 17, 2023 12:52 AM

Free, free, set them free...

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by Anonymousreply 14December 17, 2023 12:54 AM

Jake's great–grandmother was the lovely and talented Lena Horne.

by Anonymousreply 15December 17, 2023 1:00 AM

[quote] Though I think Britney Spears needed help, her father was toxic and used conservatorship as a tool to wield power and control over her, while also using her as a cash cow.

[quote] Unless you're old and demented, no one under a certin age should be the prisoner of another adult. If people want to kill themselves with drugs or whatever, it's their choice. They're adults.

OP and R6, I agree with you on both of these points. I happen to be starting to explore conservatorship for an elderly dad just diagnosed with dementia. We'll know more in a few weeks after CT scan results just how far along he is. I'm looking into alternate living arrangements with more social engagement, assistance and memory care, and I have a meeting already scheduled for early January for us with his estate lawyer to review his plans for this sort of situation. But now that this is something "real" and not some "far off in the future" hypothetical thing that "might" happen, I know he will resist any sort of change whatsoever. A few relatives and I tried a couple years ago to persuade him to move closer to me -- that idea floated like a lead balloon, he got quite heated in a way I haven't seen since I was a misbehaving teen. I don't have siblings, my mom passed several years ago, so it's just me dealing with this. I've have power of attorney in effect since my mom died, but if his dementia is found to still be early, he could be of "sound mind" enough revoke it out of resistance or spite. So I'm starting to find my own lawyer and explore all my options. Even if he resists, I can't turn away from my moral responsibility as his son to get him the care that he requires and protect him from elder abuse/exploitation and other awful things that often befell seniors in cognitive decline.

These situations are dreadful for everyone involved. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, yet so many people face them every day. ❤️

by Anonymousreply 16December 17, 2023 1:01 AM

I sympathize, R16. A conservatorship seems perfectly suited for your father, as it's coming from a place of protection by a loved one. I know that in the Cannavale situation, the father also really loves his son, and "tough love" was needed.

With my friend controlling our other friend, I'm disturbed. He keeps him in a room and he's allowed to go no farther than a shrink. I've asked my friend how much longer he feels the need to keep our friend in such a situation, and my friend said, "As long as needed."

by Anonymousreply 17December 17, 2023 1:08 AM

I honestly think in the case of this drug addict Cannavale, his father's control and money saved him. If others had that kind of privilege, they would be better off.

by Anonymousreply 18December 17, 2023 1:19 AM

Looks like the father was embarrassed by the son, and having an out-of-control kid on social media might affect his career and his wife's. So he clamped down. Doesn't seem like love to me.

by Anonymousreply 19December 17, 2023 1:24 AM

I can tell you the son despises his father. There used to be love there, but iron-clad control like that being brought down when you've been used to being free is a rude awakening.

by Anonymousreply 20December 17, 2023 1:34 AM

Agree, R19. This is no kind of hero father just because he's hot looking. They both look like trash. I'm not at all surprised by the son's behavior, considering the appearance of the father.

by Anonymousreply 21December 17, 2023 1:44 AM

I’m sure he’d rather have a kid who hates him and is alive than one who loved him but is dead. R19, I don’t think he gives a damn about being embarrassed, he loves his kid. It’s too bad, Jake was very talented but fell into the weird music scene and drugs.

by Anonymousreply 22December 17, 2023 1:44 AM

That's a father who loves his son, imo.

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by Anonymousreply 23December 17, 2023 1:57 AM

Considering fentanyl and everything that normal drugs are laced with, locking down your addict loved one makes sense. He might hate you now, but he'll love you later.

by Anonymousreply 24December 17, 2023 2:05 AM

This young gentleman is an ironclad example of why conservatorship with a stern, loving parent is essential.

by Anonymousreply 25December 17, 2023 2:08 AM

I would like to be owned by a daddy like Bobby Cannavale.

by Anonymousreply 26December 17, 2023 2:12 AM

No one has the right to own or control anyone. Autonomy is essential to every human being.

by Anonymousreply 27December 17, 2023 2:43 AM

Free Jake!

by Anonymousreply 28December 17, 2023 2:56 AM

This so-called father swoops in when th e drug-addled son is out of control.

by Anonymousreply 29December 17, 2023 2:59 AM

[quote]It seems like these can be taken to the extreme and become a question of power.

