Lets Be the Germans After Their Surrender in WWII

I'm Swiss

I am my own underground resistance.....

Oh wait.....sorry.....that was the French.

Things were better under the Kaiser.

Adolf who?

Where's my apartment building?

The allies forced some of the German people to tour nearby Buchenwald concentration camp after its liberation by U.S. troops, April 1945.

Oh! That’s what that smell was!

I know nothing!

Schokolade macht frei !!!

Rest assured that if something like this happens in America during Trump's second reign of terror, the MAGAts will be the first to scream and shout "we didn't know nuthin' 'bout nuthin, even though the bitches have blood all over their hands.

They're not exactly profiles in courage.

Thanks r10. Everyone was hoping you'd turn up and turn this into a Trump thread.

I’m one hundreds of thousands of women who, if they haven’t already been gang raped by the Soviets, they will be, regardless of age…

r12 or regardless of whether or not they are even alive...

Vas? Nicht en mein backyard!

[quote]I know nothing!—Col. Klink

Wrong Nazi.

Sorry to break it to R11, but any thread related to Nazis is already a Trump thread.

and any thread related to Jimmy Carter, Taylor Swift, I'm a Slut, Huh? He's Gay?, Dolly Parton, Wh here has been to India?, Is the dutch shock election....., you get the point? Yet?

"Thanks [R10]. Everyone was hoping you'd turn up and turn this into a Trump thread."

And yet here you are, commenting on the very type of thread that works your last gay nerve.

I'm the former commandant of Dachau. I beat one last Jew to death so I could wear his striped pajamas out of here. The Allies will think I'm a prisoner and let me go. Hope no one gets a look at mein schwanz.

War is horrible. Look how much suffering it caused!

No more war!

I've got rubble crushing duty tomorrow! 🪨. 🔨

I am the incredible ability to rebuild a functional society after such a moral and physical disaster.

R22 they had help

It was all a big misunderstanding!!!

Those Jews are so sensitive …,Dr Mengele provided free health care .

And the lucky Jews who loaded the crematorium??? DeSantis pointed out it was free training for Pizza Hut jobs!! Can’t they show any gratitude ?

I was *never* in the Nazi Youth, but I’m a real Catholic and I will be pope one day!

🎶 Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles! 🎶

Not only did vee know about the Jews disappearing, vee didn’t care!

"This didn't end well but we're going to win one yet!"

I'm not defending the Germans in this, but all of Europe, including the Germans, suffered terribly from famine the years of 1944-1946. I had a friend who was born in 1941 in Germany and she remembers that she was so hungry that she drank mare's milk when she could find one who was nursing a foal. (They lived in the country). She also told me that in the state forest near her house, guards patrolled so that people wouldn't cut down trees for firewood or for cooking. People were only allowed to gather kindling and branches that fell out of the trees from natural causes. If they couldn't find enough, they knew they were going to be cold and hungry that night. But even much worse off were the Dutch, whose famine started a year earlier, as the Germans confiscated what little food was available and cut off supplies during the harsh winter. For a time in early 1945, many people were limited to 500 calories a day or fewer. There are many sad pictures of Europe at the end of the war with people walking around in a daze, trying to collect bricks in their towns destroyed by bombing to reconstruct buildings. and they were certainly cold and probably starving. I'm sure that some Germans second-guessed their support of Hitler at that point......a little late.

I am the complete lack of metal health care for millions of traumatized and morally broken people.

The racial superiority idea was put to the test post-1945 and, well, kind of held up.

Well, metal health is always a mess after a war, R30. All that metal shrapnel.......

I'm the hundreds of suicides by Nazi true believers when the war was over. Wondering how many super maga cult members will follow this tradition if/when Orange Jesus loses in 2024

I’m the complete lack of knowledge of the holocaust by most people.

I was watching the play Cabaret. There was dialogue that Jews couldn’t marry non Jews .

Overheard remark : “ that’s sooo mean … you mean they couldn’t marry anyone ?”

Pssst. Vant to buy a painting?

Ich war Dresden. Ich bin KAPUT.

What was I doing during the war? I was a ski instructor.

I am Hitler on a submarine to Argentina.

Oh yeah, I'm on a boat!

Jealous bitches?!

Jinx, r38!

do you know what goes on in gitmo? folsom prison? the supermax in marion, il?