Well, of course, this CAN happen and sometimes does, as you've noted. I think you've answered your own question, so I'm not sure why you bothered to post.

by Anonymousreply 30December 17, 2023 3:03 AM

R30, where do you side on the Cannavale situation?

by Anonymousreply 31December 17, 2023 3:16 AM

I'm always on the side of the father saving the drug addict son.

by Anonymousreply 32December 17, 2023 3:46 AM

Bobby loves his son so much he holds him under house arrest.

by Anonymousreply 33December 17, 2023 4:48 AM

I didn't realize how drug addled the son was.

by Anonymousreply 34December 17, 2023 4:54 AM

The son pretended to be gay and did fake sex acts for over a hundred grand, until Dad shut the shit down and sent sonny to rehab. End of story. Neither are heroes.

by Anonymousreply 35December 17, 2023 5:09 AM

The son is not gay. He baited gay men on Only Fans by pretending to be gay to get drug money.

by Anonymousreply 36December 17, 2023 5:17 AM

Rudd had been having a long affair with Scarlett Johansson. Looks like a spawn from her.

by Anonymousreply 37December 17, 2023 6:56 AM

Well, I’m very surprised that a casting director would put his kid in a high profile movie given his history. It seems like it’s too soon. Then again, I believe in redemption. Just hope the film has good insurance.

by Anonymousreply 38December 17, 2023 3:30 PM

I'm going to have to do some research on conservatorships, because I have no idea exactly how one proves that an adult is so much a danger to themself that they need to have their life completely controlled by another.

by Anonymousreply 39December 17, 2023 5:50 PM

R39 The bar is usually very high, for good reason, before a court will rule to put someone under a conservatorship. It often requires a diagnosis of something like dementia / Alzheimer's, or some other documented record that the person is a high risk or danger to him/herself -- e.g., serious addiction, has fallen and broken bones, has been a victim of abuse/exploitation, etc. that demonstrates they are at risk. Absent anything like this which is provable, a court is very unlikely to rule in favor of someone petitioning for conservatorship.

by Anonymousreply 40December 17, 2023 10:21 PM

Oh my.

Why did he abruptly quit, someone asked? Because Dad got him under his control, that's why.

That picture is sad. Glad he's out of his own way, and hopefully in rehab.

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by Anonymousreply 41December 19, 2023 11:10 PM

Good for Dad.

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by Anonymousreply 42December 19, 2023 11:38 PM

Can I get a conservatorship on Elon Musk, he is clearly being careless with his money?

by Anonymousreply 43December 19, 2023 11:48 PM

R43, if only Musk would die from a drug overdose.

I'm personally quite pissed at Daddy Cannavale. You knew that Sonny Jake was headed for gay porn. Damn you, Daddy.

by Anonymousreply 44December 20, 2023 12:33 AM

So Bobby is that hot and an actual loving father?

My lust for him is endless.

by Anonymousreply 45December 20, 2023 1:36 AM

R38, I'm sure a stint in rehab, regular drug checks and perhaps underwriting of any insurance guarantee by his dad was a big help.

by Anonymousreply 46December 20, 2023 1:42 AM

Is this an example of Jake pre-conservatorship or conservatorship?

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by Anonymousreply 47December 21, 2023 4:31 AM

R46 It just seems like a lot of trouble to go through when actors are a dime a dozen. But glad to know he might be getting his life together.

by Anonymousreply 48December 22, 2023 1:34 PM

What's all the performative gay antics about?

by Anonymousreply 49December 26, 2023 4:59 AM

R37 who is this Rudd having an affair with ScarJo? Paul Rudd?

by Anonymousreply 50December 26, 2023 5:08 AM

Everyone should read the book, "The Retirement Nightmare: How to Save Yourself from Your Heirs and Protectors." The CPS and APS systems are subject to manipulation, too opaque, and in some situations can be described as a racket. I'd love to see the media expose the abuses and prompt an overhaul of the system (a la Geraldo with Willowbrook). Way too easy for a complete stranger to turn an individual into a non-entity, and for this to happen without the individual appearing in court.