Polling in Germany still showed plenty of support for Hitler in the years after the war, r29

Seriously? I thought they were burning juice!

not "supporting the Germans", but people rarely know anything about what their govt is doing to certain outgroups. like Mexican immigrants. If it's a militaristic, heavily policed state like the US has become, there is no way we know what all the military or the government is doing.

There is ample evidence that not only did Germans know about the Holocaust, but most approved and many were glad to help. They had been taught for decades that Jews were destroying Germany because of their inherently evil nature. There is no way to execute an effort of that scale in secret.

I’m the Austrians. Yes, my people orchestrated most of the Nazi leaders were Austrian and yes, Hitler came from here, but I’ll get off Scott free by pretending to have nothing to do with the Nazis.

My country will remain intact, I won’t even have to join NATO for safety and I won’t have to suffer under communism.

Thanks Germany for being such a good pall!

I'm a NAZI scientist off to the US for a sweet new gig building rockets, missiles, and airplanes for Uncle Sam.

I'm a Nazi Colonel with a PhD in Chemistry (with fake papers), owning a respectable business and living a respectable upper-class life.

... Oh, and I forgot to add, living in the American Midwest.

I'm an Alabaman. Pay no attention to my German accent.

First I am in the West and start co-drafting the new constitution.

And then I am in the East getting used to the communist dictatorship that is taking over from the Nazi dictatorship.

Hitler? Adolf Hitler? I only voted for him because he's your friend. I hardly knew him.

I am all the Adolf Hitler Squares frantically renamed as Main Square.

I'm all the Nazis that were great scientists and academics and got a Sure, Pal, Get Over Here! pass from the US so they could help us advance our nuclear weaponry and military strength, among other things.

I am the German at R46 angry that the Austrians made Hitler a German and Beethoven an Austrian.

I'm the pussy for sale for 2 cigarettes, a chocolate bar, or some instant coffee. 🚬. 🍫. ☕

I'm the young, or middle aged, or extremely aged frau or fräulein, inundated with offers of love from soldiers of the occupying Red Army

When going on raping and pillaging rampages, remember: paybacks are a bitch!

And now please welcome to the stage, our favorite female impersonator....

Krystal......NACHT!

Who's going to clean those ovens?

But we keep the art, right?

R31. With the 2023 equivalent of 250 billion dollars in foreign aid.

Speaking of Germans who fled Germany and wreaked havoc here.....

Two of the women in that photo are smiling during their tour. Ghouls.

I’m Kitchener, Ontario. We love and welcome nazis of all stripe. If you don’t like it here, you can go to Winnipeg or Alberta? Come one come all!

Adolf? I don't know her.

I am the sudden disappearance of the middle name Adolf in legal documents.

So long, farewell!

I’m hauling ass to West Germany.

I’m the Italians. We’re not facist anymore! Promise!

I am the typical DLer only we all wake up and it’s 1939. What are we doing then? A member of the anti nazi underground? No this is a serious post.

No we would be getting ready for German Army or AF deployment or boot camp. Some of us would be SS troops. Others would have civilian jobs all supporting our leader and govt.

The biggest success most have in life are where they are born and when they are born.

I'm Tylenol

[quote] The biggest success most have in life are where they are born and when they are born.

This is true. I must admit I have never been truly, deeply tested as people in Europe, and for that matter in the U.S., were truly tested in the 1930s and 1940s. Even when it comes to being gay, would I be one of the amazingly brave ones in the 1950s or early 1960s, out and willing to take the consequences of that? Probably not. I came out in the early 90s, which wasn't perfect but let's face it, was a hell of a lot easier than it would have been decades before that, especially in the college town I live in. I worried about social ostracism and AIDS and other things, but honestly it never even occurred to me to worry that I might actually go to jail for it. That is one huge difference, of many.

^Very true; I live in a MAGA loving area of MD (of all places) and used to work around MAGA morons, fundies & ant-vaxxers of all stripes so the best idea I can have as to how I would withstand that kind of pressure is that I kept my head down, my mouth shut and *never* talked about anything personal. I didn't say a word when this asshat at work told me that the COVID vaccine was the devil's mark (though I was honestly so floored I didn't know what to say) so I can appreciate the attitude that many people. must've had of "this has nothing to do with me; I have nothing against these people, but they're not my family & they come first. If I keep my head down & stay out of trouble, I'll get through this".

None of us fired a shot at Western soldiers. We were all on the Eastern Front. Swear!

I have no idea where that lampshade came from!

R24 You cannot be for real.

and there's that sense of humor the Germans are famous for. ^