by Anonymousreply 51December 26, 2023 8:36 AM

"Conservatorship" is mostly a euphemism. It's disinfrancisrment. You might not like what children do but unless there is criminal action involved, it's good that the bar is pretty high when it comes to interfering with their lives. (Obviously, having authority over legal and financial matters for people with dementia is not what we're talking about here.)

by Anonymousreply 52December 26, 2023 11:02 AM

He'd got crack pipe burns on his lips.

by Anonymousreply 53December 27, 2023 10:44 PM

I noticed that, too, R53. What a waste of a cute guy.

by Anonymousreply 54December 27, 2023 11:35 PM

Bobby Cannavale is still making his son work, like Jamie did with Britney.

by Anonymousreply 55December 28, 2023 8:20 PM

Jake isn't even good looking.

by Anonymousreply 56December 29, 2023 7:51 AM

Conservatorships need to be monitored so there’s no abuse. But some people need help and if it’s done out of real concern .that’s fine. People with dementia, brain damage, mental illness are not able to make good choices.

by Anonymousreply 57December 29, 2023 8:33 AM

When you rave that your father molested you?

by Anonymousreply 58December 30, 2023 6:51 AM

Jake is mentally ill.

by Anonymousreply 59December 30, 2023 8:04 AM

Or the luckiest boy on earth.

by Anonymousreply 60December 30, 2023 8:06 AM

In the old days, they'd just give him a lobotomy. Problem solved.

by Anonymousreply 61December 30, 2023 11:12 PM

A picture he posted from a few years ago, looking old in an elephant thong and showing what appears to be some gray hair. Is it the toll the substance abuse was taking on him then? I hope they're now keeping him safe from himself. I might do a poll about what people actually think about conservatorship, but some pictures you see make you think it's a good idea.

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by Anonymousreply 62December 31, 2023 3:53 PM

And those bare feet in that nasty looking dirt and patchy grass.

by Anonymousreply 63December 31, 2023 3:56 PM

I don’t think simply having a mental illness and/or being an addict alone is grounds for a conservatorship.

But there are plenty of valid reasons for conservatorship of a non-geriatric person. Making bad choices is everyone’s right, but some people are too impaired to understand the concept of choices. And other people are physically incapable of carrying out their choices without a person legally authorized to assist them.

by Anonymousreply 64January 2, 2024 4:42 PM

....

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by Anonymousreply 65January 4, 2024 6:09 AM

[quote]he even broke up with Sutton Foster because he didn't want to have her be around while he was still living with him in high school.

They were her dates for the 2011 Tonys.

And she thanked them both in her acceptance speech.

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by Anonymousreply 66January 5, 2024 11:30 PM

R66 - It wasn't about the addiction. It was getting serious and she wanted to move in and take the next steps. He felt his son should be comfortable in his own home (while he liked with him) and not have a stranger around. So he ended things with her.

by Anonymousreply 67January 5, 2024 11:40 PM

He has a nice cock.

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by Anonymousreply 68January 5, 2024 11:48 PM

He was fighting his conservatorship.

by Anonymousreply 69January 6, 2024 6:08 AM

R67 and the next year he was shacked up with a pregnant Rose Byrne.

by Anonymousreply 70January 6, 2024 6:25 AM

The conservatorship was decided when Jake was doing all the gay baiting for money during the pandemic for money for drugs.

Bobby came back from Australia and put a stop to it.

by Anonymousreply 71January 6, 2024 6:36 AM

Thankfully, this seems to mostly happen to rich kids with drug problems and juicy assets or inheritances to control. No one would give a crap about “saving” them from drugs otherwise.

by Anonymousreply 72January 6, 2024 9:53 AM

Or parents who are famous and have their own reputations to consider, and don't like their kids acting out all over the place doing porn and gay baiting on social media for quick money for drugs, since the reservoir of cash for the drugs dried up from said parents.

by Anonymousreply 73January 6, 2024 5:27 PM
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